Thana: After killing Justice
We all duck at the same time, knees knocking against the hard floor, our next breath catching in our throats refusing to give us some solace. The light darts over my face, two sharp orbs penetrate through my vision. From the intensity of the light rays, I know it’s only a matter of time before whoever is out there discovers the abandoned junk room.
“Nobody should move a muscle,” Skylar hisses from underneath remnants of a window sill. It’s akin to hiding behind a sieve, hoping no one sees through the holes.
She doesn’t need to repeat herself. Everything inside me is frozen solid, the blood in my veins, the oxygen in my lungs. I can’t feel anything besides the terror hammering at my chest like a feral animal locked up in a cage. Ava, however, slides from my left, moving out of my view. It takes a while for my brain to register her movement, that she’s edging toward the bathroom.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” Skylar asks, shooting her a dirty look. I feel it slither over my spine as if she sent it my way. She scares me. Always has.
Ava doesn’t look back when she responds, “I’m not taking any chances on Justice’s body getting discovered.” And just as she says this, I peer at the floor twenty feet beside me and see that already, Justice’s skin is looking sickly and almost waxen, pale in the dim light. “Help me, will you?” I think she’s referring to me, although her eyes aren’t fixed on mine.
The tension in the bathroom is palpably nerve-racking as Ava gets ahold of Justice’s hands and I hoist her legs to the side. I nearly lose whatever food I have left in my stomach there on the floor because two flies stumble upon her nose, peeking in and out. Ever heard the saying where there’s a mass of flies, there’s a dead body? Yeah, me neither. “Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick,” I admit, and instantly Ava’s hand goes over my gaping mouth. It doesn’t stop me from gagging.
“Control yourself,” she whispers. “Don’t lose your cool now, not when we need to think about how to get out of here.”
She’s right, but she doesn’t know seeing so much blood all in one place is like a trigger for me. Together we pull Justice upright against the wall, her legs aligned parallel to the tub. There’s so much blood everywhere, not just a pool of it, but sheets of it around us. I wonder how we’re going to clean this place, how we’re even going to get out of here without being detected by whoever’s flashing a torchlight in the distance. Ava leans away from her. I can hear her ragged breath coming out in rapid succession. “I don’t think we can trust her,” She says this so out of the blue that I’m still grasping the enormity of her words.
“W-why?” I stutter, and unintentionally I look sideways at Skylar.
“You know why.” Ava purses her full lips and regards me as if I’m the dumbest one in the room. She has the ability to do that with ease. In Literature class, at assemblies, I’ve always seen her belittle someone with the knowledge she has wedged in that big brain of hers.
I’ve heard the rumors, but I better than anyone knows what they represent. Rumors are lies or just surface truth. I never believed fully the story of Skylar pushing her sister to her death. But seeing her throw in that hairdryer like Justice wasn’t even in the bathtub tugs at my brain and warning bells start to chime. “It was an accident.” I don’t know why I’m defending Skylar, but someone has to. Hours ago I was the same unmoored girl I was until I met these two and although I feel closer to Ava than her, she’s a loner like me, longer than I have been. Ava will always have someone in the background once this is over, but the same can’t be said for us. “Besides, can I trust you?”
For a moment, the colour drains from her face. She still seems like the Ava I’ve watched saunter through the hallways with her black combat boots and short uniform skirt. But in this four squared bathroom, she looks more of a child than that. She seems confused. “You shouldn’t.” Her answer takes my breath away and suddenly my throat feels dry and scratchy. “Just like I can’t trust you either.”
Noted. It’s not difficult to notice Skylar has graced us with her presence. She looks pissed. Her usual blue hoodie is pulled over her head and her eyes are downcast and wary. “We can’t stay here, you guys,” she says, eyes darting to the slowly receding lights. “Not with Mr or Mrs torchlight shining their way through the park. We’ll get caught.”
“What do you want us to do besides hide?” Ava says. “We walk out of here, we’re screwed. We stay here though we’re still screwed even more so with her.”
She jabs a finger in Justice’s direction and quickly averts her eyes. “What if we call the police?” The silence that descends on us tells me I’ve said the wrong thing. I cringe. This is why I don’t say much.
Skylar gives out a rough raspy sound and her shoulders shake slightly under her hoodie. It doesn’t take long for me to realize she’s holding back a laugh. “And tell them what exactly? Please, officer, we were taking a stroll in the pack and happened to stumble upon Justice Ortega’s dead body. And oh don’t mind the traces of our DNA not only on every surface in this room but on her frigging body and clothes. It’s not going to go down the way you think.” She says sharply to me, eyes blazing. Tears burn my eyeballs and I look away before one falls. God, I’m pathetic.
