Thana: After killing Justice
By lunchtime, I’m able to talk Kieran out of a salon date with me and I’m left alone with Gladys. Nabil left right after breakfast was over and Dad retreated to his study to work. Once Gladys leaves the kitchen, I pull out my phone to text on the group chat. Justice’s aunt was here asking questions about her.
Holy shit is Skylar’s only response but Ava confirms what Miss Ortega said that she’d been to Ava’s house.
What did you say? This from Ava.
I didn’t get a chance to say anything. Which I’m still grateful never happened. My thoughts drift to the mention of shovels earlier and I feel disconcerted because there’s no way I’ll be able to balance that on my bike when going back to Fox Park tonight. On the kitchen counter, Kieran’s messy scrawl catches my eye and I see that it’s a shopping list. She’d written ‘honey, milk, bread, butter’ on it and this serves as a perfect excuse to get out of the house. We need detergents if we’re going to rid the junk room of all traces of blood and our fingerprints. The fact that I’m thinking and debating on all these things proves that my sanity isn’t intact after all. I make my way to Dad’s study and knock on the door regardless of it being open. No one leaves home without telling him or Kieran. It’s another one of Kieran’s dumb rules.
“I’m going out to shop for some stuff for Kieran.” My voice sounds so small and tiny like I’m the same kid I was seven years ago.
Without looking up from his laptop, he says, “I’ll have Rupert bring in a car for you. Give him five minutes he’ll be here soon.” Releasing a sigh I leave because I have no way of placating my father. For now, we’re just going to continue walking on eggshells maybe for the rest of our lives.
I have Rupert wait for me in the parking lot while I shop for Kieran and later myself. As per usual people stare at me wondering why I have on black gloves in this kind of heat. Honestly, it’s worse in school than it is outside of school. It was the modicum through which Justice used to call me a creep with a horrible fashion sense. Halfway through the vegetable section, I get another text from Ava which is undoubtedly the happiest moments of my life. My phone has been a dead black screen for us long as I can remember and only notifications from Grammarly cause it to light up. Wanna come over? I ignore that small frightened child squatting at the centre of my mind telling me it’s all a dream that once this is over so is our little revenge pact, but I grasp that silver lining and have Rupert drop me off at The Hernaezs’ house.
“Do you need any help with those?” Rupert asks me once I’m out of the car, my bones liquid with anxiety and I’m too engrossed in my thoughts wondering what to say to Ava to spark up a conversation that I don’t notice him grab for the polythene bags filled with the detergents.
“No, I’ve got these. You can have this lot delivered to Gladys.” I hand over Kieran’s side of the grocery list and wave him off.
Anyone who lives in The Circle knows everything about the Hernaezs, well only the stuff they make public anyway because that’s how I see them, an embodiment of a political figure with their secrets shrouded within the four corners of their house not letting any outsiders in. With the eldest daughter out of the country studying at a top tier school, a middle child heading almost half the intellectual clubs at Arden Academy and a musical prodigy as their last born, The Hernaezs seem to have it all. I think this because I have my fair share of family secrets so I know not all is as it seems.
Before I even know it, the front door was flaying open by Ava as if she had been plastering her face to the sitting room window looking out for me to come visit her. The thought is my feeble attempt at thinking I could actually be someone to wait for. “I can’t believe you came.” Her voice is warm and quavers a bit. I guess I’m not the only one having cold feet about what we have to do tonight.
“Hi.” Is all I manage to squeeze out of my mouth. Skylar and Ava are the only people outside my family I’ve been able to speak more than a syllabus to and it still baffles me.
Her hips jut out as she relaxes against the frame and extends a hand to me, pulling me effortlessly into the house. “I know you’re kind of shy around people but don’t be too nervous. My family doesn’t bite,” she whispers into my ear before she meanders us into the dining room where Mr Hernaez guffaws from the sink area, raising from where I stand is a pile of dirty dishes.
My dad never lifts a finger to do the dishes. “Mom. Dad, this is Thana,” she says, give my shoulder a squeeze. “She’s staying for the night.” I am? “And oh we’re gonna head upstairs ‘cause we have a literature project we’re working on. Is that all right?”
