Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56With everyone turning their attention back on track, they don't make it very far into the list before Jonathan speaks up with a confused voice.
"Wait... Alliance of Salvation? What... What kind of supervillain team name is that?" While he does a double-take and asks this out loud, he furrows his brows to the point they're practically touching. On the other hand, Lucas bursts out laughing.
"Right!? I had the same thought when I first saw 'em, so I looked 'em up. Turns out they're mainly a drug cartel, specializin' in some seriously heavy stuff. Like, whatever that dude that was harassing you this morning was on type shit. So yeah, the name weirdly makes sense in context. I'm pretty sure that if their HQ burned down, they'd probably get the entire country high. ...And give everyone cancer or some shit too." As Lucas gives this explanation, Jonathan's look of confusion clears up pretty quickly. Jonathan even chuckles a bit at the end with the mentioning of the possible scenario of their HQ burning down.
Scrolling through a few more names with other random bits of running commentary, Lucas stops to tap the screen on one organization name in particular.
"This is one I'm glad isn't nearby. Here's hoping we can steer clear of them for, uhh, forever. I heard from, er, someone, when I started getting into all of this that Sphinxoath and Thunderia are two ladies we shouldn't cross. Only learned that their org is named Authority of Mystery just recently though." As Lucas finishes saying this, Jonathan has a slightly vacant expression for a few moments, then a brief flash of surprise crosses his face that is thankfully unnoticed by the not-system-related dog. Once he is brought up to speed by 011, he nods vigorously a few times.
As Lucas starts scrolling again, he realizes he left a fingerprint on the screen of the laptop when he touched it. Frowning slightly, he tries to gently wipe it off with the edge of his pajama shirt, only managing to smear it around a bit and make it cover a larger area.
While Lucas glowers at the enhanced smudge, he pauses for a moment before going to try again with a bit more force, getting cut off by a laughing Jonathan.
"I'll do it, I'll do it. You're gonna break it if you keep going." After Jonathan successfully intercepts Lucas before he manages to crush the poor little laptop display, he gently pats the dog on his lap a few times. "Lemme get up for a minute."
Once the dog shifts his position off to the side, giving a soft bark while doing so, Jonathan goes to get a clean soft washcloth out of the linen closet before heading into the bathroom on a quest for any appropriate cleaning products potentially inside the vanity.
Not long after he disappeared out of sight into the bathroom, there is a brief startled gasp followed by the flow of running water. After a short while, there are finally the expected sounds of Jonathan rummaging around in the cabinet under the sink in pursuit of an electronics cleaner.
Once he finally comes back to the patched-up sofa, Jonathan is now wielding the previously acquired soft washcloth with a lightly dampened corner. His face is also a touch damp, he had clearly stopped to wash his face as soon as he saw his reflection.
As he wipes at the recently made smudge, he ends up leaving a distinct clean spot compared to the rest of the screen, so he ends up wiping down the whole thing. Afterward, he dries it off with the other side of the cloth. Now that he's on a cleaning spree, he goes over and wipes down the TV too while he's at it, getting a small laugh from Lucas.
While Jonathan's gaze wanders for a moment, as if looking for his next target, Lucas clears his throat and pulls his attention back to the task at hand. Jonathan is visibly startled for a moment, shyly chuckles, then tosses the used cloth into the washing machine from a moderate distance. The decidedly NOT aerodynamic bit of fabric lands neatly inside the opening, immediately displaying his superior accuracy in ranged attacks compared to Lucas.
427 can't resist giving Lucas a taunting laugh.
'Hey! Hey! Don't laugh at me when I didn't even do anything!'
[The best part is, you know exactly why I'm laughing, without any explanation.]
'HEY!'
This accomplishes absolutely nothing in regards to reducing 427's laughter. If anything, it encourages him further. As Lucas struggles to maintain a neutral facial expression, Jonathan comes back to sit down again.
Once Jonathan has reclaimed his position on the sofa, he gains a dog-shaped lap ornament in a timely fashion. The pup snuggles up against his chest for a moment before turning and facing the now-clean laptop, getting a pair of arms wrapped around him and a gentle cuddle in response.
Now Lucas is not only being annoyed by 427 continuing to mock him, but he's also jealous of the quality doggo affection happening right next to him, without his direct involvement. This is clearly an act of betrayal from the two parties involved.
While Lucas struggles to not expose his frustrations, he clears his throat once again.
