Tenth author's journal 2: Mikhail

39_Necessary sacrifice

Chapter 39: A withering heart

“Let all rewind a bit, shall we?” Lambert shouts overwhelmed by our proposals, I guess he has to give a little scare to give him a real reality of war. When the tide is high, you may have to face your once-closed allies on the battlefield.

…I don’t intend to die at all. If you have asked me before accepting that deal with Kryos, I would have answered to forfeit my life for the greater good. For the aimless homunculus I once was, it no longer existed in this world so a decision must be reached and Sariel must fall.

 “The youth have been quite witting at sacrificing their kin, haven’t they?” Matasyn chuckles at the cynicism of the situation, for him to sacrifice the lover and the former branch of his life for an uncertain cause only to be followed by the suggestion that has an equal or even greater value than his.

“Telling a sob story won’t help either, ancient being. You should look at a tactical standpoint rather than just release the miserable one in unfair condition.” Uriel refutes, though her body trembles at the thought yet they wouldn’t waver of what price she will have to come to terms with.

How grand was her oracle I wonder, and what suit will follow so great if she makes the wrong choice? I can’t think of any besides having her life to be forfeited, at this point I don’t find many of us besides myself value their existence much more than before. To live as an archangel is the chain that no one wants to dwell on for millenniums.

“Well we have to look at our different viewpoints, shouldn’t we?” Lambert intervenes once more, he gains composure after hearing their standpoint. He seems to be one not eager to kill any and leave the war with the least blood being shed. Now that is just wishful thinking.

“I was surprised you two are so devoted to the cause even when you two are the later edition to the rebellion.” He continues. The look deemed another question arises, one that neither of us can’t think of the immediate answer to.

“Is there a reason for it or you are just going with the flow of bloodshed?” Lambert asks looking direct at our side as if the judge who accounting for the criminal motive.

The question shocks both Uriel and me, I don’t expect one to be questioning the rationality after this, even when discarding the factor of relationship, it would be rather unpleasant when our strategies are being deduced to a mere decision at the moment.

“I find it cumbersome to discuss the why and what happened, I only suggest Jeremiel out of the tactical advantage that may bring us.” Uriel scorns Lambert’s question, she has made it hard for her not to give out the small movement of a tremble.

“That is also the reason I accompany Kushiel to his execution on the world table.” Her trembles stop at the mention of Kushiel’s death, out of pure hatred. As the smoke and dust cleared on that day, I remember seeing a glimpse of a rare smile from her. A wicked one to have glad of an archangel’s death.

“I have certainly heard. I don’t expect the youngest to be the fastest to declare their traitor identity.” Matasyn chuckles as he speaks, taking a lukewarm tea, he takes a sip. As if something like the garden of Promise’s massacre would go unnoticed.

“ I have escaped from that birdcage of a garden so it comes as a logical intuition of what comes next. You wouldn’t bother to think of the correlation much, Matasyn?” I sigh, and take a cinnamon cookie out of the batch on the table, the warm sensation leaves my mind turns relaxed for a moment before being urged by Lambert.

“There is no need to get hasty, Mikhail. We’re allies here, and you haven’t given us a reason for your suggestion.” He reminds me of the question in mind, of course, things will have gone south when they heard my reason.

“The reason is particularly simple, because of his vulnerability to curses. I know my brother well enough for him to grant him a painless one.” I confess the plan of killing Gabriel as others serve as a simple distraction.

The spell [Hypnos’s dormitabis] sends Gabriel slowly to eternal slumber, wearing him down as my final mercy against my brother. It’s painless as I want him to be in my very arm in his last moment, nowhere else but my own arm. Atonement isn’t what I asked for but chastity is much appreciated.

The table shuns before my answer, and all of them seem shocked. I don’t expect them to be this way, maybe my method causes so much time that it may cause us to capture or it seems so idiotic that it isn’t worth considering.

“I was thinking you were a heartless one, yet you are so similar to mine,” Matasyn speaks solemnly. In a blink of an eye, his opinion of me has changed so vast that I can bearly see his coldness from before.

“I see…but that is the wrong assumption.” Suddenly, Uriel speaks boldly. Even though she claims to be the same as me yet calling me having the weaker connection between twins. How hypocritical.

“What is wrong? I have been there ever since the day we birth, every wound I tend and every cut he inflicted. Don’t I know that much?” I scorn in frustration. As my bad habit goes, the air seems to have got colder from the leaking of mana.

“Well, he was hiding his true power from you. You have never seen his combat sense of the battlefield. Blood is what drives Gabriel to go on.” Uriel mentions a time she has seen him on a subrogation of demons.

As a battalion of demons went all out as Gabriel, he also replied by slashing them down one by one. His potency lies in Blood magic as he used the remaining enemies' fallen allies to repel them. Horrific as it was, I find no irritation in her logic as I also share the same unknown ailments.

