Chapter Seven: All By Myself

“Rebecca, free your brother. And tell me why you don’t want him to talk to me.” I didn’t mince words as I stood from where I was sitting, walking towards her.

“Do you hate me now, too? Like everyone else?” She asked, tears forming in her eyes. I hated manipulation, tears or not. And I needed to make it clear to everyone.

“Hate you? Why would I? I don’t even know you.”

That was a low blow, I agree. But I was burning with rage, and I only knew what I said was terrible when Elijah gasped and Rebecca ran out of the room. I picked up a brush by the bed stand and brushed my hair before a vanity mirror, my eyes of stormy blue reflecting the rage that sat on my chest.

“She just wanted a friend. You shouldn’t have done that.” Elijah looked at me like I was a stranger, and then he walked out of the room, probably to look for Rebecca. I wouldn’t know; I didn’t want anybody in my space right then. My anger was a lethal thing—an overdose, a toxin.

I always kept it under lock and key, but it shattered. And I didn’t know how to return to the good-natured kid I was.

So, I did the next best thing; I went to look for Rebecca too. The first few days after my arrival, she showed me around the place. It was a quaint little mansion, with trees surrounding it. And all kinds of exotic birds came to nest in those trees. She also showed me a wishing well, where she threw a stone in and made a wish.

I made a beeline for the wishing well. Of everything she showed me that day, the wishing well was the only one that belonged to her; that wasn’t part of the tour.

And I wasn’t stupid enough to disregard such an obvious sign. I made my way there. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure she’d forgive me. I said something truly terrible to her, and I couldn’t take it back. And honestly, I didn’t delude myself about it.

Words cannot be taken back. It doesn’t matter when they’re said, as long as they’ve been said. I couldn’t rewind time, and even if I could, I’d probably say the same thing. That was how angry I was.

I didn’t believe time was linear; I knew a little about quantum physics and the genetic makeup of our universe. Time couldn’t be reversed. Ever.

~~

I found her close to the wishing well, tossing stone after stone inside of it. Elijah was probably still searching, and truly, I wished him good luck. He needed the exercise.

“When I was younger, I was overly blunt. And hurt a lot of people. I started losing friends. Or maybe I never had them in the first place. I gradually found peace in being by myself, and after a while, I shunned everybody trying to come close to me. It’s funny, isn’t it? I mouthed off at you, yet you did nothing wrong. I’m sorry. I can’t take back the words I said, but I do wish to get to know you. And this world.” I was awkward at this sort of thing, and I wondered how Grace would have done it. She wasn’t always the type to care about people’s feelings.

“For the longest time, I’ve been a mimic. I don’t have a personality, and the bubbly version of myself you saw wasn’t me. I saw an old video of Marilyn Munroe, and I wanted to be her. That poise, that grace. Then, I watched classic movies and animated shows from the early 2000s, and, well, I adopted a new personality. I’m not real.”

Deep in her wallowing in self-pity, I wanted to laugh. Even though she was an adult, she still thought like a child. So, I laughed heartily, and she seemed to withdraw into herself. That wasn’t what I wanted.

“Back in the early 2000s, nobody had a personality. Our personality of the week was whatever show we resonated with. It didn’t make us any less real; it made us even more real. Since we were able to develop new habits and see the world through different lenses, I don’t know if you have heard this saying, but imitation is the highest grade of flattery. You shouldn’t feel the need to hide away just because you have a few role models. I was unnecessarily harsh on you, and it’s okay to berate me. You’re my senior anyway.” I shrugged and moved closer to her, only to see tears running down her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” I asked, confused. I wasn’t sure I said anything wrong, but I’ve never been the most tactful, and neither was I the best at dealing with people, so I definitely wasn’t a good judge of things like this.

“Nobody has ever said those words to me, and now I feel silly for running away like a petulant child. I hope you don’t think less of me,” she smiled through her tears, and I could feel a warmth blossoming in my chest.

She was like my child, even if I never had one. And seeing her that way, I could tell that I wouldn’t have made a terrible father.

“I can’t think less of you; it’s physically impossible to.” I patted her head, and she giggled. Our ages didn’t matter; I was comforting a child. That’s all there was to it.

“I looked everywhere.” Elijah came running, completely out of breath. He looked like his heart would jump out of his chest any moment from then on.

“I’ve found you guys,” he said, taking a breath, and I felt pity for him. I didn’t mean to leave him to his devices.

“Time slipper,” he said, cocking his head to the side, eyes full of malice and hate. I turned to look at Rebecca, and she had a look of shock on her face.

I was staring in open-mouthed horror.

“No, no!” I screamed.

Nothing changed.