"Well, you good to keep looking some more? Or maybe you've thought of something we can work with?" As Lucas genuinely tries to get back to the task at hand, which is almost a guilty admission on its own, he gets a nod from Jonathan and one bark from the pupper.
"Let's look at some more, we're not even out of the A's yet." Once Jonathan has said this, Lucas gives a nod of his own and then continues scrolling.
As they continue on for some time they alternately have various quips about the displayed names. One such example would be Lucas asking "Company of Evil Masters? Isn't that pretty much every company ever?" Which was answered purely with laughter.
When they've gotten most of the way through the C's section, Jonathan stops Lucas when he starts wondering out loud.
"Wait... Cursed Chaos Network? Why... Why does that sound familiar?" As Jonathan is lost in thought, Lucas gently bonks the top of his head with his left fist.
"That's the news station we were just watching not too long ago, sheesh. Waitaminute, shouldn't I be worried about getting the news from villains?" As Lucas answers, he then falls into his own musing state.
"Um, isn't pretty much everything run by villains though?" When Jonathan asks this with a tentative voice, the two of them end up lost in thought for a minute.
[To be fair, in the time you've spent watching their station while I'm around, they haven't really lied about anything as far as I'm aware. I'm sure they have their own fair share of propaganda whenever they're so inclined though.]
'Eh... I guess an unbiased news source would be pretty unlikely anyway... Doubly so in this world.'
[Oh?]
'Uhh, national politics were heavily tangled up with the majority of news sources where I came from. I sorta assumed supervillains would have their own vendettas too, and are even more unregulated. What with being supervillains, and all. At least, I hope they're more unregulated by comparison, that's kinda a spooky thought of its own... Ugh.'
[Hmm... As unreliable of a source of information as you are, I still can't help but be curious about an entire other world with so many apparent differences... Ah, but now isn't the time for questions either way. The three of you aren't going to be getting much sleep tonight if we keep getting distracted like this.]
'Shit, you're right.'
"Bah, no use worrying about that right now. Let's keep going, yeah?" Once Lucas has pulled them out of their own heads, he continues going through the list.
They both can't help making fun of a large portion of the names they come across as they go on. 'Doom Flock' in particular got a fair amount of laughter.
Lucas also can't resist giving amused reactions when reaching names they're already familiar with, buried in a sea of ridiculous nonsense.
'Ayyy, Danny has the first F name with Faunahorde, nice.'
[I'm pretty sure you'd end up getting terrorized by pigeons or something if you dared call him that, even if he seemed to accept you calling him Dan.]
'Now I'm somehow even more tempted?'
[...Don't blame me if the next rollback doesn't take you far enough back to undo saying it if you don't like the results.]
'You're no fun. Also; weird threat, but okay.'
[...Just saying.]
-----
Lucas kills this chapter: 0
Lucas total kills: 6
Lucas deaths this chapter: 0
Lucas total deaths: 10
Lucas current GDV: 7.27
Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)
Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)
Jonathan kills this chapter: 0
Jonathan total kills: 4
Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0
Jonathan total deaths: 2
Jonathan current GDV: 1.72 (+.01 net change)
Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)
Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)
-----
Little character theater:
Jonathan is busy cuddling the doggo while laughing at corny supervillain naming conventions.
Lucas is busy being jealous of the doggo cuddling that is occurring, while also laughing at the corny supervillain naming conventions.
The doggo is enjoying said cuddles, oblivious to Lucas's burning envy. He too is amused by the corny supervillain naming conventions.
427 is distracted while trying to speculate what world politics would be like in the absence of superpowers.
Author, shaking their head repeatedly: It's not as different as you seem to think, 427.
Mr. Quacks, wondering how he could go about requesting his own snuggles: Quack..?
Previous Chapter
Related Chapters
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch45 - Awooo!!!
