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Euforia 59. Indecision
For some reason, the face of the woman who had appeared many times before now began to fill my head."My mother... you want to show me how the memories of my mother aren't that scary, so that I can open up, right?"I tried to banish the image of that face from my mind, but it seemed to be getting harder and harder. I felt disturbed and anxious, as if there was something I should know but couldn't reach. I tried to recall memories of my mother, but all that came up were vague and indistinct images.I couldn't connect the dots, which frustrated me even more. "What should I do?" I muttered to myself.Just as I was trying to gain consciousness to focus on what to do, a soft voice suddenly sounded in my ear. "Mom is always by your side, even if it's only in memories now. Don't worry, open your heart, and let the memories with Mom shine in your life."It would have been a relief if it had been the real thing. But unfortunately, it was just wishful thinking. I turned to Lily and stared at he
Euforia 60. Absence of Feeling
"Lily I will never really leave. However, remember this one thing: you"Lily I will never really leave. However, remember this one thing: you can never purify me. You're only trying to cause yourself more harm by forcing me to live according to your wishes." I stared at Lily as if she were just a dark shadow in my heart.I hate reality. I hate miracles. But I always knew clearly why those feelings were so lingering. The answer was only one: it was because of my incompetence that things were difficult. And I started blaming everything. That's how I made my heart hurt less.***"I told you. Isn't taking care of humans the same as making things difficult?" Poppy gave Lily a disappointed look.Lily laughed bitterly. "I knew that. Even before you told me. But how could I possibly let my feelings pass me by?""You're stupid." Poppy tried to help Lily up. She glanced at Lily's scar. "You might ignore it. But I'm sure it must hurt like hell.""It doesn't hurt because you're showing me you car
Euforia 61. The blood I drew
I raised my hand and saw that there was blood there. My hand was covered in blood...I don't know where the blood came from. But... I'm very familiar with this feeling.My heart raced as I looked at my bloodied hands. It was very difficult for me to ignore that feeling, as if I had experienced it before. Then, my memory suddenly felt so shocking.I vaguely recalled stabbing someone and leaving them seriously injured.This blood on my hand seemed to symbolize that memory again. The pain and sadness associated with that loss felt so strong within me. I felt an emptiness in my heart, as if nothing could fill my life again.The blood on my hands reminded me of a wound that hadn't fully healed. But underneath the sadness, I also felt an indescribable connection to the person who had left. There seemed to be a tenderness amongst this blood, sweeping away the sadness in my heart. I felt a sense of calm in this sadness.Looking at my bloodstained hands, I remembered that life is a journey fill
Euforia 62. Dia yang Datang dalam Keputusaan Final S1
"We have to go!" Poppy tugged on Lily's hand, trying to lead her away."Why are you in such a hurry?" Lily was confused as to why Poppy seemed to be in such a hurry, she wasn't usually like this."I'll explain later." Poppy quickly took Lily running along with her.Lily, who was confused, just followed Poppy's wishes and let herself run with Poppy.But when they both tried to run, they avoided something. But finally they suddenly stopped."Doggone it!" Poppy growled. She then pulled Lily and hid her behind her body.A skeletal figure with black wings stood in front of the two and seemed to be preventing them from leaving."I'm not sure that you two decided to run away. Shouldn't you be punished for trespassing?" The skull flew casually in front of Poppy and Lily."I've never even felt ruled by a strange creature like you. Have you forgotten that I am a high existence?" Poppy showed her high self-esteem.The skull laughed, the sound of its laughter was so strange that it sounded like t
Euforia 01. Step Taking
Maybe I've forgotten how to eat. The food that goes into my mouth doesn't even taste like anything anymore. The last time I ate, it was probably when I let that piece of raw meat into my mouth."You should eat. Haven't you noticed that your body is getting thinner?" The girl thrust a brown piece of meat into my mouth.I closed my mouth tightly, looking at her with a look of dislike on my face. "How can you even think of eating at a time like this?"The girl raised her eyebrows. "We're fed; we should eat. What's so hard about filling your stomach? You barely even ate for three days. I wonder what's keeping you going this far?" The girl's words even sounded like an insult to me.If the person I was facing right now wasn't a girl, I would have kicked her.***"If your sins can't be paid, then pay with your money." Those words rang in my ears. The man in the distinctive judge's robe looked at me with pity. Getting a look like that made me feel uncomfortable. I felt looked down upon, even
Euforia 02. Intention
I never really intended to live my life well. For my entire life, I did what the people around me wanted me to do. I never really got what I wanted. I honestly felt empty. Even knowing where my own emotions were, I struggled. Too many difficulties and vague fears filled my head. I wondered where it all came from. Have they been with me since I was born? It was a bit scary if that were true."I don't know," I replied in a low voice.The man in the black suit gave me a strange look. "You're very strange. Normally people would say yes as soon as they're offered this much money." He pulled out his teacup and sipped slowly.I looked down at his words. "Money isn't everything. Even if you believe there is an afterlife, I'm not sure you can take that money with you. Either buy luxurious things in heaven or bribe the demons in hell to reduce your punishment.""Are you seriously telling me that?" the man said with a strange smile.I raised my face. "Is there something strange about my words?"
