Beneath the whispers

Chapter 36

“I may have recovered a bit of my memory” Thelma says

she is walking beside Rose and behind me and Olivia while Tony and Willow are behind all of us

She seems to have gotten close to Rose and the said Rose had found someone to cling to after Tony told her about us. We are not really together since I really want to take care of my past relationship baggage first

“And what would that be?” Tony asks sweetly and she chuckles lightly

“I may have driven off the bridge on the last day I remember” she says slowly as if trying to observe our reaction. We all stop and turn to her almost simultaneously and she folds her lips with a shy expression

“what?” I half-yell

if anyone had told me that Thelma would ever plan to end her own life, I would laugh at the person and sip from my cup of coffee afterwards. First was Olivia and now Thelma?

“yup, I might have drank too much and it just felt right and so I just did it” she tried to make it seem casual but her breaking voice betrays her

“why did you do it?” Olivia asks her

Thelma breathes out “it all started at my twenty first birthday party, I was finally allowed to drink so I went to have fun with my friends. We went to a beach and we stayed late”

The silence with her pause shows how attentively we were listening. She clears the tears that clog in her throat and continue “we had a lot of fun and then it was time to go home, I was with the car that I was gifted with, I used it to get my friends to the beach and I was going to use it to take them back”

The shrill silence from her second pause is breath taking, we all didn’t want to rush her and even though I was not looking at her, I knew her eyes had watered from her breaking voice “I was the one driving and I was the only one that survived” she finally says, covering her face with her hands to cover the tears that gushed from her lids

“oh my God” I say and hold her hand but she leans her face into my jacket instead and I pat her. “I killed my friends and I couldn't just live with it” Thelma cries out and I squeeze her all the more

We had stopped walking and without a care to the sun or the fact that we were in this town controlled by a secret organization

We just sat on the soil and in a circle watching Thelma and for some reason no one knew what to say to her

“I jumped off a bridge too” Olivia comments “I didn’t have a car to drive off with” she jokes and we all chuckle, more so when Thelma lifted her head and grinned at the joke

“wait so you didn’t sign up for any game online” Willow asks

“I thought I did, but aside from the bridge, all I can remember is hospital beeping and next thing I wake in the cab” Thelma responds, her voice is more stable now

“I don’t remember whatever happened after I fell off that bridge too, though I thought I went on a vacation on my own” Olivia's words breaks through a laugh and we laugh along

“wow, way to go on a vacation” Willow jokes and we laugh again

“I cannot even afford a flight to talk of a vacation, but still I believed it until my memories started to come back” Olivia continued trying to keep her laughter in her throat long enough to finish what she had to say

“I may have remembered something too” Rose raise her hand nervously and we all go quiet

She lets out a breath to brace herself and continues “I didn’t sign up either, I just remembered my fiancé who stays abroad, we might have had a chaotic relationship”

She laughs a little and then the laugh turns into a wistful smile “we used to be a tiktok couple before he left the country ... then he stopped texting first ... from there he stopped replying in time and the next thing he ghosted me completely”

She lets out a heavy breath and force a wider smile “I did a video informing my fans that I was going to give him a surprise visit and so I left. When I got to his new home, I met him but he wasn’t excited, instead he broke up with me for coming there to see him, I was on tiktok live when it happened”

She lets out a sad laugh “so my account started to blow up and I got so overwhelmed that I stayed indoors for days, Tony tried to get me out” she gestures to Tony and he squeezes her hand “he took me out... I might have had too much to drink but I mean we were supposed to have fun” she laughs again

“I came online when he left to use the restroom and the comments were exploding, my followers doubled and tripled and everyone was talking about something” she held her breath

“someone in the bar videoed me when I was drunk dancing and posted it and people started captioning it and reposting … I got overwhelmed and I ran out, Tony called and called but I wouldn’t answer it, I cut myself ... That’s it, I don’t remember anything else” she rushed through her lasts words

“that is why you didn’t inform your fans” I say in efforts to not let the mood get too gloomy, she breathes a laugh with teary eyes “I did find it strange that you will come across something like that and not make a video about it” I laugh the words out and she follows suit

“I thought the same” Thelma jokes

Rose stops laughing and place her hand on Tony's “Tony, I am so sorry for dragging you into this” she faces him and slaps her palms together and he pushes down her hands

“it’s ok, on the bright side, I met Bella” he jokes and the rest makes the ‘awwwn’ sound at me and I grin, slightly lowering my head, I didn’t expect the public display of affection

