Beyond The Dream: Priggish God Damn!

Next To Her Being Mad

One day, two days, three days passed, I did not meet her again at the same time in the same place.

However, today it seems luck is on my side. The woman I missed seems to be standing waiting for the bus as far as I walk towards her. I've been going home by bus for the past few days, because this is what I expected to happen.

The previous two meetings, I didn't have the readiness to be able to venture to ask her name. But now, I'm ready for it.

I see, the woman does not notice my presence. Even standing behind her, I still do not notice her. So, I touch the woman's shoulder with my index finger hesitantly to get her attention.

Feeling someone touches her shoulder, the woman looked back before flinching slightly to see me standing not far from her.

"Oh hi? Do you need something with me?”

I’m shocked after discovering, the face I see right now is not the face that had been engraved in my mind.

"Ah!? I'm sorry, I'm wrong. You’re not her...” I awkwardly mix with embarrassment shaking my head which is followed by a slight bow before walking back slowly, then I see an empty seat behind.

I immediately sit there with a stiff neck.

Remembering my purpose here, I sigh. Luck isn't on my side. Even out of hope, I got the wrong target and ended up embarrassing myself.

“Well… There's no need to rush. As long as I see her one more time, I won't let go of that opportunity again…” I mutter.

"If you want to tell, who would you like to meet? Then, what occasion do you mean?”

"A woman has captured my heart, and I don't even know who she is..." I sigh in response to a question from someone beside me who I don’t expect to exist, because I do not pay much attention to my surroundings.

Then, the question that was just said from the person beside me is repeated in my memory. That voice, yes the voice I just heard feels familiar. I turn around with some trepidation, wondering if I heard right or if I was actually just hallucinating and I was tense too.

This heart has exploded, beating wildly. My face turns pale after seeing the woman I expected to be here I met is actually beside me.

Meanwhile, I just said something embarrassing.

If there's a hole around here, I'll sink this head to cover the shame that rushes in.

“Ara... So sweet. Who is that lucky lady?” says the woman who is beside me while gently touching one side of her own face without knowing that what I meant in what I said earlier is her.

She is the woman who has captured this heart.

In a situation like this, the courage that I had purposely gathered back just fell apart.

My body feels weak now.

This woman is really good at pissing me off, even though I know she doesn't do it on purpose.

"L-lucky, huh..." I say, laughing awkwardly.

In the end, even this time I again waste the opportunity to just know her name. The woman left leaving mixed feelings in my heart which is only able to watch her go without being able to say.

In my heart, I curse myself for being so hard.

At that moment, an idea pop up. An idea, which I would most likely change my life if I do it. Namely, chasing her. Yes, chasing her without using a vehicle. I will catch up with her by running fast using this new body condition.

But even though I thought of the idea, my legs wouldn't move to start the pursuit.

“How can someone be as cowardly as me? Maybe I'm the worst person in the world. Just facing with love problems, I’m made helpless…”

Smiling slightly as I watch the woman leave, I sighed before walking towards the bus that has just arrived. It wis the bus as usual, the bus that would take me to my destination prefecture.

'Apparently, I need to consult an expert...'

...

After the last meeting, the fourth meeting took place again. Then, in a row the fifth and sixth meetings occurred after several days of not meeting.

Seventh encounter, so far I've counted how many times I've seen her in total. This time, I really mean to be brave. No, not daring but I have to ask her name no matter what.

I don't think there's any reason for me to back out. Because I know, once I go back I will keep going back without knowing how to go forward.

I hold out my hand, asking her to shake hands after so long.

The woman feels my hands shaking so much, she is surprised. But when her gaze turns to me, she sees a look of determination in her eyes. She doesn't know what my determination meant. What is clear is something big that makes me have to muster up so much determination that it made her smile a little.

"Spirit! I don't know what you're dealing with, but I will support you with this handshake..." says the woman.

"Ah!? About that, I-I-…”

My tongue feels so numb. How hard it is for me to say that I want to get acquainted with her. In fact, the door of opportunity has opened so wide in front of me. Just one more step, I will be able to seize the opportunity.

However, I immediately realized one thing. I’m shaking her hand too long, so because of this it makes the woman look at me with fear.

"I-I'm sorry-..."

As soon as I let go, the woman run away from me. I look around, the bus hasn't come yet. But, why did the woman leave?

I see, the woman stops across the street.

“She… avoided me? Yes, that's for sure...” I sigh, realizing that I have just made a very fatal mistake. Namely, I have left a bad impression when I was one step away from seizing the opportunity that I had always squandered.

I see, on the other side the woman is still looking at me with fear. The smile I have always seen disappeared from her. The pain of this heart, like a blunt object is slicing it slowly.

I wonder, actually why I feel so strange around her?

As long as I socialized with other people, an incident like this had never happened before. It doesn't matter who, even interacting with women doesn't make me lose myself.

I know, all this because I have fallen in love with her. But, will it really be so terrible this feeling called love?

Come to think of it, how could I suddenly fall in love with someone I don't even know then and don't even know the name of? In fact, many women I have met and even know each other. But, none of them managed to break my heart.

I do look ordinary, but there are some women who show interest in me. There are also those who bravely confess their feelings to me, which of course I refuse.

“Is it like that? Maybe, this is what is called karma..." I mutter remembering an incident, I humiliated a woman.

Now I realize, what the woman who loved me felt at that time is the same as what I am feeling now. I feel guilty, haven't I done something cruel?

Take a deep breath, let it out slowly. I have made up my mind to approach her. I immediately approach her after I looked left and right there were no vehicles that would pass.

Facing the woman after I got there, without saying anything I immediately bow down while exclaiming "I'm sorry, Miss..."

I’m ready to accept whatever the outcome is whether the woman would further distance herself from me or, better yet, forgive me. What is clear, I just want to correct a fatal mistake what I did a moment ago.

“Hmph! Alright, I’ll forgive you…” She smiles at me that from her simple smile saying that she is actually not angry, just frustrated waiting me taking action.

What I found after getting sorry is that woman, her name is Yukari Miho after I got to know her, apparently she is also waiting for me to take the initiative to introduce myself. So after that, she just needed to introduce herself back. It's just that at that time I was struggling with tension and complicating myself.

It's a relief after all this happened.

Now, being near her doesn't make me lose myself anymore. Maybe even, I feel much better than usual times.