An angel’s road to hell

80. Of personalities, identities and a little bit of revelation

Cassandra Pendragon

The first warmth of a new day carried away our grief and worries and left behind a tranquil companion ship while we allowed the beautiful colours the fresh light cast on the seas below and the clouds above to sooth us. As an old poet I had been quite fond of in my previous life had written: the morning steals upon the night, melting the darkness from your heart. A bit cheesy but when I took in the red and yellow streaks across the horizon that painted the underside of the looming clouds purple with shades of white, black and grey I thought I understood what he had meant. A new day always brought hope to those that were ready to seize it. Carpe diem and some such.

“How long do you think we’ll still be in the air until we reach the island?” I asked Viyara.

“Not much longer, we should be able to see it pretty soon. We’ve been going for over 5 hours. Why don’t you try to contact Ahri again? Maybe she’s awake. I’ll talk to Erya, she’s been trying to reach me after Pete fell asleep but I blocked her out. Oh, and thank you, again. One of these days I really have to find a way to make it up to you.” I rubbed her scales gently, the best I could with how big her head was.

“There’s no need. Maybe refrain from further massacres in the future? That’d be much appreciated.” She snorted and the cloud of smoke that rose from her snout made me cough.

“I’ll see what I can do. No promises, though. I’m still a dragon, after all, aren’t I? Spontaneous killing sprees are part of our charm, or at least that’s why I’ve heard.” I had to laugh and promptly inhaled another batch of smoke. “Why are you laughing?” She had been completely serious. Charm had probably a different meaning for apex predators than it had for the rest of us.

“Nothing much, I never thought about it that way. But I guess the power to do as you want can be alluring to some, it’s just not my cup of tea, that’s all.” She was surprised.

“So you don’t mind? I expected you to be all on the “every life is sacred track”. At least that was the impression I got from your memories.” I had to think about that for a minute.

“No, not exactly. I think people make their own rules, if murder is part of the game it’ll be stupid to walk around like a goody two shoes. If you join a pirate ship or become a soldier or mercenary you’ll alway throw your life into the balance. Doesn’t mean I’d kill them without provocation but if it happens I won’t cry over spilled milk. I guess the best example would be an army that’s attacking. While most of them are likely pressed into service and innocent in a way, I’d never just bow down to not have to kill them, if that makes any sense. Or, in regards to the pirates you have slain, they made their beds when they joined their captains, even though I expect most of them to be closer to Pete in attitude than ruthless killers. Still sucks if you ask me, but that’s the way this world works. Doesn’t mean I find it attractive, though.” She pondered my words for a while.

“What do you find attractive, then?”

“That’s your question after my monologue? Hmm, let me see. The same as most I’d say, grace, poise, even a little naivety. Inner strength and an indomitable will but mostly passion. Honestly, though, it’s a difficult question. The same thing that attracts me to some could repel me with others. I guess it mostly depends on the circumstances and person, you know, how you get to know someone, what you experienced with them and how it felt. What about you?”

“I can’t really say. Most people I’ve met were either a part of my family or servants. I’ve heard stories, of course, but… you were the first stranger I have truly spent time with and I do like you but I don’t think that’s the same, given what has happened to us. That’s why I asked.” I chuckled softly.

“Viyara, you have to experience some things for yourself, you can’t learn them from others. Who knows, maybe we’ll run across a dragon as pretty as yourself in the future who isn’t dead set on ripping us apart. I’d bet that would answer more of your questions than I ever could. I’m pretty sure that you’re overthinking this a little.” Somehow I had the feeling that she was blushing.

“That’s… that’s not what I meant. Anyways, Erya is calling again. Want to join the conversation?” Was she trying to change the topic? I couldn’t quite interpret what I felt through our connection but Erya’s faint present was definitely swirling around Viyara’s mind so I let it go.

“I’ll do as you said and try to reach Ahri. If something important comes up, will you tell me later?”

“Sure, good luck.” Her thoughts drifted away but I still felt her at the edge of my mind, our connection never truly severed after my promise to her.

I turned my concentration towards the tattoo and gingerly tried to send a sliver of my awareness through. Ahri wasn’t asleep anymore, that much I knew in an instant. Exhaustion, weariness and anger were permeating her mind but as soon as she felt my touch I heard her voice and that alone made me smile. “Cassandra? Are you alright? It’s good to hear your thoughts but I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“Why, what’s happening? I’m fine, we’re close to you, I think. Are you still on the same Island Viyara sent you to?”

