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2022-02-24 18:59:14I still feel very normal, though I needed a few days to adjust.
There still was the headache but hey, there's nothing I can do about it.I'm OP but insane, gotta take the good with the bad, right?
Sitting in the town’s park, enjoying the rays, things don’t seem all that different from just a week ago.
Faye?
...
Faye, you in here?
...
Huh, no answer.
Give her a bit of time, Asher, that's just how she is.
I waited, one minute, two minutes, still no answer.
That’s unusual.
I stood up and called to her again as loud as I could mentally.
FAYE.
...
God damn, where is that lady at.
“Are you calling me?” I heard behind me.
I flinched and turned around, “shit, you scared me.”
There was a small woman sitting on a bench.
I knew her face and her hair though there was something different.
Animal ears and a tail.
“A fox-girl?” I looked her up closer, “Faye, is that you? What are you doing outside in the really real world?”
"I decided to leave since it was getting too noisy. However, I still have to take care of you, so I assumed a physical shape.
I picked one of the races in this world's appearance to imitate."“Well, that’s nice and all but here are the serious questions. Are they real? The ears and tail?”
“No, this whole body is a construct of my own design,” she said dismissively.
I picked up her small body from the bench and turned her around.
She was silent but I knew she was getting really angry but I still had to do it.
I put her down then grabbed her tail firmly and pulled on it lightly to see if it actually was real, which it seemed like it was.
Even If it wasn’t real, it had really good craftsmanship.
Faye reached her boiling point and in the most angry tone she ever gotten with me, which was just a slightly sterner version of how she usually sounded, she said, “do not touch me again. It will be for your own good,” then pulled the tail away.
“But I wanna!” I tried grabbing it again.
I was shocked, in a literal sense, I was shocked so much in fact that I was knocked down.
Coughing up blood I stood up. I have millions of HP, how much damage was that to have hurt me like that?
“Are you even allowed to hurt your ward? Isn’t that against your mission?” I asked her, with genuine interest.
“You hurt yourself. I can’t stop you from doing that. I did warn you, did I not?”
"True. Fine, fine. I should have respected your boundaries, blah, blah, blah, whatever. I hereby solemnly swear, never again will I touch you.”
I took another seat on the bench.
You never know, maybe I’ll try once more in the future.
I sighed.
Now, I could finally begin my journey.
Though… I had a shit ton XP to get some new skills.
I could, for good measure, get a few, couldn’t I?
I opened up the skill menu and pressed directly on the randomize button
[Skill Transfer]
Well, well now. I hope it’s different from what its name implies.
"Faye, if you will. Show me the details."
“[Skill Transfer]
The user of this skill can transfer any of his skills onto another person.This ability has no cool-down.”Useless, who would I even give skills to?
How about another one.
[Analyze]
Huh, another bad one.
“[Analyze]
This skill lets the user analyze any used skill which was casted in their proximity for 5 Minutes.It will show the details of the skill.Description, Cool-down, HP/MP/SP Usage, Strengths, and Weaknesses.This ability has a 20-minute cool-down.”
This is basically a worse version of what Faye can do.
“Faye, can you try to click on randomize once, please? For me?”
I tried forcing her finger on the button against her will, was shocked, but succeeded in my endeavor, though even when her finger touched it nothing happened.
I guess other people can’t interact with other people's menus.
Or Faye’s special status prevented it from working.
[Hanging Tree]
“[Hanging Tree]When this skill is activated the target’s psyche is attacked. They will be imprisoned in an illusory world until they are hung on a noose by a tree.Sucking out 20% max HP, 50% max MP and 90% max SP.Can only be used when surrounded by trees.This ability has a one-week cool-down period.”Damn, this shit is broken.
Only when surrounded by trees, eh?
That doesn’t even balance it out that much, there are trees everywhere.
But it does get a long ass cool-down.I rolled again and I remembered back in my previous life I had a little problem when it came to gacha and forced myself to only do it another time and then let it be.
