SHADOWS OF THE PAST

UNCOMFORTABLE CONSORT

The next day, Logan found himself standing in front of Maya’s apartment. He had spent all night thinking about the zoo trip, about how Ethan had laughed and held his hand. For the first time, he felt like he might actually be making progress, but there was still something weighing on him. He needed to talk to Maya.

He knocked on the door and waited, his heart racing. When Maya opened the door, she seemed surprised to see him.

“Logan?” she said, stepping aside to let him in. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

Logan nodded as he walked in. “I know. I just… I needed to talk.”

Maya closed the door and leaned against it. “Is everything okay?”

Logan ran a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of what he was about to say. “It’s about Ethan. Yesterday was great. It really was, but… I’ve been thinking.”

Maya crossed her arms, looking at him carefully. “Thinking about what?”

Logan took a deep breath. “I don’t want to just be the fun guy who takes him to the zoo once in a while. I want to be more than that. I want to be his father.”

Maya stared at him for a moment before speaking. “Logan, you are his father.”

“I know, but… I’ve missed so much of his life already. I want to make up for it. I want to be there for him, every day,” Logan said, his voice filled with emotion. “But I don’t know how.”

Maya sighed softly, her expression softening. “Logan, it’s not going to happen overnight. You can’t just show up and expect everything to fall into place.”

“I know,” Logan replied quickly. “I’m not expecting that. I just… I need your help, Maya. I don’t know how to do this on my own.”

Maya looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. “Alright. Let’s sit down and talk about this.”

They moved to the couch, and Maya sat down beside him, her arms still crossed.

“What do you think you need help with, Logan?” she asked, her voice calm.

Logan stared at the floor for a moment, then looked up at her. “I don’t know how to be a dad, Maya. I missed all the little things—his first steps, his first words. I don’t even know what he likes for breakfast.”

Maya nodded slowly. “I understand. But Logan, you can’t change the past. What matters is that you’re here now, and you want to be involved.”

“But I don’t even know where to start,” Logan admitted, his voice breaking slightly. “I want to be there for him, but I feel like a stranger.”

Maya reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “It’s going to take time, Logan. You can’t rush this. The best thing you can do is be patient and consistent.”

Logan nodded, though he still felt uncertain. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You won’t,” Maya assured him. “As long as you’re there for him, he’ll see that. He’s already starting to warm up to you.”

Logan let out a long breath. “Yeah, I noticed that yesterday. He seemed happy.”

Maya smiled softly. “He was. You did a good job.”

Logan felt a small sense of relief at her words. “Thanks. I just… I want to do more.”

Maya sat back on the couch, thinking for a moment. “Maybe we could start by setting up a regular schedule. You can spend time with him more often, not just on special outings.”

Logan perked up at the suggestion. “That sounds like a good idea. What do you think would work best?”

“Well, he’s in school during the day, but maybe you could pick him up a couple of days a week,” Maya suggested. “You could take him to the park or help him with his homework.”

Logan nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I can do that. I’d love to help with his homework. What’s he learning about?”

Maya smiled. “Right now, they’re working on simple math and reading. He’s actually pretty good at it.”

Logan grinned. “Of course he is. He’s a smart kid.”

Maya chuckled. “He takes after me, obviously.”

Logan laughed, but his smile faded quickly. “Maya… there’s something else I wanted to ask.”

Maya raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“I want to talk to Ethan. Really talk to him. I want him to know that I’m not just someone who shows up once in a while. I want him to understand that I’m his dad,” Logan said, his voice serious.

Maya frowned slightly. “Logan, I don’t know if he’s ready for that conversation yet.”

“I get that,” Logan replied. “But I think he deserves to know the truth. I don’t want to confuse him or make him think I’m just another guy in his life.”

Maya sighed. “I know, but he’s still young. He’s only five, Logan. It might be too much for him to process right now.”

Logan looked down, feeling torn. “So, what should I do? Just keep showing up and not say anything?”

“For now, yes,” Maya said softly. “Let him get used to you being around. Let him build a relationship with you first. Then, when the time is right, we can explain everything to him.”

Logan nodded slowly, though he didn’t feel entirely satisfied. “Alright. I’ll do it your way.”

Maya smiled, her voice softening. “Thank you, Logan. I know this isn’t easy for you.”

Logan looked at her, his expression serious. “I just want to do what’s best for him.”

“And you are,” Maya assured him. “You’re here, you’re trying, and that’s what matters.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both of them processing the conversation. Finally, Logan spoke again.

“So, when can I start picking him up from school?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

Maya laughed softly. “How about tomorrow? I’ll let his teacher know you’ll be there.”

Logan’s smile widened. “That sounds perfect.”

Maya stood up, stretching her arms. “I’m glad we had this talk, Logan. I think it’s going to help.”

Logan stood as well, feeling a little lighter. “Me too. I appreciate you giving me this chance, Maya.”

Maya nodded. “You deserve it. And so does Ethan.”

Logan glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing it was getting late. “I should probably get going. But thanks again, Maya. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, smiling. “Tomorrow.”

Logan left the apartment, feeling a mix of emotions. He was still nervous about the road ahead, but for the first time in a long time, he felt like he had a plan. He was going to be there for Ethan, and he wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of that.

As he walked down the stairs, he thought about what Maya had said. Building a relationship with Ethan would take time, but Logan was willing to wait. He had missed too much already he wasn’t going to miss any more.