2021-07-27 16:14:3959
After pulling myself together I realised that Lou had done two things. One hurt me more than any kick or punch ever had and that was she left me alone. She brought up all the feelings that others had made me feel. At the time I couldn’t understand but now I see. Both my parents were gone. Friends or so-called friends had been and gone. All leaving me on my own. Lou threatened me with that again. The other thing was she said
“You’re not as nice as you make out.”
Now that was telling me she was having doubts about me. Someone or something has got in her head telling her something is off about me. What it was I don’t know but I will find out before saying anything to her at all. We let the conversation die at the point of her revolution and went to bed. I had to be at work in about four hours and I hand a bag of ash to dispose of as well. If I don’t sleep I’m leaving myself open to mistakes.
After what felt like t
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Nothing Wrong 60
60Lou seemed to still have something on her mind after our little spat. I had been avoiding the inevitable conversation for days now. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife when either one of us walked into a room with the other tension was evident. It was bugging me that more and more people seemed to be getting suspicious of me. Maybe if I look back at my life people have always had an aversion to me. Not many stayed around me for long. Lou was probably the longest relationship out of family I have had and we had only known each other for about six months now. Today I was planning to go car shopping but this with Lou was getting to me. I was going to have it out with her today before I told her about going car shopping. Straight after the washing up was done. Yes I’m fully aware that in procrastinating but. But nothing do it and get it over with I told myself. Right here it goes.“Lou can you come here a minute please.”I called to her as
Nothing Wrong 61
61Well, that was wired. I have never seen my face do that before nor have I had a voice in my head before. Is this what takes over when I kill? What was going on? Water was still dripping from my face and my mouth was open.“Harry, you ok?”Lou called up the stairs. Quickly I snapped back fully in control.“Yeah, I will be down in a minute.”I was back to myself calm and clear my mind must just be playing tricks on me with too much stress. There is nothing wrong. I am fine. With a hand towel and went downstairs.“Ok. I’m back. So as I was trying to say in a knob head way we are going car shopping. If you want to come that is?”Lou jumped up and down while clapping her hands. The smile on her face nearly touched her ears. Her performance got under my skin slightly. She looked like she was a little girl getting to ride a horse for the first time. What was I dealing with for fucks sake?A
Nothing Wrong 62
62 The perfect car sat straight in front of us. It was a bit bigger than mine but it had everything I felt was needed. A bigger engine giving more speed if ever needed. Five doors making it more practical as a family car. Finally the best part is a bigger boot to squeeze a body into. Lou was even happier with this car than the others viewed today. We took it for a test drive and it ran like a dream. Everything felt right sounded right and had no knocks or bangs. From my limited knowledge, this was the car for me. The price was just a little bit high but everyone knows that the price you see on a car is not the price you pay. The salesman stood looking at me with a huge toothy smile and his hand was outstretched. “So Harry. I hope you Don’t mind me calling you Harry. How do you like this little beauty? You and your family hear looked great as you pulled up in it. Especially you wife. “ This is one slimy prick the way he eyes Lou up and down makes me want to vo
Nothing Wrong 63
63My recent discovery was that men lie about sex. I never have and didn’t even see the need to lie about sex. It still doesn’t make sense why you would. When I would listen to men talk about it though they would say how many times a day they would get it and all the different positions they would use. So far this is not my experience. I took Louise out for a meal and we got drunk. I was horny and was wanting sex. Maybe my suggestions were a bit too far but I thought that women had no limits like men from what I had heard. Lou didn’t slap me but she turned me down flat. This may have been down to my suggestion or the way that I suggested it I am unaware at this moment in time what the problem was. I have bigger problems than that to deal with right now.My lovely neighbor’s have been speaking to Lou a lot. They have been asking questions and they are awkward. Not that I can’t answer them but I don’t want to and some of the questions
Nothing Wrong 64
64 Back in nineteen eighty-seven was coming up to leaving school. Yes, it had been less than a smooth ride but I had made it. People kept my distance but there was this one girl that started to speak to me. She had also, been, starting was taking a dislike to humanity. We started to hang out with each other. To us we were stating to have fun or so I thought. From time to time people took the piss out of us. They would say stupid childish things as they walked past. “Harry and Hannah sitting in a tree F U C K I N G.” Was there a favourite rhyme to chant as they passed? It really didn’t bother me secretly I wanted that to come true. One night we had been walking up and down the streets drinking a bottle of twenty. We sat down on a roundabout in the park passing the bottle back and forth slowly getting pissed. Out of nowhere Hannah leaned in whispered in my ear. “You’re my best friend. I would do anything for you. Would you do the same for me
Nothing Wrong 65
65Lou had my hand as she looked me in the eye. My blood ran cold it was obvious what was going to say wasn’t going to be good.“Ok. So I know you won’t promise not to lose your shit but please try.”My mouth was very dry and all I could do was nod a yes in reply.“Good. The other night when I was out I got talking to a man at the pub.”She paused and I didn’t like where this was going. Instead of saying anything, I let the silence linger. When she couldn’t take anymore she continued.“He bought me drinks and I let him. When he thought he had paid enough for a night with me he started to grow at me. He squeezed my bum and tried for my tits.”I made a very big effort to stay in control. This was sounding very bad and I didn’t like where it was going even more but I had to know who he was.“Who was he?”“I don’t want to say.”