[Counter Spell]
“[Counter Spell]
The user of this skill will receive the exact opposite spell the enemy target is using.The Cool-down of this ability is depended on the given spell.”[Counterspell]“[Counterspell]
Counterspell nullifies the enemy's next spell.This can be used twice per fight.”Alright, now it is time to have an adventure.
"Faye, if you will, my stats!"
[Asher Burell][LVL. Human Man]-[[HP 67164323/67164323 │ MP 59140387/59140387 │ SP 48537123/48537123]]-[[???]]-[[Buff X][Body Skills] [Mental Skills]] -[[Power Beam] [Second Chance] [The Wall] [Blink] [Execute] [Pocket Dimension] [Skill Transfer] [Analyze] [Hanging Tree] [Counter Spell] [Counterspell]]-[[]]-[[Insanity]]-“What happened to my stats and skill levels?” I asked.
“I turned them off. It should help the system, and your mind, to cope with the enormous amount of calculations and notifications they have to deal with,” she explained.
“Neat. That's the first nice thing you've ever done for me. I see real character growth.”
Good! Now, off to adventure, wherever it may lead me!
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Asher the Insane 08 - Asher the OC
I was on my way to the adventurers guild to sign up as any isekai protagonist would. I was already an adult so I couldn't go to school here anymore, so no academy stories in this book. Sorry! Either way, this is the best way to get started on my journey. An important question was: What kind of persona should I take? I didn’t have a gun, yet, so my options on the edgy side were a bit limited. But I did have a katana, that was a good start, now, just a trench-coat and my destiny will be fulfilled. But in all seriousness, should I be the Edgy Lone Wolf? I kind of liked being around other people and of course I loved to talk my heart out. Seems like that was something new to me. In the old world I would barely speak a word to anyone, in real life, online I wrote paragraphs worth of stuff if I could talk about it. There were other options. For example: The cocky brat. Nah.Dumb Shounen Protagonist. No way, I ain't THAT stupid.The Pervert? No. I looked at the sword and contem
Asher the Insane 09 - Asher the Already Different
I yawned loudly. It was another beautiful day and the adventurer business was booming. I’ve done a few quests already and had gotten a nice sum of money from them. There were a few opportunities where I could test out some of the new skills I learned. On one mission, where I had to kill a few acid-spitting toads, I used one, which was called [Inside Out], and to my horror, it literally did what it was called. But I was the dumb one for using it, the spell did exactly as advertised. Another quest was saving a cat from a tree.I could climb it normally but no instead I used another spell in my repertoire. [Steps] It build a magic staircase wherever I wanted one. The only limitation was that it had to touch the ground somehow and that every step I took I had to spend more mana, but in addition to my insanely high stats, the skill has leveled up so much that I could basically walk up to the clouds and back. The quest I found the strangest was traveling ten-thousand kilometers whi
Asher the Insane 10 - Asher the Independent Actor
After completing a lame extermination quest successfully, and having already went to collect the reward in the Adventurers Guild, I was simply minding my own business, walking down a road I have never been to yet, then, in the distance, I noticed a large group of people marching in unison. Were they soldiers? Mercenaries? Maybe a traveling caravan? I ran to catch up to them. Faye, as usual nowhere to be seen unless I called to her, and usually, 'walking' or 'running' was not something she did, instead she hovered and no matter how fast I was she always kept up with me. Recently, I roamed the world so frequently and for so long that I was unsure of which country I was in at this time. In general, I didn’t know anything about the countries or kingdoms of this world. It wasn't like I purposefully didn’t listen but I also didn't actively seek out any knowledge of this world. Well, now I could learn something. At the end of the giant march, I started talking with the last guy in the
Asher the Insane 11 - Asher the Talkative
There he was, the general. His name was Ray Netley. From head to toe he was covered in very fancy armor. At first I thought that it must have been decorative, no actual armor would look like that, but then I realized, those could have been magic engravings or something like that. I had no knowledge of the reality of armor in this world, for all I knew it could have been the most practical armor in the whole multi-verse. As a man of the 'General' class I thought that he must have a high level but, to my disappointment, he was only level 48. Was 48 considered very high? I can't seem to remember. I wondered where, or even if, I could find really high leveled people, over 100 at least. “Hi there, General,” I said to Ray, he rode on a very tall horse, which was walking very slowly to meet the speed of the marching soldiers behind him, “a very nice elf-ish man told me that I should talk to you.” “Oh, who did, and who are you?” He said, relaxing the grip of his horse's reigns. “It
