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2024-08-18 00:15:05Christian followed her with his eyes, his throat tightened, thinking of the woman he has been in love with all this time. He understood that he had to wait for her to come around, to slowly open up to him and this means giving her time. But the moments when we are cornered seemed to stretch until it felt like an eternity.
Suddenly,Phoebe shifted around to look at him squarely in the face, her determination reflected on her face. “Christian, I just want to be by myself for some time, there is a lot happening around me and I feel I need to figure some things out.I don’t want to hurt you but I need this right now, please. ”Christian nodded, swallowing hard. He looked at her and said softly, “Of course Phoebe, I will be here awaiting your feedback, but trust me I really and truly love you from the bottom of my heart.you take as much time as you wish. ”With that Phoebe left the room and her thoughts as jumbled as a bowl of
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SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD THE TRIP PREPARATION
‘Do not under any circumstances believe that liar, do you think that any word that marlin speaks is the truth,” she nearly snapped at her. “It is always good to know that Marlin has never liked you and he is only out to get on your nerves, Phoebe. Do not let him get to you, as he is not worth it.Sarah could not see Phoebe nodding but she continued speaking as though trilling to the affirmative of what Phoebe had said. “Oh, I know I should not react that way and should not let him affect me this way but things are just not right at all right now.”Sarah paused for a second to think about what to say next. She responded after a while and her voice was somehow less harsh, more soothing“Phoebe, I think you seriously should take a break, you have been through so much; you sound like you simply need some time off I propose that you and I take a two-day trip and leave Kingston and all the chaos behind. What do you think?”Phoebe decided to take a cup o
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD THE TRIP
It was time for the other details to be attended to at least they were from her perspective. She picked up her toiletries bag and went about putting in the bare necessities that include; a toothbrush, toothpaste, a small bottle of shampoo, and a few skin products. She put on the special perfume, a flower fragrance that she loved so much and this gave her a cheerful spirit. While packing she remembered how different she became over the recent months, how much she matured, and how it happened. This was not merely an escape, it was a getaway to rediscover herself, to uncover that fighter within her that she knew still existed though the years of insecurity and fear had tried to smother her.Phoebe spose to move to her nightstand and picked her phone scrolling through her music Playlist. She created a new one full of songs making her feel like a winner, songs that would bring back memories of better times and of hope. Music remained for her to be the best wa
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD THE TRIP II
The drive was smooth, people were talking and joking with one another. This can range from a conversation about the favourite movies of the characters to the places that interested them for the trip. Finally Phoebe started laughing more than she have laughed in weeks and as the car moved on the burden on her felt lighter and lighter.“By the way, are there any specific areas you would like to go to while in the area?” Sarah inquired as they took the interstate.‘I am not certain yet,’ Phoebe said. “All I wish to do is wander around and see how these days turn out.”Sarah grinned. That sounds like a plan, I guess that going with no much planned schedule is always a good idea, we’ll wing it.Phoebe nodded her head slowly and felt quite relieved on this thought. She did not have to strategise or dictate every little detail. This trip was about surrender, about the absence of the need to plan and to control things and to take it easy and to be.
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD TRUTH OR DARE
The game was harmless as the two friends asked questions in the first few rounds and the tasks were simple and amusing. What is your worst shame? What is something you have done that you regret or consider as ridiculous? and tests such as the egg challenge where couples have to either verbally spar or make silly faces at each other, and simple dares for example, dance like a chicken or sing a random song. However, the truths were moving toward becoming more serious as the game extended, which means that the dares also became more invasive.Phoebe drew a heart, and Sarah looked at the paper, and smirked. ‘The truth!’ Swallowing lightly, So Phoebe, if you could alter something in your past what would that be?’This was well personal to Phoebe so she paused, the question hitting her deep inside probably more than what she had anticipated. She looked at the fire then back at Sarah and calmly pondered over her reply. That was a loaded question and for a long time she re
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD THE ART
Sarah stared at her as if she understood what exactly she was feeling. “Sometimes people just want someone to guide them to let go a little and be friendly; I’m glad you persuaded me to go on this trip”Phoebe stood up and followed sarah back to the bed and sat down next to her. “I think so too. I have bottled up so many things for so long that actually it made me heavy.”Phoebe looked up at her and then saw that Sarah had got up and was standing beside her tentatively reaching out to place her hand on Phoebe’s arm, she then squeezed Phoebe’s hand. “Why do you always load it all on to yourself, you have friends, relatives who will support you and help.”Phoebe examined the woman’s slender hand resting in her own, and a lump rose in Phoebe’s throat. “I know,” she whispered. “And now I’m realizing that It is alright for people to be there for you, to be needed, to help.”Sarah looked at her pleasantly and her eyes said it all, yes she understood wha
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD LAKE PICNIC