Nothing Wrong 66
66Today is going to be a good day. I have made up my mind that I can make days fun for me without stress. Stress is the order of the day for one man though. Wayne is going to find out that he has pissed me off. He might be expecting me to hurt him but I’m not. Well, not today anyway. Before leaving the house for the day I kiss Lou and Adam. Adams little chubby face looks up at me smiling.“Da Da.”If there were any flies near my mouth would have been open ready to catch them.“Did you hear that Lou? He said Da Da.”“Yes, I did. Who’s getting to be a big clever boy.”She lifted Adam up over her head holding him face to face and kissed him. He giggled. I hugged them both and said bye.Outside my house was my new blue common as muck car. It didn’t have the same feel as my old crappy red car. The car drove nicely and did what it needed but I hadn’t had the chance to do any kind
Nothing Wrong 67
67Who knew that killing wasn’t just about the hunt. It never occurred to me that I would like knowing that people were looking for me and had no idea who I was. People were going missing and some were turning up dead. The town was starting to talk and they were scared. It didn’t mater if you were a man or a woman and your age didn’t matter. You could be in your house or on the street and you could go missing or turn up dead. Rumours had spread that these murders and disappearances had to be linked. In a town like this people didn’t get killed or kidnapped. You moved away and everyone knew or you died of old age and boredom. Now things were getting a bit hot and maybe I should lay low. First, though Wayne needs to suffer. If he thinks I’m behind the murders then that plays into my hand. He was doing a stock take up on the fifth floor.Riding in the lift to the fifth floor is fun. The lift is an old-style one with two sets of doors you open
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105
105It had been two years since I had read about some mad fucker called Harry. He was all over the newspapers and tv. He had scared the shit out of a town in Yorkshire. Like everything else it died down. He was wanted in connection with at least four murders. I admired how he had just disappeared into thin air. He had made a lot of mistakes though and I didn’t plan on making the same ones.I like people watching. Sitting some here public and watching people go by. Picking out my next victim. I wasn’t going to act on my urges today. It want easy to sit back and watch but it was out of sequence. If I act too fast then people will start to get jumpy. One week just one more short week and then it will be time to act.My last victim had been a child molester. I watched him for a month. He hung around schools and parks. He confirmed my suspicions one day making a move on a kid when her mum wasn’t watching talking to another mum in a park. He di
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104I wasn’t driving but being driven. Adam sat in the back strapped into a car seat. My driver was meathead, Mike. I had been told he was called Mike now. There was no pretense that this was his real name. He didn’t always respond to it when I called him it. We were on the motorway doing a perfect seventy miles per hour. There was also a car following us. That car also contained one of Nancy’s other sons. It wasn’t explained to me why we were being followed and I was nervous about it.Mike leaned over and turned on the radio.“I like some music while I drive.”A tape started playing heavy metal. Not something I would have chosen but I wasn’t going to complain. Adam started jumping about in his seat.“You like this little man?” said Mike in his usual gravely deep voice.“Yes. Louder.”Mike laughed and turned it up. He looked over to me with a grin. I don’t know if
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103Nancy was kind to me and Adam. She kept us fed we’ll and clothed us. Adam had the grandma he had never had. His every need taken care of. To say she was in the business she was shocked me. I spoke to her in great length about what had been going on for the past eighteen months or so. At no point did she flinch or show any sings of this being abnormal.We had been staying here now for a week. It was starting to feel like home even though I knew it was just short term. She had explained to me that my house was now hers. The story was that she had caught it as an investment property. One of her three sons was living there for now. When I sold the house I had agreed to leave it furnished. Every part of this looked legal on paper. Her son told the police that he had just moved in on the day Wayne was alleging I stabbed him. He was now in a heap of trouble. The police were still looking for me though. I had shaved my head and was working on a beard. The stubble was
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102My excitement so disappeared and changed to trepidation. When we were out of the park I was shown the back of a white windowless van and told to get in. I was paying for this treatment but did as I was asked. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’re they just going to kill us. That would be safer and more cost-effective for them.The back of the van was almost pitch black when the doors closed. The only light was what came in through the cracks in the seals. Adam started to fuss in my arms and the van started to move. Adam spoke to me in his limited way.“Daddy. Dark.”“Yes mate. It won’t be for long.”I kept my voice calm and soft. Hoping he would calm down himself. His creepy little baby hands pulled at my nose. Making sure I was there I hoped. He surprised me by saying.“Got nose.”I let out an involuntary laugh.“Haha give it back. H
