NATALIEThis man before me is chosen by the Moon Goddess for me. Upsetting him, rejecting his advances makes me regret my actions in a natural way. I can’t describe the weight which falls over my chest when I see his eyes slowly shifting to my figure and a look of hurt crossing them. It weighs me down, urges me to embrace him but I don’t want to end up there again.“ We are moving too fast. Too fast for me to understand what you want or what I want. ” I whisper, trying to make him understand my point. “ We need to stop here so you can take care of your past first, Ryker. If we don’t do this today…” I point to the floor. “ …right here, we might end up hating each other later. ” His eyes flash grey again. From my experience with him, I can tell he is trying his absolute best to not lash out on me or show me the ugly side of his.It’s progress. But not enough. Not nearly sufficient.“ Can you really hate me? ” He narrows his eyes, his jaw clenching dangerously.A bitter taste invades
NATALIEA lump lodges in my throat as I find myself lost in his eyes. This is so fucked up. He is hurting. I am hurting. We both are hurting from inside. And now, we are hurting each other.“ Ryker. Please. This is not what I want… ” I trail off, lifting my hand to touch his face. “ This is not what I want at all. ”Ryker grips my hand right when my fingers come in contact with his smooth skin. “ Then what is it that you want from me? Tell me! Tell me so I can do it and end this headache screwing me over all the time. ” Ryker seethes, his eyes flashing between colours.The weight on my chest becomes heavier, deadlier. His grip over my hand tightens until it starts hurting.“ I want you to tell me that I am important to you. Or — or that I am not just some thing you can use. Or I am not here with you to become a child birthing fucking machine for you that you are planning to dump as soon as you are done with it! ” Tears leak out of my eyes again, disappearing in my hair.Anger flares
RYKER I see no way out of it. I understand what she is trying to tell me or what she wants from me now. I know she wants her mate to love her, to support her, to appreciate her presence in his life. Little miss pesky must have had so many hopes about her relationship with his mate. But what did she get?Me. A man torn between past, present and future. A man hiding behind false identities to survive in a world where people less powerful are preyed upon and people too powerful are executed. I want to love her. The more I look at her, the more I get to know her, I find myself wanting to reach out to her and tell her that I do care about you but… This feels like betrayal to my old self, to the woman I had promised to love. That’s why I see no way out of it. This is no excuse to keep hurting her like she screamed at me earlier that I am doing, but I really, truly don’t know how to get over my feelings and develop some new ones immediately for a mate I never expected to get. I sig
RYKER“ And why is that a problem exactly? ” My Little miss pesky, the dumbest little headache I have ever come across scoffs at me sulkily.I sigh, raking my fingers through my hair. If I accuse her best friend, the one which she might even get ready to die for if the need arises, then our crumbling fucking relationship will be destroyed in a mere moment.I don’t have any evidence. Just a conclusion at this moment. It will be a stupid move to reveal the truth to her.“ I shouldn’t bother asking any question, right? You won’t answer. As always. ” She huffs when I remain silent for a while.After snapping out of the daze, I stare at her. How is she going to feel after finding out about what her friend had been doing to her all this time? I can tell she thought those two useless women were her support system, two pillars keeping her upright when everyone was out to get rid of her or either force her into killing herself. I haven’t thought about so many things in a while. I had only o
RYKER Her eyes become wide. She stumbles back, her jaw hanging low. I reach out and grab her hand again. She wanted to know. “ And while I do it, you must stand by me. That’s what being mates with me means. For you. Right? ” It comes out as a hiss, vicious and cruel. “ What are you saying? ” She blurts, her eyes watering up. “ You know I am at war with your pack. It’s because they have a connection with the attack on my pack. ” I disclose. Her mouth closes before she opens it again, trying to say something but unable to do so. A tear rolls down her cheek and the headache worsens for me. It’s all pain, not mine but Natalie’s. “ I wanted to let you have a little we—are—all—ignorant—people—party with your friends but you wanted to know so bad. Are you satisfied now? ” I take a step back, rubbing my face. “ I am not going to forgive anyone. Even for you. ” My voice lowers a few octaves. Natalie’s face turns pale, her eyes burning again. Pain and anger triggers her wolf to come o
RYKER I take a deep, deep breath until my lungs fill with oxygen to the brim. I need to calm my tits. “ She knows? ” I exhale and move back to my spot, slumping down over the chair. The genre of the story of my life is changing from Action to Melodrama. Great! Fucking fantastic! “ She…doesn’t. ” Zero nods to himself. “ What a twist of events. So Luna’s sexy friend is giving her a wolf suppressant. And that friend is Zero’s mate. And Zero is a part of our small aware—of—all—secrets group. ” Zio claps his hands, chuckling. I shoot him a side glare. He coughs and sits straight in the chair. “ We are fucked. ” He cringes. “ How important is this mate to you? ” I face Zero, questioning. He blinks at me robotically. Awkward silence hangs in the air as I wait for an answer. My eyebrows rise in curiosity when he doesn’t answer me for the longest time. “ I didn’t realise it was a question. ” He takes hint from my raised eyebrows and states calmly. Oh. That’s a perfect answer. So th
NATALIE~A little while earlier…Ryker walked out on me again, without taking me seriously and without paying attention to what I was saying to him. Or more like threatening him with.It seems like, even to me, the rejection remains the only leverage I have against him when he acts like an asshole to me most of the times.How can he ask me to choose? On a honest note, I don’t harbour any great love for my family or anyone from that pack, but I despise war. I despise imagining myself seeing them all dead. Blood, agony, and seeing Ryker as a monster inflicting pain…that’s another thing I don’t want to witness — not when he is up against the people I once cared about and wanted to return to until recently.But when I don’t really love them, why do I keep thinking about how Emilie might be feeling after losing her mate? How are my parents faring with their heartbroken, pushed to the door of insanity daughter? I sigh, rubbing my burning eyes with the tips of my forefingers to ease the ac
NATALIE ~A little while earlier... “ It’s nothing like you think. I don’t have my clothes with me. That’s why I am wearing this. ” It’s embarrassing to cut her off to say something so fucking stupid. My cheeks start burning as soon as I am done explaining myself. My heart drums in my ears awkwardly. Her bright smile falls, her lips setting in a thin line. “ My brother didn’t bother taking you out for shopping? Or asking someone to get clothes for you? ” She inquires, sliding closer to me. Uneasily, I slip further back. The sunshine will blind my eyes if I stay too close, my mind screams. “ He—uh…” I don’t feel like saying something against him to his sister. “ He is busy. ” I nod, settling with the most used excuse by all women. “ But I am not busy. ” She chimes, her smile returning on her red painted lips. “ What— ” Before I get another word out of my mouth, she clamps her soft hand around my wrist and pulls me up. Surprised at the suddenness, I try to resist but she effor