Asher the Insane 12 - Asher the Disruptor
High up, in the sky, I was sitting on the air with my legs crossed, next to me was Faye, sitting in a much more lady-like fashion. Here, so far removed from anyone I wondered what she might be thinking about. "Faye, do you miss Alexandra?" I asked sincerely. At first she was silent, as she was usually, but then answered, "I do." The conversation ended there. She didn't say anything more and I didn't want to pry. That was good enough for me, and somewhere deep, I hoped it was the same for her. Unless she had some kind of mind reading ability I was sure that even she was curious about what I was about to do. Far below us, the armies of Kathe and Landsfor were preparing for a fight. Not an all out fight, mind you, but more of a ceremonial one, to show strength and honor the traditions. Well, they were in for a big surprise this year. Standing up, I walked a bit down from the air so they could see me better. I used [Amplify Voice] to yell down at them. Everyone suddenly stoppe
Asher the Insane 13 - Asher the Overleveled
"I do not care who you are but this is not the time for... whatever it is you are doing," the pretty boy king said, "proclaim yourself before me, lunatic, or my men will send you to hell where you belong." "Oh yeah? I already told you who I am, remember? I said that as loud and clear as I could,” then I mumbled to myself, "I did activate [Amplify Voice], didn't I? …Maybe I forgot?" "Enough of this, I give you one last chance," he warned me. "Calm down, Mister Righteous. Let me first consult with my companion here." I looked around for Faye, of course when I came down from the sky she must have followed me. What else would she do? Stay up there? No way, she was too good at her job, or rather, she wanted to do as best as Alexandra would want her to do it. She was kind of a simp for her goddess. But it would be funny to think that Faye, of all beings in the universe, would get fed up with my human antics and just leave. But she was too possessed by the idea of doing a good job to
Asher the Insane 14 - Asher the Clichéd
“For who doth thou think thou art to disrupt a venerated battle such as this?” The old mage asked. Of course, the first powerful person I meet in a world like this is an old man. He does look pretty fly, with a silky robe and a pointy hat. I wonder, does he have muscle under his robe? He was a mage, that usually meant that, physically, he was weak but anime logic demanded that he was buff. “The King has delivered you into mine hand to strike you down and I will send your head into his bosom. I will do this thing before all of the kingdoms and beneath the heavens. Wherefore hast thou despised the commandments of the king to do evil right before his sight? Thou hast stricken and killed in unlawful fury and hast taken up sword against the kingdom for thoued own.Now for the sword shall never depart from thine house.” Jeez, this guy was pretty intense. I imagined more of a kooky kind of old man mage. Right this moment, I couldn't think of any examples of specifically kooky old man m
Asher the Insane 15 - Asher the Thinker
Leoren readied himself. He casted a very fancy-looking spell, which didn’t seem to actually do anything but then, like a bullet; not that they have bullets in this world; sprinted towards me. He was surprisingly fast, not just for an old man. The spell he used must have been a speed buff or something in that direction. There was still a great distance between us and in the seconds it took him to get to me, Faye asked, “are you not interested in his statistics?” “No,” I turned to her, "...but do you think he's over level one-hundred?-" I pinched myself. If I asked her she’ll answer, "no, bad Asher.” I scolded myself. “Don't tell me, Faye. I want it to be a surprise." I didn’t know if Leoren had an ability similar to [Analyze]. I produced some hand signs. “Hitsuji, Mi, Tora.” He came to a sudden halt and jumped back. It didn't seem like he knew what I was going to cast at all. He just waited to see what I would do. If he had even the slightest idea what I was about to use,
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
- Asher the Insane
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
- Asher the Insane
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door