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Asher the Insane 48 - Aebshem the Humouring
“Oh, boohoo Orochimaru. Wait, that was supposed to be sad, right? You’re sad? You're the boy and the man in the story, right? Like the new person, slash, creature, which came from the union of two beings, blah, blah, blah. Or have I got this wrong?” an old voice rang. “Who is that?” I looked around. There was a small, gray-haired woman, standing in the middle of the dimly lit room. “Hello,” she waved with her old hand, “name's Asher, but you can call me Miss Burell. Sadly, I was never married, so no Misses Burell, which I think sounds better.” "And how did you get here, Miss Burell?" I humored her. This may be the last day of her old life. "A priest send me, or rather, I sent myself to save these assholes." "...The priest sent you?" After hearing that, I laughed heartily while shedding happy tears. She started over, "I then reflected, ‘Well, they don't necessarily have to fail simply because they don't have the five-man party exactly right or the anime trio.’ Maybe it's a
Asher the Insane 49 - Mine the Outraged
"WHAT?" I yelled at the elderly woman, attempting to break free of my bonds, but even if I succeeded, innumerous cult members would be there to put me right back in my restraints or in the worst case scenario, slit my throat or shot me to death the instant I got free. "Then why are you here?" I continued to yell at her. She answered with a kind grin, "I simply want to see what happens.” It infuriated me, making me reevaluate whether I should even try to flee. "Then let us begin," Aebshem announced, getting up and walking closer to us, "after all the hardship you faced today, faced all your life, a goddess would be a sight for sore eyes, would you not agree, Mine?" He knelt beside me. Thoughts of hitting him or spitting on his shoes briefly crossed my mind, but even quicker abandoned them, just as I had done with the idea of running away. Also, what was the old woman even doing here? She claimed to have been sent by a priest. Was Diringer who she meant? It couldn't have been anyo
Asher the Insane 50 - The Parties Preparation
As the shackles were removed from our party members, some were happier than others and some of them reacted more violently than others. Thakin started shouting in old dwarfish, swearing, and attempting to instigate a fight. It was best if no one understood him, or at the very least, if they pretended not to. But despite being free, nobody was content. Yam could not fully comprehend what was taking place. In his mind, a little fighting started, and then there was none to be had anymore. He was subjected to chains before they were removed. He decided that it would be better to wait until Mine gave him a command, the same as it was since the moment he had met the human. Yam respected Mine for his strength even though he was human. While Mine was physically weaker than Yam, Yam knew that Mine was a war commander. Also, in orc society, being picked to lead them implied that you were among the strongest. Yam hoped that the next order Mine gave him was to engage in battle with the littl
Asher the Insane 51 - Alexandra the Intervening Goddess of Redemption Part 01
I was once again observing Cyrus, my chosen.I suppose I need to start addressing him by his new name. It has already been a considerable period of time for mortals. Two decades. So short a time, but for most of them... Everything they would be or were could have changed in such a short time. His previous memories of living alone and in perpetual gloom felt so sad when he looked back on them, but things had changed so much since he entered this new world. He appeared happy, happier than he was before, but still... his heart did not feel so different. Something inside him was amiss. He even sent Faye away a few human months ago. He was going through a change. Since then, I have been taking care of her once again, as it had always been. From the moment of her creation, she harbored ill feelings against mortals.It was not something I would have ever planned for, but changing the nature of one of my creations after they had been born was not something I favored and tried to avoid
Asher the Insane 52 - Alexandra the Intervening Goddess of Redemption Part 02
On the altar, a blinding flash shot out, and I knelt down to take my necklace. For them, it meant so much, yet, even though it was mine, it meant so little to me. Apart from Asher, who always had a positive outlook on life, the remaining group was initially silent; their faces frozen in a serious expression. "Hi Alex," he waved with the old hand of a human woman. "Good day, Asher," I responded. There were only six people here now, including Asher and me, so I extended the greeting, and made a formal bow, to the rest of them. "Do you prefer the name Asher at this time?" "I think I'd like that," Asher answered. “You know this old lady?" Aebshem questioned with a chuckle. "I do," I turned, "Faye," she had accompanied me down onto one of the mortal realms. I could have ordered her to not go, but that would only make her worry, "would you kindly guard Asher and the others?" "Yes, my goddess," she answered without hesitation. She drifted by and past Aebshem. He was alight with pow
Asher the Insane 53 - The House of Lords Part 01
A week has passed since the East Pike Mountain incident; it being the disappearance of it; vanishing from its location. We have a few people here who claim to be eyewitnesses, and we also have a few others supposedly associated with this event. Since this is a matter which has a magnitude of importance, these people will give their testimonies before a court of lords with the king himself in attendance who, at the end of the court proceedings, will give out a judgment and call on what is to be the next step. I, Elis Duncan, a simple gentleman of the Kingdom of Deira, am one of the few chosen scribes to document the proceedings of the court. Firstly, after all the exactly one-hundred-and-nifty-four lords who were attending the court had arrived and been seated in their respective seats in the Palace of Eastprimer in the capital of Deira, Lunnen, on the twenty-fifth of the first month of sumner, directly at noon, one-hundred-and-thirty-five commissioners and fifty-nine judges, with t
Asher the Insane 54 - The House of Lords Part 02
"A relic was taken from the church's crypt eleven days prior," Zedro Diringer stated. "What relic!?" Lord Maximilian Carr sprang up and inquired with a yell. "Lord Carr!" The Lord Speaker said in a very firm tone to remind everyone of their manners. Then he let Priest Diringer continue "It is a necklace or an amulet, which belongs to the goddess Alexandra herself. It was thought to have been given to humanity thousands of years ago and to have the power to call the goddess to the mortal plane itself. We did our utmost to protect the church's vaults, but that day, it was gone, stolen by the Black Order of Urien." "Who is this order, exactly?" the Lord Speaker inquired. "As in their name, they worship Urien, the deity of death. They have been a pain in the church's side for a few decades, as the majority of you are well aware. While they sometimes caused trouble or vandalized other houses of worship, they were mostly harmless, thus stopping them was never given any thought. Though
Asher the Insane 55 - The House of Lords Part 03
The Lord Speaker called once the noise had subsided: "Mister Diringer, that is enough. I appreciate your assistance. Thank you for your cooperation. Could the guards please remove him and bring in Mine Glory, Thakin Forgebreath, Yam Thousand-Hoods, Vethra Nox, and- The Lord Speaker cleared his throat to not have to repeat himself and said in one breath, "Asharisralorentanithilgenkian, to the stand, please?" The five of them were each escorted by multiple guards to the stand. All were wearing traditional formal clothes of their respective race, for them, it was not a common occurrence to meet the king himself, surrounded by the lords of the country. Mine Glory was dressed immaculately. Very likely, that was his former General uniform. A red wrap-around garment with whitened sleeves that shortened and narrowed as they came down towards the wrists, embroidered with feline animals, and most prominently and unlike its compatriots, not a feline, the national animal of the Kingdom of Deira
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- Asher the Insane
My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
- Asher the Insane
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
- Asher the Insane
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
