Kola Adefarasin.
"Let's hope she's online."
I stared at the inbox for a while. I've been thinking of what to do or what to say to keep the woman. But I've finally come to a conclusion. I wouldn't be outwitted, neither would I ruin it.
"DO YOU HAVE A BIG COCK?! I HEARD THAT MOST OF Y'ALL AFRICANS DO."
I read out the message again. I've locked the door to my house. I'm living in a room self-contain. Unlike Dare's apartment, I have my own kitchen, toilet and bathroom. I do not have to share with anyone. Yet, who wouldn't grab another opportunity of becoming great?!
DO YOU WANT TO SEE PICTURES?
I replied, and almost immediately, I saw the three ellipses which signifies that someone is typing.
"Omoo"
[Damn]
I muttered in my native tongue. I picked up the bottle of Pepsi and drank from it. I have a bed and its rails. I have rug spread across the floor of my room and the walls are well painted. I have a TV set and several other things needed when you invite a lady over.
I guess I'm doing well compared to Dare. And he knows that too well.
WITH EVERY SENSES OF CURIOSITY.
Her reply came on. I thought for a while but couldn't help it,
"Yes or no, abi ewo losi..."
[Yes or no, what rubbish!]
I cussed in my mother tongue. I hated to be worked over just by petty things. I'm just taking my time.
"I think yes."
I resolved and turned to my door as though someone was looking at me. I looked up to the ceiling and muttered in pidgin,
"Baba God, you suppose grab oo."
[You should understand my plight, dear God.]
"No shit."
I agreed then put on the camera of my phone. I slid my phone into my boxer's short and took several clicks. Then brought it out.
I tried to perceive the smell of my down part and cussed,
"Omoo."
I made fun of myself then looked at all the pictures I took. I deleted those that were not necessary and blurry.
"Calm down na."
I urged myself. I didn't know why I felt extraordinarily jumpy. My hands were shaking. I couldn't remember the last time I sent my nude pictures.
Out of jumpiness, I opened my W******p app and uploaded the dick pic on my status.
"Fuck shit."
I put it down immediately but then I discovered that it already had one view.
"Eh, oluwa."
[Oh God.]
I checked it. The name was TROUBLEMAKER. I sighed in relief. Then sent three of the pictures to the woman.
Her reply came as soon as possible,
LOOKS SUMPTUOUS. I WANT TO CHOKE ON IT.
I read. I wanted to go straight to the point and ask her what next when a call came through. The number calling,
TROUBLEMAKER.
I wanted to drop the call when I remembered whose name I saved with such title. I'm doomed.
"Good afternoon sir, Good afternoon, sir..."
I stuttered as soon as I picked the call.
"Brother Kola, God bless you."
My pastor said. I was going to continue when he cut in,
"Let's meet later today. Have a nice day."
He didn't even wait to hear my response when he hung the call.
"Which kain wahala be this na."
[What sort of trouble is this?]
"You're still on air, Brother Dare and we are having the worker's meeting."
"Haaa!!"
I quickly looked at my phone. I thought he hung the call in the first place. I hung it finally and looked up to the ceiling. I'm doomed.
I shook my head and opened the Top-face app to read the woman's further replies,
IT'S RATHER WIERD TO BE APPROACHED BY A LADY BUT ASIDE YOUR BIG DICK, THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE THAT ATTRACTED ME TO YOU. YOU WRITE POETRY. IT'S IN YOUR BIO. I LOVE POETRY AND WOULD LOVE YOU TO WRITE ONE FOR ME SOON. YOU KNOW, I'M 42 AND I'VE DATED GUYS FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE BUT NEVER TRIED OUT AN AFRICAN. THERE ARE LOTS OF THEM HERE IN CALIFORNIA BUT THEN, I DON'T KNOW WHY I FEEL DRAWN TO YOU ESPECIALLY. TELL ME, DO YOU HAVE AN INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT?
My brain sparked. Like there was friction fiddling with it.
YES
My reply.
THEN THAT'S GREAT. HOW MUCH AND HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO PREPARE A VISA AND BUY TICKET FOR CALIFORNIA OVER THERE?
"Omooo!"
I exclaimed. I didn't know why I was so happy. I almost totally forgot that it actually isn't me but Dare's call.
I must tell a lie. Yes.
1 MILLION NAIRA.
I sent. I wanted to delete, the fear of ruining everything was eating me up. But then she replied,
I'LL SEND YOU $10000 FOR EVERYTHING AND CLOTHES YOU WOULD NEED FOR COMING HERE. IN FEW WEEKS, YOU SHOULD BE HERE, I'LL BE BACK FROM UK ALSO TO RECEIVE YOU. AND DO TELL ME IF YOU NEED OTHER INFORMATIONS OF THE PERSON YOU'LL BE STAYING WITH IN CALIFORNIA. I'LL SEND NECESSARY INFORMATION SOON.
I minimized the app firstly then hopped on G****e search. I typed.
$10000 TO NAIRA.
"5 million naira!!!!"
I screamed and jumped on my feet. I heard someone calling from outside my door if something was wrong.
"No yawa, Mama Chigozie."
I called back. Then opened the Top-face app again.
DO YOU USE PAYONEER OR PAYPAL OR DO YOU WANT A WIRE TRANSFER. I'LL TALK TO MY SECRETARY AND HE'LL DO IT RIGHT AWAY.
I quickly searched on g****e what Wire transfer means, then replied,
WIRE TRANSFER.
SEND YOUR BANK DETAILS.
I did all I had to do, searched all I had to search for. Browsed about how to get my Swift code for GTBANK. Then at the success, I sent her. Twas too good to be true.
SHOULD I BE WORRIED, THE NAME ON YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IS DIFFERENT FROM THAT ON YOUR TOPFACE'S
She sent. I thought for a while. How could I be that dumb. I lied,
I COULDN'T USE MY ACCOUNT. I'M SO BROKE THAT MY BANK ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED. SO, I'M BORROWING MY FRIEND'S FOR THE MEANTIME. YOU SHOULD NOTICE HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO REPLY YOU.
She sent an emoji. After few moments, I received an alert on my phone. I jumped for joy. Twas all like a dream. I couldn't believe it. Without doing YAHOO (internet scam), a foreigner sent me money. Damn.
Mama Chigozie's voice came again and I shouted,
"Lalalala..."
She seemed to give up as she didn't come again.
I threw my phone on the bed and seived my options. I knew I had to call Dare. But I'm tempted. Who wouldn't be? I threw my phone on the bed and knelt on the rug in the middle of my room,
"Dear God, you'll have to overlook this sin of mine. I have been tested and obviously I want to fail. You can punish me later for all I care, but I can't give this up. Noooo!"
I yelled and stood up. Then started dancing.
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