An angel’s road to hell

106. Of places in between, realities and a little bit of acting

Cassandra Pendragon

Unbelievably, the body was still moving, faint twitches and the occasional shudder made it obvious just how much pain she was in. Crap, I could already feel the urge to help her, to free her of her binds without any form or reassurance or gain on my part. Pity was a damned nuisance.

“Great, now what?” I mumbled.

“Don’t be daft, I know you can cut through spells. Go ahead, you’ve done it before, haven’t you?” “And then? Do I shake you until you wake up?” She rolled her eyes and that was quite the spectacle, like a wave that ran across her face.

“Heal me enough to communicate but not more than that or you might come to regret it. You can do that, can you not?”

“I hope so, probably… maybe? Uh, won’t there be two versions of me, anyways?”

“No, the path you’re trying to reach hasn’t been walked yet, it’s just a dream of the universe in a way. It’ll become reality once you cross over, there won’t be two versions of you but I’m not sure where you’ll end up. You could also be sucked back spatially which would probably mean you’re going to have to fight your way through the dungeon again.”

“At least I won’t be stuck with a twin. I can’t even begin to imagine the headaches that would cause. Alright, here goes nothing.” Manifesting my wings was much more difficult that it was in the corporeal world but I persevered and with the sound of shattering glass the silvery blue torrents of energy sizzled behind me. From one second to the next my vision changed and I perceived the reality behind the pretty visualisations my mind had come up with. Shassa was nothing more than a violent mass of energy, the tiniest speck of a soul burning somewhere in its centre. The web or tapestry below her was, in fact, a series of cracks or cuts, much narrower than they had appeared, but deeper as well. They seemed to originate from a spot behind the edge of my vision and became wider and more numerous the closer they were to the source. Like peepholes they allowed me to glimpse fleeting images of the world behind the curtain, so to speak. I could see unrealised realities side by side with scenes from the past that were continuously diverging and added even more possible paths to the mix. In a way I gained a glance at what it had been like before the fundamental laws of the cosmos had been established, chaos and order, creation and annihilation happening at the same time. Another memory stirred at the edge of my thoughts, the primordial display had triggered something but now wasn’t the place. The next time I was going to fall asleep peacefully sure as hell would be interesting. Or maybe just infuriatingly vague, it was hard to tell.

At least it had become obvious what I had to do. With a thought I caught the metaphorical edges of the scene Shassa was showing me and slipped a wing through. The pressure came immediately as if a giant had been waiting on the other side and was now trying to yank my wings straight from the socket. I reacted on instinct and shoved more and more energy from my core to strengthen the wing and this time around, my body could withstand the rush of power. Like a raging river, a hot and cold flood raced from my core to my wings and I could feel the structure of the time stream give way when it couldn’t crush the obstacle, its own strength ripping it apart.

The whole web trembled violently and I saw threads burst under the mounting pressure. Shassa’s presence quivered and deformed as her life was spent to hold it together, the space around me slowly disintegrating while she vaned. I wasn’t going to hang around and admire the changing scenery, so I allowed the stream of energy that still flowed to my wings to carry me along. A shower of silvery sparks danced among the violent outbursts of light for an instant before it was sucked through one of the cracks and vanished, ahead of the explosions that tore the space apart.

I was choking, the sensations that assaulted my nerves much more real than a moment before while I was drifting aimlessly through a sparkling display of blurry scenes and hazy images. I had expected to materialise either in the hall or where ever I had been at that moment in time but I hadn’t crossed over completely, every last strand of the time stream had fought against my passage. I had become stuck halfway through, somewhere between what was and what could have been and my body wasn’t liking it one bit.

Aside from the pressure that was still tearing at my wings, this whole place seemed to have it out for me. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t seem to move and best of all, I felt my blood slowly turning into slush from the immense cold that had bitten into my flesh the very instant I had arrived. In a way it made sense, I was between time and since movement, even heat, needed time it would be cold but that didn’t make it any more bearable. My fingers and tails were already numb and I hadn’t been here for more than a couple of heartbeats. At least the energy from my core was still moving, otherwise I would already have turned into a popsicle. I still had to get out of there, though. Quickly.

