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2024-10-29 19:42:56She was devastated. Destroyed. There was nothing left of her. Nothing left in her.
She was no more. The one person that she held dear the most was no more. She wept. She cried. Her eyes were burning. She had cried, and, cried, and cried. But no matter what, she won't get her back.
But more than that, it was the words that she left behind for Ito. What she had said to her in the hospital room.
Why?
Was it just her imagination?
Did it mean she had been going around it the wrong way? For the past five years. The way she had lived up until now wasn't the correct way?
Then, what of it? What should she make of her past five years of living? Was it meaningless? Did it hold no value?
Then, what about the person named Ito Yua?
The actions she undertook, the choices she made, in these five years, is what defined her today, what she is today. If those choices were wrong, if those experiences were meaningless, then did that mean h
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How My Life Was Ruined 021: My/His Words
Shizuku Aina was in her class, eating her lunch with her friends.She usually ate in the cafeteria but after a certain encounter with a certain someone, she has stopped going there. She is afraid she might run into him again. Why is she afraid? Even Aina herself doesn't know the answer to that.It had been more than a week now that she had started having lunch in the classroom. And she had to admit, it had its own perks. For example, she was able to talk freely and without restraint which she had to take into consideration while eating in the cafeteria. After all, if she were to talk loudly it might disturb the others. But she had no such worries. She felt like her food had started tasting better although it was the same.In the middle of her fun lunchtime, her phone vibrated notifying her that she had received a message. She felt a bit annoyed by whoever had sent the message and hindered her peaceful time. However, after checking who the sender was she was even
How My Life Was Ruined 022: Wrapping Things Up
Spurred on by my words Yamamoto ran towards the infirmary. I was following behind him at a slightly slower pace. Envisioning the grisly spectacle that I was sure we would be coming face to face with in a bit, my lips curled up.Just as we were approaching the door, sounds of horror reached our ears. Yamamoto's body tensed up.Someone was screaming.Someone was laughing maniacally.Someone was throwing something at something.Yamamoto sped up. He wasted no time in opening the door then he was dumbstruck. He stood there like a stupefied mummy. Unable to think anything. Unable to parse the information."Hey, Yamamoto!" I screamed right by his ears.His body jolted as if woken up from a nightmare. Sadly for him, the reality was even more nightmarish.Kaizaki was about to pierce Aina with a sharp needle."Oh-oh." It would be really bad if he hits her with that. I took large strides to reach him as f
How My Life Was Ruined 023: A Third Chance
Yamamoto could clearly hear the sound of the door closing.What Kageyama said just now was reverberating and echoing inside his head. It was as if Kageyama had opened what he had locked away in his treasure chest with so many locks with a single click. What he regretted the most. What scared him the most.But, it was not a lie. What Kageyama said wasn't a lie in any way. They were all true. That was why it stung so much more.He had already given up. Back then. And even now; he was almost about to give up. No. He had actually given up thinking he was late again. There was now nothing he could do.But his words were ringing inside. He couldn't discern what the actual words were but somehow they were motivating him to not sit and idle and take action this time.So, what?He had now failed for the second time. So, what? It doesn't matter. He is going to try for the third time. He has a clear chance this time around. He will no
How My Life Was Ruined 024: Just Why?
Friday.It has now been a week since that incident.Although I had made sure it didn't spread around the school by contacting the Director as soon as possible and leading Aina to the dorm instead of her class to get her belongings, it seems someone had heard a scream in the infirmary and found out about what had happened.Though they didn't know the exact details, rumors were going around that Ito Yua was attacked by a third-year student called Kaizaki and attempted to rape her. The school pulled different strings to keep things under the wrap but it didn't stop the students' mouths from running off. It seems this incident hasn't reached the media which is probably due to the old hag's efforts and influence.One thing that surprised me was the change in attitudes. Both in boys and girls.For boys, they seemed relieved. Maybe they kind of understood what Kaizaki must have been feeling. I mean, every one of them was smitten by Ito Yua and many must h
How My Life Was Ruined 025: It Was Not Meaningless
"...Ah!" My eyes felt heavy and I was having trouble opening them. With much effort, I half-opened my eyes and saw a white ceiling. It was completely white as if I was in a hospital. I turned my head sideways and saw that there was someone. "Oh? You awake?" It was a masculine voice; one that sounded familiar. I propped myself up in the bed with my hands and looked around. It really was a hospital. A scent peculiar to hospital rooms reached my nose. I realized that I was in a hospital bed. No wonder my back hurt. But, why was I here? I pressed my hand on my head and tried to remember. "Ah, that's right. The old hag..." I was in her office. I remember yelling something at her, her smiling face, and the moment I passed out. "The Director said you fainted because of high blood pressure and brought you here." I looked at Yamamoto. "Why are you here?" "I was visiting Yua and then met the Director on the way. She told me what had happ
How My Life Was Ruined 026: I Was Afraid