Sarah took Phoebe's hands and gave it a gentle grip. “And I always will be”, you never have to face anything alone Phoebe, we are in this together.Phoebe squeezed her hand back, for the emotion that touched her threatened to well up in the form of tears at the back of her throat. “Thank you, Sarah I would probably never be able to express just how much you mean to me.”Sarah replied with a warm look on her face. “You don’t need to. I understand”They sighed and sat there for a few moments in a silence which was significant of the deep conversation they have just had. Then, Sarah continued, ‘Hey.“Tell me, what would you like to do tomorrow?” She cheerfully changed the topic so as to not invite sad memories.Phoebe smiled as she was happy Sarah had changed the atmosphere of her thoughts.“I was thinking we could go driving out to the lake that we saw depicted in that painting you bought me, it looked so serene and I’m sure we could find gr
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD EXCITING RETURN
They continued to take their time, she left her striking her legs on the water until they agreed to go for a swim. The water was nice and they were so immersed in water, they carried out childish frolics like they didn’t have a single worry in the world. For the span of several hours, it felt like all their problems disappeared and all that was left was happiness and the company of the other people present.They had to wait for the sun to set, turn the red gold, and when they gathered up their belongings, returned to the car. However, instead of proceeding back to the house, Sarah proposed that they go to another town which she was told by a friend.“It’s meant to be this adorable provincial town with this fabulous restaurant,” Sarah said as she got into the driver’s seat. “I think that we should grab a meal on the way before proceeding back.”Phoebe nodded in agreement having had an interest in seeing more of the area. The drive to the town was minutes an
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD THE LAST DAY
The facade of daylight slipped through the curtains just the way a shy child entered Phoebe's room. She was lying in bed, watching how the sunlight drew the patterns on the walls. Repeated in her mind were the events of the past few days: the entire incidents of Mary’s dream, every sobering and uplifting moment she spent with Sarah. The lake, the picnic, the terribly mundane, happy nothingness of just being in each other’s company was all so removed from the chaos she had fled.A sigh escaped Phoebe lips as she turned upside down and saw Sarah was still asleep on the other side of the room. Immediately, She had not quite comprehended how much it was going to benefit her to have a break, companionship, and a friend who was more like a sister. Their rapport had strengthened over the couple of days, and the feeling of knowing each other for long years crept in.Not being able to put up with his coldness any longer, Phoebe got up carefully, not to wake Sarah up, and we
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- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
"What Regret"
“Regret,” she said with a sneer. Regret is just a euphemism for guilt. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t wipe the slate clean, and it definitely does not heal the mess that you made.‘Christian,’ she said softly, ‘don’t come any closer.’ He stopped, as she decided to step back from him.Phoebe flared up again and asked him: “You said you came for the truth?” “Fine. Here’s the truth, Christian. I loved you. With everything I had. And you destroyed me. You were able to make me question myself in ways that I never knew existed. And now you stand here, asking me for what? Closure? Redemption? Forgiveness?”“No,” he said firmly. All I am demanding is an opportunity to prove that I can improve.” That I am better.”She scoffed. “And you believe that one conversation is going to make a difference?” You think I can just what? Stare at you and forget the years I struggled to climb up the ladder and get a life again?“No,” he repeated again, and there was no quiver in his voice. “But I can’t
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Need You
Christian did not answer this for a while. He looked down, his hands were tightly bunched into fists at his sides. “I know it caused pain,” he said, his voice rising in a hoarse whisper. “I know I can’t undo that. But I can’t just let things be this way. Not anymore. If that means living with your hatred then let it be so.Phoebe only chuckled bitterly and began to pace in front of the fire. ‘Christian, you keep saying all the right things.’ Saying sorry, admitting my mistake, promising to take my anger on myself. But you don’t seem to understand. It’s not about you. Not anymore.”He stared at her with a frown on his face. “Then what is it about?”“It’s about me,” she said angrily, turning to him. ‘That’s about the years I’ve spent struggling to climb out of the pit you dug for me to fall into.’ It is about finding out how to be independent, how to live without the feeling that my chest is going to collapse. It’s about healing, or at least, about trying to put myself back together aft
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Believe inYou
Phoebe shook her head, her arms wrapped around herself. “You don’t get it, Christian. Other people also had the same feeling as you; they were scared. I was terrified too. Of losing you, of not being good enough. But I stayed. I fought. And you didn’t.”“I know,” he said and his eyes welled up with tears. “And I hate myself for that. I wish I could have been stronger and did not leave when I did. But I’m here now, Phoebe. And I’m not running this time.”She glared at him and her eyes were red with rage, hurt and something else which she could not describe. “You say that now,” she whispered. But what happens when things get hard again? This begs the question, what happens when the cracks start to show?“They won’t,” he said firmly. “Because I’ve come to realize that running in particular does not solve anything. It just leaves a trail of broken pieces behind.”Phoebe only shook her head and a tear rolled down her face. She gently removed it as if she was embarrassed to show her weaknes
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“I’m confused”