“Yes, but we’re not alone. Three ships full of pirates have arrived as well as the dwarfs. We’re in the middle of negotiations, rather violent ones, they have some nasty, pale mages onboard. How long will it take for you to get here?”

“Not long, maybe an hour, maybe a little less, I’d say. How are you holding up? Is there something I can do?”

“Hurry, my love. We could use your help and that of the dragon but the dwarfs are giving them a run for their money, at least for now. Your family is unhurt as far as I know and the kids are mostly fine, a few were injured but nothing too serious. You don’t seem surprised, though. Did you expect an attack?”

“In a way. I’ll tell you all about it when we meet in person. And what about you? Can you even fight?”

“Not as good as I would like, but it’ll suffice. I can use my wings and my swords, that’s enough.”

“If you say so. Please be careful and don’t do anything rash. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you.” A jolt of happiness ran through me when I uttered the words but I couldn’t tell if it was coming from her or me.

“I will and I won’t, I’m not going to risk my neck when you’re not there to appropriately admire me. Love you, too.” I struggled to sever the connection, the quick exchange had made me realise just how much I missed her, even though we hadn’t been separated for more than a day. I ached for her company but soon I’d see her again. And may the gods have mercy on everyone that stood between us. With an effort I left the warmth she filled me with behind and focused back on reality.

Judging from the buzzing that filled Viyara’s mind, she and Erya were still conversing. Sighing I stood up and stretched, popping my back. I wasn’t looking forward to telling them we were headed straight for the next conflict. I unclamped my cloak and wrung most of the water from it, the tiny rivulets reflected the morning sun while they ran over Viyara’s scales and turned into streams of liquid diamonds, each drop shining with an inner light against the gold of her body. I admired the scene for a moment and relished in the feeling of cool air, brushing along my body before I donned my cloak again. The damp cloth made me shiver when it slid across my skin and, with a smirk, I wondered when I had gone from canopy beds and dresses to dragon backs and wet rags.

Energetically I reached for Viyara’s mind and joined the conversation just as Erya was saying:

“… asleep or even unconscious. If we don’t wake him, he’ll stay that way, I’d say. Humans are quite fragile, it seems. And he smells, honestly, I don’t know how you can bear having him on your back, filthy as he is. I wouldn’t even want to sit downwind from him. Ah, hello beautiful. Found out anything interesting?”

“Could you not… never mind. I did. Remember what you overheard? That they sent some pirates after the kids and after my family and the dwarfs as well? Three ships have reached the island where they came down, from the looks of it I’d say those are the ones that have been sent after Ahri and the children. The second batch is probably still on its way. At the moment they are fine, the dwarfs have already arrived and they can keep them at bay for now. I fear what will happen if the pirates receive reinforcement, though. Viyara, is there any chance that you could fly faster? Would it help if you didn’t have to carry Erya and me? The sooner we get there the better.”

“Unfortunately, no. My ruff allows me to stay in the air but my movement is mostly magic. A little weight doesn’t change much. Maybe you could fly ahead? Are you faster on your own?” I looked around and tried to gauge our speed without a fixed point to focus on.

“I don’t think so. Not by much anyways and given that I’ve never been to the island we’re heading for I might as well just miss it on my own. My sense of directions isn’t that great. I also don’t want to split up. With our luck we’ll just run into the other pirate ships on our way and I’d much prefer to face them together. Which reminds me, could one of you cast a spell that would alert us to their presence?” It was Erya who answered:

“Nothing that would cover a wider range than what we can see for with our eyes. A ship will be visible for many kilometres in the sky and considering how good your and Viyara’s sight is there’s no way my magic could reach further.  We should rely on old fashioned look outs in my opinion.”

