KILLER CROSS OVER

Chapter 04

THOSE WORDS I said to him.

I’m ready.

Though I said those words, I wasn’t sure of myself whether I am. My heart said I didn’t want to know and part of me wished nothing would change and things will be the same but.... it was so cruel to bear when I knew it was impossible. But what was I supposed to do? I was the person who triggered the way for that change.

“There’s something we hid from you all this time. You must have felt that you’re different and that must be why you decided to leave”

I was amazed how he exactly recited what was going in my mind from a long time.

“Go on Levine.”

Curiosity inside me was killing me. My heart raced to know the words he was going to say next.

“I don’t know how you will react to this Cod but… please, no matter what words come out from me within the next minutes, I want you to know that you’re my little brother and no one can change that. Ever."

I nodded.

“Even though I’m not your real brother…. Please… Cod… You’re still my brother.”

Levine, he was suffering for each and every word he said. I felt like I gulped down a stone. Inside of me always said that my origin wasn't with them but I never thought those instincts were true. More than anything I didn't want to accept it.

“I’m not your real brother?”

I murmured. Not because I didn’t know it but because I never actually wanted to hear those words even though I knew I would have to hear them someday whether I like it or not.

"You kind of expected this, didn't you?"

asked Levine with a faint smile

"Not exactly. I've always felt that I didn't belong here but I just thought those instincts weren't true.”

Levine smiled.

That day, I understood the meaning of the warning look dad... or Christopher gave to Levine on the day I woke up on the bed. He wanted Levine to keep silent about the lie he was saying and he wanted Levine to accept me as his younger brother then and there.

"The main reason we didn't tell you the truth was that we didn't want you to have a dark childhood worrying and feeling lonely about not having your parents around you. Because we believed you deserved an amazing childhood just as all the other kids do."

he paused.

I felt as if a warm liquid is running through my body. I unintentionally felt lucky for meeting dad and Levine.

"Second thing. Even we actually don't know who you are. You were an abandoned child on the street and we just brought you. About your memory as well... We don't know how you lost it but we wanted to make you comfortable with us, so we lied."

he paused and so did I. I was calculating the things going through my mind. I kind of doubted if what he said about my memory was true. Of course, it was a lie but I didn't know it was, because I had no memory.

"So, where are my actual parents?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. We tried to find but we couldn't."

"Where did you find me?"

I questioned again and again in the intention of catching him if he was lying.

"Sleeping under a bridge with rags, in the city." he replied instantly without hesitation which made me believe in him. Levine was not a good liar. Since we were children, he sucked at lying but that day was one day, the only day he was good at it. I was so stupid. I knew him so much. He should have expected, predicted, all the questions I asked from him and how many times he would have practiced the answers that he could answer without hesitation? I do not know. He was saying the truth. That is what I thought.

I smiled.

“When I asked you those questions today morning, at the prison rounds.... you already knew, didn’t you?”

 I asked. He smiled.

"You knew I would leave someday, didn't you?"

I asked with the same smile, with tears filled in my eyes.

"Mhm. We guessed. Guessed that you would venture out and believed that you should be strong enough for that. Only thing we could give you was a training to fight and we did that."

His voice sounded so weak and I could hear his sorrow in each and every word he said.

"No. It's not like that. Trust me when I say this. It wasn't. You and dad gave me everything."

I hugged Levine for a long time. Until both of us could suppress back our tears into the eyes again.

"Go on."

He said patting my shoulder.

"And take this with you."

He put the money in my pocket.

"Dad gave that to you thinking that this day would come and hoping that you won't have any difficulties with your life after leaving the territory."

he said. I was right. Dad knew.

"Do you have your gun with you?" asked Levine.

I nodded.

"Gimme that."

I did as he said but at the same time, was curious why.

"You don't need this anymore. Normal people won't use guns. Promise me, you won't ever hold a gun again in your life unless you decide to go on that path of your life to join the Police or the Forces."

He looked deep and strange when he said that, but still he smiled.

"I swear"

I said.

Of course, I had no expectation of holding a gun again and had no intention of joining the Police or the Forces either. So, I was quite sure that I will never hold a gun in my life again.

All I wanted is a normal life.

“Also... Cod.”

“Mm?”

“This....”

said Levine taking a necklace out of his pocket and handing it to me. It was the locket that mom and dad gave to me which I didn’t remember at that moment due to memory loss and which I didn’t even know was existing.

“What is this?”

I said as I brushed my fingers over the three engraved words. “We Love You.”

“Something you may need when your memory comes back or maybe...”

he paused.

“Maybe what?”

“Nothing...”

he replied nervously

“It is nothing.”

he said again taking a deep breathe

“What do you mean nothing? Why did you give this to me?”

he didn’t reply

“Is this mine?”

I asked again. He nodded.

“So... who gave this to me? Who loves me?”

Levine smiled. His smile, I could not understand what it meant. It was definitely not a happy one, neither a sympathetic one but something between both.

"There is always a right time and a right place which thing are bound to happen. You will know when the right time comes. You will know if you are supposed to know.”

he said. I didn’t say anything but instead I instinctively nodded agreeing with him which I still wonder why.

"Great! So… go now"

he said heavily

"Use the Left Line Road to go. Then sneak over the roof of the grey house and jump off the wall. That way, you won't confront any guards and your path will be a lot easier."

he said as I kept my legs on the window ledge again. I nodded.

I looked down. Ready to jump.

"Gonna miss you too, little idiot."

he said. I jumped. I didn't look back or didn't hold back my tears anymore. By that time, holding tears was impossible to me. I let them out. It made me feel relaxed.

I cried as I took over the path my brother told me. He was right as always. I didn't confront any of the guards. My heart ached as I jumped from the roof over the wall without making any noise to make sure that the guards didn't look up. I wanted to sink to my knees when I landed on the ground few feet away from the wall that separated the Catastrophe Territory from the rest of the town.

I turned back. I stared at the buildings inside the wall. One Last Time. Tears. I roughly wiped them off with my hands. I turned myself away. I never turned back in anything I did and I didn't then. It was my decision to leave. I walked away.

Without looking back.