It’s convenient. You were waiting until you felt I was ready and powerful enough to take the news. Until you thought I didn’t need you anymore.”“That is not true,” Christian said quickly, getting up, his voice a high pitched note. “I have been taking this guilt with me every day since I left.” I did not return because of convenience. I returned because I could not continue living such a life knowing that I destroyed something that was wonderful.Phoebe whirled on her toes, glaring. “And what about me? Have you ever thought what it feels like to wake up every day with the marks you have made on others? To have to break yourself down and begin to build yourself up again from scratch just to have the one who was responsible for tearing you down appear with an apology?”“I do now,” he said quietly. “Because I do, I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your voice. And I hate myself for being the reason it’s there.”She was breathing raggedly, her hands were balled up at her sides. “You don’t
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Either you believe or not
Christian sighed deeply and rested his hands on the table. “I am a man who wants to know how to accept what I have done. To challenge it, rather than avoiding it. To be able to admit that I can change the future but I can’t change the present and I can’t change the past.”Phoebe scoffed. ‘You really believe that taking responsibility is sufficient?’ You really believe that saying you were wrong in any of this makes it alright?”“No,” Christian said quickly. “It doesn’t make it okay. Nothing can make it okay. But it’s a start, isn’t it? A step toward being better. Towards becoming a person who does not destroy things.”Phoebe looked at her sister with her face impassive and then shook her head. “You want to be better? Good for you. But you don’t get to use me as your redemption arc. I am not some check-point on your way to self-improvement.”“I’m not asking you to be,” Christian said, his voice quiet, but commanding. I don’t need your forgiveness or your approval for anything I am doin
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Lingering pain
“Phoebe,” he started cautiously, “I’m not here to put more load on you regarding this.” I know you didn’t want any of this and I’m not going to say that I’m so great for coming here now. But I’ve been attempting to take responsibility for my actions. And part of that means realizing how much I caused you pain.”Phoebe’s lips formed, her arms drawn tightly around her in the manner of a shield. “It does not heal the wound, Christian.” Oh do you think that knowing you regret it will give me back the time I lost? The trust I lost? The parts of me that had to be reconstructed?”“No,” replied Christian, who now looked ashamed. “I don’t. And I’m not asking you to forget what I did or even forgive me. I just had to tell you that… I can see it now. I can now understand how self-centered I was and how unable to notice your suffering.She tilted her head to the side, her mouth tightening as she looked out the window and saw the rain running down the glass. “Blind, huh?” she said with much bitter
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
All about Phoebe
Phoebe went back to the fire, her hands folding over her chest. For what seemed like a long time she did not respond. The fire crackled in the background, and its heat was the only thing that made the atmosphere between them warm.“What do you want from me, Christian?” she asked after a long time her voice was so low that it was barely audible.“Nothing,” he said quickly. “I don’t want anything from you. I just… I had to share it with you because it is the truth. To say sorry and let you understand that I noticed your suffering. That I see you.”Phoebe only managed to stifle a sarcastic laugh. “You see me now? That’s rich. Where was this clarity two years ago?”Christian moved a little closer and spoke slowly and calmly as if he was pleading with her. I was blind back then Phoebe.” As if the rest of the world does not exist, or, at least, I don’t exist to the rest of the world. But now… now I see everything I should have seen before. I understand how powerful you are, how much you inv
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Get rewarded
“Sorry isn’t enough,” said Phoebe, tears rolling down her cheeks. “They think they can just come out and apologize and that’s the end of it.”“I’m not expecting that,” Christian said quickly. I know that I can never reverse the wrong I have done. But I had to tell you. I had to stop bringing this with me without doing something about it.”Phoebe exhaled hard and then rested her weight against the windowsill. “Well, did you even know what you left behind?” “How much I had to tidy up after you?”“I’ve thought about it,” Christian said, softly. “But I know that thinking about it isn’t the same as living it. I still can’t fathom how difficult it must have been for you.”Phoebe looked at her and shook her head, fuming again. “And you didn’t just hurt me, Christian.” You made me doubt, everything, including us, including myself. I used so much time thinking why am I not enough. Why I couldn’t repair whatever was ailing you.”Christian cringed as if the words that came out of her mouth had h
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Another Game
One part of him wanted to kick Christian out, shut the door and never see him again. But there was another part, a lesser, more contemplative part of him that was interesting. What if Christian really had transformed? What if this wasn’t just another one of his games?“Alright,” Phoebe said in the end, the word coming out sounding more like a bitter grumble. “You want to talk? Talk. ‘I’m not making any guarantees here,’ I tell him.Christian nodded and his shoulders dropped down as well. He looked around the room, and then looked at the couch. “Do you mind if we sit?”Phoebe frowned, then reluctantly gestured at the couch with a nod. He stayed on his feet, leaning with his arms folded against the wall, a defensive air about him.Christian leaned back on the couch, placing his elbows on his knees and his hands on top of each other. He looked at the floor for a moment with a blank face, then he said something.“I know I hurt you. And not just once—repeatedly. You wanted to help me and I
