As always, I take a big sip of my coffee and continue to finish my homework. The loud crowing of the rooster signals the beginning of a morning. It's now past 3 a.m and I still haven't slept. When 7:30 a.m. I need to go to school, every day of mine has passed so tiredly. I close my books, prepare to take a short nap, and go to school. But just an hour and a half later, the door to my room is opened, and my mother with an angry face walks in. She forcefully wakes me up and slaps me in the face. With glazed eyes, I look at her, my heart beating faster. The pain in my cheek makes me numb. She drags my thin body to the desk, thrusts the almost empty pen into my hand, and shouts:
“Why are you sleeping? The previous ranking was only 2nd in the whole school. Why don't you ever listen to me?" – She says, knocking hard on my head – “I forbid you to close the door, why are you disobeying me? How much more do you want me to suffer?”
She rambles on, cursing me until she gets angry. Every day she always finds something to criticize me for. One day, she banned me from eating dinner because I didn't study for 16 hours a day. I am extremely tired of this heavy life, there have been many times when I have argues with my mother. And each time, she always makes the excuse that without her there would be no me, and if I say that again she will commit suicide. I think her unpleasant and extreme personality is one of the reasons my father had another woman, even a stepchild while my mother was pregnant with me.
Of course, I never supports my father's actions, because his lover used to beat me just because she wanted to show her power. My father hasn't come home for a long time. Well, if I were him, I wouldn't want to listen to my mother's complaints or nagging all the time. After all, this marriage is arranged by adults, before the wedding day, they have only met for 2 weeks. Two weeks of getting used to living for a lifetime? It's absurd!
Adults are selfish! They never accept their mistakes, but always make excuses and pass them on to unrelated people. My parents always say that the reason that this marriage broke up is me. My paternal side's family respects men and despises women, so I was not recognized by them.
“If you don't study in the future, you'll become the kind of girl that steals people's husbands! Damn it" - she says, throwing my books on the floor, and turning to leave.
Why compare me to them? Will knowledge determine human morality? I ask myself and then pick up the books. As a bird trapped in the lap, I dared not protest.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel so bad about myself: Puffy eyes and dark circles from staying up late, a haggard face, purple and cracked lips, and a hunched back,... I brush my teeth. Hastily, my hair was cut short like a boy’s (because my mother likes it), change into my uniform, and walk to school.
"Goodbye, mom… I'm going to school"
“Don't make me have to go to school to find you”
I don’t answer, then leave immediately, looking at the blue sky with golden rays, I feel uncomfortable. I hate even happy families who exercise on this road. They are annoying, always smiling and having a good time. Even the puppy always curls its tail to cheer me up even though I'm not its owner anymore. It's all so annoying!
As soon as I get to class, the school bell also rings, and another annoying person comes to talk to me:
"You come at this time every day, don't you, Daisy?" - She says while smiling.
Ironically, I'm not close to her. But out of courtesy, I just hum and quickly return to my seat.
“Eh, that’s so cold!” – Someone raises their voice as if they are referring to me – “Milan, she's an excellent student, we have nothing to talk about with her!”
They just treat me like I don’t exist in the classroom and talk bad about me. I also never claim to be good enough to argue with them, I don't need friends anyway. Friends are just a nuisance and a waste of time! In my class there is another annoying person, his name is Daniel - The new transfer student in the class, a guy who always makes everyone laugh with his boring jokes, he is also my tablemate. The person who annoys me the most. Every time he goes to class, he keeps talking without stopping. It would've been better if he hadn't dragged me into all that nonsense. Every time I ask my teacher to change places, she always told me to help him in studying. He studies poorly, even the most basic knowledge does not have. So I never follow my teacher’s advice. I don't want to deal with such an idiot.
"Hey, it's not Halloween today?"
Right when I am listening to the teacher, he asks again. I ignore him, but he keeps repeating the stupid question over and over. I have to nod to make him stop, but then he covers his mouth and chuckles.
“Then why are you dressing up as a panda today?”
Before I can get angry, a piece of chalk from the podium hits him in the head. The teacher scolds him for talking privately in class, then even drags me in. When I confront her, she replies:
“I see Daniel speaks twice, which means you have to answer before he can continue, right?”
With such absurd words and short-sighted analysis, I feel extremely uncomfortable.
“Also, Daisy, you're a student, after all, the teacher says you should be obedient, right? I know you ranked second in the whole school but you should remember, that you are still inferior to others. I'm just reminding you of that!"