Silence creeps in and the mirth that was once donning this room leaves abruptly. Mrs and Mr Hernaez looked surprised to see me standing in their kitchen and unconsciously I brush off Ava’s hand feeling very anxious. I knew it. I knew they wouldn’t like me. Mrs Hernaez sets her wine glass down and stuns me by saying, “Hi, how’re you? Sorry if we’re a little surprised but Ava didn’t tell us she had a friend coming over. I would’ve set you a plate beforehand.”
My words are mangled up in my voicebox and I don’t speak terrified that I’d say the wrong thing. Mr Hernaez wipes off his hand hurriedly and extends it to me, “It’s not too late though.” He says to his wife and grasps my hand in his. “Nice to meet you. It’s good you’re here. Maybe you can convince Ava here to eat her food. She hardly eats anything.”
Ava gives me a sidelong glance, a small sign that tells me she can’t stomach anything down, not with us going to bury Justice in a few hours. But I find myself silently agreeing because for as long as I’ve known Ava, she’s unhealthily bone-thin. A loud ‘no’ burst out of nowhere and it takes me a while to notice Astrid, the youngest, propped dangerously on a dining chair. She gives me a baleful grin, “Help me eat my food instead. I promise not to scare you during the night if you eat all my carrot.”
“Astrid!” Mrs Hernaez scolds. “Stop being ridiculous and they’re good for you.”
Ava conjures up an opportunity to cut the introduction short. “It’s late. We’re going to get an early start on our project.”
“Thanks for having me,” I say before Ava pulls me upstairs. Once in her room, she turns to me. “Sorry about that. I invited you here so we have an airtight alibi for tonight just in case anything comes up.”
“Like the police asking questions?”
She pauses, lips pulled inwards. “Absolutely.” And gestures for me to sit on her bed which is much harder than mine. “Make yourself comfortable. When they all go to sleep we’ll be able to sneak out through the backdoor.”
She saunters into the bathroom, the door not fully closed and I spy a look at her and freeze when I notice something strange as she strips off her pyjamas for tonight. Are those bite marks? Her head immediately whips around and I quickly avert my eyes. The door clicks shut and I’m left alone thankfully in the glowing light. As promised at exactly eleven forty, Ava nudges me awake and presses a finger against her lips. “Sh. Don’t make a sound. I’ve turned off the house alarm. We’ll have to be really quiet.”
Nodding I jerk awake from her sofa and slip on my sneakers once more. The house is eerily silent as we make our way downstairs and out through the backdoor. By dawn, the air is sodden with drizzle and comfortably chill, the kind of cold that makes me want to be in bed right now. “Are we walking?” I ask Ava wondering if we’ll make it back if there’s a downpour.
The slight shake of her head tells me no. “We’re taking my sister’s car.” Is all she says. We slip into the Corolla and Ava eases it into the driveway with the skills of someone who’s apparently been driving for some time now. I don’t ask if she has a driver’s license because she’s only seventeen but that isn’t stopping her. “Do you miss your sister?”
Without peeling her eyes off the road, Ava replies, “No, not really. I finally have the study all to myself now and Astrid never ventures there. She prefers to learn on her bed.” Momentarily, she gives me a cursory glance and then chuckles. “If Aurelia ever finds out I’m using her car for this sort of thing she’d kill me before shit hits the fan.”
I don’t know what to say to that and we lapse into a comfortable silence. The drive to Fox Park isn’t a lengthy one, in about five minutes we’re trudging on damp grass when Ava grumbles about Skylar not replying to her texts. I haven’t gotten any notifications yet so it’s either she’s ghosting us or she’s running late. “She better be here in five minutes or I’m really going to lose it.” We stop at the fence perforated with large holes. “Here, hold the shovels.”
I’m about to protest that the bag of cleaning items is already weighing me down but she thrusts them to me without a moment’s hesitation. The metal clank together and before I know it, she’s clambering up the fence and lands on the other side on her hands and knees.
“Pass the shovels next,” she whispers and when I’m done sliding them over the fence, I’m left with how to manoeuvre myself over it. My legs scrape over a lone wire when I do and as expected, I’m less graceful on my landing than Ava was. When I turn, I nearly scream at the looming silhouette moving behind Ava. Looking closer I notice it’s only Skylar who taps on Ava’s shoulder. “Sup, slowpokes.”
Ava had no way of seeing this coming and jumps afoot, hand clutching at her chest. “Jesus, Skylar you spooked me!”
Skylar rolls her eyes probably thinking she’s being dramatic and then her gaze fixes on me. “Hey.” All I can do is give a flimsy hand wave. She still intimidates me.
