"Plan C is me," Logan chuckled. "If all else fails, then he'll try to get him drunk and charm the pants off of him until he tells him what he wants to know.""Is there a Plan D?" Rafe asked curiously. "We should all know by now that everyone loves the D.""Hmmm..." Logan rubbed his chin as he thought of a back-up fall-back plan. Then it hit him. "His phone!" Logan exclaimed. "Rafe, your transforming hand issues may just be a blessing in disguise.""How so?" the goblin wasn't following."We already know you have the power to imitate people's voices, right?" Logan said as he tried to lead his friends to his conclusion. "Why couldn't you do the same for somebody's fingerprints?""You want us to try to steal Franklin's phone and then use Rafe's powers to unlock it?" Abina' eyes lit up at the thought. "Bingo!" Logan snapped and pointed at the blonde. "It shouldn't be too difficult since two of us have telekinetic powers. We can just sl
“Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves,” Logan tried to bring the conversation back to the here and now and nodded to the people entering the yard. “We’re starting to fill up.” As they continued to chat, dozens and dozens of people wandered into the party. It was hard to keep an accurate headcount, but there were at least five or six dozen people who passed through the sliding glass door as the night progressed. About thirty minutes into the celebration, the whole crowd went silent and then began to applaud. It looked like their guest of honor had finally arrived. Marvin Franklin looked just as sleazy here as he did on television. He wore a black tuxedo that matched his parted black hair, complete with a matching raven-colored bow tie and shoes. The man used so much product in his hair that it appeared greasier than their pizza from earlier. Franklin walked through the crowd, waving at his constituents as he made his way toward the dance floor. Every
Logan completely ignored her question. "So it's all a sham? Why would Azar need somebody in the political world to do his dirty work?""He still hasn't figured it out?" Ira smiled deliciously as the words left her lips. "That's rich. I would have figured the great Logan Ralston would have had the whole mystery wrapped up and tied up with a little bow by now.""Even Sherlock needs a little--" Logan started."Shhhh," the succubus said as she placed her entire hand over Logan's mouth. "My 'dear husband' is about to start his speech." The music cut off, and everybody stopped what they were doing so that they could give Franklin their full attention."Logan's fellow Phoenicians, his fellow Americans, thank you for coming out tonight," the politician began. "Can I first start off by saying that he is very impressed with this turnout? I knows this entire fundraiser was short notice, but he'd like to extend a big thank-you to our host, Robert Quinn!"The crowd erupted in cheers an
Logan laughed. “Our first goblin congressman? I like the sound of that.”“Also, legal weed.” the goblin chuckled. “The Masterson platform is one that every slacker, stoner, and pervert in America can get behind!” “You’d have my vote, Rafe.” Abina chuckled. “So,” Logan brought them back on track, “how’d it go with Franklin?”Beth frowned. “He didn’t respond to us at all. We tried to sweet-talk him into ‘getting out of here,’ but he kept pulling up the ‘I have a wife and kid’ card.”“That’s because he’s as straight as a circle,” Rafe explained.“As much as I hate to admit it, I think Rafe is right,” Logan conceded. “Ira told me the same thing.”“Did Jakey just say I was right?” The goblin sounded like he was in complete disbelief. “I need to mark this day on my calendar, for it is a momentous occasion!”“I just want to know what kind of contact lenses he uses,” Abina chimed in. “I couldn’t see the purple in his eyes at all. All the brands we’ve tried so far still allow o
“So, back to Proposition Sixty-Six…” Logan tried to get Forneus back on track. “Right.” Franklin nodded. “So, I was proudly one of the many representatives to put my name on this piece of legislation. I want to see good ‘ol red-blooded Americans like you, Mr. Pearson, get what they deserve. Did you know that in less than two decades, scientists predict that our entire infrastructure system here will collapse?” He looked over the politician’s shoulder and saw Abina give him a thumbs up.“That sounds made up,” Logan said with skepticism.Beth returned with the entire bottle of wine and two new glasses, sat them down in front of them, and then walked away in a hurry. Franklin pointed a drunken finger at Logan's face. “I thought you were supposed to be on our side?” he interrogated.“I am, I am.” Logan corrected. “I just have a hard time believing rhetoric and simple words, that’s all. I’m a man of hard science, you know?”“Damn straight,” Marvin slurred a
Logan was able to duck out of the way just seconds before the jaws of the hellhound snapped shut on his skull, but before he could reorient himself, the ugly fucker with the axe brought his weapon hurling down from above. He pushed his body back with his legs, and his ass hit the floor just in time to see the axe smash into the ground a few inches from his crotch.“What the fuck is going on in-- Holyfuckingshitballs!” Rafe exclaimed from behind.The hellhound leapt up at Logan once more, but he was able to block it quickly by tossing up a purple barrier. At the same time, he unleashed a blast of red Magicfire on the demon with the loincloth, but the demon skillfully knocked it away with the haft of his weapon.“You’re one ugly motherfucker,” Rafe mocked in his best Austrian accent.“Kill them all, my pet!” the demon exclaimed, and then the hellhound turned its attention away from Logan and began to run back at Beth and Rafe.“You’ve got a lot of balls coming here,” L
Logan tackled the madame out of the way of the attack just before it could connect.“A boy and his dog!” The ugly fucker laughed. “It’s a trope as old as time itself.”“Bro, did you seriously just give away your one weakness?” Rafe called out from above. “What a fucking idiot.”“It’s called a strategic revelation,” the demon retorted. “I like to give a little bit of mystery to my prey before--”“You have to kill him and the dog within a few minutes of each other, or else they’re just gonna keep coming back,” Rafe explained.“How did you kn--” the fucker started to ask as his eyes opened wide with fear.“You need to work on your riddle skills, bro!” The goblin cackled as Kelda released her blue spell and flew off to fight the hellhound.“That’s actually great.” Logan summoned red and green Magicfire into his hands. “That means I can kill you as many times as I fucking want.” He reached up, engulfed the battle axe with jade flames, and then hurled it at the boil-filled demo
“I thought the idea of going to Hell was bad,” Rafe scoffed as he stared out the window at passing trees, “but Washington? That’s much worse, bro.” “Oh, it won’t be that bad,” Logan reassured the goblin as they drove through the vast open plains of Oklahoma. “We went on a school trip to D.C. in my junior year. There’s actually a lot more to do there than you’d expect. As long as you avoid the tourist traps that is.”“It’ll probably come as no surprise to you,” Abina chuckled from the backseat, “but we elves are very familiar with Washington D.C. It’s one of the biggest hotbeds of activity in this part of the world.”“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Rafe made a “mind-blown” motion and took a puff from the joint in his hand. “Are you telling me that politicians aren’t faithful to their wives?”“I would have figured you’d be more surprised that our high-ranking government officials knew about demons and knew how to summon elves.” Logan chuckled.Rafe just shrugged. “Illuminati, bro.”“You