She shut her eyes tightly and let him speak about it and his words felt like a soothing ointment to her ears. But at the same time she remained afraid that her past would one day overtake all that she and Oliver had created. The next morning Phoebe made up her mind to go straight to her fears. She dialled her mum’s number, her heart racing while the phone rang. “Phoebe, finally,” Evelyn’s voice came through, her voice laden with suppressed anger. I have been trying to get hold of you for weeks now. Why are you ignoring us?” “Mom,” Phoebe said, getting ready for whatever was to come. “I’m not coming back. I need to live my own life.” Her mother sighed deeply, disapprovingly. “This is not the life you wanted for us Phoebe, this is not the life that we raised you to be in.” You are wasting all our efforts, all our achievements, our education, our chances. You’re being… irresponsible.” Phoebe held the phone firmly, she was trembling as she spoke. There is nothing wrong with that; per
Phoebe let her gaze drift towards the wild shore for a moment before she and Oliver were lost in stillness again on the porch. She was aware that indecision was still rolling over her like inclement weather, but there was this calm after the storm sort of a feeling as if the tides themselves were coming to terms with her decision. Finally, Oliver spoke, raising his voice to an almost whisper. “Phoebe, if it gets to be too much if they keep pushing and you need a break then you can come here.” It’s okay to remain, the pressure is not compulsory.” She got closer to him saying ‘I was shocked but the look on your face now makes me feel naked yet protected.’ ”I know,” she said, almost in a whisper of thankfulness. “To be here… with you… I think this is the first time I was given the choice.” He moved closer and enfolding her hand into his, he gave it a comforting squeeze. “Then let this place be our sanctuary,” he whispered. “We will wait for whatever will happen but we will do it when
Oliver was close to her at work, and she looked at him when he smiled, putting a small bouquet in her hands. “For the artist and the hostess,” he said, and there was tenderness in his tone. “Phoebe, you are doing a splendid work.” I know she is going to be so touched.” Phoebe clutched the bouquet tightly to her chest, her heart filled with emotion. She had not been plotting something like this since the time she was forced into planning formal family functions and the liberty she felt in this instance was something she had not felt for ages. In the evening, they finished everything and placed tiny candles that would burn when it was getting dark. When they were done, everything seemed neat, comfortable and welcoming – a fitting background for Grandma Peterson’s birthday. Phoebe took a moment and looked at the result of their efforts. She glanced at Oliver and with the tone of thankfulness in her voice said. That is all okay I appreciate your help in helping me to put all these toge
Phoebe was still standing on the porch, breathing heavily, after the moment of silence. Christian’s car was gone down the driveway but the energy of his anger and pain did not dissipate and filled the air around the cottage. She was conscious of the fact that Oliver was standing beside her, his hand was near her, in a position that he could catch her if she were to faint. The night was quiet and the silence was filled with things that were never said. And at last he looked her full in the face, with an expression of quiet inquiry. “Are you okay?” She gasped, feeling how her chest was constricted. “I… I don’t know.” She laughed a little but it was forced and even to her it sounded so. That is why I was shocked when he showed up here.” Not like this.” Oliver simply nodded as his face grew stern. “It’s understandable. He has been in your live for years.” Phoebe stood hugging her arms across her chest, as if she was trying to protect herself from the nakedness of the occurrence. “Well
She nodded, and inhaled deeply. “I am… I think I finally am.” She looked away, her eyes focusing on the black sea beyond the glass that came to the shore. “It’s strange. It was so great to spend so much time thinking about what my life would be like if I disappeared, if I could just let myself dream again, and… now I’m beginning to see it. Oliver gave a gentle smile before he could help it and relaxed in the chair, watching her with approval. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? To lastly allow yourself to let go and just exist. He stopped speaking, and turning his head slightly to one side. And the thing about it, Phoebe, is, that nobody else can do it for you.” It has to come from within.” She gazed at him, abruptly perceiving affection and appreciation in her breast. “You are right,” she whispered. “And I’m glad to let you know that you have been reminded of that by my presence.” They sat down cuddling each other enjoying the reflection in the light of the fire that burned on the background
Oliver listened, holding his stare as they strolled, the sand in the beach a little cold and firm to the touch. The sea was calm; the waves gently hit the beach, their sound resonated through the silence of her speaking. He gently grasped her hand and it was as if he wanted her to continue talking, to let go of the burden she had been bearing for so long. “It is quite mind blowing Phoebe,” He said softly to her. “That you are not waiting for someone to bring you happiness, that you are happy with yourself. And I think, once you really believe it, everything else will follow, somehow. That’s when you will start to look at the world from a different perspective. She stared at him, a frown of deep, serious consideration on her face. “It’s a relief, in a way. But it’s also scary. I’ve spent so much time being… what others expected. I think I’m even losing touch with who I am without all of that.” Oliver stopped, looking at her, their fingers still interlocked. ‘You are a strong person,
She did not even pause, and when he offered her his hand, their fingers touched, and they immediately locked their fingers. It was the most charged and yet the most serene time that I felt could be lived and nothing more. They felt as if they were surrounded by a veil, which separated them from the rest of the world, and left them alone with each other.They went on hand in hand, and two of them perfectly coupled as their feet marched them further into the dark. The sea murmured, the day brightened up and only then Phoebe had the feeling that she is really somewhere without any pretense.And the more they strolled along the shore the less words were necessary, the more the silence between them was sacred. They didn’t need words. It was a relief to move their hands and lips, to speak the halting words of a start, the weight of everything they had shared their pasts, their doubts, their hopes lightened in their long, comfortable strides.Finally, they came across a little cove, a lagoon
With the stars coming out one by one, Oliver and Phoebe did not speak, but sat in quiet contemplation as the last of the light disappeared over the horizon. The wind had dropped and there was only the sound of the water as it gently rolled on to the shore. The world seemed vast and she was not overwhelmed by what lay ahead of her for the first time in what seemed like ages.Phoebe slowly inhaled as if drawing in the air around her, the coldness of the air passing through her lungs. “I once believed that happiness was something you had to run after. Like if you didn’t have a goal in mind and were striving for it, it would get lost. Now I’m beginning to think…maybe it is more about searching for the proper place where it is possible simply to let it go.Oliver smiled, he looked into her eyes and they were calm and full of confidence. “Exactly. I’ll be happy when I get this promotion, I’ll be happy when I get that new car, I’ll be happy when I have that new house, we forget that we alrea