“I still don’t remember shit, when did you guys start getting your memory back?” Tony asks

“Mine was like a dream” Rose answers

“I just had flashes and a bit of confusion followed and then I might have felt dizzy” Thelma says

I did have a dream too, which I had refused to believe in the first place but then with Thelma and Rose opening up about theirs maybe I should too. For what it is worth they could use a joke

I clear my throat and everyone looks at me “my Ex-boyfriend Jeffery”

“the douchebag” Olivia mumbles and we laugh

“yes, the douchebag, it was his birthday so I decided to surprise him in his apartment. I left school and got him a cake... I even prepared a dinner date for the both of us” Rose and Olivia giggles at me and the rest grins. “yea, I was stupid, I get it” I wave their gazes off

“you were in Love” Thelma jokes and I laugh

“I betrayed my best friend... That is not love” I smile at Olivia and she squeeze my hand with a slight nod and I continue “I found the said boyfriend in bed with a girl so I left the house, I cried in my car for a while and -” yea, the next part does sound stupid like what the hell was wrong with me

I scratch out the discomfort that tingle behind my neck and continue avoiding their eyes “I may have taken myself back to his apartment”

Tony laughs but hold it back before it became a cackle and the rest follows trying to pretend like they didn't want to laugh - yea right, my sad story is slowly becoming an entertainment

I clear my throat to get their attention again “the girl had dressed up and she was on the couch when I entered. He came out of his room, with his wallet and hands her some cash and she leaves”

“wait, a sex worker?” Thelma almost yells

“he confirmed it when he tried to justify that technically he wasn't cheating since emotional attachment is not involved” I said imitating his deep voice

“how did I date that guy, I was even trying to get him back when you guys got together. I deserve some whooping” Olivia says and they laugh in response

“well, we both should be whooped like crazy” I fist my hands relishing the thought of being whooped with a huge plank

“at least you know better now” Tony said

“my stupid ass should have known better then” I blurt, Shuddering at my stupidity “after the stupid argument, I left and went to a bar where I drank and drank my idiotic self off. I do remember being approached but then I blacked out before they got close enough. Next thing I am in a cab”

“wow” Thelma says “none of us registered online”

“that looks like it” silence grew in the air and we all look at Willow, for some reason we felt he had something to say too

He braces himself “I did overdose on pills. That was what led me to the hospital” he said and we nod along

Every one of us has something dark that got us here - except Tony by the way, who haven't seemed to remember anything

“let’s hear your story then” I say

“ugh” he scratches the back of his head

“keeping stories is not allowed” Thelma warns with a warm smile I have never seen before

“I was an Orphan from birth, adopted by a young woman at the age of four and she had issues, I don’t know exactly what but she takes pills daily to sleep and she drinks a lot too. She had a lot of money so I could attend school. but then, a few months after she took me in … she started using me to satisfy herself” he pauses and laughs nervously

“whoa” I couldn’t not stop him there to digest what I had just heard

“yea, it got overwhelming at first but I grew up with it and I got used to it somehow. I met a girl that I started to like, she sent me a love letter and I told her that I liked her back. We started dating but I was still involved with my foster mother, the closer we became the more questions she had to ask and I knew that I was going to lose her so I confronted my mother about it and she didn’t take it well. She threatened to kill herself if I left her and I didn’t know she meant every word she said so when I declared that I was leaving she stabbed herself” he stops, trying to control his emotions

“wow, that is some sick fellow” Tony comments

“she was a fashion icon and you can never guess she would be like that. she had this good image, that is why when I came out with the truth of what happened nobody believed me and my girlfriend left me. I started getting hate and they started suspecting me for murdering the woman so I just went home one day and overdosed on her pills” Willow finalizes and heaves a deep sigh, managing to keep himself from breaking down

“well…” Tony starts, we all go quiet patiently waiting for him to put the words together “I don’t remember how I got here but I do have something to get off my chest” he announces and we all nod after him

“I watched my parents die… car accident, they were stuck, I tried to get them out before the car exploded but some people started pulling me away from the vehicle. That was it… gone”

“Tony…”Thelma’s voice trail. I just sat there unable to say anything. Just watching his sad smile as he narrated

“I lost everything to my Uncles because I was very young. They will probably use suicide to cover up my disappearance too” he sniffs and wipes his face. Silence follows as we all just sit quietly with no one saying anything further