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Asher the Insane 85 - The Ghosts of Approval
“That’s a really nice story there, but you must realize that you aren’t the best people to judge, are you? You’re a pansy looking for someone else to protect you, a zealous warmonger, and a greedy backstabber. Whoever this being was, chose some pretty damn bad people,” Asher said. The ghosts fell silent, and Asher could feel their eyes on him. He knew that he had their attention now, and he had to make his case quickly before they changed their minds. The room was silent for a moment, and then one by one, the ghosts began to nod their heads in agreement. Asher could feel the tension in the room easing, and he knew that he had done what he had set out to do. “We were real people with different experiences of the world and the land we ruled. It may be true that in life we had been poor leaders, but we tried. That’s why only aspects of us should be in the ones who rule next,” Diyi retorted. "Oh, I don’t really care. I’m just here to see that the empress gets out of here in one pie
Asher the Insane 86 - Asher the Contributor
As we walked out of the house, I couldn't help but feel relieved that the task wasn't as daunting as I had expected. I mean, I had envisioned this elaborate test of strength and cunning, something that would truly test the limits of the Empress' abilities, where I couldn't really help. But instead, it was just a simple conversation with some ghosts. Not that I was complaining, mind you. It was just a bit anticlimactic, that's all. I turned to the ghosts, Diyi, Yisang, and Liangci, I extended my hand to shake theirs. But as I did, my hand passed right through theirs. I guess that's what happens when you're dealing with ghosts. It was a bit sad to leave them like this, but I knew that I had to move on. As I looked around the stuffy house, I realized that I had lost track of time. How long had we been here, anyway? It felt like hours, but who could say for sure? I decided to push the thought out of my mind and focus on the present. I grabbed Aini's hand and pulled her out of the house.
Asher the Insane 87 - Papia Barbera De Wimmer - 01
My stomach grumbled, and I was cold. It was turning winter soon. That meant that I had to find a shelter that protected me from the snow and cool air instead of sleeping out in the open.The park, however rough it was to sleep in, had been my sanctuary in the warmer seasons for years now.No matter how bad my life has gotten, the park was always there, waiting, as an old friend would.Oh well, time to say goodbye once again, my old friend.I patted the dew-covered grass as a farewell gesture.Standing up, I stretched and yawned loudly.I checked my gear; one small dagger, check, and that's it.That was the only thing I had besides my worn-out clothing.Even if it's a little dull, there was no rust on it, which meant it's the best I can get with no money to my name.Time to get to work.Food wasn’t just going to materialize itself in front of me.Perhaps if I were a magician, but where would I ever get a spell book?The only skills that I have are in survival and thievery, and the skil
Asher the Insane 88 - Papia Barbera De Wimmer - 02
"How could I shatter a little girl's dream of being rich?" He said.How did he find me?He should have been drunk, drooling on the counter, having a booze-filled dream. And the time I needed to run from the tavern to here must have been a new record for me.Did he set me up?He approached me menacingly and said, "I'll even give it to you, free of charge, of course, if... you'll do a tiny, little job for me.How can I escape? The wall was too steep and too smooth to climb; nothing to hold on to. The alley itself was a dead-end and way too narrow to sidestep him.“Haversacks are cool things. I’m not very familiar with DnD, but I know a few things about it, cause a lot of anime is, or rather was, heavily inspired by it, but there's also something like that in there. A bag of holding, which in my opinion, is a way better name, but this world doesn’t have the restrictions it has.It is an infinite bag that can hold an unlimited number of items, doesn't really get heavier, no matter how man
Asher the Insane 89 - Papia Barbera De Wimmer - 03
I couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins."I'm Papia," I said, introducing myself to him."How old are you, Papia? Ten, maybe eleven?" He guessed, his voice filled with a sense of amusement."I'm thirteen already," I replied. My annoyance at that remark was clear."Well, you're a little undernourished, maybe," he remarked, eyeing me up and down. "You're also a little small for your age, and we're not even that far apart age-wise. Around seven years, bit more, bit less, who knows? But it’s not a lot, counting all the longer lived races."I couldn't help but feel a twinge of insecurity at his words. Was I really that small?"Are you alright?" I asked, my concern for him overriding my own self-doubt. I had already let go of the dagger, but it was still lodged inside his chest."It doesn't matter," he said, pulling out the dagger and handing it to me, his clothes rapidly becoming stained with crimson liquid. "Do I have to ask your parents for permission? May
Asher the Insane 90 - Papia Barbera De Wimmer - 04
As I stood behind the divider, I felt a sense of déjà vu as I slipped into yet another dress from the pile of options. The dresses seemed to blend together, with their laces, ribbons, and frills. Would I ever find the perfect one?Once I was dressed, I emerged from behind the divider to show my new elven companion. His pensive expression was enough to tell me that he wouldn't approve of this one either. I felt a pang of disappointment. I had already tried on numerous dresses, but none seemed to "fit" the occasion. It seemed as though no matter what I tried, it just wasn't enough.As I watched him scrutinize not only the dresses but also the shoes, jewelry, gloves, hats, and hairpins that accompanied them, I couldn't help but wonder: were elves really this concerned about creating a fashion faux pas? It was clear that every detail had to be just right.I was exhausted. Even just putting on one of the dresses properly took me at least ten minutes. The corsets were tight; the skirts were
Asher the Insane 91 - Papia Barbera De Wimmer - 05
"Shocking, I know. They usually have the longest ears of any elves I have ever seen. Why are yours so stubby? And your eyes have no glow to them. Your human genes must be overwhelmingly strong. It's very strange, to be honest. I mean, no offense, but still," Asher said. "It's just that I've never seen an elf with such short ears before. I thought all elves had long ears. Even people with just a bit of elf genes in them have 'em." "It doesn't matter. This newfound identity isn't really going to change my life," I said. "Well, doesn't make you less of an elf, just so you know, but I thought you were human. I had this idea of great peace between the races when meeting the king. But two of the race they don't seem to trust? Bit controversial, eh?" "I push the divider aside with force and yelled, "and why the hell are we meeting the king?" Asher continued to speak, his words now flowing freely as if he had been waiting for an audience to hear his grand plan. "Did I forget to tell you?
Asher the Insane 92 - Papia Barbera De Wimmer - 06
As I stood at the bottom of the stone stairway, waiting with Asher to meet the king, standing still became a challenge as the discomfort of the clothes he picked for me became apparent. The brown frilly dress he thought looked good was itching my skin like crazy. I couldn't wait to take it off as soon as the job was done. My mind kept wandering off to a blue dress that I had my eyes on, but Asher didn't agree with my choice, so I didn't take it. Looking back, I realized that letting him choose my outfit was a mistake.I kept telling myself that once this job was done, I could always go and buy as many dresses as I wanted. Blue, brown, red, yellow, or pink, it didn't matter. However, standing there waiting for the king, there was a feeling of unease that lingered in the air that I couldn't shake off, which had nothing to do with the dress.We had been waiting for what seemed like an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than an hour, and I could see that Asher was getting restless.
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
- Asher the Insane
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
- Asher the Insane
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