With an increasing effort I commandeered my sluggish mind to take up the fight and move my wings. I didn’t know why but somehow my oxygen deprived brain conjured up the image of a tall blonde in a hospital gown who repeatedly said: wiggle your great toe! A task that appeared more and more difficult by the second. With an herculean feat I got back on track, time stream, right.

Maybe I should have asked an additional question or two before I had plunged through a hole in time but ironically it was a little late for that.

The spider had talked about not getting lost and I could only assume that this was what she had meant. Hadn’t she also said that my past would attract me? That would imply that some of the scenes were unrealised possibilities or even future ones and some were from the past, moments in time I had lived through, fixed and unchangeable unless I found a way back. For a second I wondered what this meant for my identity. Was I just me or the sum of the paths, some of which I hadn’t even walked on? Again I had to forcefully focus on my immediate problems.

There was no physically pull, no matter how far I stretched my senses, there was only cold around me and the changing scenes in time. Maybe I had to move through them, similarly to how I had reached this place? Should I just pick one at random? That would probably be a sure way to get stuck in some kind of hell hole for the foreseeable future. Somehow I had to figure out which scene would lead where or rather when I wanted to go but with my brain slowly freezing and the distinct lack of a breathable substance I just couldn’t figure it out. Oh well, before I was going to breath my last in his godforsaken place I’d just have to trust my luck and deal with the consequences once I was out of here.

Against what felt like the weight of the world I moved my wings forward, the silvery energy slithering form scene to scene. Deep down I was still hoping that I’d feel some form of impulse once I touched the right one but again I was disappointed. Every whirl of light I came in contact with just felt similar to the others, a touch of warmth at the edge of my perception. The only thing that varied was the intensity, sometimes the scenes were clear and blazed with heat, sometimes they were fuzzy, barely a warm breeze in the frozen landscape. Everything felt alien like being the last one to enter a room full of people, an intruder for all intent and purposes.

A quiet voice at the back of my mind, nearly drowned under the waves of panic that were coursing through me with every second I remained stuck and suffocating, encouraged me that I was on the right track, if I felt repelled now, then there should also be a scene I’d feel like I belonged and that was where I had to go. It was a pity that I didn’t have enough time to leisurely try one after the other, the slowing beat of my heart and the numbness that crept along my limbs were sure signs that I wouldn’t be able to hold on for much longer. Could that be what Shassa had meant? That I wouldn’t have enough time to search for the right path? I made a decision then and there.

By now I had become quiet proficiency at judging the limits of my body, I had blown them to smithereens more often than not, after all. I’d remain here until I’d feel my consciousness vanishing and then I’d take the first exit I’d have under my wings. If I was lucky, I’d stumble across the right one before then.

I knew that time was an illusion in this place but while my blood was pounding in my ears and the cold attacked my body like a starved beast, it still felt like an eternity had passed before something changed. Just when I was about to accept my defeat and vanish through the next crack in time I came across, a familiar feeling, like the smell of home, tingled at the edge of my awareness. Unable to muster the concentration to study the scene I blindly plunged forward, my wings piercing through the thin membrane that shattered like glass.

Light and warmth flowed through me and I took a deep breath, the stale air of an underground room that hadn’t been touched for aeons sweeter than a fresh spring breeze in the mountains. Shivering I collapsed to the floor, the returning feeling in my limbs gradually turning from a pleasant tickle to the painful sensation of pins and needles while I heaved in large lungs full of air and the first tendrils of a migraine started to squeeze my brain. For several minutes I simply breathed, in and out, and allowed my body to adjust to the myriad of sensations reality provided me with. Rough stone against my cheek, the smell of old dust, soaked rags that covered my skin and the loud echo my breath caused in a huge, empty cavern.

After a minute or two I felt confident enough to open my eyes and raise my head. A withered leg, covered in chitinous skin laid motionless less than an arm’s length away and when my gaze travelled along the prone from it belonged to, I knew that I had made it. I was back in the hall, Shassa’s ravaged body close enough to touch it but what gave me the creeps were her open eyes, sunken and glazed over with pain and desperation they stared at me like the pits of hell itself. Ah well, I already knew that she’d be a bitch to deal with but seeing the imposing spider I had met reduced to nothing more than a ball of hatred that clung to life out of pure spite still made me pity her. No one deserved to end like this. Hopefully she’d get the chance to write a few more chapters on her own but that had to wait.

