“Oh I'm so foolish Darwin, I got married to a man I just met. “ As soon as the words left her mouth it came straight to my heart and pierced it. “You're married?." I asked her. She started to cry again. I held her close to me. This was all my fault. I left her and another man came and took her away from me. “Please, stop crying."“I'm sorry. I can't stop crying, Darwin I hate him so much, so I left him, I had to."“It's fine you don't have to explain." We layed still for a while, we could have layed there forever as long as we we're together. Time seemed timeless as if it were merely a foolish factor and it didn't exist. Her head was on my chest and her eyes were shut. “Darwin." She called me.“Yes?." “Did you miss me?." She asked me.“To hell, I missed you so much."“Did you think of me?."“Yes."“How much."“Too much."“Dee, tell me what's going on with you."“You called me Dee."“Yeah you don't like it?."“I do, I really do, it sounds sexy coming from your mouth.
“We can do this together, get divorced let's go anywhere together, just forget about him."“I would love to get divorced but the question is would he sign the divorce papers. I know him, he's very stubborn, too stubborn in fact."“Trust me Ará, and I'm serious when I say this but trust me, he would, if he doesn't want it the easy way, he would get it the hard way. I'm not joking about taking you back."“I'm scared of him Dee."“Don't be scared of him, I'm here now, things have changed, now that I'm here, you're safer than ever." " This feel like a dream. It would be all wrong if I wake up tomorrow morning and you're gone. “ she said. “We're going to be together, no matter what we'll be together at the end, when you wake up, I'll be here, this isn't a dream, it better not be."“I want that, I want us to be together."“It would happen, Ará, I love you.""I love you Darwin, I do, I love you more than anything in this world. I want you bady but I'm confused, what if you leave me again.
I went to bed that night thinking of Darwin. He was literally right beside me. I turned to look at him, he was fast asleep. I touched his hair, and then I ran my finger across his eye brows and I couldn't help but place a kiss on his lips. It's funny how we met, it is a strong sign that we were meant to be together and things would actually change for the better. I wore a big smile on my cheek and eventually I fell asleep. I was greeted with a dream that was scary and also frighteningly vivid, as if I was standing there and seeing everything by myself. And as much as I tried to, I couldn't wake up. I could see everybody but they couldn't see me, it was like I was reliving a memory but this time I could witness it from another perspective. The dream goes thus; Ash was angry, I could see how her skin grew red, I saw her hands shook at her side and her lips quivered. Then she ran up the stairs, I followed her. Her tiny feet made loud thomps on the wooden stairs.
As if suddenly, I realized that I could be anyone in that room, I could be anyone I chose to be, I could be my dad, my mum, I could be my little self but I chose not to be any of those, I chose to be Ash. I wanted to live through her pain, maybe I would forgive myself, maybe I would find peace. Maybe I would find relief through living her pain. Then I was Ash, my small body was laying on the ground and my head was in the direction of the door, I could see everybody. It felt weird to be Ash: it felt ugly. Sadness was all over my face, I told them that I was sorry but they didn't listen. Now I was dying. I wish I could've just stayed calm, I knew that I shouldn't have done all those bad things. I deserved to die and still I deserved to live. My lips was slightly open, I wanted to ask something, but I couldn't remember what. It was sad that I would die with my question... Tiny pieces of ceramic stood all around me, my blood was thick and it looked too dark to be cal
We were standing downstairs In the parking lot when they arrived.“They're here, baby.““I swear I don't want to go with them.““You'll be fine with them."“They look too scary."“They look professional, they're very effective, have it in mind that you'll be safe."“When are you going to be back."“Tomorrow."“Promise me you'll be back by tomorrow."“I promise you."“When you come back, promise me that you'll tell me everything."“I don't think I can do that."“Darwinson, it's me Ará, your one and only love, trust me."“Ará, I trust you, I do, but I don't want you to see that side of me."“What side."“The violent side."“Would it scare me."“Yes."" Is it enough for it to make me leave you?. “" Even if you want to leave me, Ará, I'm not leaving you. “Then she laughed. And she said. “If you don't want to tell me, it's fine, but you'll have to tell me one day, you have to open up, opening up is key, you told me that with your own mouth." " I love you. “ I told her. " I mean it. “S
“That's the last thing I want to do, I don't want to listen to you, Mandy. You lie, you're so good at lying that you are invincible."“Darwin, I have something to tell you. It's not a lie, believe me."" What is it?."“Mark had told me something."“And what made you think I want to hear about it."“Because it's a big secret, your family secret."" My family has too many secrets Mandeline, too many. “" This one is a must to hear and you have to hear it, c'mon, stop being stubborn and just listen. “ Then she caught my attention or maybe she could just be lying, she was desperate to live, she would do anything to save her life right now.“Now I'm curious." I told her. “I know, I know you'll be curious, if you hear it, the simple information, it would change your life forever, literally."" My life has been changing too much these days... And now a cun artist is promising me that it would change forever. “" You'll be the judge. “" You know what?. “ I asked." What?. “" I don't thi
We all have our demons, are we a part of them or are they a part of us. That wasn't an important question, the important question is who is a slave to who... Most times we are being controlled by our fears and we try as much as possible to run away from them and then they tell us to face our fears and we should do it while being scared and that in a very short while, our fears would be nothing. Then it leads me to ask, what are fears if not constructs of our own mind, our own imagination. Now it brings me to ask again, who's side is the mind on, is the mind on our side or is it just acting on its own, without our help, is our mind a part of us or are we a part of our mind. It is true that we act the way we think and that's why self limiting beliefs are damnation unto men and then these words: “I think therefore I am or I act therefore I am." Has been debated for years, Rene Descartes wrote at length about it. But truly somethings are not meant to be explained and some cases
It was 11:35 and Darwin was still in bed. I was in the room with him but I wasn't on the bed, I was sitting in the chair that was set in front of the window. He had arrived very early in the morning. I had woken up to see his arms wrapped around me. Something I really really loved. I loved it so much that it drew tears from my eyes. But I couldn't help but feel insecure, what if he leaves me, what if Mandeline comes back and he fancies her again and then he feels he loves her and not me. But love doesn't work that way and Darwin doesn't tell lies. He loves me and I love him, and I have to learn to trust him, I have to bring down my walls and let him in. It wouldn't be so hard... Would it?He also has to tell me anything, he has to trust me too. Unless the both of us would be wasting our time together. Are we together? Are we a couple or a pair… what the actual fuck are we.Although I wouldn't say we were intimate with eachother, we haven't had sex with eachother in