Continuing on with laughing their way through the exceedingly long list of supervillain organizations, another F name catches Lucas's eye.'Oh? Floralanche? Heh, sounds like they should be neighbors with Dan.'[They practically are. They're three buildings down the block from Faunahorde. As far as I am aware, the florist shop's owner Nightshade personally tends to the growth of all of the seeds, fruit, and various other vegetation that the miscellaneous inhabitants of Faunahorde consume.]'Oh, hey. They related or something?'[Not as far as I am aware.]'Huh.'"Um... Luca
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch46 - Hamster Nest
While Jonathan is still having fun role-playing as a beam of happy sunlight, Lucas resumes scrolling through the absurdly long listing of supervillain organizations.Only a little further into the S section, Lucas bursts out laughing, bringing an abrupt end to Jonathan's LARPing session.As Jonathan's curiosity takes over, he looks at the inciting name, thinking for a brief moment before promptly joining in the laughter."How fuckin' petty do you have to be to name your organization 'Slaying Doom Flock'!? What did the boss of 'Doom Flock' do to you, bro!?" As Lucas manages to say this between bouts of laughter, he slaps his thigh as he leans forward for a moment.[It's a good thing you just got that endurance en
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch47 - Baconeggncheeseonaroll
After a blissfully peaceful night of rest, Lucas is annoyed awake by a beam of sunshine sneaking through the gaps in his curtains. Trying to escape the offending daylight, he rolls over to his other side, keeping his eyes tightly shut.As he's trying to fall back asleep, after a few seconds he notices an odd smell. Not particularly strong or offensive, but uniquely different from anything he's woken up to before.Once curiosity overwhelms his desire to attempt catching additional zzz's, he slowly opens his eyes, freezing in place for a moment while his brain catches up to current events.He's instantly reminded that he no longer lives alone perforce of the sight before him. This view being that of a surprisingly large pair of fuzzy dark brown balls about 2 inches away
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch48 - Murder Weapon
Once the majority of the contents of the bag have been demolished, Lucas is still slowly eating the last of the extra-crispy home fries with his bare hands.The pup is sprawled out on his stomach, his long spindly front legs awkwardly holding a plain bagel in place as he slowly gnaws on it, more for the sheer sake of chewing on it and not because he has any lingering hunger at this point.Jonathan has already finished eating and has washed his hands free of any lingering bacon grease, though he had notably eaten the most out of the three of them, and by no small margin either.As should be no surprise to anyone, no small amount of home fry crumbs have landed on the cursed patch of carpet. However, with the power of snoot, the dog resolved that issue quickly enough. Jon
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch49 - Brotherhood of...
Between no longer being punchy from fatigue, as well as becoming desensitized to how awful most of the names are, their continuation of going over the list of supervillain organizations doesn't grab them anywhere near as much as it had last night. There are still the occasional chuckles and bits of snark, but it is half-hearted at best in comparison.The multiple pages of names beginning with Villain, Villains, Violence, and Violent are so numbing that they're all extremely thankful they stopped when they did last night.Starting the W's earns a pause though when the very first entry is 'Wahahaha!' Needless to say, Lucas and Jonathan take turns doing their best evil laugh to try and do the name justice.Not wanting to miss out, Willy gives a warbling howl as well. This
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch50 - Suit Up
After an alarming amount of time, by 427's current standards at least, of high-intensity buzzing competition, there is still no clear winner. Nearing his breaking point, 427 finally interrupts.[It's great that you are all bonding so well, but we REALLY don't have time for this.]Lucas had been mid-buzz when 427 spoke up and the sudden mechanical voice startles him into fumbling. Willy does not hesitate to consider this a failing on his part, barking at him twice, then turning to look at Jonathan for his turn.'Hey! You could have at least waited until it wasn't my turn, jerk.'[…]'Okay, okay, you're right. Busy day and all that. Meh.