Just like my mother, she brings the matter of ranking into the conversation. To embarrass me and give in? No one says anything about the times when I won first place, only once did I drop the rank, everyone brings this up to laugh at. The haters in the class are happy, they look at me with disdainful eyes. I just look down, don't say anything, just clench my fists. He then scratches his head and says:
“It has nothing to do with her, teacher. It is me who start the conversation first!"
"Is that true? You shouldn't be covering for her."
How to cover? It is he who causes it, but now he is like a hero in everyone's eyes. Does he cover me? What do I do for him to cover? Is it because he is the son of the owner of a large corporation, and always supports my school, that the teachers defend him like that? Damn, it's true that having money, having power, will enjoy many privileges. Society is inherently unfair. Suddenly, a severe headache hits, my eyes become blurred and I can no longer see, I fall into the murmur of the class.
I don't know how long it takes, I wake up, and before my eyes are the medical teacher and the person I am most annoyed with – Daniel.
“You had low blood sugar, so I faint. Remember to take care of your health!” She tells me kindly.
He looks at me slowly and asks:
"Are you OK? I asked the teacher to stay here as soon as I carried you to the infirmary.”
I roll my eyes and look at him.
“It's all your fault, stop acting like a nice person. If you're going to use me as a tool to fulfill your dream of becoming a hero…” – As I speak, I yank on my infusion tube.
The nurse sees this and quickly stops:
“Oh my god, what are you doing? Just rest for a while, your mother will come to pick you up soon! The homeroom teacher called your mother!"
"My mother?"
Those words are like lightning in my ears, the thing that scares me the most has come. If she knows about this, she will surely get angry. At worst, she will ban me to eat dinner and beat me. I am scared, my face changes color.
“Why are you so pale, Daisy? I'm sorry for joking around!"
I ignore those words, hoping that I would quickly return to the classroom. But before I can do anything, my mother is led to the medical room by a teacher. She glances at me with sharp eyes, then smiles and thanks the medical teacher and Daniel. I am escorted to the car by her, and when she is out of sight, she pushes me inside and says in an extremely angry voice:
“What are you doing? Low blood sugar? You only have to study. Why do you always make me sad? Do you know that I'm working and I have to run to pick you up? You missed a class, just because of your stupidity. Have you ever understood my feelings?"
“So… will you ever understand my feelings?”
This is also the sentence that I regret the most, when she hears me reply like that, she immediately slaps me in the face with harsh curses. I am in pain but not in tears.
“Do you have a heart? Do you also ask for a heart? I am so unlucky to have given birth to a child like you!”
So are adults allowed to grieve? I don't have a mind and a heart? Why did you give birth to me with all these organs and not let me use them? I have tear glands too, why won't you let me cry? I'm not you, I have my own life too. I wasn't born to be controlled by you. I hate my mother, hate, hate, hate!
If only one day I dared to say these words. A bird is still a bird, I am still bound by the iron cage.
I am locked in my room and only allowed to go out until I finish all my homework. Looking at the pile of books in front of me, I just want to throw them away. My body is still quite tired, but I dare not rest even for a moment. My mother thinks that just one second is enough to make me inferior to many people. I wonder if the person who has the first rank in my school must study crazy like me? If so, I hope he'll be more unhappy than I am, more coerced than I am. Yes, I am a very selfish person, but I never care about that. My mother always values grades more than genitive.After studying for about 2 hours, I am so tired that I lie down on the floor for a bit. Immediately, the desk phone rings. My mother calls because she sees me being lazy through the camera. Do you have a life of your own, mom? Why do you like to control both lives? I never want such a mother-daughter relationship. I’m just a tool to satisfy her with her vanity. Why me and not someone else?As soon as I hang up, my
“Are you so cynical? That's right, we need people like that!"I respond to him through my thoughts:“I still haven't said I will ever agree. What if I refuse?”The man then laughs, his laugh makes me feel uncomfortable. He says confidently:“But I trust you will not refuse such a tempting offer. Don't you hate studying the most? Since the time to use such brain communication is limited, see you another time!”As soon as he finishes speaking, the sound disappears. I admit that he is right, I have not liked studying even a little, all because my mother forced me. But I come to such a dubious organization as a gamble, so I decide to try my luck. Who knows, I might be freed from my mother's restraint. I look at the camera, then carefully sign and stamp it. Suddenly, behind my earlobe hurt as something stabbed, I go to look in the mirror and discover there is a small hole in it.“Do you hear me?” - A man's voice rings out. My room suddenly becomes dark, I close my eyes.After looking back,
