Chapter 40
Valerian raised my face to his by pinching my chin.His eyes were downturned, as if grinning, and glistened with sadness.I could see how I had harmed him over the years.He desired acceptance from me in the same way that I desired acceptance from society and my parents.I felt bad because, like the rest of the world, I consistently avoided him.Why did I treat him so harshly when I didn't want anyone else to feel that way?I could have attempted to be more cooperative.I honestly didn't know how to handle things in a more civil manner, but I could have tried.As a young child, I developed new skills, acquired a new self-image, and experienced emotions I didn't understand.Although it was not an excuse, it was the most plausible explanation I had aside from the obvious, which was that I detested him for initially "buying" me.I might have missed something else about the circumstance.Perhaps he saw a poor girl being abused and thought this would be the most effective strategy for rescuing her.I f
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