“Why didn’t you reply to any of my texts?” Ava just won’t let it go and starts walking away grumpily to the junk room. “I thought you weren’t going to show. How’d you get here before us anyway last time I checked your house is further than this.”
I feel Skylar stiffen suddenly beside me before she says, “I’m here now, aren’t I? Now can you stop your whining and let’s get this over with.”
My thoughts instantly drift to the security guard I saw the night before and I immediately grab Skylar’s hand. “Wait, guys. The other night I didn’t tell you what I saw.”
Skylar’s eyes widen as though it’s hit her too. “Who was it that night?”
A foot away, Ava pauses to turn to us wondering why we’ve suddenly stopped walking. “Uh, it was just a security guard so we have to be careful and not make any noise.” My voice nearly goes an octave. “He was seriously weird and creepy and not to mention, he told me he heard a scream.”
“He heard Justice scream?” Ava asks.
Skylar frowns, her brows furrowing deeper. “What did he look like?” So I tell them because it only dawned on me now that maybe they’ll share my theory on him being the killer. But even as I describe him he comes off as a harmless old man. When I’m done, Skylar and Ava share a look.
“Um, Thana, that sounds like Mr Paps,’ Skylar tells me, looking relieved that we won’t be running into a serial killer or anything closely dangerous. “He used to work in the park but stopped. I guess he’s back now. He’s practically ancient.”
“Plus he can’t hear properly,” Ava interjects, “He wears a hearing aid last time I checked.”
I feel stupid and paranoid. I shouldn’t have made a big deal out of this besides Ava and Skylar have been living in the Circle longer than I have so I may as well take their word for it. “But you’re right we do need to keep quiet if we want to get out of here undetected, hearing aid or not,” Ava says.
Nothing should’ve surprised us at that moment because we knew what to expect when we opened the battered door of the junk room open. But still, Justice’s mangled body neatly stuffed in a body bag— we never placed there—stole my breath away.
“What the—.” This comes from a shocked Skylar who’s the first to go in this time. And that’s not all because as I push my way inside, not only is Justice’s body prepped and ready for us to dispose of, but at our very feet are numerous pictures of us from that night, splashed all over the wooden floor. I retrieve one from the ground. It’s of me removing my ski mask, another of Skylar hitting Justice over the head with a rock and the most dastardly of the lot is of us leaning over Justice’s body, her eyes reflecting the flickering light bulb in the bathroom.
And just as fast as a trainwreck, it hits us. The words written on the wall in front of us:
I’M SO GLAD WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER. BURY THE BODY OR THESE GET SENT OUT.
Anonymous: Before Justice gets killedThe hotel room is medium-sized and definitely not shabby at all. Everything is decorated with calming hues of beige. The gauzy brown curtains are on every side of me. There’s a long glass cane table at the centre of the room, chairs that are positioned facing each other giving me the intimacy I crave. I avoid the windows in the room because they are too enormous, too wide and disobey discretion to the fullest. The roman wall clock directly above the four-inch telly tells me she’s late. She’s always late, as though she hasn’t the care or regret for being so. As if I’m not someone she needs to rush over to. I stifle a sigh as I wait for her arrival and the minutes tick by till there’s a notification on my phone.At best, she’s apologetic and at worst, she’s an hour late. Moving over to the door, I unlock it and return to my seat. She prefers to sit on the bed
Ava: Before killing JusticeI’m leaning toward my bathroom mirror trying to remember what the girl in the YouTube video I watched earlier said about twisting buns. Holding a lump of my natural hair it looks almost futile now. There’s nothing a little gorilla snot won’t fix.Every weekend I surf through the internet looking for new styles to torture my short hair with so I don’t look boring at school. Most people wait to see what I’ll look like all seven days of the week. I can’t disappoint; it’s just not in my nature to. Standing back in Arden Academy’s virgin white uniform, I look perfect to the eye. If only people could see the small monster sitting at the back of my mind just waiting for me to set her free, they’d be wary of me.I’m finishing up with my lip gloss when an abrupt banging of the door startles me. My little sister’s voice fills my ears. &ld