“I know…but we also share that sense of battle frenzy,” I speak with a monotone.

Lambert snaps as a piece of table breaks apart from his side, that suppose to be an ancient oak wood, and he just it in half with the usage of mana of any supplement. This must have been his shocking reaction only.

“You boys share what? Why did no one ever notice you…” Lambert speaks with a pained tone. Playing innocent, aren’t we? While his lessons weren’t lethal but they sure to provoke something like others. A sense of survival, because I and Gabriel wished not to be disposed of by dying so much, we fought everything like our last breath.

“I was holding back, a façade I tries to hide but I found it to be more clear as I simply let loose everything. I guess it was ‘lessons’ that drives my survival instinct.” I answer with hidden pieces, I don’t want them to piece back the old grudge of mine, those days are behind us after all.

“What lessons?” Matasyn asks. Of course, he has done little to no harm to me and even sometimes tend Gabriel’s wounds in my absence. He truly is the innocent one in this situation.

“It seems that the sage is the clueless one, this time.” My comment sends Matasyn into a silent pit. Rarely but cute of him to be this flustered

“But it means that we can’t take on Gabriel when he has that kind of strength when comparing him to Mikhail. If we convert Mikhail’s mana into Gabriel’s aura…the battle will last for days on in.” Uriel’s conclusion hit the final nail in the coffin of Gabriel’s dying by my hand so early. 

“I understand when to stop,”  I admit defeat.

“Then we only have two more options left. Either Jeremiel or Barachiel.” With Gabriel out of the picture, there are only two left as possible targets…of course, there would be constant battering between those two.

Both Uriel and Matasyn don’t know when to give as they continue to put up with how their plan will be more “beneficial” than the others. The former sacrificial sorrow of before now turns into this ridiculous auction house atmosphere on whom to be assassinated.

At the time, Lamber continues to pry on how I get the battle frenzy aliment. I guess he wasn’t taking well with how his thoughts of me being mudded with those barbaric tactics. I can’t explain to him so this conversation has come to a one-sided interrogation.

“Can you just give up? I know there must be some ways that your plan can be more flawed nor ethically questionable than mine.” Uriel shouts in frustration readying her hallucination potion to make Matasyn into a madman.

“You should say the same, Uriel. Against your sister, they are as cruel as mine to my former lover. Getting stabbed by the back or taken hostage, they are as mercilessly as Sariel’s reasoning.” Matasyn is no different as he prepares to cast some spells to cause minor illusions as well.

There must be a flaw in one of their argument, a way to stop this ridiculous rift between them. Rift… Things may have turned in favor of Matasyn.

“I remember, wasn’t Sariel’s favor Jeremiel more than you, Uriel?” I bring up the fact of their different patron on both sisters. I remember something about Jophiel picking Uriel from the line of elven priestesses while Sariel only favored Jeremiel when Uriel made the suggestion of her sister to him.

“Is there a point to that or did you just point out that I envy her? Just so you know Mikhail, I am favorable to ma as much as Jeremiel to pa.” Uriel scoffs

“No, no I mean she isn’t something that can easily be getting rid of Kushiel.” As sure, Kushiel was only hand-picked because of his personal skill so Sariel was going to get bored of him easily.

“Why do you bring that bastard name into this? He has been killed by you already?” Uriel expresses her disgust toward him, checkmate!

“Exactly, since Kuishel was the weakest in the thirteen archangels, I killed him with little to no consequences.” I open the topic of his status toward the twelve archangels so she has fallen into my trap of revaluing Jeremiel’s place as Sariel’s precious pawn to adjust this world’s good and evil.

“So with you refute, there is a possibility  that the army of archangels will leave us alone when the first target is Barachiel?” Matasyn follows soon after, I relieve he still has the mind to form rational deduction.

“Precisely, so if you have thought through it carefully. The only one that seems viable to be our first declaration is Barachiel.” I return the favor by denouncing Jeremiel’s status as the first sacrifice.

“So what is your counter-agreement at my point or we are just going to finish with this,” I ask teasingly.

“I know the limit of my reasoning. Let us end this.” Uriel also admits defeat.

“Then we have decided to choose Barachiel as our first target. So the plan will be carried by Matasyn.” Lambert announces as he takes a deep sigh; whether it is relief or sorrow, I am glad it is finally over.

“I thank you for this wise decision, you won’t know how much this will benefit us.” Matasyn bows before us as the elf brings delicacy in as the banquet enters its final phase before

After the course is devoured by our hungry self, the banquet ends with the deadline at the full moon of the first moon of the new year.

The end

These silents nights we spend together

As eternally it seems however

Those tragedies will strike at times

As woefully I vow evermore