I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch46 - Hamster Nest

While Jonathan is still having fun role-playing as a beam of happy sunlight, Lucas resumes scrolling through the absurdly long listing of supervillain organizations.

Only a little further into the S section, Lucas bursts out laughing, bringing an abrupt end to Jonathan's LARPing session.

As Jonathan's curiosity takes over, he looks at the inciting name, thinking for a brief moment before promptly joining in the laughter.

"How fuckin' petty do you have to be to name your organization 'Slaying Doom Flock'!? What did the boss of 'Doom Flock' do to you, bro!?" As Lucas manages to say this between bouts of laughter, he slaps his thigh as he leans forward for a moment.

[It's a good thing you just got that endurance enhancement, or you would have just accidentally crippled yourself. Though yes, that's a very petty name.]

'Hah! We would have needed to become Slaying Slaying Doom Flock! The saga continues!'

Having amused himself even further, Lucas snorts, which makes Jonathan start laughing all over again.

The pup is borderline concerned with how excessively funny Lucas seems to find this name, though Jonathan accurately suspects that 427 may have something to do with it. This assumption further serves to make Jonathan even more jealous of Lucas's system compared to his own, his stiff genderless AI 011 is nowhere near as entertaining.

Once Lucas eventually remembers how to breathe like a normal human being again, he composes himself enough to continue scrolling through the list.

And once again, only a little further into the S section, Lucas bursts out laughing AGAIN.

"There's no escaping all of the machines! Now it's 'Solar Machine'! Good lord!" Following saying this, Lucas manages to compose himself after only laughing a few times, thankfully. Jonathan had, of course, also chuckled a few times alongside him.

As scrolling through the list further ensues, they pause one last time in the S section. While managing to not outright touch the screen, Lucas points out 'Symphony of Blood'.

"Okay, it's emo as all hell, but at least it feels like they put some effort into it? Oh, its boss is 'The Blood Smith', isn't he that guy that has healing powers or whatever?" When Lucas asks this, Jonathan seems to be lost in thought for a few seconds and the mutt gives a small whine to indicate he doesn't know.

"I... I don't know. I think I've heard of him? But... Huh." As Jonathan meanders his way through giving an answer, his thoughtful expression gains a vacant stare off to the side for a few seconds more before he focuses on the present once again.

[I wouldn't say he has healing powers per se, but that his power can be effectively used in reverse to accomplish some healing effects within a limited capacity. Back when you had mutilated your arms, he could have potentially helped after we sufficiently bribed him. He could have forcefully manipulated your blood flow to drive all of your bones back into their proper locations, but he wouldn't have been able to fuse them back together. And stop the bleeding too, of course. Normally, his power could be considered a form of Lingchi, however.]

'Li-what?'

[Ah, I should have known better. Lingchi, death by a thousand cuts. An old-fashioned style of slow and painful torturous execution. In practice, his targets effectively go through a very slow version of Mind Flare's, but from the outside going in.]

'Holy fuck. Yeah no thanks, I don't want to even SEE that, let alone feel it. Not even once.'

[If you speak like that you're just asking for trouble.]

'Shit, you're right.'

Lucas leans forward and knocks on the wooden coffee table twice with his knuckles. He immediately gets a confused look from Jonathan for doing so.

[...I'm going to assume that's a habit from your previous world?]

'Nooo, it better still work in this one too! Knock on wood for good luck!'

[So an apotropaic tradition, got it.]

'What in the actual fuck is that word you just said?'

[...An action to ward off evil, or a good luck charm.]

'Uhh... Yeah, that.'

Lucas clears his throat as he leans back into a comfortable position on the patched-up sofa, acting as if nothing happened.

"Well, regardless, he has nothing to do with us anyway, yeah? Let's keep lookin'." After speaking, Lucas promptly resumes scrolling through the listing, intent on not giving Jonathan a chance to question his foreign actions.

After this continuous series of distractions, they finally conquer the S portion of their self-imposed homework.

While the T's enjoy a much more accelerated rate, it isn't a particularly long time before they're distracted once again.

