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The house was behind me and getting smaller as I drove away. Adam was now silent again back in his mother’s arms as I drove obeying all the traffic laws to the letter. Getting pulled over now would be just my luck. It would most certainly serve me right for going off half-cocked and no plan. It would be nice to say I’m stressed but that would be an understatement. Seeing Lou with Adam in her arms made it seem like it was worth it. The blood-soaked clothes, on the other hand, I could do without. Driving in jeans that were twice their usual weight and sticky was not pleasant.
“Harry thank you. I owe you everything but what have you done?”
“Lou I could tell you but I probably shouldn’t.”
“Harry I’m scared. What have you done?”
“I will tell you but I have to get home before anyone sees me.”
“Ok.”
I know that I had said I would tell her what I had done but right now I was doing my best to think of a way not to. If I told her then she would be
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Nothing Wrong 35
35The money was no longer in my possession and to be fair I was a bit paranoid that I would never see it again. No, technically the money wasn’t mine but it was going to go a long way in my new life. Not all of the money was getting cleaned I kept three thousand back. Two thousand of this was to buy Adam and Louise new lives as well if they wanted to come with me when the manure hit the fan. I’m still not deluded enough to think I will be free forever. Like I would really need to worry about that when I tell her why it will need to happen. Let’s see how would it go.“Hi, Lou. Just wanted to say that I have killed at least three people. Potentially five there is two I don’t know as I had to leave the crime scene in a bit of a hurry but if you’re with that do you want to be with me until the time comes that we have to leave and then become someone else?”I changed my voice to a ridiculously high pitch for a woman’s
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36A week later and it had occurred to me that Louise was saying that she wanted to be with me. At the same time, she was permitting me to take things slow. I’m not a virgin don’t think that. I have had sex a grand total of four times. With four different people. That was what I thought was a reasonable amount to ddecide that sex is overrated and too time-consuming. It’s a huge distraction from other things in life that you are missing out on and need your undivided attention. Speaking of which my attention was now on Mrs Clark and where to find her. I was in my old school’s office and asking questions.“So you are saying that you were one of Mrs Clark?”“Yes and now I have grown up I realise that a lot of my life choices have been down to her and I want to show her my appreciation.”“Oh that’s such a nice thing, to do. So what can I do to help?”This girl on the reception desk was pretty. Pretty dumb. Now I wasn’t sure if just giving a fake name was go
Nothing Wrong 37
37The table was set when I walked in. Louise had found some wine glasses somewhere and placed them on the table half full of white wine. Taking the piss I picked up the cheap bottle of plonk and examined the label. I then picked up the glass held it to my nose and took a quick exaggerated sniff. Then I tasted it a small sip and then drilled it around my mouth like mouthwash. Instead of spitting it out, I swallowed it.“That will do nicely. You picked a good an there lass.”“I’m glad sir approves.”We were giggling and smiling. Her face was just relaxed and happy. Was this down to me or was it me? It felt right to put the food down on the work surface and placed my hands on her hips. We faced each other and her body tensed as I held her. She gasped in and I moved in closer and closer until our lips touched. I pulled back slowly and her eyes were still closed. She blinked her eyes open.“Well, Harry if that’s what wine does to you I will get it more ofte
Nothing Wrong 38
38Mrs Clark walked into my old junior school and I was watching. It seemed to take her a long time. I had bbeen waiting for three long boring hours. The time gave me a rest and some thinking space. Unfortunately for Mrs Clark, my thoughts were about how I could make her suffer. She is now old and I’m fit and strong. I wonder who will bully who now? I was liking the idea of taking her fingers and toes one by one in different ways I’m not sure if I can think of twenty ways to cut them off but I’m going to have a good go.The bitch came out of school and got into her car. It wasn’t aanything flashy a small blue car with a dent in the back like she had reversed into a post or something. She set off and I held back a few seconds to let a car pass and get in-between us. Her speed was infuriating she didn’t go above twenty-five miles an hour. Luckily for me she didn’t live far away just a few miles from the school about ten from my house. When she got to her house I coul
Nothing Wrong 39
39According to the papers, there had been a crime committed in the local area. The report said that there had been a gruesome blood bath at a local pimp and drug dealers house. One man had his head smashed into a pulp and was dead. One man was in a critical condition and early signs were bad. If he did survive he was going to have long term brain damage. One man was reported to be doing well and on the mend. He has been cooperative with the police and given them a description. When I read that my sphincter tightened up. My stoanach churned and the contents started to rise. I shot to my feet and ran up the stairs to the bathroom.Once I was cleaned up I stumbled back downstairs. Louise came down after me. She was talking but I didn’t hear her. Not a word made it to my brain. The sound might as well have been in a different country for all I cared right now. I sat back down at the table and started at the paper. It had a artists impression of my face looking back