“I know how the police work. They can twist your words and make you sound guilty.”
Ava chips in. “We tampered with evidence. Mishandled a dead body. It already looks bad.”
“You’re damn right. It does,” Skylar retorts. There’s a bitter taste in my mouth because it’s dawned on me that there’s no escaping this. This morning I was thinking about how Justice has messed with my head, and now I have to worry about how she’s going to ruin my life.
“We’re strangers. We walk the halls without even looking at what the other’s wearing. It’ll look totally bizarre that we were here together at the same time. In short, Thana, we can’t go to the police.”
“So we bury her.” Even as I say it, I can’t imagine closing soil over another human being. “Make this night go away.”
Ava nods slowly and fixes me with a look of pity. Underneath it all, I can see layers and layers of her guilt, but it took three to kill a girl in cold blood. This can’t be happening. I haven’t been to any funerals before. My grandma died when I was five years old, and even then my dad never let us attend her funeral. Then my mum left Nabil and me with my dad and there was no leaving the house except to go to school. I haven’t even been to a graveyard before.
“That’s going to be impossible tonight. And—”
An indistinct voice nears The Crimson Hideaway and causes us to pause. Skylar bites back a curse while Ava flattens herself further into the corner filled with accumulated junk. Meanwhile, my body rocks back and forth as the light nears and my heart all but stops beating in my chest.
A man’s voice creeps its way to my ears. “Is anyone there?” Next to me, Skylar goes as stiff as a board, nails digging into my arm so hard I give a soft whimper.
“One of us has to go out there and distract him,” Ava invents. “It’s the only way we will all be able to leave at least once he’s gone.”
“I’ll go.” I volunteer more to remove myself from Skylar’s side than to keep to the dark with my friends. If I can call them that. “Once I’m out, I’ll try to draw him away from here. You guys have to leave the way we came alright?”
Outside the air is unexpectedly chilly and the neon glow of my wristwatch tells me it’s almost midnight. “Who’s there?” That gruff sound of a male voice pierces through the air again.
“Over here,” I call out. As I venture away from The Crimson Hideaway, I’m imagining myself as someone else. Someone in a school play titled Escape From The Hideaway or something equally morbid as what I’m doing. I picture someone brave, unlike me, someone who can talk her way out of this and I channel her.
The spotlight is on me now. The harsh beam of light is placed on my face. The crunching of leaves stops. “What are you doing here? Who are you?” Through the light, I can’t see much of him, but he sounds familiar like those old folks I pass by on my way to school every morning.
“Sir can you please turn that off. I can’t see.”
I feel his hesitation before the lights go off and I’m able to get a good look at him. My blood goes cold when I realize he’s a security guard from the parking lot. That’s so far away from this part of the park that I wonder how he heard any of us. He’s an ancient-looking scrawny man, probably his late sixties. “What are you doing here?” He asks again.
I fumble for my next words. “U-um I’m just taking a walk, sir.” I wince, finding that lamer than it sounded in my head. “I got into a fight with my parents at home so I just came here for a stroll, that’s all.” A normal teen excuse I hope he doesn’t argue with.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Then how come I didn’t see you pass by?”
If I took a huge chance and confessed that he was asleep, I don’t know if that’ll embarrass him or force him to deny it. “You were asleep, and you didn’t see me come in. Sorry. I walked right by you.”
I can’t absorb his reaction because he’s blacker than night. The only sound I hear is a guttural grunt and shoving of his torchlight in his holster. “Alright then, but nighttime walking is over. C’mon it’s dangerous to be out here at night.” I breathe a sigh of relief. “But don’t mention to anyone that you…er, you know, saw me sleeping on the job.”
I give a weak nod and hope as I walk past him that he follows me as well. It’s the only way to ensure a clear path for Ava and Yoland to leave the junk room. When I don’t hear leaves being stomped on in my wake, I pause and chance a glance at him. Dark beaded eyes are fixed on me. Watching me. My spine hasn’t felt straighter than at this moment. A voice tells me that we weren’t alone all along like we thought. That maybe this guard whoever he is might’ve grabbed Justice from the tub while we were gone and stabbed her seven times. Never mind, he looks familiar. Nevermind either that there’s no gun on him, but there could be a knife.
“Uh, aren’t you coming?” I don’t mean to sound frightened, but my voice quavers out.
