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It dawned on me that I hadn’t worked out how I was going to handle life with Adam on my own. The thought had never come to me that I would have to do e everything with him and for him.
I hadn’t told the guys who were setting up our new lives Lou wasn’t going to be coming now. I wonder if I’m too late. It probably won’t matter that much. They will find out when they come for me tomorrow. Being alone means I don’t have a lot of loose ends to tie up. I should let work know I won’t be back in.
Adam was still sleeping after our late night. Poor little fella. He won’t understand why mummy isn’t around anymore. He will be ok though he will adapt. His life with me will be good. I don’t think I will kill anyone for a while now. It is too much of a risk and I have too much at stake.
There was a loud banging at my back door. Not a knock but an insistent banging. No one used my back door. So who could th
101Cleaning up blood is a pain in the arse. If I could get away with not cleaning it up I would. Adam was his usual happy self but he broke my heart. He didn’t know better but he kept asking me the same question over and over.“Daddy. Where Mummy?”He smiled and had a cheeky grin on his face. I tried to explain that she wasn’t coming back but how many two-year-olds can understand that. It’s going to take time but he will learn.I understand how little I know about kids. He is now on solid food, not the mush that comes in jars. I’m happy about that it never looked appealing to me when Lou used to taste a bit then feed him.I have changed three nappies today so far and I’m now thinking about what age do kids get potty trained. There could be months left on this. Oh God I have already survived the first bits of teeth g but will there be more. Maybe I haven’t thought this through at all.All this
102My excitement so disappeared and changed to trepidation. When we were out of the park I was shown the back of a white windowless van and told to get in. I was paying for this treatment but did as I was asked. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’re they just going to kill us. That would be safer and more cost-effective for them.The back of the van was almost pitch black when the doors closed. The only light was what came in through the cracks in the seals. Adam started to fuss in my arms and the van started to move. Adam spoke to me in his limited way.“Daddy. Dark.”“Yes mate. It won’t be for long.”I kept my voice calm and soft. Hoping he would calm down himself. His creepy little baby hands pulled at my nose. Making sure I was there I hoped. He surprised me by saying.“Got nose.”I let out an involuntary laugh.“Haha give it back. H
103Nancy was kind to me and Adam. She kept us fed we’ll and clothed us. Adam had the grandma he had never had. His every need taken care of. To say she was in the business she was shocked me. I spoke to her in great length about what had been going on for the past eighteen months or so. At no point did she flinch or show any sings of this being abnormal.We had been staying here now for a week. It was starting to feel like home even though I knew it was just short term. She had explained to me that my house was now hers. The story was that she had caught it as an investment property. One of her three sons was living there for now. When I sold the house I had agreed to leave it furnished. Every part of this looked legal on paper. Her son told the police that he had just moved in on the day Wayne was alleging I stabbed him. He was now in a heap of trouble. The police were still looking for me though. I had shaved my head and was working on a beard. The stubble was
104I wasn’t driving but being driven. Adam sat in the back strapped into a car seat. My driver was meathead, Mike. I had been told he was called Mike now. There was no pretense that this was his real name. He didn’t always respond to it when I called him it. We were on the motorway doing a perfect seventy miles per hour. There was also a car following us. That car also contained one of Nancy’s other sons. It wasn’t explained to me why we were being followed and I was nervous about it.Mike leaned over and turned on the radio.“I like some music while I drive.”A tape started playing heavy metal. Not something I would have chosen but I wasn’t going to complain. Adam started jumping about in his seat.“You like this little man?” said Mike in his usual gravely deep voice.“Yes. Louder.”Mike laughed and turned it up. He looked over to me with a grin. I don’t know if
105It had been two years since I had read about some mad fucker called Harry. He was all over the newspapers and tv. He had scared the shit out of a town in Yorkshire. Like everything else it died down. He was wanted in connection with at least four murders. I admired how he had just disappeared into thin air. He had made a lot of mistakes though and I didn’t plan on making the same ones.I like people watching. Sitting some here public and watching people go by. Picking out my next victim. I wasn’t going to act on my urges today. It want easy to sit back and watch but it was out of sequence. If I act too fast then people will start to get jumpy. One week just one more short week and then it will be time to act.My last victim had been a child molester. I watched him for a month. He hung around schools and parks. He confirmed my suspicions one day making a move on a kid when her mum wasn’t watching talking to another mum in a park. He di
Sitting in the canteen at work is a hobby of mine, I suppose. People come and go; some see me and want a chat; some don't. It makes no difference to me so long as I don't make anyone uncomfortable. Watching a person is great exercise. It's even better when they don't know that they are the prey.Jeff stands at the vending machine with his back to me. I have always been curious as to what it would be like to smash the glass with someone's face. I might push the head down, using the glass to slice the neck. How would the blood go? Would it be a gushing mess or a rapid dribble? Maybe it would be disappointing, like when you cut your arm badly but very little blood comes at first, but then the wound fills with blood and just runs warm and free."Harry, are you ok, Buddy?"I snapped out of my fantasy because of this person who thinks he is safe around me. It takes me a second to think of his name, as he isn't any more important to me than the fly stuck to the flypaper in the corner of the r
What was the mistake Denis Nelson made? How did the police catch him? This is the question that I was considering today. From nineteen seventy-eight to eighty-three He killed a minimum of twelve men. Now that's impressive in my opinion but he got caught what could he have done differently. Denis lived in a flat on the upper floor. He didn't go straight to his way of disposing body's by boiling body parts until they fell apart he did bury a few first. My head was running away with its self I need to do more research on Denis. He was just someone I had come across in old newspapers at the library and he had some very good bad ideas.At the moment my job is a percher. It is mind-numbing I might not have the most interesting job in the world but it keeps a roof over my head. Rolling cloth measuring checking for faults and weighing it. Doing this for a minimum of eight hours a day is pretty good exercise considering that the cloth can with up to ninety kilograms and then
I went to the bank to withdraw some cash then went to a sandwich shop I like that sells subs. I like them but never found out why they were called subs maybe I will look into it one day. One of the best things about this sandwich shop was the view out of the huge clear glass window. I watch people and make up little stories in my head about each person. I don't think about killing them here there are just too many witnesses. It pleases me that not everyone is an arse hole. Some might like me for just being me not to just make themselves feel good. Today seems like a slow day for the shoppers in town it must be the rain keeping them home. As I scan the street a man catches my eye. He is slim about five feet ten tall his head is shaved and he has some tattoos on his face. It isn't his appearance that has caught my attention but his demeanour. The tracksuit wearing man is acting strange. He is pacing up and down in front of a bench that has a rucksack on it. I watch as he unzips the ba