2021-09-10 03:24:0970
Being normal is hard when you are not what is conventionally thought of as normal. Thinking differently to others makes you stand out. People don’t know how to act around you and it leaves you lonely. It’s all very well to say be yourself. What do you do when being yourself makes you isolated and angry? All my life feelings have confused me. I can’t judge how people feel just by looking at them. Even when I am told how they feel I don’t know how to respond. Every emotion takes a lot of thought on my part. TV doesn’t show me real feelings. It took a long time to see that was all fake. In real life, people don’t speak as they do. Knowing that the police are looking for me has me walking on eggshells I’m going to try harder.
Lou was surprised when I walked in from work early. She was acting suspiciously. She was on the phone when I walked in and as soon as she saw me she claimed the phone down. She switched from serious on the
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Nothing Wrong 71
71There is nothing for it now. After a day of thinking I need to know if Lou will come with me when the time comes. I have it all set up with my large friend that when I have to go she is a possibility. As I lay in bed next to her I summon my courage and ask.“Lou? You awake?”“Yeah what is it?”“ If I was to go away would you come with me?”“How do you mean?”“Let’s say I have to move away would you come? We wouldn’t be able to come back.”Lou sat up in bed and looked down at me.“When and why?”“I might have to disappear. I don’t know when but plans need to be made.”“Can I have some time to think?”“Yes. I will need to know your answer by tomorrow night.”“Ok. Why the rush?”“Some things have happened and I can’t stay if it all goes tits up.&
Nothing Wrong 72
72Lou walked in minutes after I had made my discovery. I shot downstairs taking them three at a time. How I didn’t break my neck is a mystery.Lou had no idea why I was in such a flap. Gripping her by the shoulders was when I saw how much I was scaring her with my actions.“Lou thank god you’re here. Where have you been?”“Calm down. We just went to the shop for some fags and milk. What’s up with you?”“Nothing But when I got home I saw your bags. And you know?”“What you thought that we were leaving because you are weird?”“Well, I wouldn’t say weird. But yes.”“I’m glad your not a cop or a crime would never get solved. You asked me if I would go with you at short notice yes?”“Yes?”I had no idea what Lou was getting at but the way she was speaking had me getting excited.“So you said s
Nothing Wrong 73
73 Wayne stepped back as I walked towards him. The most inside was swirling and the beast was wanting to play. Now was not the time for it to come out. It was far too risky. Lou could see and so would others. “Harry. Let’s talk about this.” “Do you think we can talk now? You just made a threat that can’t be taken lightly.” “Back off Harry, I’m warning you.” “Oh your warning me. I’m so scared. Shut up and get in.” I opened the car door. Then I gave it a nod. Wayne did not look sure what to do. “You want me to get in the car. Fuck off.” “Yes get in or I wall make you.” “Where will you take me and why?” “Nowhere special just away from here. So I can get on with my business. Now get in.” Wayne gave in and did as he was told. He had created enough of a scene thing. My neighbours were out getting a right good eye full. Unknowingly the stupid prick had just bought himself some time. I estimated th
Nothing Wrong 74
74Well, that was informative. There are more people than I thought watching me. One of them wants to offer me a job. What a joke. If I was so good then no one would be looking in my direction.Wayne was a problem. No he is a problem. What can I do? I have said too much. He can’t do anything with the information but he has it now. That gives me a bad feeling in my gut.Thinking of Wayne makes me remember Lou and Adam. My old new crappy blue car is still outside the pub and I don’t have a ticket. It’s a small victory but today I will take it. I jump in and turn the key.Nothing. I turn the key back and forth. All that happens is a rapid clicking noise. That sound tells me the battery is dead. I knew my little red car was a good an.I have a couple of choices and they are pretty straightforward. I ask in the pub if I can get a jump or bump of anyone or I call for a mechanic and get ripped off. Back into the pub, I go.“
Nothing Wrong 75
75The front door was left open as I ran to the kitchen. The radio was on and a presenter was taking calls. Lou was out in the garden hanging up the laundry.“Harry. Do you want us to take our shoes off before we come in?”“Err yeah. Make yourselves at home we will be with you in a minute.”Lou is not going to be happy with me. She is looking scruffy and tired. When I tell her Keith and his family are here she is going to take my nuts off with a rusty spoon.Lou was still pegging clothes to the line so maybe I have a minute. I get a glass of wine and a can of beer for my guests. I put them down on the coffee table and make a quick excuse about getting ready. I nip upstairs and get Lou a change of clothes and a hairbrush. I put them in a carrier bag and drop them out of a window into the back garden and run back to the kitchen. Passing my confused guests.“Lou. Come here.” I call to her in a stage whisper.<
Nothing Wrong 76