“She’s right,” Viyara added. “But I have to wonder, do we even want to encounter them before we reach your friends? Depending on their equipment and the amount of ships we’ll be in real trouble if they decide to shoot at us directly. Wouldn’t it be better to stay out of sight or at least range anyways? If there are one or two ships I won’t mind our chances but if there are more…”

“I think your selling yourself and us, for that matter, short,” Erya interjected with a huff. “I’d be surprised if we had any real trouble dealing with a bunch of pirate ships. The ones who captured you were probably much better prepared and equipped than the group we’ll encounter. They were spontaneously sent out to seize a single ship, after all. No, I’m more worried about them actually uniting, remember, they most likely also have groups of acolytes on board. Depending on how fanatic they are and what they can do, they could become a serious problem if they were together. While you two were behaving like lunatics last night I talked to Pete and from what… ah. He’s stirring awake. Maybe it’d be for the best if he told you himself. Give us a moment and we’ll be right there.” She withdrew her mind and I could here her soft voice and Pete’s deeper replies even over the rushing wind of our passage. I didn’t bother listening in, though, there was something else on my mind.

“Viyara, are you afraid of the pirates?” “Of course not. Why would you even ask?”

“Because… well, after what you did on the “Old Roger” and considering what you said a minute ago about draconic charms I expected you to jump at another chance for battle. I guess I simply didn’t expect you to be the voice of caution and I’m wondering why that is.” A spark of irritation flared across our connection but she stifled it quickly and actually thought about what I had said.

“You’re right, in a way. I don’t fear the fight, actually I’m looking forward to it. As far as I’m concerned they all deserve to burn and I’d be more than willing to provide the necessary flames, at least part of me does. But… I know it’s stupid but I’m afraid that something might happen to you, or even Erya for that matter. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last days it’s that no matter who you are, death always comes for you. I’m afraid of being alone, left behind in a world that obviously doesn’t care for me. I’m not just a dragon and the other part of me wants, no, needs, someone to hold on to. Does that make me a coward?”

“Far from it. That makes you a living being. But there’s only so much you can control. If I had my way, we wouldn’t have to deal with pirates or battles at all, but that’s not going to happen. I have to help my people as much as I can, even though it may cost me my life or the life of someone I cherish. As you said, bad things happen but the risk shouldn’t stop you from doing what you think is right, that would be cowardly. So, unless you intend to turn your back on everyone and everything, I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to that particular fear. As long as you allow others to be part of your life you’ll always be in danger of losing them again, be it in a fight or simply due to bad luck. But for what it’s worth, I think Erya and I are rather difficult to get rid of.”

“So, you’re basically saying suck it up?” I had to laugh at that, she was spot on.

“I’m afraid so. It’s a part of growing up, I guess. Some things you just have to learn how to deal with. Admittedly, I think everybody would be shaken to the core after what you went through. It’ll get easier with time but running from one bloodthirsty adversary to the next can’t be helpful. With a little luck this will be the last conflict for a while, though. We could all do with a little time to get our feet back under us. But for now we still have a bunch of pirates to deal with.”

She was silent for a bit. After she had sorted through what I had said she asked more calmly:

“Could you.. could you tell me who you are? The bond we’re sharing and how it changes me… the way you talk sometimes… I saw some of your memories but they don’t make any sense. You said you’re a kitsune but that can’t be all. Admittedly, you got the tails and looks to prove it but how can you know all this? Why aren’t you struggling the same way I am? What happened in your past that you’re so… wise?” It was my turn to remain silent but because I heard Erya and Pete approaching and I didn’t want to let her question go unanswered I hesitantly told her a small part of the truth:

“This isn’t my first life and I’m only slowly starting to understand who I truly am. A part of me is old, ancient even. I can’t remember most of my previous life but I still carry the lessons I learned with me, at least in part, and that helps a lot. For better or for worse, I’m more than just a kitsune. If you want I’ll talk to Ahri when we reach her, if she agrees I’ll tell you the whole story but since parts of it are hers I won’t do so without her say so. Can you live with that?”

“Thank you, I already imagined something along those lines after what Mephisto said back in the hoard but I want to understand who you are and that’s difficult without knowing where you’re coming from.” I stroked her scales comfortingly just as the sour smell of an unwashed human reached me. Pete and Erya had climbed along Viyara’s back and settled down at the base of her neck, a little too close for my sensitive nose. I felt their minds link to Viyara’s and once again the echos of foreign thoughts reached me through her. Surprisingly it was Pete who spoke up first:

“Thank you all, thank you for freeing me from that hell. Erya told me a little about where we’re headed and I’ll do everything I can to help. It might not mean much, considering one of you is an ancient fey and one a golden dragon, who ate my shipmates, but you have my eternal gratitude.”

“Whom are you calling ancient, whelp?” Erya grumped indignantly.