“This thing is so badass!” Rafe was on the verge of tears as we sped down the highway. “So much better than that beat-up old rust bucket we used to call a vehicle.”“Lola?” Logan said in surprise. “I’m surprised you’d ever say a bad word about her.”“How dare you?” the goblin gasped. “Lola was the greatest sex wagon in the history of the planet Earth! I’m talking about Shadow.”“Right … ” Logan sighed.“Seriously, bro,” Rafe continued. “Why didn’t we take this thing out sooner?”“Because,” Logan explained and motioned to the backseat, “there’s barely any room in here. Look at how cramped it is with just the five of us.”Abina and Kelda were sitting in the back seat of the red Maserati GT with their legs nearly up to their chests. Meanwhile, Ira sat in the passenger seat, and Rafe sat on her lap.“You can’t tell me this is comfortable,” he pushed back at the goblin.“It’s not,” Rafe shook his head, “but it’s worth it. The chicks are gonna be all over the Rafester when we roll up in thi
“It was about time they got another vehicle,” Logan announced over Rafe’s theatrics. “With Beth taking over the Velvet Lips and Ira going to be on the campaign trail all the time, they can’t all rely on Shadow.”“What about us?” Kelda questioned sadly. “Will we have to go off on our own, too?”“Only if you want to,” Logan said with a soft smile into the rearview mirror. “Unlike their previous masters, he doesn’t give a damn what they decide to do. If they want to go off and have a career on their own, be his guest. If they want to hang around him for all of eternity, also be his guest. His elves are always free to do what they want!”“I want to stay around him,” Liby confirmed. “I’ll leave all these Earthly pleasures to my sisters.”“Glad to hear.” Logan nodded. “And who knows? Maybe after Azar is defeated once and for all, they can go retire to some quiet tropical island somewhere and spend the rest of their lives partying and soaking up the sun on the beach.”“That sounds mo
"If only," Logan said with a snort. "Just give it a minute, my signal is a little weaker here."Logan shook it a couple times, and the camera's stream finally started. They were seeing things from Ira's point of view as she pushed open the door of the shop.There was the sound of a bell ringing and a metallic creak as the door opened, and then she was standing inside of a small room. This place certainly looked like your typical New Age shop, with colorful fabrics draped all over the shelves and incense smoke drifting off multiple burners.Even though they weren't physically there, Logan was sure the entire place smelled like sage and cedar."Hello?" Ira called out into the empty shop. "Anybody hooomee?"Just off to the left, a curtain of hanging beads rustled, and an older-looking man stepped through the threshold. The demon wore a ridiculously large purple headband over his fading black hair, and on his chest rested a leather vest that would have made Davy Crockett jealous. He
Logan's heart sank at the demon’s words, and he unfastened his seatbelt.“What are you doing?” Kelda hissed from behind him. “You’re going to blow her cover.”“Something’s not right,” he whispered. “He’s too laid back about all of this.”“Oh, I think I’m going to pass,” Ira explained softly. “I’m on a detox diet right now, and tea is one of my forbidden items. Gotta keep my slim figure. It’s good for my public image, you know?”“Please, Ira,” Ose continued. “I insist. It’ll be good for you.”Ira let out an awkward chuckle. “I appreciate you brewing this for me, Ose, I really do. I’m just not in a tea-drinking mood right now.”“Ira,” the demon’s voice now grew angry. “You are a guest in my shop. Please, it would be disrespectful to not accept my offer.”“Why are you so insistent I drink from this cup, Ose?” Ira asked accusingly.The demon slammed his hands palm-down on the table. “You are being very rude, you know,” he growled, and his eyes began to glow green.“Fuck this.” Loga
"Actually," Logan admitted, "not bad at all.""Now all that’s left is for Logan and Lib to make him all animated and shit," the goblin explained. "Go on and try it!""I’ll take the mouth if you take the body," Abina offered."This is fucking insane," Logan noted, but he couldn't help but chuckle as he summoned green Magicfire into his hands.He outstretched his palms toward the dead demon and encased his body in jade flames. Then he raised Ose’s body up into the air so it was standing in an upright position, and he tried to keep him looking as natural as possible."Ahhh, shit," Rafe sighed. "We fucked up.""What’s wrong?" Logan asked, and they all turned toward the goblin."I can see the green fire. Can’t you all?""Doh," Logan sighed as he realized that Rafe was right. They couldn’t possibly use Ose’s animated body to sneak in if the various elves and demons in the party saw the green magicfire. They would know someone was manipulating his body."Well, it was a good plan while
Logan turned to Ira and Kelda. “Where do you think their sisters could be hiding?” he asked.“Rafe, this is Kelda,” the blonde spoke into the communicator. “What do you smell?”“You mean other than the overpowering stench of Ose’s perfume shower?” Rafe snorted. “Let me see. I’m picking up the scent of sweat and guilt all over. Also, a little bit of fruity drink--wait. Hold the phone … that’s California Emerald Oxygen if I’d ever smelt it!”“So there’s weed present?” Kelda asked.“Is there ever!” Rafe retorted. “That shit’s my favorite. I’d know its succulent smell anywhere.”“Follow the trail,” the elves ordered. “Tris is a notorious stoner. Find that weed, and you’ll probably find her.”“Why are we fighting this chick, again?” Rafe joked. “She sounds like my type of demon! To the right, Jakey. Two o’clock, to be exact.”Abina and Logan manipulated Ose’s body so it was now walking in the general direction Rafe had given them.“Slight left,” Rafe gagged. “There’s some vomit on the
Logan released his spell on Ose's body, and the camera collapsed to the floor of the nightclub. At this point, he really didn't give a care about keeping with the mission anymore. They just needed to keep Aruna from killing these two.They were through the door in an instant. Once inside, Logan began to scan the club for anyone that could possibly be their assassin. Who was he kidding? He had just seen Aruna transform into a six-foot tall muscular dude. She could literally be anybody in this place."We need to get to Tris and Gula," Logan ordered the elves beside him. "We can take up a defensive position, and then we'll deal with Aruna."The four of them began to push through the crowd of drunken dancers, back toward where they had last seen Rafe and their targets. Despite the fact that they all looked like they were in a hurry, nobody seemed to pay them any attention. Everyone just kept grinding and grooving to the beat of the bass drops blaring across the club."Fuck!" Logan yelled
"Logan growled and summoned purple Magicfire into his hands. He muttered to himself, 'I'm parting the drunken sea.' Clapping his hands together, a long thin line of violet fire formed in front of him, directly between a bunch of dancing civilians. He raised his hands in opposite directions vertically, and the Magicfire rose to be seven feet tall. Then, he moved his hands in opposite directions to create two walls that gently nudged people out of their way. Once there was an opening in the crowd, Logan and the elvea dashed through.Before they could even reach the end of the tunnel, Logan located Aruna. Directly to their right, people were screaming in terror and fleeing the scene as flashes of red Magicfire lit up the dark club.'There!' Logan pointed and released his barrier. The crowd around the fight had thinned out enough that he could just make out the figures of Aruna, Rafe, and the elvea.'Don't engage until we get closer,' Logan ordered. 'We don't need any civilian casua