76“Lou you go get ready for bed I'll sort down here out.”“You sure?”“Yeah, you go get ready for me.”I slapped her bum playfully as she started to run upstairs. As soon as she was out of sight I went outsideThe car that I strongly suspected as being Wayne’s was getting looked at. I made no effort to hide myself as I approached.The engine wasn’t running and no one looked to be inside. Lowering my head to look through the windows I could just see bin bags filling the back seats. In the passenger’s foot well were empty cups cans and food wrappers. Wayne wasn’t inside.Standing up confused as to why Wayne wasn’t back yet. As I started to look up the street to see if there was any sign of Wayne I see a shadow in the window of the car to the side of me. The second I see the shadow something hits me on the back of the head and I am out like a light.It was still da
Nothing Wrong 77
77Lou had a plan and I wanted to hear it. Wayne was on my bedroom floor blood dribbling from his mouth and running from his cuts.“What’s your plan Lou?”“You have killed before and I guess that is why you don’t want the police. So you can kill again.”“No Lou I can’t. I have had problems with this guy since you told me he tried it on with you. He put me in hospital. Then yesterday he was outside here. We hd a big argument in the street. Everyone saw. His car is still outside and I would be suspect number one.”“Shit. I didn’t know. So what do we do?”“Wait was that your idea. To just kill him?”“Well. Yes.”“You came up with that plan easy enough. What am I some Killing machine. Just because I killed one man for you before.”“Everyone I speak to says you aren’t right in the head. This creep thinks you
Nothing Wrong 78
78Wayne Bernard was proving to be a bigger pain than I could have ever anticipated. Right now he was sat next to me in the passenger seat of his car bleeding. Usually seeing him in this state would please me and get me excited. Not now even though something inside was storing and wanted to come out. I was not going to let it.I came up with a plan to get out of this mess. There was a bit going to be needed. If I pulled this off then it will be a small victory. Before I did anything I got a shirt out of one of the bags in the back and wiped everything I touched. It wasn’t perfect but hopefully I had got rid of all my prints.I pulled up outside the hospital for a second time. The engine was still running as I got out. The door was left open and I ran around to Wayne. I dragged him around to the driver’s side. This wasn’t a time for care. I dumped him in making sure he was leaning on the horn. The second the horn sounded I was away on my toes.
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105It had been two years since I had read about some mad fucker called Harry. He was all over the newspapers and tv. He had scared the shit out of a town in Yorkshire. Like everything else it died down. He was wanted in connection with at least four murders. I admired how he had just disappeared into thin air. He had made a lot of mistakes though and I didn’t plan on making the same ones.I like people watching. Sitting some here public and watching people go by. Picking out my next victim. I wasn’t going to act on my urges today. It want easy to sit back and watch but it was out of sequence. If I act too fast then people will start to get jumpy. One week just one more short week and then it will be time to act.My last victim had been a child molester. I watched him for a month. He hung around schools and parks. He confirmed my suspicions one day making a move on a kid when her mum wasn’t watching talking to another mum in a park. He di
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104I wasn’t driving but being driven. Adam sat in the back strapped into a car seat. My driver was meathead, Mike. I had been told he was called Mike now. There was no pretense that this was his real name. He didn’t always respond to it when I called him it. We were on the motorway doing a perfect seventy miles per hour. There was also a car following us. That car also contained one of Nancy’s other sons. It wasn’t explained to me why we were being followed and I was nervous about it.Mike leaned over and turned on the radio.“I like some music while I drive.”A tape started playing heavy metal. Not something I would have chosen but I wasn’t going to complain. Adam started jumping about in his seat.“You like this little man?” said Mike in his usual gravely deep voice.“Yes. Louder.”Mike laughed and turned it up. He looked over to me with a grin. I don’t know if
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103Nancy was kind to me and Adam. She kept us fed we’ll and clothed us. Adam had the grandma he had never had. His every need taken care of. To say she was in the business she was shocked me. I spoke to her in great length about what had been going on for the past eighteen months or so. At no point did she flinch or show any sings of this being abnormal.We had been staying here now for a week. It was starting to feel like home even though I knew it was just short term. She had explained to me that my house was now hers. The story was that she had caught it as an investment property. One of her three sons was living there for now. When I sold the house I had agreed to leave it furnished. Every part of this looked legal on paper. Her son told the police that he had just moved in on the day Wayne was alleging I stabbed him. He was now in a heap of trouble. The police were still looking for me though. I had shaved my head and was working on a beard. The stubble was