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch51 - Inadvertent Flex
When Lucas is about halfway through unlocking the series of two barrel-bolts and four locks, he pauses in the middle of his actions and looks down at Willy waiting patiently by his feet."Hey, wanna show Dan, er Black Ash Snow his lookalike?" Lucas asks the pup with a huge mischievous grin spread across his face.Willy promptly gives a single, excited, bark. After voicing his opinion, he dashes off to fetch it himself."Oh! Um, since it's right there, should we bring all three?" As Jonathan makes his timid recommendation, he gets a bark that is clearly a question based on its tone in response."Yeah, they're just across the street from each other." Lucas answers on Jonathan's behalf, and there is another enthusi
I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please Ch52 - Perilous Plasma Plaything
As Lucas continues expressing his displeasure at his severe limitations on romantic prospects, 427 tries to tune him out as hard as he can. Not that Lucas can even tell, he's far too wrapped up in stating his grievances.By the time Lucas has smiled in response to sly looks from not one, nor even only two, but three different women, he's lost most of his momentum in his mental bitching.'Eheh, the attention is pretty sweet at least.'[…]Jonathan has had greatly conflicting feelings concerning the attention he's been getting, ultimately settling on just being shy and awkward, surprising no one.However, his attempts at trying to ignore all
Latest Chapter
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 11 - System Updates
Lucas and Jonathan—dressed decently but nowhere near as fancy as yesterday—are most of the way to Cat’s Paw Cafe, pointedly not utilizing the stinky subway station to get there.‘Ya know, it’s been surprisingly peaceful, yeah? Though, not havin’ people gawk as much as yesterday is kinda nice. All that attention was gettin’ old fast.’[Ahem, well, fortunately, Boss System approved my long-term task priority filtering proposal.]‘Oh? Whassat?’[Compared to before, now it requires an opt-in before being bombarded with every single task in range. Before receiving alerts—and therefore penalties for ignoring them—we’ll run the calculations of the tasks’ estimated impact vs. potential unwanted attention. This effectively weeds out a majority of minor tasks—plus some moderate ones—by accounting for how suspicious it would be for you to know the event was taking place, let alone be believably compelled to interfere. I knew there was no need to ask if you were interested in activating it immedi
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 10 - Chosen Chores
Once the allotted thirty minutes have passed—precisely down to the second—427 tentatively undeafens Lucas. At first, all he can hear is a booklet’s pages being flipped through, followed by Lucas grumbling.Hesitantly removing the remaining sensory suppressions one at a time, 427 nearly sighs with relief upon discovering that Lucas is standing in the kitchenette by the new automatic drip coffee maker—thankfully dressed—in the midst of poorly attempting to demystify its instruction manual.‘How the hell is this so complicated?’[Ah, making good on your promise to Jonathan?]‘Oh, thank fuck; yer back. Took ya long enough.’[…Hello, again, to you, too.]‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back. So, anywho, can ya scan through this or somethin’ and tell me how to use it?’[…I already looked up the instructions from everything’s model numbers earlier. First, measure out—]427 guides Lucas through measuring and grinding a serving’s worth of coffee beans and setting it up in the machine with such in-d
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 9 - Solitary Request
For a few peaceful minutes, Lucas delights in demolishing the delicious delicatessen delivery. As Jonathan reaches for his coffee cup to gauge if it’s cool enough for a sane person to drink, he ends up cutting himself off with a yawn, earning a side-eye from Lucas.“Hey, ya barely got any sleep, yeah? Instead of havin’ caffeine, shouldn’t ya go take a nap?” Upon Lucas’s question, Jonathan pauses, looking at the contents of his mug with an obvious longing. “I’ll make ya a fresh one in like half an hour; I’m sure 427 can figure out howta use whatever newfangled machine ya got,” Lucas continues, his eyes also fixed on the beverage.[…I suppose I appreciate your vote of confidence.]Jonathan’s gaze lingers on the coveted coffee for a moment before he sets it back on the table. As soon as he lets go of it, Lucas lays his claim upon it.“Um, o-okay, yeah. I just, um, sh-should take a shower first,” Jonathan stammers as he stands.Lucas hums an agreement around a mouthful of coffee.[Did y
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 8 - Good Un-Morning
Thankfully, there are no further interruptions during the rest of this round of deliveries. Or even during the next one, either.Once Jonathan finally has the fourth and final load of freight, he makes a detour to a delicatessen. More specifically, the one where he previously purchased yesterday’s breakfast.After equally uneventfully acquiring milk, third breakfast for himself, and first breakfast for Lucas—since he’d totally only eat sugary baked goods if real food wasn’t conveniently available—he makes his way home.With his back to the recently re-locked front door, Jonathan reclaims the last armload of supplies as he looks at Lucas’s still-shut bedroom door.‘…Our food will still be too hot to eat for a little while; I’ll make some coffee first.’Jonathan may or may not be making up excuses to keep putting off waking up Lucas in the hopes that he’ll do so on his own, knowing full well that he probably won’t.While taking longer than necessary to decide which appliance to christen
