Secrets of the Past

Chapter 6

The ride was surprisingly peaceful. The road flat and effortless. There was no loud honking or unnecessary stops and everyone inside the bus seemed to understand that they all wanted to be left alone. So did Anna.

She sat at the very aft of the gigantic bus, her ears mantled with her headset as a soft soothing music played into her drums. Anna stared at the sky aimlessly, watching clouds whisk past her as the bus sped away. The book in her hand stared up at her, wondering when she would actually look down to read its content. But she didn't. She remained in her thoughts — where she had been for the past hour, her mind unable to cultivate any other memory or idea to ponder on. Everything she was able to think of made her submerse with regret.

Anna always found herself wondering if she often made decisions so hastily that if left her making the wrong ones.

Hitting Jason with the tree branch. Abandoning him at the hospital. Running away to California and so many more. They were all decisions she made in a hurry without thinking about. She worried if they were bad choices or just necessary ones. What was the difference?

𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮. 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘦.

A line from the song she was listening to rang into her ears like a reminder. Why was Taylor Swift talking to her?

She grimaced. All of a sudden she didn't like the music anymore, though she'd listen to it a hundred times before. So why did it sound so judgmental this time?

Perhaps Taylor Swift was right, perhaps she was the problem or perhaps whatever had been speaking to her, dragooning her to make all these decisions,  was her instinct. And she was convinced that in the end everything would unveil itself. Well, half convinced.

As her thoughts journeyed, she remembered a night she had spent with Jason. He had just returned from an awful day from work and had lost a huge amount of money that she was too unbothered to take note of. She remembered the look on his face that night. He had told her that he couldn't come over to see her but she had insisted, saying she felt lonely and depressed from no one being around.

When Jason had come over, She could tell almost immediately that he wasn't himself but she never asked why and Jason never said. He'd just put a smile on his face and stayed with her throughout the night, leaving early the next morning and causing her to send him an angry text for leaving her so quickly.

She remembered their first ride on the Ferris wheel, him saying no while he puked and as she begged him for another ride. She remembered his nerdy stories about comic book characters and action movies that she wasn't very interested about.

A smile blessed her face at the thought of it.

It wasn't a question for her. Jason really was the nicest guy she had ever been with. He didn't deserve to be on that hospital bed. Her mind wandered to the other guys she had been with.

Nathan. He was the school jock. Handsome, built, tall and excruciatingly cocky. He also cheated on her a lot of times but she put up with it because she knew what a disgrace it would be to dumped by him. Everyone in the school would've found out and so she dated him until high school was over. She regretted every second.

Shane was better. But he was no Jason. He had a band and was always listening to rock music. Anna didn't like it and when she had threatened Shane to break up with him over it, he left it behind, stopped playing the guitar and joined an animation program. Anna still broke up with him leaving him aghast as to why. Shane wasn't a bad boyfriend to her, she always thought. He was just not a good person to himself. He lacked a vision and was lackluster.

She didn't like that.

Turning on her phone to change the music, Anna eyed an older man sitting across from her. His eyes glued to his phone and his hair perfectly styled and connected to his brown stubble beard. He was nearly the same age as Larry. And that was how she recollected who he reminded her of.

Larry.

He was the most protective person she knew. She didn't remember her parents being so deterrent. At that point, she didn't remember much about her parents, all she could undeniably remember was Larry. He had always been there for her, like his own child and although he always acted it, Anna made sure to always remind him that he was not her father.

Harsh but true.

Anna never wanted to stay with her uncle, Wallace. Larry had known that and he made sure she never did. He fought for her even when he knew so little about her, all he understood was that she needed his help. And he was there for her.

“Always,” as he usually said.

What had happened? It was all perfect. Everything. There was nothing wrong. Or had it been happening so slow that she barely noticed it?

There she was in a bus. Scared and running away from the only two people in the world who loved and cared for her. It didn't make sense to her sometimes so why was she doing it?

Why couldn't she stop? Was her excuse of instinct and impulse just a guise for her terrible decision making and insecurity?

Anna sighed exhaustingly. If everything was ever going to start making sense, she hoped that they picked up the pace. She needed to find a reason out of everything she had done.

She needed to convince herself that she wasn't going crazy.

The bus halted at a park and Anna quickly paused the music on her phone. Fixing her hair before getting up on her feet to exit the vehicle. Everyone seemed displaced and unorganized and because she had been at the end of the bus, Anna had to swim her way through the crowd to come down from the transport.

Down at last, Anna took a deep satisfying breath of the California air. The city of Los Angeles always had this life to it and Anna found it a cheerful place to be whenever she felt down.

A cab stopped at the signal of her wave and she hopped in, giving him directions to where she was going.

Her grandmother's house in 410th Hillberry Street. The house technically belonged to her now but Anna never liked the idea of staying alone, especially in such an old house with haunting memories. And so she barely stayed in the place, once she planned on selling it but feared it was an insult to her late grandmother.

Anna highlighted the cab and thanked the driver with a gracious smile. She involved in a small tussle with her luggage before it let her pull it to the front door. Her eyes caught something as she motioned for the door nob.

A mail. Embedded in a formal white envelope and her name written in a very dreadful handwriting. Anna frowned and picked it up. What could it be this time?