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SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Unexpected Text
She sat and looked at the message, her heart racing. Seth had not called her after that conversation, he had not tried to see her or talk to her as she had asked him to. But now, he was reaching out, and something about the pureness of his message made a combination of curiosity and fear rise in her. She did not think for long and then she decided to go.And it was getting late when the sun was setting and painting the park in the warm golden light and Phoebe walked up to the bench by the lake. She saw Seth standing close to her, he was still a silhouette against the dimming light. He looked round as she came up, his face gentle and thoughtful.“Thank you for coming,” he said, his voice was polite as if he was the one begging the guests to come over.Phoebe simply looked at him, her eyes still wary but she finally agreed. “What is it, Seth? Why now?”Seth sighed deeply and raked his fingers through his hair. I understand that you wanted to be alone, Phoebe. I wanted to respect that. B
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Always My Backup
Phoebe breathed out and looked away, out the window where the sunlight was streaming in and warming the table they were sitting at. “Seth... He’s complicated. It’s not something that can simply be wiped out clean, there is a history there that cannot be done away with. But there is another part of me that sometimes thinks that the only way to be able to move forward is to let go.Sarah inhaled and chose her words very wisely. Phoebe, people don’t get manuals when they are born, and no one ever told me that I should be happy. Sometimes, we are compelled to make decisions that are not black and white. But I can notice that you are also struggling to carve out your own niche for yourself and that is what really counts.Phoebe beamed a gracious look at her friend. “You’re right. This is the first time I feel like I am really finding out who I am, what I want not what others want me to want.They settled down and remained motionless, taking the liquor, each woman engrossed in her own medi
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Surprise visit
One evening while coming back late from work, Phoebe was surprised to find Christian sitting outside her apartment. He was standing with his back to his car, his hands in his pockets, gazing at the heavens absentmindedly. The view filled her with warmth in the region of her chest that she had not even known existed.“Hi, how come you are here?” she asked friendly as she stepped nearer to him.He grinned and stood up. It doesn’t really matter why I’m here, I just felt like you could use some company after a hard day at work. Hope you don’t mind."“Not at all,” she said, then opened her door. "Come on in."They entered the apartment, and as she put her belongings, he glanced around the room and saw the little details she put to the place such as warm lighting, the art on the walls, and the throw on the couch. It was very ‘her,’ that is, the kind of person she was and that he found so interesting.Phoebe prepared tea for them and they got on the couch to wait, the low sound of the city’s
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Love me Back
Christian could tell when she was upset, and they were partaking of a delightful dinner at a romantic Italian restaurant with the scent of burning candles light and fresh baked bread lingering in the air. Christian gave her a worried look, ‘Are you okay?’“Hi,” he whispered softly and took her hand into his own, as he sat down beside her. “You seem… distant. Is something bothering you?”Phoebe frowned slightly and chose her words carefully as she replied, Though I don’t know how to say this she hesitated. She paused for a moment before answering and whispered. “I’m sorry, Christian. It’s just… I think I am still in a state of shock. In your company every moment was so great, but at the same time… at the same time I began to think if I really want to get over it.Christian smiled and his eyes looked less harsh, though there was a brief moment of suffering. “Phoebe, I understand. I think you need to know this, and it is about us. I just do not want to be a r
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Not in a Rush
Seth looked at her for a few seconds, then he sighed softly. ‘I am not asking you to run away from him.’ I’m just asking you to remember who we were.” He looked at her and for the space of a heartbeat, she was back in the old days. But Christian’s face was brought to her recollection and she was brought back to reality.Several weeks later, Christian took Phoebe to his most favorite secluded area near the lake. They sat together in quiet, listening to the water flow beneath the stars.“Phoebe,” Christian started and his voice was so full of emotion that she turned to look at him, “I can’t lie anymore and tell you that I am fine with him being around.” I know you have my best interest at heart, but… It’s the same need as to know whether you are the one who wants me.”Phoebe could feel the gravity of his words as they hit her chest and she could feel the palpitations. She glanced at him with her tears swelling in her eyes. ‘Christian, forgive me for making y
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Return of the devil
Phoebe felt her heart pumping with blood as she waited for Seth’s reaction to her words. She knew that this was not just any casual utterance that flowed off his lips, but a deliberate reminder of the friendship that had characterized their relationship in the past. She drew a deep breath to calm herself down.“Seth,” she answered meekly, ”we cannot keep going back there.” Instead, she said: “My heart now is with Christian.”But Seth’s look did not soften, he kept staring at her, his eyes burning. “I know, Phoebe. But that doesn’t change what we had or the fact that… part of me never stopped loving you.”It suddenly struck Phoebe as she could understand the temptation to be drawn into the din of their past and how this could blow up everything she was setting up with Christian. She stepped aside, creating some space between them and whispered, “Then it’s time to move on.” For both of us.”She then walked off the balcony and returned to the heat of
