Tenth author's journal 2: Mikhail

46.1_Wayward wanderer

Chapter 46.1: Lost and Found

[Gabriel’s pov]

As the sun sets on our world, darkness descends upon us once again. Despite our triumphs over countless obstacles, Uriel seems immune to the vanishing of the traitor’s alliance she once put her trust in.

Our agreement is tethered to my brother’s existence as the final hope, but the weight of recent tragedies has shattered it into a thousand pieces. Memories of an oracle once dismissed as insignificant, now loom large in our minds in times of despair sowed.

The fragility of our situation is all too apparent as we grapple with the consequences of our actions. Jeremiel's once steadfast demeanor has become increasingly troubled since learning of Lambert's sacrifice.

The weight of our shared vulnerability has left a visible mark on Jeremiel's countenance. As the chaos continues to unfold, my thoughts turn to the well-being of our fellow allies. In this uncertain world, we must all cling to hope and support one another in the face of adversity.

As we traverse through the ruins of Uriel and Jeremiel's once mighty domain, we are forced to seek refuge among the humans as we flee from the remaining archangels. The night streets greet us with the warm cheers of the humans, just as they did when Camael and I once helped them against the savage beasts and demonic creatures that plagued their lands.

For our safety, we now go by code names. Ariel for Uriel, Jeremy for Jeremiel, and Gabe for me. Our once vibrant personalities have dulled, but we must persevere.

Uriel speaks softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she asks, "What must we do now, Gabe?" Her eyes, once a shimmering emerald green, now blend in easily with the crowd, no longer the telltale sign of her elven heritage.

"I have some leftover gold from my side work" I reply. "It should be enough to secure us a night's rest at a popular inn, so we can forget our worries for a moment." Those few coins were given to me as tribute by the previous former human king as a bribe for a "catastrophic" experiment involving an ancient dragon.

Uriel turns to Jeremiel, her once vibrant sister now a shell of her former self. "Jeremy, have you regained your senses?" she asks gently, but with an underlying worry in her tone. Jeremiel stares blankly at the pavement, lost in her thoughts.

“Oh, sister. I was just thinking about father words…For his last words, those are some of the cheesiest lines I have ever heard.” Tears streamed down Jeremiel's face as she held back sobs. The weight of losing someone so important had drained her of all her strength.

The moonlight shone brightly into the room, illuminating the three of us as we sat in silence, unsure of what to say or do next. It seemed as though this alliance had been formed out of necessity rather than any shared values or beliefs. To calm my nerves, I turned to write in my journal

[ Haven’t heard about Mikhail. I wonder what did God do with my brother's body.] The fragrant scent of flowers wafted in through the open window, reminding me of the countless gifts I had given to Mikhail over the years. The soft petals of the daisies outside seemed to sway in the breeze, creating a soothing sense of calm.

Suddenly, Uriel approached me, interrupting my thoughts. She had just finished singing Jeremiel a lullaby to help her drift off to sleep. Uriel was known for her beautiful voice, which she used to praise God through song. However, her next question was unexpected.

“That one, your brother. Has he died yet?” she asked me, her gaze fixed on me

“Not permanently, why the sudden interest?”  I answer, the snow outside has begun to melt, and spring has come with the scent of flowers. Those flowers remind me of countless gifts that I gave Mikhail when I return to the library. A soft sense of daisy flows by.

"You said you knew about Mikhail's plans," Uriel said, looking away as she spoke. "Aren't you worried about what he'll do to succeed?"

The concern in her voice was genuine, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness wash over me. The thought of my brother resorting to desperate measures to achieve his goals was surprising, I was ready to die on the day if he ever decide so.

The weight of Uriel's words lingers heavily in the room, suffocating any attempts at light conversation. Memories of my brother Mikhail flood my mind, threatening to consume me. It is a pain I have grown used to, a wound that never truly heals.

I let out a bitter sigh as I respond, "There is nothing to lament about. It's not like it hasn't happened before or won't happen again. But I suppose there must be some reason behind it all." My words come out tinged with resentment, revealing that I have been harboring some bitterness from what others have said.

