Secretly The Hidden Gem

Two

Break time is over by the time I get back into the locker room. 

I'm so disoriented. 

I keep wondering how Oceana could do this to me. 

My heart feels like it's being squeezed. 

I throw my already too-soggy sandwich in the trash. 

Even if it was still good, I don't think I can stomach anything down right now. 

What hurts the most is how she treated me. I can excuse Bruno because he usually is a jackass but her?

To think that I thought she loved me. 

I loved her with everything in me and I thought she loved me too. The things she said to me back there keep replaying in my mind. I was only good for company. 

As I keep thinking, I get more angry than hurt. I put off paying up for my rent so I could get that ring. It was the best I could get at that price and I put almost all my savings to it. I had hoped to get her something better as soon as I could. 

She just called it cheap and returned it like it was nothing. She looked at me like I was nothing. 

She said she couldn't stay with me, especially because I was a cleaner. I got this job because of her. It paid a little better than my last job and I was trying to be better for her. I've basically been living my life for someone who didn't. 

And of all the people she could choose to be with, she chose Bruno. Knowing all that he had put me through. I had told her how he made work difficult for me and still she chose him. She could have gone off with any other person. Not like that would have made it better. 

Well, maybe a little. I could forgive her but I will just be deceiving myself. 

This has gone way past that. I will have my revenge. I do not know what I will do yet or how I will do it but both of them have to feel what I felt. 

For now, I have to get back to work. 

I have to survive, regardless of how hard it may be.

I am angry right now, I hate the fact that I still have to work here, my thoughts feel utterly disoriented and disorganized.

I want to punch something, anything.

I just want to release all the rage that I am feeling right now.

I think of my work again, perhaps cleaning will help me burn off the anger that I am feeling right now.

I head to the supply closet and get what I need for cleaning the toilets. 

I place them on a cart and head there. I'm not even supposed to be cleaning this place today but here I am. 

The other cleaners for this floor are always nowhere to be found. 

Whenever I ask where the other cleaners are, I'm met with stony stares. I knock softly on the door of the restroom and don't get any response. I knock again to make sure. This is the ladies' restroom and I don't want to be accused of anything. Still no response. I push the door open slowly, walk in and for the second time today, my feet are frozen at the door. My eyes are wide as saucers as they take in the scene before them. 

Inside, two women are making out like their lives depend on it. 

They must have been so engrossed to not hear my knocks. One is a brunette while the other has jet black hair. What could they possibly be high on to get them to touch themselves in a public toilet without the door being locked? Why would anyone even want to use this place for stuff like this. 'Rich' people surprise me. 

I cough slightly and drop the mop bucket in my hand to make a sound and they both turn to look at me. They look like two children that have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. I recognize them both as workers from the top floor - Managers. First, I find my boss making out with my girlfriend or rather ex and now these two. They realize I'm just the cleaner and the expression on their faces changes, they looked at me at first like they were caught by someone of importance, but when they saw that it was just me, their scared expression turns into nonchalance.

They aren’t scared of me.

I am just a weak thing in this office.

A pawn.

Even my own girlfriend or former girlfriend couldn’t be bothered to treat me with respect.

Not to even speak of my boss.

My chest tightens up in rage again but I can't deal with this right now so I gather my things and turn to take my leave. 

A hand lands on my shoulder and I spin around to face them. 

“Whatever you saw or think you saw here remains between us, loser. I hear anything from anyone outside this room and I will deal with you. Better still, I'll have the boss kick your ass out of this company,” the one with jet black hair says. 

I stare at them and a sneer begins to form at the corners of my mouth. 

It is a self depreciating sneer.

This is what my life has turned to.

This is who I have become.

A loser.

They see me sneer and begin to visibly fume with anger. 

The brunette raises her hand to smack me on the face but she's too slow. 

I hold her hand while it's still in the air and bring her hand down in force. 

“How dare you?” she says, her voice is tight with a mix of confusion and anger and her chest heaving up and down as if she just ran a marathon. 

“Do you know who I am? How dare you lay your filthy hands on me? You will regret this. I will make sure your stay here is especially difficult for you. You'll wish you were anywhere but here,” She threatens me, but I can’t care less anymore.

What’s that saying again? You can’t break a broken person, or was it you can’t kill what’s already dead?

If this was another day, I would have cowered in fear but not today. 

I had already taken enough from Bruno and Oceana and I would not let these two add to it. I think of something to say back to them that would summarize how I feel about this situation and can only come up with this.

“You should worry more about yourselves and your reputation than me, I have nothing to lose, not anymore,” I say to them, watching their faces contort in confusion.

And with that, I turn towards the door and step out leaving them to continue what they were up to or continuing to fume angrily.

Besides, I have more important things to worry about.