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 7 - Ongoing Onerous Obligations
“Ah! Um…” Jonathan’s face scrunches up a bit as he looks over his pending purchases.‘Can we at least turn off tasks while my hands are full? I really don’t want to drop everything and have it get broken or stolen by the time I get back to it… It will be annoying enough having to run back and forth a bunch.’[Requesting temporary task suppression… Permission granted; disregarding minor tasks for one hour at no penalty, effective immediately.]Jonathan barely represses his urge to sigh with relief.Before Ji Soo works up the nerve to express concern over Jonathan’s vacant stare at the wall behind the service bot, Jonathan’s attention returns to reality and redirects to said bot.“Um, c-could you hold some of it for a few minutes once I’m done paying? I-I won’t take long… Like, five minutes?” Before fidgety Jonathan even finishes asking his question, the bot is already nodding.“Certainly. Do you wish to use a private scanning kiosk to complete your order?”‘I’m surprised it’s even an
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 6 - Whole Latte Shopping
Jonathan, however, doesn’t hear the utterance of recognition. Unaware, he continues his quest for a coffee maker.A short time later, Jonathan stands--while quietly grumbling--before a row of two-in-one coffee/espresso machines.Behind him is a sea of drip coffee machines, with cold press equipment further off to the side. Alongside the arrangement of two-in-ones sits a selection of espresso machines, both automatic and semi-automatic.‘How are there so many!? What even are the differences? Wait, no, don’t answer that. The technical details will probably just be even more confusing.’[Understood.]Although Jonathan notices movement in his peripheral vision, he doesn’t outwardly react to the recent arrival at the end of the aisle. Instead, he pulls out one of the two-in-one machines set at eye level, rotating it so he can read the back of the box.“Ah! Don’t get one of those! That entire line is overpriced trash,” the newcomer blurts out, muffled by the layers of carbon-filter fabric f
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 5 - The Worst Part of Waking Up Is Almost Endless Tasks
After the harrowing--see also; totally normal--experience of getting his hair professionally cut, Jonathan blinks a few times as he looks himself over in the mirror. ‘Oh, wow. That’s way better.’ He’s now sporting a long-top, backswept, tapered hairstyle with a rounded back. Given how clearly tense he was throughout the entire cutting process, a trendy skin fade would have fairly obviously been too much for his liking. After giving Jonathan a few moments to make his mental evaluations, one of the hairdresser’s dreadlocks uses a soft-bristle brush to clear away the loose hair clippings around the collar of the barber cape. A few other coils of his hair organize the various tools he used, setting them aside for cleaning. Meanwhile, he quickly sweeps aside the bulk of the rogue tufts of hair on the ground in a much more conventional hands-on-broom method as he uses the mirror to make eye contact with Jonathan again. “Lookin’ good, mon. Well? Whaddya tink?” His question pulls Jonath
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 4 - Coiffure Conundrum
Once Jonathan is finally en route to the hairdresser...[Safe distance from Mikah’s power detected. Alert; you have exceeded 10 GDV. You have one enhancement available.]‘Oh! Um, you said before that rank three vision should be good enough to see through Maria’s powers, right?’[Correct, rank three should be sufficient as long as her target is in motion. Rank four would be necessary to see anything stationary, given the current strength of her powers. Please be aware that going beyond rank three for any individual enhancement has additional requirements.]‘Three should be good enough to avoid most of her pranks... Use my upgrade on vision.’[Please confirm that you would like rank two vision.]‘Yeah.’[Understood. Please close your eyes during calibrations to avoid nausea.]Jonathan slows from running at enhanced speed into a normal-paced jog for a few steps, then stops and shuts his eyes.[Bzzt... Calibrations complete.]He opens his eyes and looks around, blinking several times.‘Wo
- I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please
Vol 2 Ch 3 - Chaos in the Streets, Asleep in the Sheets
The duo’s fiery funnel further forces the growing multi-car pile-up towards the middle of the street for a few seconds longer. Finally, the flames falter and fade. After a short delay, the wind wanes as well.‘Oh, I shouldn’t give them any extra reasons to think I’m a threat.’Jonathan swiftly shuts and pockets his switchblade as he follows the sidewalk. While doing so, his attention flicks between the ongoing chaos in the street and the front door of Howling Cartographer’s HQ lobby.Ashley steps through the door with Jason right behind her. They both take a moment to appreciate their destructive handiwork with smug expressions. Considering that Jonathan is conspicuously the only person still in the immediate vicinity, they quickly focus on him.Before either of them manage anything beyond a glare, Jonathan raises both hands in a submissive gesture, showing that he isn't wielding a weapon. "I-I just wanted his gun!"Ashley's exposed eye squints with amusement, the not hair-hidden cor
