Just Die...

Stella looked shocked to see him. She gripped the biceps of the muscular man and tried to pull him inside, but he didn’t even budge.

So many emotions flitted through her face, which he could see. At first she was surprised that he was then, then she was worried but not for him, then she kept glancing at the muscular man as though expecting him to react in a negative way.

Not once did Zen see an emotion of guilt flit through her features. It was as though he was non-existent, like his presence did not matter in that time and space.

Zen was numb. The first thought that came to his mind was her audacity to come to the door naked. It could have been anyone at that door, but she came there naked!

And worse, there was a man with her. A man that had been seeing her for god knows how long. A man, in his own home.

“Who is this?” the man growled, apparently fed up with the staring and standing contest.

“This is my husband,” Stella said, not too happy to announce him. “You know, the simp of an idiot I told you about?”

“Ahh,” the man said, nodding. “So this is him?”

“Yes.”

The man looked his nose down at Zen, as though he was nothing more than the rug used to decorate their door mat. That was when Zen’s numbness faded.

His anger came in, like tiny sparks that ignited and got worse as he looked at the both of them, standing naked at the door.

“How long has this been going on?” he gritted.

“Stella, how long have you been cheating on me?”

She shrugged, nonchalant. “I don’t know, we’ve been together for a while.”

The man sneered. “It’s not like you can handle her hotness, you know. You’ve been a silly man who doesn’t know how to take care of a beautiful lady like her.”

“Oh don’t flatter me,” Stella chuckled, slapping his arms playfully. “But you do know how to handle me, Ricky. That's what I like about you.”

So this was it, Zen thought as his anger sizzled and sizzled. This was the reason why she had been locking doors lately, waiting for him to arrive so she could sneak him out from probably the back door or the window.

Why was this time different? Why did I have to see this?

Was the man suddenly tired of being the hidden one and opened the door just because he knew it would be Zen?

“Get out!” Zen suddenly screamed. “Get out of here, leave my wife alone!”

They both stared at him. Even though his anger had been a slow burn, Zen could feel it wrenching at every part of his heart.

He felt torn, broken, shattered. This was the highest betrayal that he had ever felt in his miserable life.

“He can’t leave,” Stella said firmly. “It is you who should leave instead.”

Zen’s anger came to a halt and mixed with surprise. “What?”

“It is you who should leave, Zen,” Stella said firmly. “I think I have had just about enough from you.”

“We are married!”

“I told you I wanted a divorce!” she scoffed, eyeing him up and down. “Did you think that because I didn’t mention it, then I wasn’t serious with it? Really, Zen.”

“Stella, you can’t do this!” he said as his voice cracked. “This isn’t you! You can’t bring a man into our home!”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Last I checked, Zen, I’m the one who’s leasing the apartment. You have nothing to your name, nothing! You can’t even keep a job!”

“I will get one! Just don’t do this, don’t sell yourself like this, please!”

She laughed mockingly at him. “You’ll get a job? Zen, you can’t even keep a fucking delivery job. And I’m not selling myself out, okay? I wanted this.”

Zen moved back. He was shaken. He felt everything at once, but his sharp anger had melted to sorrow. This was her plan all along, to stretch him to the point of desolation and humiliate him in front of her lover.

“What are you still doing here?” her lover sneered. “Do you need us to push you away before you get the memo?”

Stella started to laugh, a high pitched sound that felt distant to him. He watched as her lover wrapped his arms around her, squeezing one ripple just to tease her.

Stella squirmed in his arms, arching her body against his as he placed his foot at the back of the door.

“Goodbye, loser,” Ricky said.

Then he kicked the door shut.

Even after the door clicked shut, he could still hear their mocking laughter and her squeals, the way she murmured his name loudly when he touched a spot that pleased her.

Zen turned away from his home, feeling empty. She’d finally succumbed to the taunting of her family. Somehow he suspected that this day would come, but not like this.

He never expected that she would leave him like this; he never even expected that she would leave him at all.

The sadness he felt was innate, deep within him. It was the end of the world, or at least his world. There was absolutely nothing waiting for him, there was nothing for him in this world.

All that he seemed to embolden was lost in this world and lost in the things that he knew.

Zen had lost a part of himself.

He found himself at the edge of a bridge, looking down to the deep waters. It was so blue, so deep. It was calling out to him, offering comfort.

There was nothing left for him here.

When Zen climbed on the bridge’s handle, he could vaguely hear some screams of people behind him, asking him to stop and calling for help.

He ignored them. It was too late. They would not understand. This world was meant for them and not him.

Zen jumped. The wind rushed at his face, and the force of the water bruised his ribs and swallowed him whole. Despite the biting pain, he felt at ease. Finally, at long last, comfort.

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