Nothing Wrong 40
40So I might have been wrong about sex. It can be fun and very distracting. Louise is very good at it. If it was possible to stay in bed forever I would have. Unfortunately, bodily functions happen and eventually so would death. Someone at work pointed out that I looked like the guy in the paper. My first reaction was to run but at the same time, I knew that would get me pinched. So I faked it out.“Morning Harry. How you doing?”“Morning Colin. I’m not bad thanks. How about you?”I hate making small talk. Do I really give a shit if you’re having a crap day no? Is anything you say going to affect me in any way. Usually no but today.“Yeah not bad. Have you seen this in the paper?”“No what is it?”“here.”He passed me a newspaper. It was folded back open on the page with the picture of me. I gave the paper a shake and pretended to give it a good looking at.“Well I suppose he kind of looks like me but I haven’t got the stomach f
Nothing Wrong 41
41The police station isn’t a big building but it loomed over me now casting a dark shadow. Coppers walking in and out none of them seemed to even give me a second glance. This would be a huge gamble. Walking into a police station and trying to convince the police that I wasn’t the person Identified by one of the victims. When in reality I am the person they are looking for. What is the maximum amount of time you can stand in front of a police station before someone comes and asks if you are ok or need help? I have been here too long now I’m off to the pub for a pint. I can’t stand here any longer dithering.From the pub, I could see the police station across the road and I sat nursing a pint. If I had a gun I would be able to start picking off coppers left right and centre from here it would only be a short term activity. I’m under no delusions that the police wouldn’t see me sitting on a barstool in front of a huge clear glass window. Through my imaginary sights, I sta
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42Colin is a real lightweight when it comes to drinking he was sliding his words and falling all over after a few rounds on me. He got a taxi home around seven and I left around nine. My senses had been dulled by the drink but I had arranged to meet Colin the next day. We were going to go over our story and get it straight. The basics were that I was at his house until twelve ish. That would give me a reason for being home later that night in case my neighbours saw me burning stuff that night. I would say I was burning some paperwork and other things at night so I didn’t make any of their washing smelly. Try and look cconscientious about them. While at Colin’s we watched Terminator two on video and I was at his because I don’t have a VHS player. We have known each other for around six years after meeting in the pub. The times we say was very important and the reasons we knew the times. This was an easy way for us to say the same thing in different ways.When I got home
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105It had been two years since I had read about some mad fucker called Harry. He was all over the newspapers and tv. He had scared the shit out of a town in Yorkshire. Like everything else it died down. He was wanted in connection with at least four murders. I admired how he had just disappeared into thin air. He had made a lot of mistakes though and I didn’t plan on making the same ones.I like people watching. Sitting some here public and watching people go by. Picking out my next victim. I wasn’t going to act on my urges today. It want easy to sit back and watch but it was out of sequence. If I act too fast then people will start to get jumpy. One week just one more short week and then it will be time to act.My last victim had been a child molester. I watched him for a month. He hung around schools and parks. He confirmed my suspicions one day making a move on a kid when her mum wasn’t watching talking to another mum in a park. He di
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104I wasn’t driving but being driven. Adam sat in the back strapped into a car seat. My driver was meathead, Mike. I had been told he was called Mike now. There was no pretense that this was his real name. He didn’t always respond to it when I called him it. We were on the motorway doing a perfect seventy miles per hour. There was also a car following us. That car also contained one of Nancy’s other sons. It wasn’t explained to me why we were being followed and I was nervous about it.Mike leaned over and turned on the radio.“I like some music while I drive.”A tape started playing heavy metal. Not something I would have chosen but I wasn’t going to complain. Adam started jumping about in his seat.“You like this little man?” said Mike in his usual gravely deep voice.“Yes. Louder.”Mike laughed and turned it up. He looked over to me with a grin. I don’t know if
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103Nancy was kind to me and Adam. She kept us fed we’ll and clothed us. Adam had the grandma he had never had. His every need taken care of. To say she was in the business she was shocked me. I spoke to her in great length about what had been going on for the past eighteen months or so. At no point did she flinch or show any sings of this being abnormal.We had been staying here now for a week. It was starting to feel like home even though I knew it was just short term. She had explained to me that my house was now hers. The story was that she had caught it as an investment property. One of her three sons was living there for now. When I sold the house I had agreed to leave it furnished. Every part of this looked legal on paper. Her son told the police that he had just moved in on the day Wayne was alleging I stabbed him. He was now in a heap of trouble. The police were still looking for me though. I had shaved my head and was working on a beard. The stubble was
