Tenth author's journal 2: Mikhail

17.5_Continous mortality

Chapter 17.5: First death

[Contain “abuse” and “gore”. Proceed with cautious]

[Rebooting]

Again, nothing can be seen in the death realm. Pa's authority over the concept of death has allowed me to be reborn time and time again. In this forsaken realm, each time to be modified on my part. Every time I am violated to my core, I am disgusted by it.

[Cause of death: mana exhaustion]

[Process of repairing the vessel: 15%]

[Modification ?]

This time, I should limit my mana output so that I don't waste so much every time. While this terrain is mana poor, the majority of it is dark mana, so there should be some trait to go along with it to accumulate with that.

Finally, the balance of light and dark mana...

Being a homunculus has its advantages. Unlike elemental magic, which can manifest freely, light and dark constantly collide; losing control of one will result in permanent physical transformation. My halo and white are the physical manifestations of 70% of light magic. Let's keep it even this time.

[ Modification: Change the size of the mana vessel onto the physical vessel; change mana absorption trait to mana efficiency; Reduce physical appearance to suit the ratio]

[Completed]

[Process of repairing the vessel: 75%]

Again, as is customary at this point, this death was relatively painless compared to the previous one, allowing the system to quickly repair the vessel, both mentally and physically. Those wings... I'm curious what will change. It will never be the same again, not pure white with underlying sharp bone.

[Process of repairing the vessel: 90%]

[Interception…delay]

[How appropriate for a traitorous little defective like you] The voice is speaking from the other side. It cannot transmute clearly due to the impersonation of how much this realm can still hold if a mana outburst occurs. I know how impossible it is to avoid him entirely, and I must meet him again one day in thousands of years.

[Unfortunately, you manage to convince Gabriel that it has taken you instead of cooperating with the likes of it] Of course, he has seen it and would have blasted us whenever he pleased, but why not? The first archangel is afraid to touch the third. On his creations? That is only if the sealing was broken or if God awoke from his slumber.

"I never said anything about lying to Gabriel about it." "I just don't want my twin's blood on my hands." Gabriel is the only person who matters to me, as I have stated numerous times. Even if he opposes me, I will always try not to hurt him.

[ Courteous, are we? But, you know, he'll have to do it eventually, right? So I may now respond to your new response with an offer. Return to me with the head of the demon you were escaping with, and I may consider reuniting you two.] What are you reuniting as? As the tortured souls of many failed experiments? Gabriel has outlived his usefulness, hasn't he? No matter how unbroken his ego appears to be, his status is still that unexpected byproduct of Lord Michael's legacy's recreation as a homunculus.

"I'd rather go into the god chamber than accept this." Challenging our god is a better fate than returning as a disposable and betraying my contractor. I will never, even if my soul is rotten in front of God's gaze.

[Such a bold statement, so my experiments have resulted in two distinct egos. Okay, now you know exactly how I dealt with heretics. But for today's result, I'll spare number twelfth until he shows any side of corruption.]

"And now, shall we say our final farewell?" So there's no reason for me to address you as Pa?" Was he ever thinking of me or Gabriel as his sons, because he and Ma were treating those angels better than we were? How many times did Gabriel have to die for him to enjoy war?

[Call me whatever you want; your core material is still a fragment of my soul, but it keeps my name out of the fiends' ears with which you are associated. That is the most I can care about in my experiment. Not to mention a failed one.]

[...Because this location will no longer serve any of my purposes, I will transfer it entirely to you. You can consider it either a gracious gift or a declaration of war. I'll inform Jophiel about your betrayal; it may take some time, so take advantage of it.]

[ Erasing S*****, Overseer of humanity out of system ]

[Insufficent administration]

[Transfering M******, Archangel of knowledge to Admin]

Finally, that means the repairing can be done and I can go ba-

[Loading experiment load of project Michael]

Oh no, not this.

[ Log 01:

Within a day, a pair of twin homunculi were born. I'm thinking about getting rid of the one with less magical power, but it showed a lot of strength, so I'll keep a separate file for it later for combat research..]

[Log 02:

When I first met the new homunculus, I noticed how different it was. It felt like he was there, brother Micheal, the brightest leader we've ever had. So, instead of the usual Micheal, a more appropriate name should be used. So, how about Mikhail?]

