Doppelgänger

15. Final Decision

[ZACK'S POINT OF VIEW]

The dim glare from the lights on the street corners is an additional source of light after the light from the moon shines beautifully from above the Earth. Now only that light accompanies me when I put my legs back together with all the courage to leave the house for the second time. My current goal is only one, namely, to visit the last home of Gayden—my pet dog first, before actually going to district two the day after tomorrow.

Gayden had indeed died exactly one week after what happened in the woods.

One small memory I could recall yesterday made me miss that poor animal. Since Gayden is gone, I am not looking for another dog to be adopted and cared for, it is tough for me to replace the heroic figure of Gayden, who has always been there and kept right beside me since I was little. It wouldn't be easy to erase and replace his figure with a new one.

I passed a road that I still remember very well even though it's been a long time since I've visited here, I even forgot the last time I saw Gayden—because I was too busy thinking about how I could live in what people said about me. As far as I can remember, Gayden's last house was not too far from my first entrance because I deliberately buried the dog close to a big tree so that later on, if I wanted to visit like this, I wouldn't have any trouble finding it, after all, if given a standard a place that would be easier to remember the way of comings and goings right?

It didn't take long for me to get here, Gayden's last halfway house was straightforward to find. I squatted down and then cleaned some dry leaves around his grave, I also removed some of the dirt that was there, I just want Gayden to sleep comfortably here. I smiled a little as I looked at a medium-sized wooden block with Gayden's name engraved on it, still strong in the memory that, at that time, my mother had written it because I couldn't bring myself to write my dog's name on the wooden block.

Visiting Gayden was a wrong choice, I know that because I could easily cry because I miss him too much. Without even realizing it, there started to tears gathering in the corners of my eyes and could fall at any time without my needing to predict them, but I wiped them quickly. I didn't want Gayden to be sad if he saw me crying from where he is now.

"Hi, Gayden," I said in a low voice. There was a hint of hope in hearing the dog call as it used to every time I called him. "I really miss you. Sorry, I rarely come anymore. My goal is to come now because I'm confused. I used to tell you a lot about my complaints, but now I can't tell anyone anymore. I'm confused because I have a question that I don't even know if it can be answered or not.”

I tried so hard to hold back my tears about to fall, but the tears just dripped down to wet my cheeks. In this situation, I need Gayden to calm me down like before. I miss Gayden, I miss you so much. “I'm afraid, Gayden ... I'm afraid that the confusion I'm still thinking about now will become real. I'm too scared to guess because I'm not ready to face the truth.”

In the long silence, when the sun begins to sink and turns the world into pitch black, only my sobbing must sound very painful to anyone who hears it. If there were a father and mother here, I'm sure they would scold me entirely afterward because he said that missing Gayden like this made the animal's long sleep not restful. I should have let it go so he could be calm and not have to worry about me, who no longer has anyone.

But who cares, my mother and father aren't here now, so let me cry as much as possible. There are too many thoughts that fill my head, at least let me feel relieved for a motherent by crying, let me shed all my feelings right now.

I can only pray that no one from ORION sees me here. Although I was pretty sure that wouldn't happen, after observing district one for the past few days, I had doubts that they were actually in the center of this city because I had never met them since day one. If they were there, I should have been caught a long time ago, given that I'm not good at martial arts to fight back.

I don't know, and maybe they're hiding or hunting in another area, leaving the area in district one where I am now deserted. I shook my head quickly as my head started spinning. I don't want to think about ORION, so let me just chill with Gayden.

Father used to tell me that Gayden's death was caused by an infected wound from his fight with a stray dog the previous week. My parents have made various attempts to save Gayden's life, they have tried to treat it, but it didn't work, Gayden in the end, it could not be saved. At that time, I believed all the reasons given because I thought maybe the wound was severe that it could not be treated. I finally grieved because Gayden was gone, leaving me alone, who still had no friends then.

After what happened these past few days, I accidentally found a coincidence I didn't want to believe. These coincidences suddenly popped up in my head when I remembered about the flashes and death of Gayden a few years ago—which, if I need to clarify that I had never seen those flashes again until now, then about the Telepathic abilities that both of my parents had. I don't know for sure, and I can only feel that there seems to be something my parents are hiding regarding that ability. Lastly, I have to go first to the urban district and not just leave the house.

Incidentally, what I found was about my father and mother, who didn't seem to tell me to look for something here. But the two of them had deliberately kept me away from the house so that I would not see what would happen to the two of them there.

There must be a reason I never got to see their doppelgangers, but instead found them dead after accidentally seeing the flashes of Gayden's death, who also died near the two of them. Then about Gayden's death which is not the same as the flash, I could see. I just feel that it seems like Gayden was purposely made to die earlier so that I can no longer see flashes of the same from him. However, some of me still resist the speculation and think that maybe I was hallucinating at that time because I was too shocked by Gayden the injured.

But again, when I try to think positively about my parents. I returned to find an awkwardness in everything that I had understood.

After all, how could my father know when it was the right time for ORION to come to the countryside and how could he know I would be safer in urban district one than if I was home with them? Did they know that ORION was coming for the two of them, so I was the one who was ordered to leave early so I wouldn't witness how they would both die?

My head was too evil to guess, but my feeling firmly said that my going to the city seemed to have been deliberately arranged by my father and mother.

Even though too many conjectures have filled my head, I still don't want to believe all the speculations I have made. A part of my heart still believes that none of this is true. Maybe my parents have something to hide, but it's not about this. Even if it really was like that, I'm sure that they must have had a reason underlying this action—even if it had to be willing to sacrifice Gayden so that I wouldn't get hurt in the future, which without them knowing that this action was more painful for me to feel right now.

I used to start feeling lonely after the death of my dog and became more closed off to those around me, you could even say that I never told my father and mother about all the problems that happened to me because I didn't want to make them worry even if they finally really find out for themselves after what happened to me in high school.

I always try to look okay, even though it's not like that.

"Gayden, I don't want to believe this. But I'm worried about mother and father. What if it turns out that the vision I've seen through you is happening right now? What if it turns out that my father and mother's deaths will happen soon—or have already happened without my knowing it? I'm afraid my preconceived notions about them purposely blocking my sight from their doppelgangers are true… what if something bad happens to them over there?”

As a child who has lived with his father and mother for almost twenty years, I cannot lie to myself that the fact is that I am very, very worried right now. I want to run and approach them there, but I know I can't do that easily. Not with the fact that today has entered the sixth day, where the turn of the afternoon into the night just happened a few minutes ago, which I should have received news from my parents regarding the journey that I will be taking tomorrow.

But, until now, I still haven't received any news from either or both of them.

"Zack, father will call you in three days, exactly one day before you move into district two. Take good care of yourself and be careful, don't forget to memorize a few paths so you can move more easily. Stay alert to your surroundings. But, Zack, just in case, I wanted to tell you... If Mother and Father don't call you later on the sixth day, you should still go the next day, okay? Don't wait for both of us. If we can, we will talk to you. However, if you can't, please keep doing it according to our plan together."

My father had indeed informed me about the possibility of them not being able to contact me on the sixth day and they gave orders that I had to go even if there was no news from the two of them. I couldn't wait for any news.

At that time, my father didn't give me a chance to argue because they immediately stopped communicating. Even though I wanted to protest that I didn't want to go if the two of them didn't contact me, I needed to confirm directly by hearing mother and father's voices to convince myself that everything was fine.

But now I'm worried about them.

If it's like this, I can't do anything. But I still want to hold hope from the remaining time before the turn of the day arrives. I want to wait a little longer before deciding what decision to make later.

Should I continue my journey or return to the forest to find my parents?