Euforia 03. Fear
Last night's nightmare kept me on edge until the next morning. I spread butter on my toast so many times that I almost ran out of butter. This compulsive behavior emerges when anxiety strikes.The girl's laughter was ringing in my ears. I felt like I was going crazy. The harder I tried to forget her, the more often she appeared. Is she a demon? Could this be karma for my lazy churchgoing?Over an anxiety-filled breakfast, I searched for job openings on my smartphone. Even though I had agreed to the crazy offer from that strange man, I still wanted a normal job with a normal income rather than the strange job he was offering.***There were some files that I still had to take care of at the college before I graduated. So I decided to go to campus this morning. Staying at home stresses me out anyway.On my way to campus, I saw a girl in a school uniform passing in front of me. At first, I was indifferent to her. Until I saw her face and remembered the photo that the strange man had give
Euforia 04. Obake
"Don't you look more like a pervert?" Suddenly, I heard a girl's voice not far from me.I tried to find the origin of the voice until I felt my foot being stepped on by something. The pain radiated, and I was surprised to find a young girl standing in front of me with a sharp gaze.Not understanding the girl's intentions, I just tried to avoid her. She's just a strange girl who likes to stir up trouble, I guess."Are you ignoring me?" "Perverts always act like they don't know their manners!" she cursed.Hearing her curse made my ears burn. It was obvious that she was the one looking for trouble. I wondered in my heart if it was true that this girl was drunk."Are you drunk? Wait a minute; you even still look like a minor. How can you possibly drink liquor?" I gave the girl a sharp look.The girl clucked in annoyance. She kicked my leg, but I quickly dodged her. I didn't understand her violent behavior."You threatened me with that?" She didn't seem scared at all and challenged him bac
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- Euforia
62. Dia yang Datang dalam Keputusaan Final S1
"We have to go!" Poppy tugged on Lily's hand, trying to lead her away."Why are you in such a hurry?" Lily was confused as to why Poppy seemed to be in such a hurry, she wasn't usually like this."I'll explain later." Poppy quickly took Lily running along with her.Lily, who was confused, just followed Poppy's wishes and let herself run with Poppy.But when they both tried to run, they avoided something. But finally they suddenly stopped."Doggone it!" Poppy growled. She then pulled Lily and hid her behind her body.A skeletal figure with black wings stood in front of the two and seemed to be preventing them from leaving."I'm not sure that you two decided to run away. Shouldn't you be punished for trespassing?" The skull flew casually in front of Poppy and Lily."I've never even felt ruled by a strange creature like you. Have you forgotten that I am a high existence?" Poppy showed her high self-esteem.The skull laughed, the sound of its laughter was so strange that it sounded like t
- Euforia
61. The blood I drew
I raised my hand and saw that there was blood there. My hand was covered in blood...I don't know where the blood came from. But... I'm very familiar with this feeling.My heart raced as I looked at my bloodied hands. It was very difficult for me to ignore that feeling, as if I had experienced it before. Then, my memory suddenly felt so shocking.I vaguely recalled stabbing someone and leaving them seriously injured.This blood on my hand seemed to symbolize that memory again. The pain and sadness associated with that loss felt so strong within me. I felt an emptiness in my heart, as if nothing could fill my life again.The blood on my hands reminded me of a wound that hadn't fully healed. But underneath the sadness, I also felt an indescribable connection to the person who had left. There seemed to be a tenderness amongst this blood, sweeping away the sadness in my heart. I felt a sense of calm in this sadness.Looking at my bloodstained hands, I remembered that life is a journey fill
- Euforia
60. Absence of Feeling
"Lily I will never really leave. However, remember this one thing: you"Lily I will never really leave. However, remember this one thing: you can never purify me. You're only trying to cause yourself more harm by forcing me to live according to your wishes." I stared at Lily as if she were just a dark shadow in my heart.I hate reality. I hate miracles. But I always knew clearly why those feelings were so lingering. The answer was only one: it was because of my incompetence that things were difficult. And I started blaming everything. That's how I made my heart hurt less.***"I told you. Isn't taking care of humans the same as making things difficult?" Poppy gave Lily a disappointed look.Lily laughed bitterly. "I knew that. Even before you told me. But how could I possibly let my feelings pass me by?""You're stupid." Poppy tried to help Lily up. She glanced at Lily's scar. "You might ignore it. But I'm sure it must hurt like hell.""It doesn't hurt because you're showing me you car
- Euforia
59. Indecision
