A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)

Seven: 見えざる手 (Invisible Hand)

I guess that girl is me. Like a cat that can smell anything from a distance I can feel my eyes hard as fire and my body as cold as ice. I reached for the cell phone in my pocket, and I take one step closer without even having a definite path or destination. All I know is that something called me, and I am sure of that. I turned on the flashlight of my phone and I could see my shadows everywhere. The wind hushed louder as I flashed my tiny light into the trees, leaving the earthy aroma on my nose while some of the torn leaves flew in the direction of the wind. As the wind blew against the trees, I could hear music playing in my ears as the leaves continued to dance and swing in perfect rhythm. I continued to go on further. I remember that March in advance is particularly breezy, at least that’s what my science teacher said.

I look up, hearing the sounds of whistling and piping. It was such a high, deafening pitch that I needed to cover my ears from hearing it. I felt like I clumsily stepped on an egg’s nest below the tree branch to my right because I heard a crack in my toe.

“Aaaaahhh!”

I shouted so hard; feeling like it could shatter my eardrums.

Right before my eyes, I saw a huge eagle waiting to attack me. I glared in horror. It has a fully white feathered head, broad yellow beak, strong feet, and curved talons. I have never seen such a huge eagle in my life. Its fiery eyes stared at me with so much anger.

Flapping its large wings; as if ready to clasp me in her arms, the bird surged toward my face that I didn’t have time to defend myself.

I raised my hands in the air; as if ready to strangle its neck, and I heard a large thud as I fell to the ground.

I sensed an invisible hand hauling the eagle away from me, and after a few minutes of closing my eyes and bracing myself, there came an unbearable silence.

Time seemed to be shaken up. I stood up, forcing my legs to work from the strain; and then I winced from fright as I saw a bloody scratch on my arm. I looked to my right and saw the bird. It was killed by a force that I do not know, and that alone terrified and astounded me even more. Its left wing is heavily wounded and the slice in its neck splattered a lot of blood, crawling its way to my foot.

I grabbed a ripped leaf to cover my wound, tying it with a soft branch, crying in pain.

I recall its powerful and slightly terrifying size, as well as its lean and restless nature, and when I took another look, I realized that these villainous creatures that were darting through the night like wild dogs under the moon had the same sort of galloping height as horses with comparable size and speed. Without encountering even the tiniest obstacle, they dashed across the damaged terrain while killing simply for the enjoyment of it.

I took a little break, acting as though I were participating in some sort of survival show. I was unable to hear anything except my breathing and was unable to slow down to let it calm down since I believed that moving quickly was crucial to my thoughts. I continued to imagine the worst-case scenario and gave myself restless haste that made my discomfort worse. I moved as quickly as I could, peering into the distance and traveling by the glow of the sacred moon's light.

It dawned on me that my frenzied anxiousness had no basis whatsoever. What would I accomplish in the next life if I succumbed to this life's will rather than fighting it? Why would I exert myself to alter the course of things? Why would I painstakingly exert myself to change or alter the path of events? I experienced a strong foundation for disinterest. I needed to be home soon anyway. It’s just that something pushed me again, like the surreal energy and eagerness of that invisible hand that saved me. But then again, why would it save me in the first place? Let alone the fact that I am even here. My intrusive thoughts continued to consume me. In the end, I chose not to care.

I guess I am protected.

Maybe if I believed to continue on this journey then I might find something important to me. So, upon acting on instinctive reflex, I persisted.

Between each stride, I lose everything.

My memory has vanished. I have no idea who Hotaru is or why I'm here calling her name. I have no idea how I arrived here. I'm inside a maze, preventing the pelting rain from entering my eyes. My heart is pounding, my legs are shaking, and I smell like sweat. I must have been moving quickly yet cannot recall why. "How did I get cut off by the sight of my own hands? They're scrawny, hideous, and resemble a stranger's hands entirely.

I attempt to remember something else about myself, such as my house, my birthday, or whatever, but nothing comes to mind. I don't even have a name. Every recollection I had a few seconds ago has vanished. Between each stride, I lose everything.

I breathe quickly and loudly as my throat shrinks. Black dots flood my field of vision while the forest is spinning.

Remain composed.

You can breathe; you just need to stay calm. I pant, blood thundering in my ears, as I collapse to the ground, my fingers clawing into the soil.

This inner voice's stern authority provides relief to me.

Relax as you close your eyes and take in the sounds of nature.

Trying to follow the sound, I clamp my eyes shut, but all I can hear is my manic coughing, which for a very long time smothers every other voice.