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102My excitement so disappeared and changed to trepidation. When we were out of the park I was shown the back of a white windowless van and told to get in. I was paying for this treatment but did as I was asked. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’re they just going to kill us. That would be safer and more cost-effective for them.The back of the van was almost pitch black when the doors closed. The only light was what came in through the cracks in the seals. Adam started to fuss in my arms and the van started to move. Adam spoke to me in his limited way.“Daddy. Dark.”“Yes mate. It won’t be for long.”I kept my voice calm and soft. Hoping he would calm down himself. His creepy little baby hands pulled at my nose. Making sure I was there I hoped. He surprised me by saying.“Got nose.”I let out an involuntary laugh.“Haha give it back. H
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101Cleaning up blood is a pain in the arse. If I could get away with not cleaning it up I would. Adam was his usual happy self but he broke my heart. He didn’t know better but he kept asking me the same question over and over.“Daddy. Where Mummy?”He smiled and had a cheeky grin on his face. I tried to explain that she wasn’t coming back but how many two-year-olds can understand that. It’s going to take time but he will learn.I understand how little I know about kids. He is now on solid food, not the mush that comes in jars. I’m happy about that it never looked appealing to me when Lou used to taste a bit then feed him.I have changed three nappies today so far and I’m now thinking about what age do kids get potty trained. There could be months left on this. Oh God I have already survived the first bits of teeth g but will there be more. Maybe I haven’t thought this through at all.All this
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100It dawned on me that I hadn’t worked out how I was going to handle life with Adam on my own. The thought had never come to me that I would have to do e everything with him and for him.I hadn’t told the guys who were setting up our new lives Lou wasn’t going to be coming now. I wonder if I’m too late. It probably won’t matter that much. They will find out when they come for me tomorrow. Being alone means I don’t have a lot of loose ends to tie up. I should let work know I won’t be back in.Adam was still sleeping after our late night. Poor little fella. He won’t understand why mummy isn’t around anymore. He will be ok though he will adapt. His life with me will be good. I don’t think I will kill anyone for a while now. It is too much of a risk and I have too much at stake.There was a loud banging at my back door. Not a knock but an insistent banging. No one used my back door. So who could th
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99When Lou was dead. It didn’t take long and I hope it was an easy passing I wrapped her in plastic. Then rolled her into her grave. Unlike most of my other victims, I didn’t take off hands or remove her teeth. At some point in the future, the police will get an anonymous tip on where to find her. She deserved a proper send-off.Being in the woods at night is an unpleasant experience. Every sound made by send-off or the wind blowing through the trees made me tense. Most people would think that a monster lay in wait or a serial killer was after them. Not me I envision blue lights and sirens.The first few shovels full of dirt landed on the plastic making a disturbing noise. Grit and pebbles rolling on the sheet. Another few and the sound was muffled. Then after it was dirt on dirt.Back in my car Adam was snoozing away. So blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had happened. That is not a conversation I’m in a rush to have. At least he i
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98Reaching across a car with a rag to cover someone’s mouth and nose is hard. It’s made even harder when you feel like shit. My guts were still churning but Lou had cottoned on to my plan. It was inevitable. I just wish I could have trusted her. She could have had a good life and maybe I would have stopped killing.Lou tried to put up a fight but I was too quick and strong for her. Somehow Adam stayed asleep through the brief shuffle. Small victories have to be taken when you can.Now the effects of chloroform don’t last long just a few minutes. So instead of just driving off hopping to get to her grave before she came too again I cable tied her hands and legs together. There was no need for a gag. When she comes round I will have questions for her to answer.We drove in silence on the road for about half a mile then turned right onto a dirt track. The track was muddy and only just wide enough for my car. Branches and bushes scrapped at
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97We had ordered our takeaway and was just finishing eating. I hadn’t told Lou that we were going to move the body tonight yet. If I’m being honest which is unusually for me these days. I not looking forward to telling her. It will come as a shock I think. At the end of the day who wants to dig up a body that has been rotting in the ground for over a year.The more I think about the body the more I think moving it is a bad idea. In fact it is a bad idea. Yes I could have left clues there but I’m going to disappear like smoke in the wind after tomorrow. I’m not going to move him. He can rest in peace for a little while longer.Then another thought hits me. What if Lou has told Wayne about it. If she has then he could have told the police and I could be walking into, a trap. Shit. Have the police been watching my movements? Have they seen me go back to the scene of a crime and I’m oblivious to it? My palms start to swea