"You know, I actually kinda like this one. 'Thieves of Elsewhere' has a way better... Vibe? Than most of these other ones have had." Lucas looks a touch thoughtful as he rubs his chin while he muses out loud. Jonathan looks a bit hesitant for a moment before deciding to speak up.

"It's, it's certainly better, but it doesn't r-really help us any?" Following Jonathan's timid reluctance, Lucas lets out a sigh while he drops his thinking pose.

"Yeah, I know. A location-based name wouldn't do us any good, we don't even have a base yet anyway... Eh, whatever. I do think we should go for the 'Brotherhood of something' angle though." After Lucas finishes an actual cohesive idea, Jonathan gives an affirmative nod as the pup on his lap barks once.

The rest of the T's as well as all of the U's prove to be largely uneventful, to the point that Jonathan has started yawning. Which, given its contagious nature, has now led to Lucas and even the mutt yawning along with him.

"Okay, okay, enough. I get it. We've been at this for ages anyway, sheesh. Let's get some sleep, we can worry about it more in the morning." Without any argument, Lucas closes the laptop and slides it across to the far side of the coffee table.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure there's a few extra blankets and pillows in the linen closet, help yourself. What about you though, buddy?" As Lucas turns his focus to the doggo, he holds up one finger. "Bed with me." He raises a second finger. "Couch with Jon." And finally, a third finger joins in. "Or the bed we got you, wherever you want it." The pupper barely hesitates before barking once and wagging his tail.

Lucas faces an incredible challenge in trying to contain his joy. The bliss of receiving the blessing of having been chosen by the pup is beyond any comparison.

[Not to rain on your parade, but I would go all-in on a bet that he's in it for the absurdly large and plush bed, not you.]

'You couldn't let me have this moment!? Bastard, you're definitely right.'

[Beyond any shadow of a doubt.]

'You don't have to rub it in, jerk!'

The glee contained within 427's laughter makes it perfectly clear just how much he enjoys provoking Lucas.

Between the time Lucas spent communicating with 427 and taking a few steps towards his bedroom, Jonathan has already acquired his selection of pillows and blankets. There was definitely an excess of blankets chosen, the plush shelter being constructed on the sofa is strikingly akin to a human-sized hamster nest, with a yellow rubber duck resting on top, of course.

Noticing the movement, as well as the muffled giggle from the blanket pile, Lucas turns around for a good look and cracks up laughing.

"Comfy in there?" As Lucas smiles at the plush roost, an equally smiling head pops out from the folds of fabric.

"Eheh, yeah! Good night Lucas! Good night pup! Good night Mr. Quacks!" Content with his new lot in life, Jonathan burrows back down into the cushy den.

With his smile growing a bit more, Lucas chuckles briefly before softly saying "Good night, Jon." to the lump of tangled comfort, which shifts position once in acknowledgment.

Lucas crouches down and holds his arms out before him, receiving a happy puppy in mere moments. Carrying the mutt with one arm, he walks quietly through the apartment shutting off all of the lights.

After carrying the pupper over to set him down on the coveted bed, he goes back and gently shuts the bedroom door, shuts off the last of the lights, and climbs into bed. As he crawls into his own tangled mess of blankets, the pup helps himself, burrowing into the pile of fabric as well.

"Good night... Wait, we should have named you first!" As Lucas finally realizes what he's been overlooking, there is a muffled single bark from a moving mass of comforter while the dog circles a few times before sticking his head back out from under the sheets.

[...I was giving you too much credit. And here I thought you were waiting to hear his name from Black Ash Snow.]

'Oh shush you. And good night.'

[Heh, good night, Lucas.]

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 7.28 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 4

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.72

Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

-----

Little character theater:

The three good boys all pass out in an extremely short amount of time. It was quite a day. One could even say 36 chapters worth of a day.

427 is peacefully contemplating a potential organization name for the trio of dorks.

Author, quietly while grinning evilly: Good night, you'll need the rest, mwahaha!

Mr. Quacks, very softly: Quack quack quack.