My relationship with Mikhail is exactly as others have described it: I worshipped him. I did my utmost to protect him while also allowing him to protect me in return. We've experienced so much death and destruction together that it's hard to even think about those days now without feeling overwhelmed.

"There's no need to close up so quickly. I am only trying to ease your emotional burden. As for Mikhail...," Uriel's gentle apology does little to ease the tension in the room. Her doubts and suspicions are palpable, and I can sense her guardedness around me. Jeremiel, on the other hand, remains quietly sleeping, unaware of the turmoil brewing in our midst.

"You've misunderstood something," I try to collect myself before continuing, "My admiration for him wasn't solely because he calmed me down during those difficult times. It was also born out of a promise we made when we were young: to never harm each other unless absolutely necessary."

I take a deep breath and begin to recall some of the old memories I share with Mikhail. I talk about how he always insisted on taking the brunt of the experiments rather than allowing someone like Kushiel to harm me. Those were simpler days, back before I was dispatched all over the world. The memories are bittersweet, reminding me of a time before so much pain and loss.

As Uriel's gaze shifts to the horizon, I can feel the weight of the future bearing down on us. The first light of dawn is starting to appear, casting an eerie glow on the room. "Before the sun rises tomorrow, what comes next for us?" Uriel's voice is soft but laden with anxiety.

Taking a deep breath, I feel the burden of responsibility heavy on my shoulders. "There is so much to be done," I reply, my voice weighed down by the enormity of our task. "From what I remember of Mikhail's memories, there is a failsafe plan to retreat to a small village."

As I consider our next steps, I am torn between the options before us. Should we go to Saudade first and greet the former prince in the ruined with his ally? Or is it better to approach Mikhail's chancellor, Andromalius, and try to find a way forward with him?

But then Uriel speaks up, her voice breaking through my thoughts. "We need to go to Saudade first, I have a friend there." Her words are infused with a sense of urgency.

I pause, considering her words. And then it hits me - the envoy of sloth. That demon they had encountered together. "Is it Ragnorr Abandon?" I say, my voice filled with understanding.

Uriel's eyes meet mine, and I can see the emotion etched on her face. Her anxiety and fear are palpable, but I can also sense her determination. "Nothing escapes your notice," she says, her voice tinged with bitterness. "But yes, it's Ragnorr."

“Then I will take us to the clustered of Saudade’s ruin. That is after we have breakfast.” I start to gather our belongings, which isn't much, but still enough to slow us down if we're not careful. Uriel, who has already groomed herself, watches me with a calm but determined expression.

Jeremiel, who has just woken up, interrupts our preparations with a careless comment. "But we can skip one, you know. I mean after becoming archangels, we don't feel hungry anymore so what is the point of meals?"

Uriel's eyes flash with anger. "Quite an idiotic assumption, Jeremy," she retorts sharply. "We may have enhanced organs, but we are still bound by our physical needs. Starvation can still kill us."

I can sense the tension rising between them, and I quickly step in to diffuse the situation. "Enough bickering," I say firmly, holding up the room key. "Let's return this and get some breakfast before we head out."

As we descend the stairs, the tantalizing aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling noodles permeates the air, whetting our appetites. The tavern keeper greets us with a warm smile and takes the keys back from us, eager to hear our breakfast orders.

Uriel and Jeremiel both request a glass of soy milk and stir-fried vegetarian noodles respectively, while I order a steaming cup of coffee and a plate of fluffy pancakes. As we wait for our food to arrive, the tavern keeper leans in and whispers, "You bear a striking resemblance to one of my regular customers, Sir Gabriel."

Her words catch me off guard and I turn to her, intrigued by her observation. "It's Gabe, and you have quite an eye for detail, ma'am," I whisper back.

She chuckles and replies, "That was your brother and a demon, and now you're here with two other archangels. I feel incredibly fortunate to have met so many powerful beings in my short life." As she hands me a casket of beer, I'm not sure what to make of the unexpected gift, but she insists that we take it with us.