Skylar: After killing JusticeI’m not a fan of superstition, but if these staggering photos are anything to go by, I’ll say this is definitely a bad omen.The pictures splayed on the floor tell us we were being watched that night. The realization makes my skin crawl. If we bury Justice’s body, that’ll give whoever has decided to mess with our heads the perfect opportunity to take another picture. One so incriminating the police won’t have to even question us on if we killed her or not. And if we don’t, we’re still in trouble. So we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Perfect. Just frigging fantastic.“We can’t bury her here in Fox Park.” If no one will say it, I will. Thana makes an audible gagging sound behind me and I retch myself from her, afraid she would vomit anytime soon.“She stinks,” she mumbles behind
Ava: Before killing JusticeWe make it to school in a nick of time, precisely an hour or so before the first bell rings for the first period. I’m leaning against my locker, fumbling in my knapsack for Justice’s padlock while she fixes her hair in her compact mirror. I haven’t gotten used to knowing she’s cut her hair to her shoulders and curled the tips. She said she would rather die than have short hair, but here she is, raking her fingers through it. Cece is ranting on about this online novel written by an anonymous romance writer at school. I find it irksome that Cece of all people gets to have a juicy exclusive every Friday when it takes me days to get something eligible for the sports section for the school’s paper.“How do you get the chapters to even publish them, anyway?” I ask her reluctantly and hand Justice her padlock.Cece is all smiles, sugar and spice and everythin
Skylar: After killing JusticeI’m living in the house of a dead girl, but no one knows this. Her name was Kayla Tacki, KayKay, to her friends. Not that she had many and mostly when I saw her in the corridors of Arden Academy she was always keeping to herself. Or latched onto Thana’s brother, Nabil like he was her lifeline.I remember when Justice, Jasmine, and I were in Year Seven when the Tackis moved into The Circle. They weren’t posh or sparkly as they parked in their new driveway. No Range Rover or Land Cruiser in sight, just their old Benz that coughed out smoke every time Mr Tacki revved the engine. Most of the time, I stayed clear from their path when I saw their car, afraid my lungs would get clogged with carbon monoxide. Her family had the same dream everyone in the Circle had when they first moved here: “Maybe things will be different in The Circle. Maybe we’ll be happy here.”Unfortunatel
Ava: After killing JusticeYellow crime-scene tapes. Blue and red lights blinking in the distance. Familiar words are written on those peculiar long tapes. Do not cross. Crime Scene. And just when we’d thought we would go back to normal, this had to happen. I can’t say I didn’t expect it. The moment we saw those pictures splashed around in the Crimson Hideaway, I knew the world I was living in had ceased to exist. The lines between right and wrong have blurred out of existence. Who’s to say, we didn’t cause this? That by Skylar speaking to Mr Paps we already signed his death certificate in advance for him. Now more than ever we have to find out who killed Justice and Mr Paps.“How’d he die?” I ask Skylar who’s to my right standing in the chilly air in her usual blue hoodie and black jeans. Somehow strangely I know the answer before she tells me.“Stabbed to deat
Thana: Before killing JusticePayback tastes sweet until you get a feel of the aftermath. That’s what I should’ve hammered into my head that day in the washroom after Skylar, Ava, and I discussed faux-killing Justice. It felt good to plan it, amazing to imagine it even, but afterwards, all I was left with was fear, guilt and shame. It wasn’t worth it. I would give anything to see Justice alive and walking down the corridors of Arden Academy like a shiny bullet soaring through the air. I don’t know how the others tell it—that Friday morning or afternoon Justice did something to hurt us. But she’s been making me bleed ever since Kieran made my family move to The Circle last year in September.I was new that year. Fresh meat, Justice said. I thought she meant it as a joke and it’s weird how happy I was that she had noticed me, that she had even spoken to me. I’m used to being invisible to my dad a
Thana: After killing JusticeDeath is inevitable and comes in many forms. The first being my mother’s, Mary—that’s what I call her now, not Mum like Nabil and I used to—died from pulmonary embolism, that’s what my dad told me a few hours after he got an out of the blue call at a quarter past midnight. Then came Kayla’s death. A hit-and-run that left her broken, her stomach sliced open, blood oozing from the wound. Another form was Jasmine. The fall didn’t kill her, apparently; it was a blood clot that shot straight into her brain.And now Justice but no one knows this, but all the same, by Monday morning, news of Justice’s disappearance has spread throughout the school like wildfire, seeping into every chat room, creating new hashtag posts every minute someone clueless gets a whiff of the gossip circulating.Normalcy has become a thing of the past. Chaos and fear have desce