2021-11-01 03:51:3588
The longer I went without killing the harder I found it to keep calm. At some point soon I’m going to have to kill. It’s not like being addicted to something. You can give up an addiction. This is a compulsion an urge that can’t be ignored.
Over the time I have been keeping a low profile I have been thinking. I am who I am and I can’t change this.
Lou was worrying me though. She has got into the whole research thing and she has been asking to come with me for my next kill. This is a problem that I don’t want to deal with. We were sat at the dinner table. Adam was in bed and we were eating.
“Harry. I want to come with you. Show me how to do it.”
“No. I don’t want you to do this. Once you have done this there is no going back.”
“Why? I know what you do. Now I want to see you at work. That will put me in the same boat as you and the trust will be unbreakable then.”
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Nothing Wrong 89
89It appears that Lou was not as ready for the experience of seeing a corpse as she thought. She lost the contents of her stomach twice on the way to the barn.When I got closer to the barn my stomach started to do flips as well. Not that the body was a problem for me but a sold sign had been put up.“Lou. This is bad.”“What is?”“Look.”I pointed out the sign.“There was no sign of any kind last time I was here now there is a sold sign. The chances are a developer is going to be working on this place very soon.”“But said you left no evidence.”“Yes but mistakes can be made. I’m not perfect and this was my first kill. Also nobody thinks they have left any evidence. That is a sure-fire way of getting caught. Being overconfident inn your ability’s.”“So what are we going to do?”Now that was an int
Nothing Wrong 90
90We got home and I had hardly said a word on the journey. I had to think. Lou made it difficult not by talking but by just being there.Dian had kept Adam happy and was happy that we were quicker than she expected. I offered to pay her and she refused.Now we were home my mind went on to suspicion of Lou again. Why was she so keen to get involved in my mission.She was all too keen to see evidence of my murders. Like she didn’t believe me. It baffled me why she would think I was making something like this up?I left Lou and Adam in my living room and went to my room. It was the only place I could still find peace. Untouched by others.As I put my head on the pillow something was wrong. Something was still wrong with Lou but I couldn’t put my finger on it.She was too calm. She was acting wrong. It was like she was acting. Days had passed with no sexual innuendos. He’ll no sex.I rolled over ont
Nothing Wrong 91
91I booked a week off work. I deserve a break now and again. Not that this is going to be a break. Lou didn’t know I was off. How am I supposed to stalk someone who knows I’m around?Today is the first day of Lou watch. She is going to star in her own one girl show. It isn’t going to break viewing records with an audience of one. I think I will like it though. My love is turning to hate. Unless she proves me wrong this week she is a dead woman walking.This morning I put on my work clothes and left the house. I drove down the street a little way and turned down a side street. If Lou came out of the house today I would know. Unless she went out of the back. Shit that’s a huge oversite on my part. I’m going to have to see how this goes.If this doesn’t get sorted out soon I’m going to give myself an ulcer or a heart attack. In all honesty, I don’t want either. Lou has ruined my life.That sent me into
Nothing Wrong 92
92Wayne. I wanted to burst out of the bushes and charge at him. They must think I’m stupid. Probably laughing at me right now. I started to torture my self with what I thought they might be saying. In my head giving the stupid voices just to make myself feel better.“Harry has no idea they we have been meeting. Hehe.”Girly giggle from Lou.“Yeah he is so dumb. Such a wanker. Thinks he is better than everyone. Ooo look at me I’m Harry and I get away with murder.”I closed my eyes for a long second and took in a deep breath of cool air through my nose. Slowly breathing out of my mouth. I felt a little better. Well not better but in control again.I knew could beat Wayne to death if I had to. If he was on his own but Lou was there and I don’t think she would let me. Plus we are in a public space anyone could come at any time.I stayed in place. My hands were clenched into fists. I glanced down
Nothing Wrong 93
93I left as if I was going to work. Instead of just parking outside my house I went to the barn. It was important see what activity there was going on around it.Driving up the bumpy beaten path that was the road to the barn. I had my senses on high alert. Looking around for any life any signs of change. Looking listening and even sniffing the air.Things had changed. For a start the sold sign was gone. Metal fencing had been put up around the barn. Not right up to the building but around the parameter of land. No machines had arrived yet and there was no one around.I pulled up and got out of my crappy blue car. This car was not a good car and I was starting to hate it. Every time I go to my car now I’m worried it just won’t start.This was risky. How many times do you see that a murderer goes back to the scene of a crime? Getting seen here could cause me a problem. If I am seen I’m going to use the story that I’m just loo
Nothing Wrong 94
94Lou was very happy when I walked in that night. She seemed so happy that she hadn’t had to cook or wash up. We ate our tea straight out of the newspaper wrapping. Then when we had got Adam to bed we went to bed as well. Together for the first time in a while.I wasn’t convinced Lou and Wayne were finished with each other yet. Today was another day of sitting and watching. This exercise was showing me how much my mind wandered. It took a lot of effort to not think about killing every other person that walked past. When I went into those little fantasies.How I wish I was a fly on the wall when he listened to that tape and heard nothing. His face must have been a picture. What if Lou had been sneaky enough to record me more than once. We have had a lot of conversations about murder.A bead of sweat ran down my temple. I have been an idiot. I have left too much to chance now. My plans need to be stepped up.Tomorrow I will dig a grave.