After two days of getting out of the hospital, I headed to the grave.There was a small stall outside the entrance where an elderly woman was selling flowers. I decided to buy some.I bought lilys and chrysanthemums in yellow and white and handed her the money."You seem fine today.""Hmm? What do you mean?" I was startled. I didn't know what she was talking about out of nowhere. Although I remember seeing her around here, this was the first time I had talked to her or greater she had talked to me."Whenever you come here you always seem like you are suffering so much and want to run away but today there is not a trace of that. So I was a bit surprised."No. It was me who was surprised. This old woman had been watching me? But I don't remember her keeping an eye on me. However, she was correct. Whenever I came here, it was so that I can escape from everything. She was completely true. But today was different."Well, today I a
How My Life Was Ruined 027: The Hospital Room
ITO AKEMI (ITO YUA'S MOTHER) POV:"Yua-chan, think about it carefully, okay? And please, I beg you. Stop all this. Don't go down the same path your mother did. It is meaningless."I looked at my daughter's lovely face.She was looking as if her world had crumbled. It was definitely true as well. After all, what I said was akin to disregarding the life she had led until now.It was unbearable for me to watch that expression on my cute daughter's face.If not for that boy, I would have never known what she was up to. Haruto-kun never told me. Probably so I wouldn't worry much. He is such a nice kid.Yua-chan slowly got up. She said nothing. She silently and listlessly went out of the room. I was worried sick but I can't do anything. All I can do is wait and believe in that boy.I remember his words vividly. His every word is ringing inside my head continuously.I don't know why but the words that boy spoke carrie
How My Life Was Ruined 028: Beautiful
The atmosphere in Kageyama's class was weird. Everyone was on edge and everyone was looking in the direction where a certain student had just entered from.Ito Yua, well aware of the gazes on her, did her best to suppress the nervousness and went to her seat. She put her bag down and to everyone's surprise slowly made her way towards the front of the classroom.On the spot where Maki - their homeroom teacher - usually stood, she turned around to face the students in the class.She clenched her fists. She took a large breath in and tried to stabilize herself. She closed her eyes. When she opened them, determination could be seen clearly.She surprised her classmates yet again when she bowed her head and said, "I am sorry."Her words echoed off the classroom walls. The class was dead silent except for the words Ito had said just now.With her head still leaning towards the floor, she continued speaking, "I know that you must all be bewildered
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- How My Life Was Ruined
Afterword
If you are reading this afterword instead of reading the story, then, please go and read the story first! However, if you are here after following the gruesome journey and the end of Kageyama Kage, then, I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart to have given this novel a chance. Now, then, about this story. You know, we humans, are contradictory in nature. In the little things we do and speak, there is always a small contradiction there. We might fail to notice them, but it doesn't mean we don't contradict ourselves. Similarly, we humans, also go through our fair share of hardships and pain. It is inevitable. I have had my fair share of them and you all have too. This story, 'How My Life Was Ruined', is a story where the contradiction is exaggerated - no - overexaggerated and at the same time, I (being the overthinker I am) took the various problems people around me faced and converted it into a story. A story where we don't see a redemption arc. A story where all that await
- How My Life Was Ruined
130: The End And The Beginning
Furukawa Maya and Maki were in the Director’s room.The atmosphere was gloomy and heavy.No one said a word but they both knew what was on their minds.“So we failed to save him.” Maki was the one to say that sentence. She clenched her fists and bit her lips. She had failed to save the person her dear sister had been trying to protect. As a sister, she had failed to fulfill her duties and that realization left a bitter taste in her mouth.“No point in beating yourself over that. The moment Kaya died, everything was as good as hopeless.”That had been the last straw.Kaya had been the one to have held Kageyama down to this world. She had cast chains on him and shackled him. But when she died, the chains came off and he plunged to his doom.No, even after that, there was still a chance to save him. If not for the girl, Hayami. The girl that didn’t exist. The girl that never existed in the first place.“Hallucination, was it?” Maki spoke.After Kageyama’s death, the Director told her abo
- How My Life Was Ruined
129: After The End - III
Aina had been hurt by the news of Kageyama Kage's death.The shock was so much that when she first learned of the truth she ended up fainting on the spot.Even after regaining her consciousness, she hadn’t been able to stomach the truth. The fact that the one she had loved was no more in this world had left her unable to think of anything for a long while.She continued to think. Day and night without an ounce of sleep.Why? Why did Kageyama end his life? She knew why he did. She knew of his whole story. Any normal person would have ended his life long ago if they had had to go through such hardships and pain. The fact that Kage had managed to act like a normal person when he had such a heavy history dragging him down was nothing sort of miracle.But, still, there were many questions she wanted to know the answers to.Like, why did they allow Kageyama the opportunity to end his life?Hadn’t the Director assured her that they were trying to prevent that from happening? She had seen tha
- How My Life Was Ruined
128: After The End - II