The man doesn’t utter a word for a while and that sends my brain into a really dark place where on the morning news the headlines read: Two teenage girls found stabbed to death in the woods of Fox Park. But then he says, “I heard a scream. Did you hear it too?” He sounds delusional, like he can’t quite trust his own ears.
“N-no. I didn’t.” He heard Justice scream when we didn’t or maybe we did. At this point, I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t anymore. That line between reality and fiction have long since blurred out of existence.
I watch as his eyes glaze over, boring into my own. His left leg shoots forward and I scamper back, heart pounding in my ears. “Right then,” he says, not noticing how terrified I am. “Off you go.”
This time, I don’t wait for him to follow me. I ran the whole way home, hoping Skylar and Ava got out in time too.
Anonymous: Before Justice gets killedThe minute she enters the Choco&Cream shop, I know she’s The One. Not that I haven’t had an inkling for a while now but today, looking at her cross one leg over the other on a rattan-style white chair, I know she’s the perfect fit. The perfect girl. I don’t just choose anyone because like I said, everything must be perfect.Every day after school is done for the day, she comes to this little shop no matter how expensive their menu is, she still goes there every day. I know this because I’ve been there myself. I admire her, really I do. One waitress—a pixie sized woman with an upturned nose from what I can see—hands her the note I dropped a while ago. My imperfect scrawl is what her eyes are perusing before she hands it over to the girl I’m watching from afar. Nosy little bitch. The thought eggs me as I watch the little midget saunter off.<
Thana: After killing JusticeIronically, it’s the sickly loud silence that wakes me up the next morning. I don’t know how I manage to pry my eyelids open because last night I squeezed them painfully shut to blackout all images of Justice’s half milky white eyeball looking up at me. I learnt a valuable thing from the surreal night. That fear was my stalker. It followed me from Fox Park all the way home. It crawled up on me like a creeping living thing till I woke up in between hours with a strangled cry only I could hear.Events from last night come rushing to me. I remember peeling off my blood-stained clothes thankful that I had dressed in black and dumped them on my bathroom floor. It wasn’t easy getting back into my room because every time I so much as moved a muscle on that old rickety ladder behind my window, I feared I would wake someone up. My dad and Nabil are heavy sleepers but not Kieran. My st
Thana: After killing JusticeBy lunchtime, I’m able to talk Kieran out of a salon date with me and I’m left alone with Gladys. Nabil left right after breakfast was over and Dad retreated to his study to work. Once Gladys leaves the kitchen, I pull out my phone to text on the group chat. Justice’s aunt was here asking questions about her.Holy shit is Skylar’s only response but Ava confirms what Miss Ortega said that she’d been to Ava’s house.What did you say? This from Ava.I didn’t get a chance to say anything. Which I’m still grateful never happened. My thoughts drift to the mention of shovels earlier and I feel disconcerted because there’s no way I’ll be able to balance that on my bike when going back to Fox Park tonight. On the kitchen counter, Kieran’s messy scrawl catches my eye and I see that it’s a shopping list. She&rsq
Anonymous: Before Justice gets killedThe hotel room is medium-sized and definitely not shabby at all. Everything is decorated with calming hues of beige. The gauzy brown curtains are on every side of me. There’s a long glass cane table at the centre of the room, chairs that are positioned facing each other giving me the intimacy I crave. I avoid the windows in the room because they are too enormous, too wide and disobey discretion to the fullest. The roman wall clock directly above the four-inch telly tells me she’s late. She’s always late, as though she hasn’t the care or regret for being so. As if I’m not someone she needs to rush over to. I stifle a sigh as I wait for her arrival and the minutes tick by till there’s a notification on my phone.At best, she’s apologetic and at worst, she’s an hour late. Moving over to the door, I unlock it and return to my seat. She prefers to sit on the bed
Ava: Before killing JusticeI’m leaning toward my bathroom mirror trying to remember what the girl in the YouTube video I watched earlier said about twisting buns. Holding a lump of my natural hair it looks almost futile now. There’s nothing a little gorilla snot won’t fix.Every weekend I surf through the internet looking for new styles to torture my short hair with so I don’t look boring at school. Most people wait to see what I’ll look like all seven days of the week. I can’t disappoint; it’s just not in my nature to. Standing back in Arden Academy’s virgin white uniform, I look perfect to the eye. If only people could see the small monster sitting at the back of my mind just waiting for me to set her free, they’d be wary of me.I’m finishing up with my lip gloss when an abrupt banging of the door startles me. My little sister’s voice fills my ears. &ld
Skylar: After killing JusticeI’m not a fan of superstition, but if these staggering photos are anything to go by, I’ll say this is definitely a bad omen.The pictures splayed on the floor tell us we were being watched that night. The realization makes my skin crawl. If we bury Justice’s body, that’ll give whoever has decided to mess with our heads the perfect opportunity to take another picture. One so incriminating the police won’t have to even question us on if we killed her or not. And if we don’t, we’re still in trouble. So we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Perfect. Just frigging fantastic.“We can’t bury her here in Fox Park.” If no one will say it, I will. Thana makes an audible gagging sound behind me and I retch myself from her, afraid she would vomit anytime soon.“She stinks,” she mumbles behind
