Corpse March

Chapter 7

“Help me to m-marry. I know that the students of the Neo Magical Academy typically marry around the age of seventeen to nineteen so… I figured that someone like you would be knowledgeable.”

“Hm? You truly risked your life for marriage advice?”

“N-No, not exactly. I was hoping for… more direct help.”

“Then perhaps you would like me to arrange one for you?”

YES! Yes! Yes! Yes! YESSSSSS!!! 

“Why, yes. That would be ideal indeed. She would have to be a noble woman, one of great beauty. Yes… that person would be ideal.”

“Very well, then, Tsumugi, would you mind marrying Hamamoto?”

NO! No! No! No! NOOOOOO!!!

“You read my mind perfectly, Lady Kentomi. A political marriage to strengthen the bond between our factions is ideal for both of us.”

“Hey, hold on, I just said–”

“A noblewoman of great beauty?”

“Well, yes, but–”

“But…?”

Tsumugi raises an eyebrow at her. Haru suddenly gets the feeling that she’s walking on a very thin tightrope. If the options are between her potentially poking the hornet’s nest and upsetting a member of the Neo Magical Academy’s student council or getting hitched, then she supposes that there’s little else to do other than bite the bullet.

“It’s nothing. I’m perfectly fine with this.”

FUCK!

“Well, I suppose that’s settled."

Kagami lightly claps them both on the back. Haru feels like she might fall over from that tiny amount of force alone. 

"All we need now are some witnesses… I don't suppose you brought your forces with you, Tsumugi?"

"No, when I heard about what happened to your consort, I was beside myself. I knew that you would throw yourself into the line of fire so I simply had to rush to your aid. There was no time to gather anyone else."

“Ah, is that so?”

Both Tsumugi and Kagami stare at each other. A shiver travels up Haru’s spine. For a reason she can’t explain, she senses the quietest of cold wars being waged between the two girls.

“LADY KENTOMI!”

Then the hostility vanishes. Putting on the biggest smiles they can muster, they turn to greet the third party, fourth party, fifth party, sixth party… all the way to 99th Parties calling out from somewhere in the forest. She rechecks it. Yes, 99 different voices all calling out for ‘Lady Kentomi'. Haru turns all around but sees only trees. Squirming trees. Like gigantic rodents moving in the underbrush. 

“I suppose here come your forces, then?"

“Just my honor guard.”

The sounds of rustling come from everywhere and yet, no matter how hard Haru looks, she can’t find anyone or anything. Then, almost cartoonishly, she spots it. No- not it, them. All of them. All 99 of them. She recounts. Yes, 99 of them. All of them dressed in various levels of camouflage gear. From green face paint to full on ghillie suits. Many of them have guns that seem too big for their bodies, the rest have serrated knives. How she missed so many people all at once is a mystery to her. 

“We were so worried!”

A particularly eager beaver jumps up to wrap her arms around Kagami. She returns the favor, lifting the girl high up into the air. A gentle innocence graces her face in the form of a toothy smile , one that Haru hasn’t seen before. Understandably so, it’s not as though there’s much room for gentleness in Monarchian Territory. Not even for their allies. 

“Lady Kentomi!”

Someone in the crowd calls out all of a sudden. Her voice is harsh and strict amidst all the celebration. The crowd parts to reveal a tall girl in commando gear. Bandana around her forehead, short ginger ponytail, green combat fatigues from the waist down, white tank top from the waist up. Overall, 7/10, semi-smash from Haru. 

“That girl reeks of the outside world. We should be rid of her immediately.”

The person points at Haru with all the distaste of a person pointing at a cockroach. 

“Huh?! I’m the one who reeks? I’ll have you know I shower twice a day, lady!

“It’s a metaphor, idiot! It means that we can’t trust you."

“I saved Kentomi's life!”

“It’s Lady Kentomi, to you. And besides, you merely beat us to the punch. We would have rescued her regardless.”

“Gh–!”

Haru searches her mind for some kind of comeback but comes back empty-handed. Stressing about her arranged marriage can wait, she needs to think about whether she can get away with punching this bitch in the face or not.

“Peace, Kikimi.”

Kikimi. What an unsightly name.

“This girl made an enemy out of the Monarchs for my sake. I trust her more than some people from inside Takakumo.”

Based on her scowl alone, the girl named Kikimi seems thoroughly unconvinced. 

“If nothing else, should the worst come to pass, she will make a fine ally against Gleam.”

“Gleam…”

Ah, there it is. Her scowl deepens but Haru gets the impression that it’s directed somewhere else. Whoever this Gleam person is, Kikimi’s hatred for her far eclipses the hatred she has for the outside world. 

“Does that mean we’re taking her with us?”

“This girl has nowhere else to go. The Monarchs will tear her to shreds within the hour for her treason. It wouldn’t do for us to leave her here for dead.”

“Even then… I don’t like that we’re bringing an outsider into Takakumo.”

“Then very well, I was hoping to do this in a more comfortable environment but everyone please gather around.”

She conducts the crowd into a large circle composed of girls of all shapes and sizes. Some are smaller than Haru, some are larger than Kagami, some sport heavy armor, and some hardly wear anything at all beyond their camouflage. They hold their hands together and even bow their heads in pseudo-reverence. 

“Um, excuse me.”

Haru leans in close to Kagami’s ear and whispers.

“What in the hell is happening?”

“Ah that’s right, where are my manners? Haru, this is my personal honor guard, the Ninety-Nine Bridal Elites. They’re also my wives.”

“Ahhh, I see. That makes sense–”

What did she just say? Wives? Ninety-nine wives? Aren’t you supposed to stop at one? Something in her chest shatters into ninety-nine pieces. 

“So… you’re married… to everyone here?”

“Except for Tsumugi.”

“Of course.”

She crouches down and covers her face in her hands. 

“Hmmm… you seem upset.”

“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

She stands up, dusts herself off and puts on the blankest expression she can muster. Haru looks around at the crowd of people that are now surrounding her, Kagami and Tsumugi.

“Let’s get this over with. Whatever this is.”

“This is your wedding. My honor guard will be your witnesses.”

“Oh right.”

She crouches down and covers her face in her hands. Again.

“Hmmm… you seem upset.”

“No, I’m fine, let’s just get this over with.”

“We are gathered here today, in holy matrimony… err… something something something. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Tsumugi leans in, Haru doesn’t. Thankfully, she merely kisses her on the cheek. It stings. She kisses her twice, because fangs come in pairs. A shotgun marriage in the middle of an enchanting forest. It’s a fairytale moment that she always dreamed would happen to her. And yet, now that she’s here, she can’t help but wish that she was anywhere else. She can’t help but laugh at how upset she is at the whole thing. Though, there is one saving grace about this whole thing. That is, the look on Kikimi’s face. 

“HA?!”

“There. By virtue of marrying a citizen, this girl is now a citizen of Takakumo City.”

“B-But Lady Tsumugi is the Muse of the student council!”

“What of it?”

“Oh that’s just a silly little honorary title. I don’t hold much actual authority so you don’t have to worry about this.”

Tsumugi waves her hand dismissively.

“Well, there you have it, Kikimi. Two consenting parties. Everything seems to be in order.”

Kagami places her hands on her hips and smiles, self-satisfied. Kikimi looks like she’s about to say something but bites her tongue.

“Very well. I have no more qualms. Your will is so, Lady Kentomi.”

“Good.”