For some reason, the face of the woman who had appeared many times before now began to fill my head."My mother... you want to show me how the memories of my mother aren't that scary, so that I can open up, right?"I tried to banish the image of that face from my mind, but it seemed to be getting harder and harder. I felt disturbed and anxious, as if there was something I should know but couldn't reach. I tried to recall memories of my mother, but all that came up were vague and indistinct images.I couldn't connect the dots, which frustrated me even more. "What should I do?" I muttered to myself.Just as I was trying to gain consciousness to focus on what to do, a soft voice suddenly sounded in my ear. "Mom is always by your side, even if it's only in memories now. Don't worry, open your heart, and let the memories with Mom shine in your life."It would have been a relief if it had been the real thing. But unfortunately, it was just wishful thinking. I turned to Lily and stared at he
- Euforia
58. The destruction of fragile lies
Just because I saw those traumatic events, did it make me falter? I feel like I'm being played, my heart and mind are really being played. I... I don't want things like this to keep happening.I stared at the mysterious figure intently. "Hey... are you doing all this on purpose to make my heart waver?" I accused her.The mysterious figure looked at me with a mysterious smile. "Are you sure that I'm responsible for all this?" she said in a low voice.I frowned, confused by his answer. "Who else could have done it? I don't understand why I have to keep being haunted by these traumatic events. Do you want to hurt or test me?"The mysterious figure shook his head, "I am not the cause of all this. I am merely a mirror that shows you what is in your heart. Don't look outside, look inside yourself."Her words made me even more confused. I began to ponder and rethink what she said. After a while, I realized that it was true. The trauma and uncertainty actually came from the decisions and atti
- Euforia
57. Broken Faith
"Want to see something else?" the figure asked me.I swallowed. It seemed like this figure had a tremendous influence. Not only did he show me how horrible things could happen. He seemed to open me up to see everything that didn't make sense and I always refused to believe.And it was all proven when he took me to a place. He took me to a mental hospital."Are you ready?" he asked me.I gulped once more. No, I wasn't ready. But my fear couldn't stop the curiosity inside me. I nodded slowly, and we walked towards the entrance of the asylum.We went through the dark and forbidding hallways. The atmosphere was eerie, with faint whispering voices and steps heard in the distance. My heart was racing, anxiety engulfing me, but I continued my steps steadily.The figure opened the door to the first room. I entered the room hesitantly, and inside stood several patients with unnatural facial expressions. Some were smiling madly, some were constantly trembling, some were talking incessantly. Loo
- Euforia
56. The woman who burned with regret
They're the ones burning in my life. I feel very frustrated. Could it be that this is one of the feelings that makes me feel restless.I myself was never sure whether I could be said to be living my life well or not. My parents, my friends, or anyone else in my life. I don't know why I feel unsure.I feel like my life is full of people who only ruin my happiness. They often make me feel emotionally up and down, and I don't understand why I can't break away from them.Maybe I love people too much and let them into my life without determining what I really want. Or maybe I was too afraid of appearing selfish if I decided to separate from them.However, I realized that life is only once and I have to fight for my own happiness. I have to learn to detach myself from the people who are poisoning my mind and determine who is worth keeping in my life.Maybe it's time to evaluate the relationships in my life and fix what needs to be fixed. I believe that by taking action like this, I can achi
- Euforia
55. A World in Disarray
I don't know why. But lately, I feel that I'm feeling strange. My feelings as well as my thoughts feel so chaotic, it's like I can't control myself."Are you okay?" asked Lily, the little girl I helped when she dropped her fruit basket. Since then, that little girl has been hanging out with me."No, I'm not. I've been feeling weird lately," I complained.Lily was silent, and somehow in my eyes, she looked like she knew something but didn't want to tell me.I really wanted to ask her, but the sensitive Lily seemed to be trying to divert it. It was like she didn't want to tell me and just changed the subject."Do you know something Lili?"Lily just kept quiet. But her gestures showed that she felt like she was agitated.Seeing Lily's reaction, I felt even more curious about what was really going on. However, I also felt bad about forcing her to tell me what she knew. Maybe there was some reason why she didn't want to tell me.But it seemed like Lily just felt more and more uncomfortable
- Euforia
54. Strange as Poison
In his subconscious, Regen stood tall with confidence. "I will no longer hide you," he told the voice inside him. "We are complementary parts of ourselves. I will become stronger by accepting you."Back in the real world, Graiss saw Regen become calmer in his sleep. The anxious expression on his face began to disappear.***"Did I speak in my sleep earlier?" asked Regen worriedly.Graiss nodded. "You were babbling."Regen sighed heavily. His consciousness was really getting worse now. He knew very well that it seemed like he was starting to realize something was wrong with himself.Regen felt really messed up. Especially when he remembered how his other self appeared in his dreams."I really feel terrible right now Graiss," Regen muttered desperately. For some reason he felt like he was undergoing a violent onslaught. The turmoil felt so intense inside his head."Are you okay, Regen?" Graiss was really worried about Regen's condition.Regen did not answer, he just held his head and lo