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Constant competition
Phoebe nodded, she was overwhelmed with guilt and frustration deep down inside her. She believed that she had shed off these aspects of her past, but they seem to follow her as if they wanted to ensure that she does not let go off the past completely. And as she thought of the things Marlin said, she knew that she must make them understand her and tell them all, once and for all, that she wants Christian and everything that they began between them.Unyielding, Phoebe made up her mind to face Marlin the following day. She met him at a local café, where he had wanted to discuss with her. But this time there was no friendly welcome as before.“Marlin,” she began, her voice harsh, “I understand what you are up to.” But I have a life with Christian now and I will not allow anyone ruin it for me.”He frowned, but the self-assurance did not leave his face. I know that you still love me, Phoebe. I know you haven’t erased what we once had.”She shook her h
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD One of those People
She did not even pause, and when he offered her his hand, their fingers touched, and they immediately locked their fingers. It was the most charged and yet the most serene time that I felt could be lived and nothing more. They felt as if they were surrounded by a veil, which separated them from the rest of the world, and left them alone with each other.They went on hand in hand, and two of them perfectly coupled as their feet marched them further into the dark. The sea murmured, the day brightened up and only then Phoebe had the feeling that she is really somewhere without any pretense.And the more they strolled along the shore the less words were necessary, the more the silence between them was sacred. They didn’t need words. It was a relief to move their hands and lips, to speak the halting words of a start, the weight of everything they had shared their pasts, their doubts, their hopes lightened in their long, comfortable strides.Finally, they came a
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- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
"What Regret"
“Regret,” she said with a sneer. Regret is just a euphemism for guilt. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t wipe the slate clean, and it definitely does not heal the mess that you made.‘Christian,’ she said softly, ‘don’t come any closer.’ He stopped, as she decided to step back from him.Phoebe flared up again and asked him: “You said you came for the truth?” “Fine. Here’s the truth, Christian. I loved you. With everything I had. And you destroyed me. You were able to make me question myself in ways that I never knew existed. And now you stand here, asking me for what? Closure? Redemption? Forgiveness?”“No,” he said firmly. All I am demanding is an opportunity to prove that I can improve.” That I am better.”She scoffed. “And you believe that one conversation is going to make a difference?” You think I can just what? Stare at you and forget the years I struggled to climb up the ladder and get a life again?“No,” he repeated again, and there was no quiver in his voice. “But I can’t
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Need You
Christian did not answer this for a while. He looked down, his hands were tightly bunched into fists at his sides. “I know it caused pain,” he said, his voice rising in a hoarse whisper. “I know I can’t undo that. But I can’t just let things be this way. Not anymore. If that means living with your hatred then let it be so.Phoebe only chuckled bitterly and began to pace in front of the fire. ‘Christian, you keep saying all the right things.’ Saying sorry, admitting my mistake, promising to take my anger on myself. But you don’t seem to understand. It’s not about you. Not anymore.”He stared at her with a frown on his face. “Then what is it about?”“It’s about me,” she said angrily, turning to him. ‘That’s about the years I’ve spent struggling to climb out of the pit you dug for me to fall into.’ It is about finding out how to be independent, how to live without the feeling that my chest is going to collapse. It’s about healing, or at least, about trying to put myself back together aft
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Believe inYou
Phoebe shook her head, her arms wrapped around herself. “You don’t get it, Christian. Other people also had the same feeling as you; they were scared. I was terrified too. Of losing you, of not being good enough. But I stayed. I fought. And you didn’t.”“I know,” he said and his eyes welled up with tears. “And I hate myself for that. I wish I could have been stronger and did not leave when I did. But I’m here now, Phoebe. And I’m not running this time.”She glared at him and her eyes were red with rage, hurt and something else which she could not describe. “You say that now,” she whispered. But what happens when things get hard again? This begs the question, what happens when the cracks start to show?“They won’t,” he said firmly. “Because I’ve come to realize that running in particular does not solve anything. It just leaves a trail of broken pieces behind.”Phoebe only shook her head and a tear rolled down her face. She gently removed it as if she was embarrassed to show her weaknes
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
“I’m confused”
