I went to bed that night thinking of Darwin. He was literally right beside me. I turned to look at him, he was fast asleep. I touched his hair, and then I ran my finger across his eye brows and I couldn't help but place a kiss on his lips. It's funny how we met, it is a strong sign that we were meant to be together and things would actually change for the better. I wore a big smile on my cheek and eventually I fell asleep. I was greeted with a dream that was scary and also frighteningly vivid, as if I was standing there and seeing everything by myself. And as much as I tried to, I couldn't wake up. I could see everybody but they couldn't see me, it was like I was reliving a memory but this time I could witness it from another perspective. The dream goes thus; Ash was angry, I could see how her skin grew red, I saw her hands shook at her side and her lips quivered. Then she ran up the stairs, I followed her. Her tiny feet made loud thomps on the wooden stairs.
As if suddenly, I realized that I could be anyone in that room, I could be anyone I chose to be, I could be my dad, my mum, I could be my little self but I chose not to be any of those, I chose to be Ash. I wanted to live through her pain, maybe I would forgive myself, maybe I would find peace. Maybe I would find relief through living her pain. Then I was Ash, my small body was laying on the ground and my head was in the direction of the door, I could see everybody. It felt weird to be Ash: it felt ugly. Sadness was all over my face, I told them that I was sorry but they didn't listen. Now I was dying. I wish I could've just stayed calm, I knew that I shouldn't have done all those bad things. I deserved to die and still I deserved to live. My lips was slightly open, I wanted to ask something, but I couldn't remember what. It was sad that I would die with my question... Tiny pieces of ceramic stood all around me, my blood was thick and it looked too dark to be cal
We were standing downstairs In the parking lot when they arrived.“They're here, baby.““I swear I don't want to go with them.““You'll be fine with them."“They look too scary."“They look professional, they're very effective, have it in mind that you'll be safe."“When are you going to be back."“Tomorrow."“Promise me you'll be back by tomorrow."“I promise you."“When you come back, promise me that you'll tell me everything."“I don't think I can do that."“Darwinson, it's me Ará, your one and only love, trust me."“Ará, I trust you, I do, but I don't want you to see that side of me."“What side."“The violent side."“Would it scare me."“Yes."" Is it enough for it to make me leave you?. “" Even if you want to leave me, Ará, I'm not leaving you. “Then she laughed. And she said. “If you don't want to tell me, it's fine, but you'll have to tell me one day, you have to open up, opening up is key, you told me that with your own mouth." " I love you. “ I told her. " I mean it. “S
“That's the last thing I want to do, I don't want to listen to you, Mandy. You lie, you're so good at lying that you are invincible."“Darwin, I have something to tell you. It's not a lie, believe me."" What is it?."“Mark had told me something."“And what made you think I want to hear about it."“Because it's a big secret, your family secret."" My family has too many secrets Mandeline, too many. “" This one is a must to hear and you have to hear it, c'mon, stop being stubborn and just listen. “ Then she caught my attention or maybe she could just be lying, she was desperate to live, she would do anything to save her life right now.“Now I'm curious." I told her. “I know, I know you'll be curious, if you hear it, the simple information, it would change your life forever, literally."" My life has been changing too much these days... And now a cun artist is promising me that it would change forever. “" You'll be the judge. “" You know what?. “ I asked." What?. “" I don't thi
We all have our demons, are we a part of them or are they a part of us. That wasn't an important question, the important question is who is a slave to who... Most times we are being controlled by our fears and we try as much as possible to run away from them and then they tell us to face our fears and we should do it while being scared and that in a very short while, our fears would be nothing. Then it leads me to ask, what are fears if not constructs of our own mind, our own imagination. Now it brings me to ask again, who's side is the mind on, is the mind on our side or is it just acting on its own, without our help, is our mind a part of us or are we a part of our mind. It is true that we act the way we think and that's why self limiting beliefs are damnation unto men and then these words: “I think therefore I am or I act therefore I am." Has been debated for years, Rene Descartes wrote at length about it. But truly somethings are not meant to be explained and some cases
It was 11:35 and Darwin was still in bed. I was in the room with him but I wasn't on the bed, I was sitting in the chair that was set in front of the window. He had arrived very early in the morning. I had woken up to see his arms wrapped around me. Something I really really loved. I loved it so much that it drew tears from my eyes. But I couldn't help but feel insecure, what if he leaves me, what if Mandeline comes back and he fancies her again and then he feels he loves her and not me. But love doesn't work that way and Darwin doesn't tell lies. He loves me and I love him, and I have to learn to trust him, I have to bring down my walls and let him in. It wouldn't be so hard... Would it?He also has to tell me anything, he has to trust me too. Unless the both of us would be wasting our time together. Are we together? Are we a couple or a pair… what the actual fuck are we.Although I wouldn't say we were intimate with eachother, we haven't had sex with eachother in
It was night time. The weather was cool and the sky was lovely. The dark sky was lit with countless stars. It was like a gloomy painting. Darwin was driving the both of us to a bar. He had asked that we go to a restaurant on a proper date but that was going to be boring, I didn't want to bore him like I did the day I took him to my gallery. So I decided that we go to a bar. He told me that there was a place he knew, that was where we were going. The memory of the day I took him to my gallery flashed before my eyes. Truly that day I was nervous and I could hardly make words to say to him. But now, we didn't need to speak to each other. And I knew it. His hand was holding mine.“Darwin. Both hands on the wheels."“You Said?." He asked me playfully.“I know you heard me. Clearly."“Okay boss." He said and left my hand to place his hands on my thighs. He rubbed it up and down, the sensation was just too much, it was overwhelming. My breath caught in my throa
A few months before. I woke up from sleep with a neck ache. It wasn't so bad, it wasn't good either. It's been weeks since I've been waking up with a lot of things. Back ache, knee ache, head ache, tooth ache, feet ache.... Sometimes I even get torn out of sleep by muscle pull. Severe muscle pull. Honestly, I was too young and too beautiful to be having bad experiences like that. I stretched a little on my bed before I went to the bathroom to take my bath. I didn't want to go to work today. I didn't want to, I just felt too tired to get up from my bed. It was my work that was making me feel bad, I worked at a textile company. The pay was good, but, it was tiring. I had to stand long hours just to over look and supervise some certain things. But God knows I now deserved the change I had been praying and begging for.I got dressed and I took the bus to work. Last two weeks my car broke down and I just haven't had the time to fix it, I didn't even know what the pro