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2024-10-29 19:42:56"Absolutely not!"
"But mother–"
"How many times have I told you that you are not to talk to your brother!? Again and again, every day I tell you…
…these people are different from us. We don't belong here."
"..."
For the first time in 16 years, Vayne's dim and desolate room was filled with more than just the mountain of books that filled it with color.
But to think it would be his mother's screams that would fill the void, Vayne could really only sigh at the thought.
Charlotte's auburn hair almost bounced as she waved her hands repeatedly, telling Vayne that going with Vale was a bad idea.
As for Vayne, he just hid in the shadows of his books, letting his mother calm her breaths, before he once again permeated himself to speak,
"This might be the chance you have always wanted, mother," Vayne said; his voice, clear and tranquil, "You have always told me how good it would be if I was able to prove myself. How our lives would be better."
"Do… not put words in my mouth, child," Charlotte's eyebrows began to furrow, "I didn't… I didn't tell you that."
"You did," Vayne once again sighed as he closed his eyes, "Repeatedly. In your sleep, you dream of a better life…
…of a better son."
And finally, Vayne stepped out of the shadow, revealing his hair that was even a brighter shade of red than his mother's. His eyes, as green as the fields of grass outside his window that he had never once stood on.
His resemblance to his mother stopped there, however, as his arms were as thin than even hers. One of his feet, twisted and not reaching the floor beneath it; his steps, supported by crutches that were pinned in both his arms.
"I hear your dreams of a better life louder than the crow's nesting in the skeletons of the ceiling, mother," he then whispered as a smile crawled on his face.
"That… that's not true," Charlotte quickly said as she took a step toward her son, "That's not true at all, Vayne."
Charlotte repeatedly shook her head; her eyes, turning moist with each turn,
"I… I love you, son. I'm just… mother's just tired, okay? I—"
"That's the thing, mother," Vayne opened his eyes as he let out a loud breath,
"You don't," he then said as he looked his mother straight in the eyes,
"And maybe, just maybe— if the gods are on my side for once, I would also prove myself in the Coming of Age ceremony and receive a Blessing… and maybe, just maybe…
…You will finally learn to love me, mother."
"I do love you! It's just that—"
"And that's alright, mother," Vayne shook his head, "I understand, I wouldn't love me either. But I am grateful to you… for even if your fate and prestige were destroyed by your own child, never once did make me feel unwanted— hated…
…and that is more important than any of the forced love you may give."
"..." Charlotte could really only stare at her son's clear eyes, before letting out a small whisper and shaking her head,
"That's… that's not true," she said, not even believing she believed it herself anymore,
"I… I shouldn't have let you read all these books. They've clouded your mind."
"They taught me words, mother," Vayne could really only chuckle.
"Books are different from reality, Vayne," Charlotte's voice then once again started to rise, "I am still not allowing you to go with Vale. The very reason you didn't have your Coming of Age ceremony in the first place is that you wouldn't survive the journey! The Dark Continent is not a place for… for someone like you, it's not worth it."
"...I'll be with my younger brother. He's strong, mother."
"The point of the journey is to prove yourself! Not to cling to another!"
"Clinging is all I know," Vayne once again let out a small chuckle as he slightly nudged his crutches.
"You don't even know him!"
"Because you never tell me stories about him and any of my family, mother. Any stories I hear, I hear from the cracks of my window."
"...You and him are completely different people, Vayne."
"..."
"..."
"I will be departing with him on the morrow," Vayne still insisted as he shook his head, "It is planned and set, all that is left is for me to participate."
"You… why are you so stubborn?"
"Tell me, mother. What life awaits me here if I stay?" Vayne then said as he slightly lifted himself forward, closer to his mother,
"I am nothing but a burden to you."
"Why do you presume to know what I feel!?" Charlotte finally could no longer help herself as she raised her voice further… a snap, whispering in the air as she slapped her son.
Very quickly, however, Charlotte's lips began to tremble as she looked at the prints of her palm slowly painting on Vayne's cheek.
"N…No, I… I didn't mean to do that, I—"
"It's okay, mother," Vayne, however, only smiled as he gently held his mother's trembling hand,
"I know you didn't mean to hurt me… it's just like when I was born."
"...Vayne? What did you—"
"I overheard it from the cracks of my windows. One of the maids tells a story of a mother that strangled her babe…
…you and me."
"..." Charlotte couldn't really say anything anymore as she just looked at her son's eyes.
"And I am sorry that you had to do that."
"...Vayne?"
"I am also sorry that you were not able to go through with it. And I apologize if you feel that you have to atone for that your entire life…
…but you don't, mother. I am truly grateful to you for allowing me to live."
Vayne then turned his eyes towards the mountain of books drowning his room, "You let me live a hundred lives."
"..." Charlotte could really only follow her son's eyes.
"Thank you, mother," Vayne then leaned closer to Charlotte, limping towards her.
And as he stood in front of her; 16 years old, yet his eyes did not even reach her shoulders.
But it was enough, enough for him to rest his head on her mother's bosom.
"Thank you for taking care of me all these years."
"Vayne…" Charlotte's voice trembled throughout the tiny room, "Let me explain, I—"
"I'm tired, mother. I need to reserve strength for tomorrow's journey."
"Vayne… please, don't go."
"I'll be fine," Vayne leaned away as he once again looked his mother in the eyes; his smile, not even showing any signs of malice,
"We probably will not be able to see each other tomorrow. Our journey starts before the sun basks the grass outside."
"..."
"So, I shall bid you my goodbyes at this moment, mother. And hopefully, next we meet…
…I am finally someone deserving of… of your love."
"..." Charlotte could not really say anything as Vayne's also began to tremble; closing her eyes as she wiped the tears that were now trailing on his son's face.
"You… You always deserved to be loved," Charlotte whispered, still not even able to look at his son's face.
And after a few seconds, she took in a deep but stuttering breath and turned around…
…not even looking back as she left the room.
Vayne really only stared at the closing door, before the tears on his face were replaced by a smile,
"Maybe in another life, mother."
He then whispered to himself as he once again slowly disappeared into his books, fully knowing it would be the last he would be able to do so.
Vayne Valentine, at the age of 16…
…was not planning to come back home.
***"Brother, is that you? You're… quite early."
"I haven't slept, brother."
"...Why are you not wearing your shoes?"
"I'm… just trying to feel the grass."
Outside, in the yard that Vayne could really only look through his windows, he finally found himself, breathing the dew that would soon fade away— looking at the moon that would soon also disappear.
It was also the very first time he was seeing the manor from the eyes of an outsider. Sadly, it was too dark to see anything.
His eyes then turned towards his brother, before slightly lowering himself and bowing to him.
"Oi! Don't do that!" Vale quickly raised his voice as he lifted Vayne up; the look on his face, completely dumbfounded,
"...Why would you do that? You're my older brother."
"I'm just a ghost looking through a window, Vale," Vayne chuckled, before turning his eyes toward the people following behind his brother, "...They are?"
"Don't mind them. They're Explorers, we need them to pass through the Gates. They'll also be bringing our things, so… is that all you're bringing?" Vale said as he looked at the small bag sitting beside Vayne's twisted foot.
"Wait, they're Explorers?" Vayne's eyes started to glisten as he looked at the two men again, his breaths, slightly turning heavy.
"...It's not a big deal, they're just low ranks. Father is still a lot better than them."
"...I've never met our father," Vayne breathed out as he shook his head,
"Will it… only be us? I was expecting your friends."
"...It's our ceremony, Vayne," Vale waved his hand and chuckled,
"...That means it will just be the two of us."
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