It’s convenient. You were waiting until you felt I was ready and powerful enough to take the news. Until you thought I didn’t need you anymore.”“That is not true,” Christian said quickly, getting up, his voice a high pitched note. “I have been taking this guilt with me every day since I left.” I did not return because of convenience. I returned because I could not continue living such a life knowing that I destroyed something that was wonderful.Phoebe whirled on her toes, glaring. “And what about me? Have you ever thought what it feels like to wake up every day with the marks you have made on others? To have to break yourself down and begin to build yourself up again from scratch just to have the one who was responsible for tearing you down appear with an apology?”“I do now,” he said quietly. “Because I do, I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your voice. And I hate myself for being the reason it’s there.”She was breathing raggedly, her hands were balled up at her sides. “You don’t
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Either you believe or not
Christian sighed deeply and rested his hands on the table. “I am a man who wants to know how to accept what I have done. To challenge it, rather than avoiding it. To be able to admit that I can change the future but I can’t change the present and I can’t change the past.”Phoebe scoffed. ‘You really believe that taking responsibility is sufficient?’ You really believe that saying you were wrong in any of this makes it alright?”“No,” Christian said quickly. “It doesn’t make it okay. Nothing can make it okay. But it’s a start, isn’t it? A step toward being better. Towards becoming a person who does not destroy things.”Phoebe looked at her sister with her face impassive and then shook her head. “You want to be better? Good for you. But you don’t get to use me as your redemption arc. I am not some check-point on your way to self-improvement.”“I’m not asking you to be,” Christian said, his voice quiet, but commanding. I don’t need your forgiveness or your approval for anything I am doin
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Lingering pain
“Phoebe,” he started cautiously, “I’m not here to put more load on you regarding this.” I know you didn’t want any of this and I’m not going to say that I’m so great for coming here now. But I’ve been attempting to take responsibility for my actions. And part of that means realizing how much I caused you pain.”Phoebe’s lips formed, her arms drawn tightly around her in the manner of a shield. “It does not heal the wound, Christian.” Oh do you think that knowing you regret it will give me back the time I lost? The trust I lost? The parts of me that had to be reconstructed?”“No,” replied Christian, who now looked ashamed. “I don’t. And I’m not asking you to forget what I did or even forgive me. I just had to tell you that… I can see it now. I can now understand how self-centered I was and how unable to notice your suffering.She tilted her head to the side, her mouth tightening as she looked out the window and saw the rain running down the glass. “Blind, huh?” she said with much bitter
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
All about Phoebe
Phoebe went back to the fire, her hands folding over her chest. For what seemed like a long time she did not respond. The fire crackled in the background, and its heat was the only thing that made the atmosphere between them warm.“What do you want from me, Christian?” she asked after a long time her voice was so low that it was barely audible.“Nothing,” he said quickly. “I don’t want anything from you. I just… I had to share it with you because it is the truth. To say sorry and let you understand that I noticed your suffering. That I see you.”Phoebe only managed to stifle a sarcastic laugh. “You see me now? That’s rich. Where was this clarity two years ago?”Christian moved a little closer and spoke slowly and calmly as if he was pleading with her. I was blind back then Phoebe.” As if the rest of the world does not exist, or, at least, I don’t exist to the rest of the world. But now… now I see everything I should have seen before. I understand how powerful you are, how much you inv
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Get rewarded
“Sorry isn’t enough,” said Phoebe, tears rolling down her cheeks. “They think they can just come out and apologize and that’s the end of it.”“I’m not expecting that,” Christian said quickly. I know that I can never reverse the wrong I have done. But I had to tell you. I had to stop bringing this with me without doing something about it.”Phoebe exhaled hard and then rested her weight against the windowsill. “Well, did you even know what you left behind?” “How much I had to tidy up after you?”“I’ve thought about it,” Christian said, softly. “But I know that thinking about it isn’t the same as living it. I still can’t fathom how difficult it must have been for you.”Phoebe looked at her and shook her head, fuming again. “And you didn’t just hurt me, Christian.” You made me doubt, everything, including us, including myself. I used so much time thinking why am I not enough. Why I couldn’t repair whatever was ailing you.”Christian cringed as if the words that came out of her mouth had h
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Another Game
One part of him wanted to kick Christian out, shut the door and never see him again. But there was another part, a lesser, more contemplative part of him that was interesting. What if Christian really had transformed? What if this wasn’t just another one of his games?“Alright,” Phoebe said in the end, the word coming out sounding more like a bitter grumble. “You want to talk? Talk. ‘I’m not making any guarantees here,’ I tell him.Christian nodded and his shoulders dropped down as well. He looked around the room, and then looked at the couch. “Do you mind if we sit?”Phoebe frowned, then reluctantly gestured at the couch with a nod. He stayed on his feet, leaning with his arms folded against the wall, a defensive air about him.Christian leaned back on the couch, placing his elbows on his knees and his hands on top of each other. He looked at the floor for a moment with a blank face, then he said something.“I know I hurt you. And not just once—repeatedly. You wanted to help me and I