A strange day just passed, it ended with my mother's scolding.Today is Sunday, but I still have to get up early to study. I've always wanted to have a good night's sleep, but because of the effects of coffee, I can't. I have to drink more than 2 cups of coffee every day to stay awake. I know it's bad for my health, but there's nothing I can do about it.Almost everyone likes Sunday because they don't have to go to school or work, they just rest and do the things they like such as shopping, watching TV, going out, etc. My mother also takes the day off work. Sunday is a terrible thing because she watches me all the time. She does not let me rest or entertain even for a moment. So I hate weekends more than other days. In general, I hate all days of the week. If I don't study at home, I'll study at school, and take extra lessons from noon until late at night. But, now I have a different feeling about this life, even if just a little bit. Even if the ARXX organization deceives me, I still
Perhaps because he does not feel safe if I join the organization, he asks again:“Do you want to join us? Because this haunts you”He seems to be looking down on me because of that moment of weakness. This makes me feel uncomfortable.“I guess everyone feels that way at first. Even the leaders of ARXX, including you. But if you are in regular contact, that fear will surely fade away.”“You're right, Daisy! We always welcome you. At 2 pm this afternoon, Ell will bring you to our organization to learn more about the specific job as well as the joining profile.“Ell? The man who judges the rounds?”I suddenly remember the small hole that suddenly appeared behind my earlobe so I ask the man.“This is how we can put images directly into her brain instead of sound. If anything changes, we will contact you later. Now, I need to get back to the organization. Be careful when you go home!"Saying that the man disappears as quickly as before. Everything is still vague. When I return home, my mot
But unlike what I am thinking, the man in front of me, after looking at my profile, thinks that I am a cat-loving person.“No, I don't even love animals”If he knows that I have wanted to kill a dog because it is always around me when I go to school, he will have been more surprised.“I will answer a few more of your questions. So Catta, is there anything you want to ask me?"“Of course yes, with such a suspicious organization, I have a thousand questions to ask you. But since I don't waste time on both sides, I only give the main sentences”“You're welcome, I'm here to do it. Never mind anything!”I look around and open with an old question:“Where was this organization built?”“As I said, it doesn't belong in this land”“Do you mean this land where I live or the whole country?”The man is like a pre-programmed machine, he answers mechanically:"Both are wrong!"Is not right? His answer makes me a little curious. Could this strange organization not exist in the world? I want to ask h
A week goes on and on and the first day of training begins. That day, when I am studying in my room, Ell comes and takes me away. What intrigued me the most is what excuse will he use to convince my mother like last time. Surely, he can't use the old trick again. Today, I am taken to another room, the inside is still painted in white but it's a bit murky and a bit cramped. There is nothing here but a table, two chairs, and a strange machine that looks like a giant egg. What is in front of me is completely different from what I thought.“First, You are doing a general physical examination to assess your health condition. So, Catta, please step inside that machine.”“What is that?” “It's called the Egg of Strength. After entering, your body will enter deep sleep, and the machine will make a detailed assessment of your body and ability to use the powers”I feel a bit suspicious so I do not immediately agree, I hesitantly stare at the strange machine. It seems that this ARXX organization
I don't even know that my mother is away from home and yet he knows so well. Quite disappointed that I don't get to witness a spectacular scam by this glasses man today. That's fine too, I enjoy my mom's absence."Do you know when she'll be back?"He looks at his watch and replies:“Probably in a few hours. We only dare to estimate so.”“In that case, you still have plenty of time to answer my other questions?”The man nods and tells me to go easy.“What weapon are you referring to specifically?” I frown, wondering.“Knives, guns, etc. Weapons include anything that can hit the opponent. Sometimes just a pair of chopsticks is a powerful weapon.”I'm not sure if he's joking or telling the truth. Because here every citizen is not allowed to use such weapons. If found, they will immediately be fined a large amount of money and sent to prison. This is not the country of Mixreca, he needs to know about it.“I apologize for using my power to read your mind. Just as you think, our country mus
Today our class has a surprise Math test. Anyway, this is my forte subject so I'm not too worried, besides, since last night I've been studying very hard. But the person sitting next to me, that obnoxious man named David, and the others, aren't like that. As soon as the teacher announces that there is going to be a test today, they all get into a commotion, very disorderly, they turn left and right again just to complain about the problem. It is only when the teacher mentions it for the third time that they are silent for a while. “You guys need to keep order. Why do you make such noise every time you take a test? No matter what, you have to study well before going to school, right?” – says the teacher, taking a stack of papers from the bag. Call Milan – the class monitor of my class to hand out the test papers to everyone. Before that, some of my classmates asked me why I'm always at the top of the grade but I don't hold any position. It’s largely because my mother forbade me to do