The news of Kageyama’s death had saddened both Yamamoto and Ito.For Yamamoto, Kageyama had been a good friend. He even considered him his best friend. That was how much he trusted and not to mention admired him.Kageyama had been his savior. Crushed by the guilt that he hadn’t been able to save Yua back then and unable to take any action, he had already given up. The one who gave him the push to take action and make things right was none other than Kageyama. If he hadn’t come into his life, then he wouldn’t have been able to do anything. He would have most definitely remained frozen as always while he watched Yua suffer more and more every day and he kept lamenting. Kageyama was his hero. And so he was for Yua as well.Yamamoto knew that Yua was in love with Kageyama. Although he was hurt, he didn’t hate him. In fact, he thought it was inevitable that she falls in love with him. He had saved her from what seemed like an impossible situation. He had dragged her out of that muddy world
- How My Life Was Ruined
127: After The End - I
The news had made headlines across the country.No matter which channel Nakamura switched to, everywhere, it was the same news, the same grisly spectacle and the same pain of having lost someone important assaulted her.She shouldn’t have been surprised. He had tried to end his life once. It shouldn’t have been surprising that he would try to do the same. What was surprising was how short the interval between his attempted suicide and death was. She had expected the authorities to take some action to prevent that from happening and they did take action and kept him under surveillance but he had somehow managed to escape and end his life.She turned off the TV and sat on the floor facing the veranda.A cold wind blew and sent her hair flying. She looked to her right. There was no one.If he had been alive, he would probably be outside on the veranda.If he had been alive. But the fact was that he wasn’t.Nakamura knew that Kageyama had wanted to end his life. She always had thought tha
- How My Life Was Ruined
126: The End Of The Story
“Finally.”I muttered as I stood on the edge of the rooftop holding hands with Hayami.The cold wind ruffled our hairs.I was battered. Bruise covered my body here and there and there was also a gun wound on my lower leg. Hayami had ripped her skirt to tie it around my leg to prevent blood loss. Although I found it hilarious that she was trying to prevent the blood loss of someone who was going to die soon, I didn’t speak a word and let her do her work.“We can finally die.”Although I had wanted to go in a grand way, this was good in its own way. It gave me the adrenaline rush that made my spirit pump even more.Suicide?No.Don’t term what we are about to do with something as petty and cowardly as suicide.It was the only good thing that I was going to do ever in my life. Everyone should be overjoyed that I was about to remove a corrupt and wretched existence from this world.My life, not only was it meaningless, it was sought with suffering, pain, chaos, betrayal, deceit, and every
- How My Life Was Ruined
125: The Escape
I went back and sat down on my earlier seat.My mom came out of the bathroom after a few minutes.Her face was wet. She probably washed her face so that she could hide the fact that she was crying. But her red eyes gave it away. The pain was still there in her face.I handed her the towel lying on the sofa. She dried her face with that and shortly after the old hag came in.I took out my phone and started scrolling through the feed on social media. Though I was still paying keen attention to the old hag.Hmm.Just then I noticed the two of them make eye contact. It was nothing unusual but it definitely caught my attention.The time was 3 in the morning. I ended up staying awake all night today.“Furukawa-san, why don’t you stay till morning? You probably are hungry with all the speaking and work. I will whip up something quickly and you can take a short nap to give some rest to your body till the morning.”“Hmm.” The old hag seemed to be thinking about her proposal and eventually, she
- How My Life Was Ruined
124: I Have Never Hated you
For the next five minutes after my mom dashed to the bathroom, no one spoke. I feel like these long and short stretches of silence in the middle of conversations were happening a lot to me. Was it a meaningful silence or a meaningless one? Did the silence speak louder than the words or was it just and merely silence? I don’t know.“She sure is taking long. What must she be doing?” The old hag broke the silence with a meaningful question.“Yeah, I wonder what.”Although I knew what she wanted to hear from me, I played the fool. I knew what she was doing in the bathroom. She was without a doubt crying her eyes out hurt by the scathing words of her own son.The old hag gave me a smile as if she had seen that coming.“Putting aside your words that you being born itself was the root of it all, don’t you feel angry?”“Angry? Why?”“If you hadn’t learned what your mom had been doing, things wouldn’t have gone that out of hand. Let’s say if your mom hadn’t been cheating on your dad, if Nakamu
- How My Life Was Ruined
123: The One Grave Mistake
After calming down a bit, I looked down to the dining area from the stairs. The old hag was sitting there waiting for someone. And I knew that someone was me.“Hayami, you go wait for a little longer.”“Hmm. Okay~” Although, she seemed reluctant after I gave her a kiss, she went back to the room. After hearing the click of the door locking, I made my way downstairs and sat in an empty chair facing the old hag.“Why are you here?” I asked.“We heard from Aina's parents that she had run away from home and would like our help to search for her. That’s why I am here.”So I was right that she had run away from home without telling anyone.“But, why are you here? How did you know Aina would be here?” Did she know beforehand that the only place Aina will head to after running from her home under the current circumstances will be my house? I could think of the old hag arriving to that conclusion. She was quick-witted after all.“No. We just followed her path.” She continued. “We checked the C