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102My excitement so disappeared and changed to trepidation. When we were out of the park I was shown the back of a white windowless van and told to get in. I was paying for this treatment but did as I was asked. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’re they just going to kill us. That would be safer and more cost-effective for them.The back of the van was almost pitch black when the doors closed. The only light was what came in through the cracks in the seals. Adam started to fuss in my arms and the van started to move. Adam spoke to me in his limited way.“Daddy. Dark.”“Yes mate. It won’t be for long.”I kept my voice calm and soft. Hoping he would calm down himself. His creepy little baby hands pulled at my nose. Making sure I was there I hoped. He surprised me by saying.“Got nose.”I let out an involuntary laugh.“Haha give it back. H
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101Cleaning up blood is a pain in the arse. If I could get away with not cleaning it up I would. Adam was his usual happy self but he broke my heart. He didn’t know better but he kept asking me the same question over and over.“Daddy. Where Mummy?”He smiled and had a cheeky grin on his face. I tried to explain that she wasn’t coming back but how many two-year-olds can understand that. It’s going to take time but he will learn.I understand how little I know about kids. He is now on solid food, not the mush that comes in jars. I’m happy about that it never looked appealing to me when Lou used to taste a bit then feed him.I have changed three nappies today so far and I’m now thinking about what age do kids get potty trained. There could be months left on this. Oh God I have already survived the first bits of teeth g but will there be more. Maybe I haven’t thought this through at all.All this
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100It dawned on me that I hadn’t worked out how I was going to handle life with Adam on my own. The thought had never come to me that I would have to do e everything with him and for him.I hadn’t told the guys who were setting up our new lives Lou wasn’t going to be coming now. I wonder if I’m too late. It probably won’t matter that much. They will find out when they come for me tomorrow. Being alone means I don’t have a lot of loose ends to tie up. I should let work know I won’t be back in.Adam was still sleeping after our late night. Poor little fella. He won’t understand why mummy isn’t around anymore. He will be ok though he will adapt. His life with me will be good. I don’t think I will kill anyone for a while now. It is too much of a risk and I have too much at stake.There was a loud banging at my back door. Not a knock but an insistent banging. No one used my back door. So who could th
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99When Lou was dead. It didn’t take long and I hope it was an easy passing I wrapped her in plastic. Then rolled her into her grave. Unlike most of my other victims, I didn’t take off hands or remove her teeth. At some point in the future, the police will get an anonymous tip on where to find her. She deserved a proper send-off.Being in the woods at night is an unpleasant experience. Every sound made by send-off or the wind blowing through the trees made me tense. Most people would think that a monster lay in wait or a serial killer was after them. Not me I envision blue lights and sirens.The first few shovels full of dirt landed on the plastic making a disturbing noise. Grit and pebbles rolling on the sheet. Another few and the sound was muffled. Then after it was dirt on dirt.Back in my car Adam was snoozing away. So blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had happened. That is not a conversation I’m in a rush to have. At least he i
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98Reaching across a car with a rag to cover someone’s mouth and nose is hard. It’s made even harder when you feel like shit. My guts were still churning but Lou had cottoned on to my plan. It was inevitable. I just wish I could have trusted her. She could have had a good life and maybe I would have stopped killing.Lou tried to put up a fight but I was too quick and strong for her. Somehow Adam stayed asleep through the brief shuffle. Small victories have to be taken when you can.Now the effects of chloroform don’t last long just a few minutes. So instead of just driving off hopping to get to her grave before she came too again I cable tied her hands and legs together. There was no need for a gag. When she comes round I will have questions for her to answer.We drove in silence on the road for about half a mile then turned right onto a dirt track. The track was muddy and only just wide enough for my car. Branches and bushes scrapped at
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97We had ordered our takeaway and was just finishing eating. I hadn’t told Lou that we were going to move the body tonight yet. If I’m being honest which is unusually for me these days. I not looking forward to telling her. It will come as a shock I think. At the end of the day who wants to dig up a body that has been rotting in the ground for over a year.The more I think about the body the more I think moving it is a bad idea. In fact it is a bad idea. Yes I could have left clues there but I’m going to disappear like smoke in the wind after tomorrow. I’m not going to move him. He can rest in peace for a little while longer.Then another thought hits me. What if Lou has told Wayne about it. If she has then he could have told the police and I could be walking into, a trap. Shit. Have the police been watching my movements? Have they seen me go back to the scene of a crime and I’m oblivious to it? My palms start to swea