Ava: Before killing JusticeWe make it to school in a nick of time, precisely an hour or so before the first bell rings for the first period. I’m leaning against my locker, fumbling in my knapsack for Justice’s padlock while she fixes her hair in her compact mirror. I haven’t gotten used to knowing she’s cut her hair to her shoulders and curled the tips. She said she would rather die than have short hair, but here she is, raking her fingers through it. Cece is ranting on about this online novel written by an anonymous romance writer at school. I find it irksome that Cece of all people gets to have a juicy exclusive every Friday when it takes me days to get something eligible for the sports section for the school’s paper.“How do you get the chapters to even publish them, anyway?” I ask her reluctantly and hand Justice her padlock.Cece is all smiles, sugar and spice and everythin
Skylar: After killing JusticeI’m living in the house of a dead girl, but no one knows this. Her name was Kayla Tacki, KayKay, to her friends. Not that she had many and mostly when I saw her in the corridors of Arden Academy she was always keeping to herself. Or latched onto Thana’s brother, Nabil like he was her lifeline.I remember when Justice, Jasmine, and I were in Year Seven when the Tackis moved into The Circle. They weren’t posh or sparkly as they parked in their new driveway. No Range Rover or Land Cruiser in sight, just their old Benz that coughed out smoke every time Mr Tacki revved the engine. Most of the time, I stayed clear from their path when I saw their car, afraid my lungs would get clogged with carbon monoxide. Her family had the same dream everyone in the Circle had when they first moved here: “Maybe things will be different in The Circle. Maybe we’ll be happy here.”Unfortunatel
Thana: After killing Justice The next day, I wake up with panic blossoming in my chest. It’s Monday, I realise, but it takes a while for my brain to remember school is out till they tell us it’s not. I moan into my pillow. All the crying I did last night takes its toll on me. My head is pounding. Kieran comes in seconds later, making me know she must have had her ears plastered to my bedroom door. I scootch to make room for her. “How are you feeling?” she asks, pressing her cold icy hand to my temple. A shiver racks through me and I whimper. “Oh dear, you have a fever.” I kind of figured it out when everything, including my bed, felt like a block of ice. She orders me into the bathroom while I strip my pyjamas and wrap a towel around myself, collapsing on the tiled floor. She returns with a bucket teeming with hot water and readies a bath for me while I wail about how much they must hate me now. “Who hates you?” Sh
Thana: After killing Justice When we don’t say a word, he starts pacing. I watch as he applies pressure to the space between his eyes, one hand on his hip. “At least explain to me why you broke into a hotel room at Circe Creek.” After a long beat, he probes some more. “Girls, c’mon. I know it’s in your nature to cover for each other. Lie for each other. I have nieces, so I’m well aware. What I don’t quite get is why you’re going along with this.” It takes me a moment to realise he’s talking to Skylar and I get the same free-falling effect of someone diving out of a twelfth story building. He’s trying to rip us apart and pit us against each other. “You don’t owe these two anything, especially Ava Hernaez. She’s Justice’s best friend. You don’t run in the same social circle. In fact, you all are the oddest group I’ve ever encountered.” “Are we suspects?” Skylar cuts him off, finally showing some ounce of the same fear zapping through me.
Thana: After killing Justice “Row, what on earth are you doing with those two?” “They’re my friends,” I say defensively. “And I need you to promise me you won’t mention what Justice told you.” “Why?” “It’s complicated. They’d know I lied to them. That I’ve been lying this whole time.” His ringtone interrupts us. We both look at the phone balanced on his lap. Kieran’s caller ID flashes on the screen. “Hold on.” He holds up a finger. “She’s been calling me nonstop. I wonder what she wants.” Nabil walks over to the other side of the space, stands in front of the gaping square where a window should be. I plop down on the slabs, watch as Skylar and Ava, their backs turned away from me, pull out their own phones. Apprehension creeps up my spine and buzzes intensely when Nabil walks back and hands me his phone. “She wants to speak with you.” The fear evi
Thana: After killing Justice Now, looking at his stunned expression, darting eyes searching for an escape from us, I’m pondering over what this means for him, for us. My brother is an exceptional artist with words that are meant to make you, not break you. I can’t imagine those fingers that have deftly moved with a pencil on a page, wrap around a knife and stab a girl seven times. Twice in the throat without remorse and three times in the chest without a second thought. “What are you staring at?” Skylar snarls. “You’ve got some nerve looking at us after what you did.” Nabil blanks and takes a step back. “W-what are you talking about?” he stutters. He’s rehearsed somehow because he looks stoic and confused like he just can’t place his finger on why Skylar is fuming. If she were a cartoon, I can only perceive the amount of smoke billowing out of her ears and nose. “Did you think you’d get away with it?
