95
Sleep did not come easily last night and today I’m shattered. I tossed and turned unable to calm my mind. After I spoke with my man about disappearing he insisted on a meeting today. Why I don’t know. What I do know is I don’t have time for this and I have supplies to pick up.
I have enough evidence to convince me that Lou is up to no good with Wayne. Her meetings with him had gone as I expected after I found the tape. Not that I knew it was him at first. I thought she was going directly to the police. She was playing me for a fool. Getting Wayne to do her dirty work. She probably hoped that I would let her stay in my house.
Thinking of how Lou was betraying me set my teeth on edge. I didn’t know if she planned of doing the things I was thinking but I was working myself up and couldn’t stop. Driving and shopping while I was like this was not a good idea. It had to be done though. I’m sure this is all going to go to plan.
96Why do shops insist on moving their stuff around? I get it is to make you see more of their stock but seriously. I dont need to. Why put the picks with rakes and gardening tools. I eventually made it out of the shop with my things but I was now running late.When I got to my car and set off I had twenty-five minutes to make a thirty-minute drive. Now I had to put my foot down and pray I didn’t see any cops.Every turn I made was painstakingly slow. A bus got in my way then a learner driver followed by a tractor. It was like the world wanted me to miss my appointment. I looked at the clock. Eleven thirty. I should be there now. At a rough guess I had about five minutes left to drive the rest the way. My drive was smooth and clear. Murderous thoughts filled my mind and body.I screeched to a holt outside the pub four minutes late. The beast I was going to meet walked out of the pub. I left the engine running and got out of my car. He
97We had ordered our takeaway and was just finishing eating. I hadn’t told Lou that we were going to move the body tonight yet. If I’m being honest which is unusually for me these days. I not looking forward to telling her. It will come as a shock I think. At the end of the day who wants to dig up a body that has been rotting in the ground for over a year.The more I think about the body the more I think moving it is a bad idea. In fact it is a bad idea. Yes I could have left clues there but I’m going to disappear like smoke in the wind after tomorrow. I’m not going to move him. He can rest in peace for a little while longer.Then another thought hits me. What if Lou has told Wayne about it. If she has then he could have told the police and I could be walking into, a trap. Shit. Have the police been watching my movements? Have they seen me go back to the scene of a crime and I’m oblivious to it? My palms start to swea
98Reaching across a car with a rag to cover someone’s mouth and nose is hard. It’s made even harder when you feel like shit. My guts were still churning but Lou had cottoned on to my plan. It was inevitable. I just wish I could have trusted her. She could have had a good life and maybe I would have stopped killing.Lou tried to put up a fight but I was too quick and strong for her. Somehow Adam stayed asleep through the brief shuffle. Small victories have to be taken when you can.Now the effects of chloroform don’t last long just a few minutes. So instead of just driving off hopping to get to her grave before she came too again I cable tied her hands and legs together. There was no need for a gag. When she comes round I will have questions for her to answer.We drove in silence on the road for about half a mile then turned right onto a dirt track. The track was muddy and only just wide enough for my car. Branches and bushes scrapped at
99When Lou was dead. It didn’t take long and I hope it was an easy passing I wrapped her in plastic. Then rolled her into her grave. Unlike most of my other victims, I didn’t take off hands or remove her teeth. At some point in the future, the police will get an anonymous tip on where to find her. She deserved a proper send-off.Being in the woods at night is an unpleasant experience. Every sound made by send-off or the wind blowing through the trees made me tense. Most people would think that a monster lay in wait or a serial killer was after them. Not me I envision blue lights and sirens.The first few shovels full of dirt landed on the plastic making a disturbing noise. Grit and pebbles rolling on the sheet. Another few and the sound was muffled. Then after it was dirt on dirt.Back in my car Adam was snoozing away. So blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had happened. That is not a conversation I’m in a rush to have. At least he i
100It dawned on me that I hadn’t worked out how I was going to handle life with Adam on my own. The thought had never come to me that I would have to do e everything with him and for him.I hadn’t told the guys who were setting up our new lives Lou wasn’t going to be coming now. I wonder if I’m too late. It probably won’t matter that much. They will find out when they come for me tomorrow. Being alone means I don’t have a lot of loose ends to tie up. I should let work know I won’t be back in.Adam was still sleeping after our late night. Poor little fella. He won’t understand why mummy isn’t around anymore. He will be ok though he will adapt. His life with me will be good. I don’t think I will kill anyone for a while now. It is too much of a risk and I have too much at stake.There was a loud banging at my back door. Not a knock but an insistent banging. No one used my back door. So who could th
101Cleaning up blood is a pain in the arse. If I could get away with not cleaning it up I would. Adam was his usual happy self but he broke my heart. He didn’t know better but he kept asking me the same question over and over.“Daddy. Where Mummy?”He smiled and had a cheeky grin on his face. I tried to explain that she wasn’t coming back but how many two-year-olds can understand that. It’s going to take time but he will learn.I understand how little I know about kids. He is now on solid food, not the mush that comes in jars. I’m happy about that it never looked appealing to me when Lou used to taste a bit then feed him.I have changed three nappies today so far and I’m now thinking about what age do kids get potty trained. There could be months left on this. Oh God I have already survived the first bits of teeth g but will there be more. Maybe I haven’t thought this through at all.All this
102My excitement so disappeared and changed to trepidation. When we were out of the park I was shown the back of a white windowless van and told to get in. I was paying for this treatment but did as I was asked. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’re they just going to kill us. That would be safer and more cost-effective for them.The back of the van was almost pitch black when the doors closed. The only light was what came in through the cracks in the seals. Adam started to fuss in my arms and the van started to move. Adam spoke to me in his limited way.“Daddy. Dark.”“Yes mate. It won’t be for long.”I kept my voice calm and soft. Hoping he would calm down himself. His creepy little baby hands pulled at my nose. Making sure I was there I hoped. He surprised me by saying.“Got nose.”I let out an involuntary laugh.“Haha give it back. H
103Nancy was kind to me and Adam. She kept us fed we’ll and clothed us. Adam had the grandma he had never had. His every need taken care of. To say she was in the business she was shocked me. I spoke to her in great length about what had been going on for the past eighteen months or so. At no point did she flinch or show any sings of this being abnormal.We had been staying here now for a week. It was starting to feel like home even though I knew it was just short term. She had explained to me that my house was now hers. The story was that she had caught it as an investment property. One of her three sons was living there for now. When I sold the house I had agreed to leave it furnished. Every part of this looked legal on paper. Her son told the police that he had just moved in on the day Wayne was alleging I stabbed him. He was now in a heap of trouble. The police were still looking for me though. I had shaved my head and was working on a beard. The stubble was