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101Cleaning up blood is a pain in the arse. If I could get away with not cleaning it up I would. Adam was his usual happy self but he broke my heart. He didn’t know better but he kept asking me the same question over and over.“Daddy. Where Mummy?”He smiled and had a cheeky grin on his face. I tried to explain that she wasn’t coming back but how many two-year-olds can understand that. It’s going to take time but he will learn.I understand how little I know about kids. He is now on solid food, not the mush that comes in jars. I’m happy about that it never looked appealing to me when Lou used to taste a bit then feed him.I have changed three nappies today so far and I’m now thinking about what age do kids get potty trained. There could be months left on this. Oh God I have already survived the first bits of teeth g but will there be more. Maybe I haven’t thought this through at all.All this
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100It dawned on me that I hadn’t worked out how I was going to handle life with Adam on my own. The thought had never come to me that I would have to do e everything with him and for him.I hadn’t told the guys who were setting up our new lives Lou wasn’t going to be coming now. I wonder if I’m too late. It probably won’t matter that much. They will find out when they come for me tomorrow. Being alone means I don’t have a lot of loose ends to tie up. I should let work know I won’t be back in.Adam was still sleeping after our late night. Poor little fella. He won’t understand why mummy isn’t around anymore. He will be ok though he will adapt. His life with me will be good. I don’t think I will kill anyone for a while now. It is too much of a risk and I have too much at stake.There was a loud banging at my back door. Not a knock but an insistent banging. No one used my back door. So who could th
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99When Lou was dead. It didn’t take long and I hope it was an easy passing I wrapped her in plastic. Then rolled her into her grave. Unlike most of my other victims, I didn’t take off hands or remove her teeth. At some point in the future, the police will get an anonymous tip on where to find her. She deserved a proper send-off.Being in the woods at night is an unpleasant experience. Every sound made by send-off or the wind blowing through the trees made me tense. Most people would think that a monster lay in wait or a serial killer was after them. Not me I envision blue lights and sirens.The first few shovels full of dirt landed on the plastic making a disturbing noise. Grit and pebbles rolling on the sheet. Another few and the sound was muffled. Then after it was dirt on dirt.Back in my car Adam was snoozing away. So blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had happened. That is not a conversation I’m in a rush to have. At least he i
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98Reaching across a car with a rag to cover someone’s mouth and nose is hard. It’s made even harder when you feel like shit. My guts were still churning but Lou had cottoned on to my plan. It was inevitable. I just wish I could have trusted her. She could have had a good life and maybe I would have stopped killing.Lou tried to put up a fight but I was too quick and strong for her. Somehow Adam stayed asleep through the brief shuffle. Small victories have to be taken when you can.Now the effects of chloroform don’t last long just a few minutes. So instead of just driving off hopping to get to her grave before she came too again I cable tied her hands and legs together. There was no need for a gag. When she comes round I will have questions for her to answer.We drove in silence on the road for about half a mile then turned right onto a dirt track. The track was muddy and only just wide enough for my car. Branches and bushes scrapped at
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97We had ordered our takeaway and was just finishing eating. I hadn’t told Lou that we were going to move the body tonight yet. If I’m being honest which is unusually for me these days. I not looking forward to telling her. It will come as a shock I think. At the end of the day who wants to dig up a body that has been rotting in the ground for over a year.The more I think about the body the more I think moving it is a bad idea. In fact it is a bad idea. Yes I could have left clues there but I’m going to disappear like smoke in the wind after tomorrow. I’m not going to move him. He can rest in peace for a little while longer.Then another thought hits me. What if Lou has told Wayne about it. If she has then he could have told the police and I could be walking into, a trap. Shit. Have the police been watching my movements? Have they seen me go back to the scene of a crime and I’m oblivious to it? My palms start to swea