My photographic memory and coordination skills helped us reach Saudade without any difficulty. To our surprise, the capital seemed to have suffered no damage, indicating that Azazel wasn't a vengeful demon after all.

As we approached the entrance, a shadowy figure quickly emerged and charged at us with hostility. It was an incubus, and something about him felt familiar. Before I could process my thoughts, he lunged at us with his sword, slashing wildly. It was then that I realized who he was - Kryos, one of my brother's closest companions. He had tears in his eyes, and his actions were purely driven by emotion.

Blood Claw, another one of Mikhail's companions, stood calmly beside Kryos. The roles of these two were now objectively twisted on the opposite side, with the mercenary displaying more rational behavior than the supposed former prince.

"Stop it, we're here to speak with Rag-" Uriel's plea was interrupted by Kryos's blind rage, and I couldn't help but wonder how Mikhail had taken a shine to someone like him, who acted purely on impulse and charisma.

The incubus continued to rant on and on, accusing us of being twisted and hypocritical for claiming to be allies while letting a small angel die without remorse. However, his tirade was abruptly cut short when Jeremiel's hammer met his face.

Uriel and Jeremiel worked to calm the incubus down while Blood Claw approached me with a fierce and wary stance, his red demon eyes scanning for any weaknesses to exploit. Gripping his axe tightly, he seemed ready to attack at any moment, and I braced myself for the worst.

"If you are truly allies, I will apologize later for my impudence, but Kryos really needs this," he said, before dropping his axe and seeming to calm down a bit. Perhaps he saw something in me that reminded him of my brother and helped him control his rage. I couldn't help but be impressed by his level-headedness, especially considering his past as a bloody mercenary.

"Blood Claw, is it not? Let us postpone this fight for another day. I will give your prince fifteen minutes before intervening," I said, lowering my guard slightly.

"There is no need for that. Kryos's tomfoolery must stop now," a voice suddenly came from behind us, and Kryos was knocked unconscious with a single strike to the head.

"You take too long for the efficiency you boast about, Ragnorr." Uriel's voice was laced with impatience as she addressed Ragnorr. Her words held a hint of annoyance as if this visit had been scheduled long before and Ragnorr was taking too much time to address their concerns.

“You must pardon my friend, lady Uriel. He has been quite a state after the sovereign’s death.” Ragnorr apologized to Uriel, bowing slightly in deference to her.

The man was quite different from what Uriel and Mikhail had described. He stood up straight and spoke with a formal, dignified tone that was in stark contrast to his usual laid-back and straightforward manner.

Jeremiel's urgency was palpable as she cut in, "Then where is his corpse?"

I turned to Blood Claw and asked, "Can you take me to Aeterna's village since you're the most plausible guide?" Blood Claw didn't take kindly to my request, and his pride seemed to have been insulted.

He responded curtly, "I won't question how you know these things, but I will take your words from here." Though he didn't turn his back on me, his clothing suggested that he was ill-equipped and unprepared. The group had just returned from Matasyn's domain, and the harsh snow had taken a toll on them all.

Blood Claw then turned to Ragnorr and addressed him aggressively, "Are you coming, Lord Ragnorr?" There was a strong sense of hostility in his tone that hadn't been there before.

I wondered where this sudden anger had come from. If my deduction was correct, all of them must have blamed each other for Mikhail's death

With Jeremiel’s cough, the rage of both demons settles down for a little from the bystander’s nervousness. At least you have done one thing right after all those chains of unfortunates.

“I must preserve things in Saudade to prepare for its sovereign to return.” Ragnorr answers and swiftly make a return to the capital with wrap.

“Then everyone else please come with me. It will be a rough trip.” Blood Claw can’t teleport…how great, now I have been reminded how I thought they wouldn’t harm Mikhail.

Because they are simply too weak to do so.

The end

I try to fill the void he left,

To find new things and not feel bereft,

But nothing quite can take his place,

And life without him is a different pace.