The first few are relatively mild. He was filming how I was acting like Lord Michael. I know how much he wants this project to succeed, but I never thought it was motivated by his obsession with Lord Micheal's image.

[ Log 101:

It's been far too long. This realm has not been filled, and the vessel has not improved in any way, including muscle memory. The homunculus had learned everything I had asked for, but a century is too long to wait for it to change on its own. I'll have to take matters into my own hands. ]

[ Log 102:

In my office, I brought the homunculus "Mikhail." The subject appeared naively excited as it lay on the cold steel table until the sharp scalpel reached its outer skin. Cutting its skin is relatively simple, and it has abandoned the previous defense because I am trusted? The lung and heart were still underdeveloped, with the size of an elf; the mana reception organ is still developing, which is why I praised it. Mikhail continued to breathe even while being cut open; it wasn't until I ripped open its still bleeding heart that it began to lose its life force. "Next time, try harder, my son," I said, hoping that this would reduce the uncooperative nature that would develop as a result of this.]

[Log 103:

It took it seven days and six nights to completely repair its body. I haven't had the time in this realm to implement communication, so it has struggled greatly. When it returned, it expressed fear toward me but remained obedient. The procedure had been successful in improving the vessel. I'll keep track of future developments using this method.]

Pa's lessons are nothing more than experiments to improve the desired outcome. Spatter my brain, gouge my eyes, amputate a limb, and my body slowly begins hyper-regenerating to the standard of a god angel's. Somehow, seeing it written down like this makes the fear I felt whenever I tried not to remind myself of them vanish.

[Log 735:

Kushiel requested that I use the homunculus "Mikhail" instead of the usual "Gabriel." He used his advantage of finding a demon king to force my approval, and I had no choice but to reluctantly agree. I've grown to despise them as the overseer of humanity. Their greed and wrath to trample on the weak are simply despicable; why did God give them free will in the first place? Couldn't they be created in the same way that we are? I wish sister Uriel was here to tell me about her experience, but sister Jophiel keeps my spirits up. The homunculus is badly damaged but can heal itself; the vessel will not improve as a result. I will not allow Kushiel to gain such favor again. And I'll figure out a way to compensate for the homunculus's injuries. Better yet, Mikhail should know when and how to rebirth at this point, so I should stay out of its way..]

I remember who and what to avenge better now that I've been watching these archives. Sacrifices must be made in order to achieve it. However, knowing how similar we are in nature, I can't find the rage or resentment to bring myself to hate him. In the roles we play, whether as overseers of humanity or as escapees to a foreign land, each of us has a different sense of fulfillment, is that like Andromalius' duty?

A pain settles in the depths of my soul as if it is responding to both of our pains. The archives pile on top of each other, and they are gradually discarded by the complete erasure of pa... No, it shouldn't be his because we're now two very different characters. Sariel's data vanishes along with his archive, with each subsequent edition expressing less and less development of the vessel but a diary that a father keeps. How was I treated differently than the previous vessel?

[ Log XXXXX3

It escaped. The homunculus escaped, and it worked with a filthy tanrukk, not even a powerful one. And here I thought that having chosen something that surrendered itself was sufficient. But it's not enough, and it never will be. Another failed experiment, but this time I compel. I will never be able to go back in time and recreate brother Micheal.]

A terrible sense follows me, a great sense of betrayal and the painful truth. Lord Michael in my image will never be seen by Sariel again. Hurt me, hurt me? Why? Why is it so painful? Is it remorse? It is already too late for a voiceless apology. Sariel has severed ties with this realm. I can't say I'm sorry to my father anymore.

[Process of repairing the vessel: 100%]

I opened my eyes and found myself in an unfamiliar bed. The chamber is no longer familiar. Is the adventure I had with Blood Claw an ephemeral dream? Was the meeting with Andromalius, one of the 72 Ars Goetia demons, also a nightmare? But when I look down from my feet, I see an incubus sleeping. Kryos has been waiting for my return, so it wasn't all a dream. I can't go back because I've made my decision.

"You have awakened, little angel." Speak with the hoarse voice of a half-sleeping incubus. "It took you a long time, huh?"

The end

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Entertainment, for one's lust, and sloth.

Hardship for one's discipline to sharpen.

Everyone must do their duty.

No matter how much to sacrifice.