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Asher the Insane 65 - Asher the Envoy
"Sure I'll be. I can't imagine sending you a few letters from time to time would hinder me in any way, so why not? Or is there something special I'll have to do when you're, like, my boss? In this world, there must be a few skills, or other methods, for sending long distance messages pretty quickly, or even instantaneously.Wait, let me see... I think I already have a skill like that-" Rike lifted his hand to interrupt me before I could finish my thought. He let his hand down and said, "Relax, that's not required; I will send Wystus with you, and at the proper moments, he'll report to me." "Really?” I raised an eyebrow and replied, "I assumed that 'the companion for life' wouldn't be handed away so easily. Or, mhh, I'm not sure how strongly I am connected to my 'life companion'. ... No, I wouldn't abandon Faye, since she is helpful." Rike flashed a mischievous grin, revealing a glint of his pearly whites. "Do not worry," he said in a voice laced with confidence. "Wystus is unique
Asher the Insane 66 - Asher the Calculator
Where to now? The nearest nation from the citadel, according to Rike, is Alaran. Though that didn't really say much. Chauk is a microstate, meaning that it was pretty small. Wandering from one end to another wouldn't even take.... well, let's look at it in more detail. I took a map out of my bag and gave it a close inspection. The map's center was Kathe's capital, Eliza, very close to the north-west of Chauk. Chauk was essentially squeezed between six nations in what seemed like a tidy circle. To pull that one off, Rike must have put in some extra hours of hard work. The average person walks at a pace about one point four meters per second. Three-thousand-six-hundred seconds in an hour makes five-thousand-forty meters per hour. Five kilometers per hour, roughly. From the direct middle of the country, the citadel, Rike said it's about twenty-five kilometers to the closest border, which almost made no difference because almost every border was about that distance away. Double
Asher the Insane 67 - Asher the Accused
I ate a mouthful of dirt, then turned around and looked up from the tall grass. From the dust of the crash zone, a figure emerged. "You're Cyrus, right?" Okay, Asher, play this cool. A woman with lime-hair who suddenly crashed on the ground like a meteor, asked you if you are who you are. Size her up in your mind, she's a woman. That usually meant that she's physically weaker than a man, but that information was useless in a fantasy world where stats decided your power, a woman CAN just be a strong as a man, there are no inherent statistical differences. She looked taller than me and clearly had more muscle mass than I did. If you did, in a world like this, that must have meant that your strength and constitution skill must be high. Also, there was the fact that she could enter into orbit, and not just burn up while hurtling through it and land, creating a crater without getting hurt. “No," I said. Great work Asher, now expand on it to make it feel more real. "...never heard
Asher the Insane 68 - Ioine the Goddess of Jealousy
He started to laugh without hesitation. "YOU'RE a goddess?" Did he WANT to provoke me? "And what's so funny about it?" I asked angrily. "Oh gee, I don't know. I thought gods and goddesses are supposed to be graceful and radiate a commanding aura. The only thing you radiate is heat because you're so hot-headed. So, whatcha want, Miss Goddess? Tell me and I'll do or give you anything in exchange so that you won't kill me. Deal?" "Anything?" I questioned him while hurriedly attempting to cover up a smirk on my face. I'm hoping he missed it. "Yeah," he quickly replied. I turned a section of the grassland into a comfortable parlor and invited him to join me there. I attempted to gaze intently into his eyes, but with no success. He was unable to focus on anything for more than a moment, eyes darting all around the surrounding landscape. Crossing my arms and legs, I ordered him, "I want you to stop hogging away all the attention from my dear Lexi, in addition to all the other guys."
Asher the Insane 69 - The Queen's Journey Part 01 - A Girl
Wo Aini, was a princess born to a father called Wo Chongbaini. He was the sixty-ninth successor of the Alaranian Empire, the sole heir of the throne after his nameless older brother had died during infancy. Her mother was a very weak noble woman called Tamen Henhao, who had also been the sole heir of her own family line. The Wo's and the Tamen's always had a close relationship with each other and to strengthen their connections to the throne, the Tamen's offered their daughter to the previous Emperor, Wo Weirou, as wife to his son. This gift and also the fact that the Tamen's had the biggest private army in Alaran made it easy for the emperor to accept the proposition. Following the birth of a beautiful baby daughter with a snow-white complexion and dark, opaque hair, her mother Henhao passed away, leaving her husband Chongbaini with a void in his heart that was soon filled with hate for the girl who had, in his mind, murdered the only woman he had ever loved. Chongbaini who had a
Asher the Insane 70 - The Queen's Journey Part 02 - The Children
Baohu Ta wasn't a delicate father to both his biological son Wangguo and his adopted daughter Aini. And even if Aini knew and rejected him as her actual father, they both accepted the roles of father and daughter. He still loved her just as much as if she were his own. He didn't mind knowing that her real father was the Emperor and that one day she had to take up the throne. Just as both her mother and father were, she was the only heir of their family and that meant that the heavy responsibility of the future of the empire would be placed upon her shoulders. Ta was aware that the first lesson in life he would have to impart to Aini was humility. "Just because we were born into something doesn't mean we have to take it for granted." This lecture was also extended to his son, who was a descended from the distinguished line of the Baohu family, who often were famous artisans and, usually, remarkable warriors. As any member of the family, he had automatically received the unique fa
Asher the Insane 71 - The Queen's Journey Part 03 - Wanted
Aini had been living with her adoptive father, the ex-Imperial Weapons-Master Baohu Ta, and his son Baohu Wangguo, for ten long and peaceful years now. They lived in a quaint little farmhouse in the countryside, away from the turmoil and chaos of the cities of Alaran. The simplicity of their life had always been a blessing in disguise, allowing them to cherish each other's company and enjoy the little things in life. Even though Aini had never known her birth parents, she loved Ta and Wanggou as if they were her family. It was a beautiful tale of love and compassion for finding one's family outside the preordained. They shared their joys and sorrows together. Their world would soon turn upside down when the Emperor declared a new order, sending a message to his people via the imperial council. The decree was clear: whoever would bring the emperor his daughter, alive or dead, would inherit a fortune from the Imperial Treasury. Even though she was safe at the moment, it was certain th
Asher the Insane 72 - The Queen's Journey Part 04 - Found in Tragedy
Months had passed since the emperor's edict, yet nothing significant had transpired. Aini, Ta, and Wangguo continued to lead their tranquil lives, diligently attending to their crops and livestock, cherishing their time together. They were content, oblivious to the relentlessness with which they were hunted by. Though they were aware of the hunters' presence, they were unaware of the extent of their relentless search. Nonetheless, their self-sustained existence allowed them to forgo any visits to nearby towns, as they lacked nothing essential and had no pressing needs to fulfill. It was a typical day when Ta noticed a strange figure in the distance. The figure was tall, hooded, and carrying a two-handed jian on their back. Ta had never seen anyone like this before and decided to approach the man, still holding a gardening hoe in his hands. "Are you lost?" he called out to the man. "I know who you are, Baohu Ta, and I've come for the Princess," the man answered. Ta was confused. Ho
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
- Asher the Insane
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
- Asher the Insane
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