Nothing Wrong 95
95Sleep did not come easily last night and today I’m shattered. I tossed and turned unable to calm my mind. After I spoke with my man about disappearing he insisted on a meeting today. Why I don’t know. What I do know is I don’t have time for this and I have supplies to pick up.I have enough evidence to convince me that Lou is up to no good with Wayne. Her meetings with him had gone as I expected after I found the tape. Not that I knew it was him at first. I thought she was going directly to the police. She was playing me for a fool. Getting Wayne to do her dirty work. She probably hoped that I would let her stay in my house.Thinking of how Lou was betraying me set my teeth on edge. I didn’t know if she planned of doing the things I was thinking but I was working myself up and couldn’t stop. Driving and shopping while I was like this was not a good idea. It had to be done though. I’m sure this is all going to go to plan.
Nothing Wrong 96
96Why do shops insist on moving their stuff around? I get it is to make you see more of their stock but seriously. I dont need to. Why put the picks with rakes and gardening tools. I eventually made it out of the shop with my things but I was now running late.When I got to my car and set off I had twenty-five minutes to make a thirty-minute drive. Now I had to put my foot down and pray I didn’t see any cops.Every turn I made was painstakingly slow. A bus got in my way then a learner driver followed by a tractor. It was like the world wanted me to miss my appointment. I looked at the clock. Eleven thirty. I should be there now. At a rough guess I had about five minutes left to drive the rest the way. My drive was smooth and clear. Murderous thoughts filled my mind and body.I screeched to a holt outside the pub four minutes late. The beast I was going to meet walked out of the pub. I left the engine running and got out of my car. He
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105
105It had been two years since I had read about some mad fucker called Harry. He was all over the newspapers and tv. He had scared the shit out of a town in Yorkshire. Like everything else it died down. He was wanted in connection with at least four murders. I admired how he had just disappeared into thin air. He had made a lot of mistakes though and I didn’t plan on making the same ones.I like people watching. Sitting some here public and watching people go by. Picking out my next victim. I wasn’t going to act on my urges today. It want easy to sit back and watch but it was out of sequence. If I act too fast then people will start to get jumpy. One week just one more short week and then it will be time to act.My last victim had been a child molester. I watched him for a month. He hung around schools and parks. He confirmed my suspicions one day making a move on a kid when her mum wasn’t watching talking to another mum in a park. He di
104
104I wasn’t driving but being driven. Adam sat in the back strapped into a car seat. My driver was meathead, Mike. I had been told he was called Mike now. There was no pretense that this was his real name. He didn’t always respond to it when I called him it. We were on the motorway doing a perfect seventy miles per hour. There was also a car following us. That car also contained one of Nancy’s other sons. It wasn’t explained to me why we were being followed and I was nervous about it.Mike leaned over and turned on the radio.“I like some music while I drive.”A tape started playing heavy metal. Not something I would have chosen but I wasn’t going to complain. Adam started jumping about in his seat.“You like this little man?” said Mike in his usual gravely deep voice.“Yes. Louder.”Mike laughed and turned it up. He looked over to me with a grin. I don’t know if
103
103Nancy was kind to me and Adam. She kept us fed we’ll and clothed us. Adam had the grandma he had never had. His every need taken care of. To say she was in the business she was shocked me. I spoke to her in great length about what had been going on for the past eighteen months or so. At no point did she flinch or show any sings of this being abnormal.We had been staying here now for a week. It was starting to feel like home even though I knew it was just short term. She had explained to me that my house was now hers. The story was that she had caught it as an investment property. One of her three sons was living there for now. When I sold the house I had agreed to leave it furnished. Every part of this looked legal on paper. Her son told the police that he had just moved in on the day Wayne was alleging I stabbed him. He was now in a heap of trouble. The police were still looking for me though. I had shaved my head and was working on a beard. The stubble was
102
