Mortal & Malignant

TREPIDATION

I turned my attention away from Harvey and looked down at the remnants of my phone.

As tears filled my eyes, reality began to set in.

I felt my hands begin to shake and my stomach started to churn.

As I slowly walked back towards the couch, I heard the crunch of plastic fragments underneath my feet.

My life was taking a turn for the worst, and I hadn't even contemplated that yet.

I laid my head down on the bare couch and crawled up into a ball.

It had been a long time since I felt so awake, yet my eyes felt so worn out from all the tears. 

I turned away from the light coming through the window and repositioned my head on the pillow.

I still somehow closed my eyes and let my weary body take control.

In the morning when I awoke I heard Harvey in the kitchen, cooking something on the stove. I raised my head above the top of the couch and saw Harvey's hand on the handle of a frying pan.

He arose from his tired state as he began to hear me shuffling behind him. 

I watched his head turned towards me and he started glaring at me.

"I don't really know what to do with you. Someone will have to come check up on the property soon." He began flipping the bacon and eggs in the pan, never turning to look at me.

"I'm allowed here, but you're not. You're just going to have to keep on the down low, try not to flash your scars or your face," he turned back towards the pan on the stove and started to sigh.

I looked closely at the pan and saw scrap pieces of leftover food in it, which caused me to cringe.

"Harvey, are you telling me everything? If they've lost track of me, why can't I go home?" I watched his body tense up as he heard me speak.

"Like I told you, they might’ve spotted you with me. Just trust me, it wouldn't be a good thing. Your best bet is to go grab your shit, say your goodbyes and be ready," I watched as he flipped his food and shook the pan back and forth as he spoke.

"Soon you'll have to leave out the back door and circle around until you hit the other side of the road. I'll find you again soon," he spoke with no remorse, as we both knew my curiosity got the best of us.

"I'll try not to be a burden. But just know, I'm not giving up." I leanest my head against the top of the couch and closed my eyes for a moment.

"Like I said, i don't want to die and you don't want to either so let's just work together here, and have a little more respect for each other," He started looking at the ground and I slowly began to realise that somewhere deep down inside, Harvey did have a heart.

The exterior may be a little rusty, but I knew this was partly my fault and I understood why he was frustrated.

I watched as his body language completely changed in an instant, and he became more remorseful, in a way.

"I will respect you. Just don't fuck this up more for us. This is already too far gone for me," as Harvey began to put all the food he cooked on a plate, I realised that I had lost track of time.

I thought I must've been too tired, most likely because I hadn't gotten much sleep throughout the night.

"I'm still waking up so I'll probably leave in a little bit. So if you need me you'll turn up at my house or something?" I looked at him in confusion. 

None of this seemed to really make sense, but I knew my only choice would be to trust him.

"Look, I'll find you how I find you. Don't worry about that. Just try not to go outside too much," I looked down at the ground then back up at Harvey.

He turned towards me and went to speak again, but instead rubbed his eyes in annoyance before taking his food with him upstairs, seemingly not wanting to be around me.

I layed back down on the couch and turned my head until it was facing the floor. 

I looked around and saw bugs, cobwebs and grime around the corners of the room. 

I watched as the light moved closer towards my face as the sun began to rise.

The morning light hit my face so abruptly, stirring me awake even more.

I could hear a faint voice upstairs, I listened closely and gathered that Harley was speaking to someone on the phone yet something was different.

Harley seemed disconcerted, and it was strange to hear such a hard-headed person become so docile.

Either way I wasn't planning on lingering in the home any longer.

I checked my pockets to make sure I hadn't lost anything before silently making my way to the back door.

As I opened the door, it creaked and cracked open.

I heard Harley's faint voice go silent, showing that he was conscious about the fact that I was leaving.

I closed the door quietly behind me and ran as fast as my feet could carry me.

How much time do I have?

Who knows how long I'll have with my family before Harley finds me again. 

I finally started to realise what I'd gotten myself into. 

Is this some kind of gang?

A cult?

I almost didn't want to know what I could be running from, but I had to know.

I just never knew this would come back to haunt me.

Harley said that running into him has put me at risk, because they're always watching.

I need to know who they are.

As I continued to stress myself, I realised I was getting closer to home.

As I was walking down each street, I felt myself become more restless.

The unlit street lights flew by the corners of my eyes.

I saw birds flying up ahead, but the sun was too bright for me to want to look up at them.

I slowly sped up as I felt my heart race.

Are they watching right now?

It's such a rush, not knowing if you're running from something.

My mind began to dart back and forth on what to do as I realised that running may be the root to my death.

I stopped in my tracks and looked around frantically.

Was that man across the street staring at me? 

How long has that car been sitting there?

Maybe I'm overscrutinizing.

I should keep my mind clear and my head up.

Harley said they would follow me if they found me, I just wish I knew where they would be coming from.

But what if i can't trust Harley?

He could be in the grand scheme of it all.

My thoughts were continuously interweaving, there was never any peace.