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Dark Elves Harem Chapter 87
“Okay, so he thinks they want three Chicago-style dogs, three plain dogs, a corn dog, five orders of corn on a stick, and the bucket of french fries,” Logan explained. “Bro, don’t you dare forget that LouiBethna Hot Link,” Rafe reminded him with a pat on his calf. “Ah, and one LouiBethna Hot Link,” Logan added. “Make that two!” Abina begged. “Fine, two Hot Links,” Logan corrected. “And drinks,” Rafe continued. “How can they possibly eat all this without something to drink?” “Five sodas, as well.” The man tapped away at his register as the order continued to pile up. “Alright,” their server said as he ran his eyes back across the screen. “That’s all comes out to ninety-seven sixty.” “I’m gonna take one of the girls and go grab a spot, Jakey,” Rafe’s voice muttered. “I want front-row seats to see if any of these people hurl on the Fireball!” “I’ll go.” Kelda nodded. “I definitely don’t want to miss that.” As Abina walked a
Dark Elves Harem Chapter 88
“Why would she want to do that?” Logan asked curiously. “Wouldn’t that make her weaker?” “At first, it was just for her clients who were too timid to get in on the action for themselves,” the redhead explained. “She would split herself into two halves and then put on a show for her summoner.” “Instant threesome, just add magic,” Rafe cackled. “You joke, but it’s true.” Abina shrugged. “We all use our Hellfire powers to give us an edge in the bedroom.”“Or the couch,” Kelda added. “Or the sleeping bag. Or the backseat of the car.”“Or a floating platform in the middle of the desert.” Beth looked at Logan and bit her lip. “But I digress. Ira has a dominant half that does the dominating, and a submissive half that enjoys taking sexually charged abuse.”“And that was the submissive half we fought?” Logan asked. “Bro,” Rafe’s voice chuckled. “She asked if you were going to bludgeon her to death with your schlong. If that was the submissive side, I
Dark Elves Harem Chapter 89
“Raphey boy!” Rafe exclaimed, and then the floating splotch of chili and cheese ran over to the Light Elve. “I was hoping you’d show up. We can’t go on the roller coasters with an odd number of riders.” Raph stopped in his tracks and looked down at his leg as the fabric wrinkled. When Rafe finally released him, a stain of chili-cheese appeared just below the Light elve knee. “It is good to see you too, Rafe,” the dark-haired man muttered and wiped at the greasy stain. “Although I must admit that I’ve gone through more suits in the last month than I think I have in the last hundred years.” “You don’t wear white when Rafe’s around.” Kelda shrugged. “I found that out very quickly.” “That was an accident and you know it!” the goblin said accusingly. “To what do we owe the pleasure, Raphael?” Beth changed the subject. “Beth.” The light elve nodded. “You look more relaxed and radiant than usual.” “Sister Beth and Jacob made the connecti
Dark Elves Harem Chapter 90
“Oh, now, it was a blessing and a curse,” the redhead retorted. “I got to leave Hell for full days on end without recourse, but in return I had to come back and manage all of these girls. As you can probably imagine that was no small feat.” “Small price to pay,” Kelda cooed. “You know you loved every minute of it.” “I did,” Beth said as she ran her hand up and down the blonde’s back lovingly. “And now that I followed you and Abina to Logan, I’m loving it even more.” “Oh boy,” Rafe’s voice intervened. “Am I watching a Lifetime original movie over here?” “Don’t pretend you’re not loving this whole thing too, Rafe,” Logan rolled his eyes.“No doubt, bro,” the goblin’s voice agreed. “Chicks dig the Rafester and his massive schlong. Plus, we get to go around doing badass demon-slaying shit. It actually makes me kinda bummed that we’re only killing humans this time.”“Even with the context, that sounds horrible,” Logan laughed and then looked down at hi
Dark Elves Harem Chapter 91
“Like the girl back in Kansas?” Logan asked. “Be still my beating heart,” Rafe sighed. “I still think she’s the one, bro. But nobody can handle this sexy hunk of goblin. The world just isn’t ready.”“Remember what we told you,” Abina patted what he assumed was the goblin’s head. “Once Logan grows his connections and becomes more powerful, you’ll be able to shapeshift into whatever body you want.”“Well that almost makes me want to do the connection thingy with Logan myself!” The goblin giggled. “But no homo.”“You know,” Logan laughed. “You keep saying that, but I’m starting to wonder…”“No homo, bro,” Rafe reiterated. “Now, are you ready for our sweaty, shirtless bodies to be thrown together from the whiplash of this roller coaster?”“Sure thing, Rafe.” Logan rolled his eyes and handed everybody their bands. They strapped them onto their wrists and then walked over to the entrance of The Giant Dipper. This was apparently one of the oldest roller coasters in Am
Dark Elves Harem Chapter 92
Before he could answer, they were launched up hundreds of feet into the air. The elves, Rafe, and Logan all screamed as the ride took them up, dropped them a few dozen feet, and then took them up again. For a brief moment, during one of the pauses, Logan opened his eyes and was met with one of the most beautiful scenes he’d ever seen in his entire life. They were hundreds of feet in the air, and to his right, the magnificent Pacific Ocean stretched out before him as far as the horizon would let it go. Off to his left, he could see the bustling boardwalk, framed by the beautiful mountains off in the distance. Then the ride decided it was going to drop them again, and his eyes instinctively whipped shut. After a few more ascensions and drops, the five of them were all safely back on the ground. The safety pieces on their chests clicked loose, and Logan raised his up and slid down out of the ride vehicle. “I think I liked that more than the roller coaster,” Beth
Dark Elves Harem Chapter 93
“Now I say, I say, could you kindly di-rect me to the numbas of mah finances for this account?” he said into the phone. Logan couldn’t help but put his hand to his face as the words came out. There was a moment of silence, and then a happy beep. “Hello, Mr. Quinn,” the automated voice responded. “Your account balance is… One-million dollars and fifty-seven cents.” “A-thank you, kind sir,” Rafe said as he hung up. Logan’s heart pounded in his ears at the automated voice’s words. “Did that thing just say we have a million dollars?” he stammered. “Ah do believe so,” Rafe snickered, still in Robert Quinn’s voice. “It looks lahk we’re gonna have ourselves a guhd time tonight.” “Holy fuck that’s a lot of money!” Logan could barely keep Shadow on the road because of his shaking hands. “I thought we’d hit it big back in Vegas, but a million dollars? And a credit card with no limit?” “That’s a lot of herb, bro!” Rafe jumped up and down in the se
Dark Elves Harem Chapter 94
“Hey, us mortals don’t all have magical magicfire powers or giant, super-strong demons or supernatural pets,” Logan argued. “We have to settle for the things we accomplish with our own two hands, our creative minds, and our blood, sweat, and tears. That bridge is one of those accomplishments.” “‘Merica,” Rafe added.“We have a famous bridge as well,” Abina spoke up. “It goes across the River of Souls and is guarded by a demon that the Egyptians called Xsf-Xmw.”“Uh, is Abina having a stroke?” Rafe asked.“Exactly,” the curvy woman continued. “That’s why we just call him Xavier.”“He’s actually quite friendly, once you get to know him,” Beth acknowledged. “His little unicorn horn is adorable as well.” “There’s a unicorn man guarding the main bridge in Hell?” Logan asked with a chuckle as he turned Shadow onto the exit for the Golden Gate Bridge.“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kelda shot back. “He’s a demon with a deer head and a single horn. Unicorns don’