102My excitement so disappeared and changed to trepidation. When we were out of the park I was shown the back of a white windowless van and told to get in. I was paying for this treatment but did as I was asked. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’re they just going to kill us. That would be safer and more cost-effective for them.The back of the van was almost pitch black when the doors closed. The only light was what came in through the cracks in the seals. Adam started to fuss in my arms and the van started to move. Adam spoke to me in his limited way.“Daddy. Dark.”“Yes mate. It won’t be for long.”I kept my voice calm and soft. Hoping he would calm down himself. His creepy little baby hands pulled at my nose. Making sure I was there I hoped. He surprised me by saying.“Got nose.”I let out an involuntary laugh.“Haha give it back. H
101
101Cleaning up blood is a pain in the arse. If I could get away with not cleaning it up I would. Adam was his usual happy self but he broke my heart. He didn’t know better but he kept asking me the same question over and over.“Daddy. Where Mummy?”He smiled and had a cheeky grin on his face. I tried to explain that she wasn’t coming back but how many two-year-olds can understand that. It’s going to take time but he will learn.I understand how little I know about kids. He is now on solid food, not the mush that comes in jars. I’m happy about that it never looked appealing to me when Lou used to taste a bit then feed him.I have changed three nappies today so far and I’m now thinking about what age do kids get potty trained. There could be months left on this. Oh God I have already survived the first bits of teeth g but will there be more. Maybe I haven’t thought this through at all.All this
100
100It dawned on me that I hadn’t worked out how I was going to handle life with Adam on my own. The thought had never come to me that I would have to do e everything with him and for him.I hadn’t told the guys who were setting up our new lives Lou wasn’t going to be coming now. I wonder if I’m too late. It probably won’t matter that much. They will find out when they come for me tomorrow. Being alone means I don’t have a lot of loose ends to tie up. I should let work know I won’t be back in.Adam was still sleeping after our late night. Poor little fella. He won’t understand why mummy isn’t around anymore. He will be ok though he will adapt. His life with me will be good. I don’t think I will kill anyone for a while now. It is too much of a risk and I have too much at stake.There was a loud banging at my back door. Not a knock but an insistent banging. No one used my back door. So who could th
99
99When Lou was dead. It didn’t take long and I hope it was an easy passing I wrapped her in plastic. Then rolled her into her grave. Unlike most of my other victims, I didn’t take off hands or remove her teeth. At some point in the future, the police will get an anonymous tip on where to find her. She deserved a proper send-off.Being in the woods at night is an unpleasant experience. Every sound made by send-off or the wind blowing through the trees made me tense. Most people would think that a monster lay in wait or a serial killer was after them. Not me I envision blue lights and sirens.The first few shovels full of dirt landed on the plastic making a disturbing noise. Grit and pebbles rolling on the sheet. Another few and the sound was muffled. Then after it was dirt on dirt.Back in my car Adam was snoozing away. So blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had happened. That is not a conversation I’m in a rush to have. At least he i
98
98Reaching across a car with a rag to cover someone’s mouth and nose is hard. It’s made even harder when you feel like shit. My guts were still churning but Lou had cottoned on to my plan. It was inevitable. I just wish I could have trusted her. She could have had a good life and maybe I would have stopped killing.Lou tried to put up a fight but I was too quick and strong for her. Somehow Adam stayed asleep through the brief shuffle. Small victories have to be taken when you can.Now the effects of chloroform don’t last long just a few minutes. So instead of just driving off hopping to get to her grave before she came too again I cable tied her hands and legs together. There was no need for a gag. When she comes round I will have questions for her to answer.We drove in silence on the road for about half a mile then turned right onto a dirt track. The track was muddy and only just wide enough for my car. Branches and bushes scrapped at
97
97We had ordered our takeaway and was just finishing eating. I hadn’t told Lou that we were going to move the body tonight yet. If I’m being honest which is unusually for me these days. I not looking forward to telling her. It will come as a shock I think. At the end of the day who wants to dig up a body that has been rotting in the ground for over a year.The more I think about the body the more I think moving it is a bad idea. In fact it is a bad idea. Yes I could have left clues there but I’m going to disappear like smoke in the wind after tomorrow. I’m not going to move him. He can rest in peace for a little while longer.Then another thought hits me. What if Lou has told Wayne about it. If she has then he could have told the police and I could be walking into, a trap. Shit. Have the police been watching my movements? Have they seen me go back to the scene of a crime and I’m oblivious to it? My palms start to swea
