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Asher the Insane 21 - Aini the Cell Mate
He was strange, but calling him strange was the least I could say. But other words I could come up with still didn't fit exactly right. Words like 'eccentric', 'odd', or 'bizarre', did not do his manner justice. "What are you waiting for, Asher? I witnessed you tear steel with your bare hands. Why are you still in this miserable cell? Let us go out, free, and liberate our fellow man." I demanded of him, but first, there was just one query: "How did they even manage to capture you?" I braced myself for once again another flood of gibberish from him as he started, "Well, I let myself get captured on purpose," he said. I said "Why?" in disbelief, not just to him, but in general. "Gods forbid, why would you ever do that? What's wrong with you? Who or what gave you the notion that it would be wise to allow oneself to be taken captive?" "It doesn't matter," I said after a little period of silence, during which I let the shock pass. "You wouldn't get very far even with that wondrous might
Asher the Insane 22 - Baohu the Watcher
Even when looks deceive, this place was full of filth and grime.Although it seemed to be an old opera house, some of the most heinous underworld rituals were still being performed right as I stood here. I was perching on the edge of a box seat to see the other guests from above.Rich people and members of mysterious cabals lurked, gleefully waiting to exchange one person's life for their dirty money. I was there for one of them as well, but I wasn't there to take that life for myself; I was here to save it. Even though I'm getting on in years, my espionage abilities were still as sharp as they were when I was younger, so tracking these auctions wasn't difficult. The young guards I followed, who weren't all that cautious since one of them just couldn't control his mouth, were also of assistance. Inexperience does pay off for some. I don't believe I would be the subject of any suspicion. This auction was already so secretive that even just knowing where it would be held and havin
Asher the Insane 23 - Baohu the Protector
The old man with the opera mask next to me burst and his blood flew all around, splattering everyone except the violet-haired woman on the stage. She was completely untouched, even though she should have been covered the most. The man's face was the only thing that was unharmed. It was not twisted in pain, and it didn't appear as though suffering but rather astonishment marked his final moments. I knew who he was. Noufu, a governor and high-ranking member of the state. "Jesus Christ," the horse-man yelled, spitting out blood he had gotten in his mouth and losing the grace of his words as he had them before, "What the fuck, Faye." He cleaned off a few more chunks of flesh from his face but he did not seem very affected by it, just slightly annoyed, "you could have warned me and, to me, it looks like you traumatized some of the attendees. Imagine, THIS is what the characters in Gantz must have felt like and I must admit this feels a bit weird, seeing someone blow up. And there's no
Asher the Insane 24 - Asher the Ex-Slave
The underground of the 'Underground' was a real labyrinth. My cell and a few other areas were familiar to me from my prior imprisonment, but, ugh, I can't seem to navigate myself around in this place at all. I get twisted up from just taking two wrong turns and then ending up somewhere I didn’t expect to be. Maybe I just have a bad memory? It feels like I was kind of getting forgetful these past couple of months. How many people were imprisoned here, I wonder? I have no trouble picturing a few hundred. We had a fair range of slaves here, quite a broad selection, so at least the slavers weren't overly prejudiced about whom to take as a slave. Every form of beast race, young or old, elf or dwarf, all the demi’s, and everything in between. I painstakingly opened up every cell single-handedly, just ripping up the cell bars or doors to make openings big enough for even the most rotund to squeeze through. Some of the liberated slaves came to help me release others. Even if they took
Asher the Insane 25 - The Gods in their Realm
Years after the Goddess of Redemption and Vindication Alexandra gave a young man named Cyrus a second chance at life, a group of gods had gathered as they were interested in learning more about the mortal's activities, now going by the name Asher Burell. They assembled around a big tablet that resembled a mirror in the Hall of History and, each at their own pace, scanned over the brief period of time that two decades were for the gods. Of course, several gods were taken aback, if only by the slightest margins, since the mortal Asher was, in fact, a very peculiar man. One of the most powerful gods, Therogrum, the God of War, Struggle, Conflict, and Honor, sat down on a throne that he created out of thin air. His ancient battle-weary armor, which was covered with scratches and chinks, clanged loudly enough to be heard throughout all the Halls of History.Alexandra, whose standing height did not quite reach his knees while seated, caught his attention as he gazed down at her from behin
Asher the Insane 26 - Urien the God of Death
“Vipers, I call you, all of you," he hissed, "do you not see the misery you subject them to? Let these souls withdraw from their vessels. Those who are manifestations of despair and let them be.” There were four gods who had spoken out already, but now that the fifth had arrived, silence fell. None had noticed him, he who was lurking in the shadow, one who had seen all already. He hated their happiness, the joy they felt recollecting past events. He who had only seen sorrow and gloom. Out he came, interrupting and dispersing the glee that had built up. Urien, the God of Death, Sorrow, Misery, and Despair. Tall he was, though skeletal like, but one could see the strength that he bore. Long hair covered his sad face, hiding the misery and anger he always lived in. It was as dark as the sunless sky and his clothing, which was bespeckled with golden trinkets made from the remnants of dying stars. On his shoulder sat a raven. Kavir he was called. He was to Urien, as Faye was to
Asher the Insane 27 - Asher the Gladiator
I miss being a horse-man. The day after I left the slave-holdings, I was changed yet again. Faye thought it was a good thing. News of a horse-man and fox-woman who freed a lot of slaves in the country of Alaran as spreading quickly, and anyone who’d be looking for them wouldn’t be looking for who I was now which was just the average human guy. Slightly on the slimmer side with short, dark hair. The rest was average. Average, average, average, recently I began hating that word. It sucked, and I thought the way I looked now sucked too. When do I stop looking like your typical Shinji’s, Kirito’s, Kyon’s, and Oreki’s and start looking like a Kenshiro, Baki, Guts, or even any Jojo. ...Well, maybe not any. We could cap it at Part 4, actually. Araki’s style really changed over the years, never really went back to the ultra manly designs. Even Gappy was too… uh, ‘new araki’ for me. Flamboyant to say the least, but all of the characters did have interesting designs, at least
Asher the Insane 28 - Asher the Girl
As I woke up this morning, I could feel that something was different. It was a strange feeling, almost like something had been taken away from me. It wasn't until I sat up in my bed at the inn, that I realized what it was. Something that was very important to me was gone. And as I sat there in silence, I agonized over the realization. I couldn't believe that it was gone. "Faye, wherever you are, you better move your ass here right now," I said with great woe, as serious as I could. "What is it?" She said as she appeared, as usual, out of nowhere. "Once again I ask you, do you know who I am?" "You are the mortal Cyrus, who I ward over and have been in this world for 18 years, eleven months, three days, fourteen hours, thirty-five minutes, and fifty-seven seconds." "That's interesting. Has there been a defining trait for that mortal? Anything so fundamental to his nature that he didn't even think about it?" I asked. "No." "Did you ever happen to notice that I was a man? With cock
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- Asher the Insane
My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
- Asher the Insane
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
- Asher the Insane
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