Carefully I reached for Ahri, I didn’t want to actually contact her, just to make sure that she was still there and in one piece. A bright smile appeared on my face when I felt her unmistakable presence and it became even wider when I realised just how pissed she was. It took most of my concentration to keep her out, she was looking for me and she wanted some answers, now. Frowning I tried to figure out how I had gotten here, or rather, where I had been before. It was strange, my memories were clear up until the moment when I had fallen asleep at Reia’s side. Everything that had happened afterwards was fuzzy. I still remembered the tomb and Shassa, but I couldn’t pinpoint details up until the moment I had met the spider in my dreams. I could recall the time I had spent somewhere in between and the images I had seen behind the web Shassa had shown me, even the feeling of suffocation and the unbelievable cold remained vivid in my mind. In a way it felt as if I had met Shassa when I had fallen sleep in the infirmary and opened my eyes just a few seconds ago. That would also explain Ahri’s temper and confusion, I had probably vanished in the middle of a lively camp without a trace. She knew I was fine, she could feel me through the tattoo after all, but she obviously didn’t know where I was and I intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. She’d insist on coming down here and as long as the seed was still active I didn’t want her even close to it. Which brought me back to why I had risked my very existence to get here.

I massaged my legs and curled my tails until the last traces of the cold were gone. With a groan I scrambled to my feet and waited with closed eyes for the short bout of vertigo to subside. After a few moments I managed to look around. It was definitely the same hall with the same grotesque statue and its prey but luckily the hordes of enemies we had had to face before were nowhere to be seen. I could only assume that the defences hadn’t been triggered by my sudden appearance which would also explain why the spidery corpse was staring at me intensely. She was still conscious, the pulse of energy that had rendered her insensible hadn’t happened, yet.

“Oh my, fancy meeting you here,” I murmured while I sashayed my way over to her and crouched in front of her head. It wasn’t a pretty sight, her black carapace was cracked were the statue pinned her to the ground and a faint odour like rotten vegetables rose from her body. The poison on her mandibles and her spinnerets had dried up long ago, dark discolourations the only sign that remained of the liquids. Up close I was truly astonished that she had remained alive despite the eight massive holes the legs of the statue had punched through her body but she still managed to focus her eyes on me with insatiable hunger. If she hadn’t been pinned, I’d have feared for my life.

“Now then, shall we begin?” I asked the emaciated spider. I still remembered Shassa’s warnings vividly but I thought that pulling her legs out one by one was probably not going to do much, considering what she had been through. First I’d try what I usually did if I wasn’t attacked, talk.

“While you’re resting comfortably allow me to introduce myself.” I straightened, curtsied and smiled at her brightly. “My name is Cassandra Pendragon, a newly born immortal and I’m here to offer you a choice. Cheesy as it may sound, I need your help and you’re going to grant it. You can decide how much you’re going to annoy me in the process. Why don’t you contemplate how much you want to spite me while I check how hard it’s going to be to break you free? Oh, one more thing. The seed that’s feasting on your energy will activate soon and start to wreak havoc with the time stream. It’s not the first time we’re having this conversation but this time around I won’t allow you to screw me over, I’ve had quite enough of that, thank you very much.” That was a blatant lie but I thought it might give her a moment’s pause if she thought I had already lived through some of her shenanigans.

A little intimidation might also be called for, though, so I decided to put on a show while I examined the statue. I channeled enough energy into my wings to turn them into blazing torrents of light that cut through the air with a deep, thrumming sound. My eyes began to glow with an abundance of power and the deep shadows in the hall scurried away from me to hide in dark corners I couldn’t reach. My skin was radiating a faint light and silver shimmered through the gashes in my shirt while I slowly rose into the air, tails fanned out. Another mental push made my hair float around me like a charged, silky black curtain and when I raised my hands theatrically I thought I looked rather impressive.

The spark of uncertainty that appeared in the depth of Shassa’s eyes below the silvery reflections was all the confirmation I needed for the moment.