Thana: After killing Justice Afterwards, I curled up into a ball and cried my eyes out, hating myself for hitting send. Hating her for her silence after the double blue ticks appeared on my screen. Hating her even more for blocking me. Maybe she deleted the messages too, but I can’t be too sure, so I say, “We can use it. If we hand it over now, we won’t get the answer to why. Why us? Why blackmail us into burying her? You know once we give it up the cops, they won’t disclose any information and we’d be left in the dark.” Skylar leans in. “So what you’re saying is, we get him to meet us? Isn’t that dangerous?” “It’s really not. It’ll be three against one. There’s not much damage he can do.” Ava’s eyes meet mine. “I think it’s smart and we could even get a confession out of him.” And just like that, all’s forgiven. I will not make them doubt me again. She delicately picks
Thana: After killing JusticeI don’t ask what Skylar means when she says this. My eyes are fixated on the blackened screen of Justice’s phone, my thoughts whirlpooling: Ava has had this since Friday. Could she have gone through it? Does she know my secret? Did Justice ever delete our chats like she erased the very existence of me? I jut my head to the phone. “Have you gone through it? Found anything?”“Nope. I can’t seem to get past Justice’s stupid password,” she says in defeat. “I’ve tried her birthday. Mine. Victor’s. I even tried Patience is a dead cow, something Justice loved to say all the time and nothing. It’s like I don’t even know her anymore.” Her eyes have gone glassy and I want to ask: If you cared so much about Justice, why make that plan? Why hate her for some meagre title like Head girl? There’s got to be more than Ava’s letting on
Thana: After killing Justice Skylar smirks at me as if she knows I’m lying, but finds it amusing that I’m terrible at it. Ava, however, is oblivious and gives me a pitying look. “Sorry, but this couldn’t wait.” Her eyes scour the place before she speaks again, which is overly dramatic considering there’s no one here but us. “We’re here to sort of compare notes and figure out what went wrong.” She makes it sound as if what we did was right and some anomaly just entered the equation and messed everything up. Then what she says next sends shock pulsating through me: “Skylar found out my dad was the one booking the room at the hotel.” After a long beat of silence between us, I ask, “How?” If I look in the mirror right now, I’d see the ugly mask of confusion on my face. “How did you find out?” I ask. My eyes land on Skylar. “I went to the precinct yesterday.” A pause and then she frowns. “Does it
Thana: After Killing Justice They send me a load of texts telling me to meet them at the community library, ordering me to be there before noon. Don’t be late, Ava texts emphatically in caps. Instead of feeling annoyed that my Saturday morning was going to be spent at a library I didn’t even know existed, I’m glad. I’m being summoned. It’s good to feel like I belong. My phone isn’t a black nothingness anymore. But there’s a dark voice whispering to me that it won’t last for long, not with how much I’m keeping from them. I’m not the kind of girl to hoard away her secrets. Most people know them before I can even confess. If Ava and Skylar know what I know, they won’t look at me the same way. My murky past must stay in the dark, my real reason for wanting to get back at Justice along with it. The invitation staring back at me on my phone inspires me with a new sense of valiance I haven’t felt before. So I go in search of Nabil and when I do
Skylar: After killing JusticeWhen she rises from the bed, the protruding baby bump is the only explanation I get. Stupidly, I blurt out an oh but there’s no indication that I’ve offended her. “Dad’s been sneaking out of the house around this time. I know since I hear him every time he leaves.” She’s all business now. “That’s why we’re going to track him using the app I downloaded today. It’s called Spyic. He won’t even know we’re tailing him.”I give her a wry look. “How do you know all this?”She shrugs. “Where else but Google? There’s like loads of info on there you just have to know where to look.”Beside me, Ava rolls her eyes. “What now?”“We wait for him to leave,” Asia says.Ten minutes later we’re shut inside Asia&