Tenth author's journal 2: Mikhail

47_Prosopamesia

Chapter 47: Slept daze

“Gabriel, you are here. I am not in the place again, right?” This shouldn’t be true, I need to wake up from here. These fulfilling dreams are not of my own but also his, why does he appear here or perhaps this isn’t Aeterna but another cage that Sariel build for me?

Trying to recall what my last memory was, Matasyn had made a foolish wish that cause a thousand lives to be traded for mine. And then I made a contract with God…The horn is still here so it means it’s been true, God has made quite a cruel joke for me to wake up like this.

“It seems that waking up at this time is too soon for you. Another month or year for you to comprehend things, Mikhail.” Gabriel smiles strangely, his expression is quite mature looking somehow. Time has passed quite much or at least the world set to be.

“Be straight with me, Gabriel. Did my escape come undone?” I ask hastily, falling to the soft bed of snow. Glass is scattered from where I have awakened, the scent of brunt flower, as they thought that I have perished for the last time. They aren’t clueless about that or perhaps they were distrust of Matasyn’s method.

“Undone? You should be more specific on your question for its answer vary on your context, brother.” The mixed feelings on how to answer Gabriel, it’s both gut-twisting and hopeful at the same time. May as well begins with the banquet of traitors, since Uriel is so sure that she would survive as my ally in the end.

“The rebellion against Sariel, you must have known at the moment that Barachiel died. Lambert perished at the hand of Camael, Matasyn sacrificed himself for mine. The only one left is Uriel.” I recount those names as I scratch them off one by one, while being quite risky I trust Gabriel to keep this secret not to be heard by Sariel.

“She was back in Saudade, working with Ragnorr to fulfilled your unfinished reigning. Andromalius decide to stay back in Aeterna and train the army to take avenge your death.” Gabriel answers confidently, Uriel must have told him so. But remember with such a remark I don’t he would form them from experience with them only.

“It doesn’t need to be said no but how did you receive all of that? Did Uriel convience you or?” I ask while looking closely at his demeanor.

“I have figured them all by the game that shared in our childhood. If Uriel tried to open her precious mouth to confess, you would take a thousand years more to rebuild this now wasteland.” Gabriel retells what has happened until my awakening.

After recruiting Jeremiel, they rescue Uriel and fight with Blood Claw and Kryos before having Ragnorr stand in between and Blood Claw bring Jeremiel and him back to Aeterna to look after my body laid in a coffin of flower.

“The transmission game? I thought it suppose to be both or at least one of us in that realm for it to work?” Everything pieces perfectly together except the game, there are not many games that require a transfer of knowledge and none of them has the viability like the transmission game.

The transmission game was a notification system that I created to warn Gabriel not to walk into Sariel’s experiment on accident so he wouldn’t wind up being a subject like me, that was until he was sent to battle does the game cease its former usage.

“It was never like that, you were always too busy to notice the line connection between us. Our memories and thoughts can transmit through that line.” Gabriel answer wittingly,

I have never thought of the usage of that realm to be flexible as it only serves as the place for me to modify my vessel. I am proud of him to think outside of the box this time.

“There are hidden rules to that game as well? Then as the cheater you must have known full well how beneficial does it make our communication.” I huff in frustration, only to receive his playful chuckle.

“Without looking as blood dripped down your path, only freedom was precious for you back then. Should I want to capture you, the day you set foot outside the night inn would be Blood Claw’s death day.”Gabriel teases. His playful threat aligns with that creep's presence on that day, so he has had his eyes on me ever since that day.

“Nonetheless you held back that day, I thank you for that. Your presence on my side is very reassuring, Gabriel. And you deserve many apologies after this.” There are many things to have said and done to have caused Gabriel misery but on those days, they were necessary.

I am not a flawless being and not arrogant enough not to admit my faults. After these days were gone, I would find the occasion to properly confess my faults to him.

“I know the day that we turn enemies, you will give me the dignified and merciful death like the gentleness of that you protect me in our childhood. As long as you won’t discard me, I will always serve as your spear.” Gabriel proudly announces.

Hearing that just want to make my blood boil so much, he was ready to throw away his life for me as Blood Claw did to Kryos. It’s an enraging imitation of an unhealthy picture of idiotic selflessness. Only a few months before I corrected Andromalius, now I have to with Gabriel.

“Have you gone mad after those few months of sleeping, those horns must have been the keepsake of punishment.” Gabriel huffs.

“You are no one weapon but an individual as everyone should be, moreover being my brother. I won’t let those days make a habit of you longer.” I answer with an annoying tone. We bid farewell as he makes a sly remark about how much he has been “working” on; knowing how he usually takes care of his duty, they are just

From the memory that I know, he supposes to be here or somewhere else, Gabriel said that Andromalius should be around the hall at this time. He hasn’t heeded my warning and taken care of himself at all so Gabriel force him some time, I am glad that there is still a sensible one.

They have all left for work as the city hall is only quiet with a few mocking imitations of guards, as I remember it was closely guarded before the last day I visited the place.

Opening inside there are lights so someone must have stayed behind, it leads to his chamber may this one his rest day. I haven’t seen the moon and know which month it is now to know of rest. Dreading the corridor, the hallway is kept tidy at least.

“Greetings, sir Andromalius.” Instead of tireless swings or a flickering flame, he is quite cozy inside that garnet shade blanket, it’s rare to see Andromalius be like this, Gabriel is more assertive than I will ever be so it is necessary for his behavior to change something less self-destructive

“The pile is in the almost emptied tray, you should put it there Gabriel.” Without moving the blanket out of the way, Andromalius pointed at the two silver trays.

“You should take a look at the very least, I am sure you will speak more enthusiastically once your eyes aren’t half–opened,” I answer in a whimsical manner, maybe keeping the play of Gabriel should get me something to be cleared of this sleep daze.

“Besides you practice the more soft-spoken manner of your brother, there is an unfaltering aura they speak it is unchangeable. Now please leave me rest, as you said they would wish for me to rest for more so don’t be hypocritical now.” He doesn’t want to be disturbed so be it. I always have a better place to find information, let keep to sleeper from slumber.

“ I see you are too tired to catch a glimpse, sir Andromalius. My sleeping days were over but yours is just beginning let's not make haste now.”I close the door behind me with an assurance of  [lullaby], for his dream no longer to be bitter.

“The tone…it can’t be. Please wait, even if it is just a dream, do let me see you again.” Before another can be said, the tired leader cast his eyes to sleep. Sleep well, my dutiful chancellor, may your restfulness be sweet as also.

“Ah, it is no mere dream but you should rest more as you put it. Here we should meet again once you are ready.”

‘Collocatione’ and I am back in the same castle for where it begins. How nostalgic, greet not flower but lances points at the closure at the throat.

“Little Baphomet, you shouldn’t wander around the royal castle, the prince of the sleeping land is too busy to have visitors today.” The guards hold their positions high, that is what I expected anyway, the horns are my new permanent features so it isn’t well known somewhere else.

I have heard many hymns sung in my legacy, so much as the light in the land of forsaken. How much of them twisted my image to something godly yet when I lost my “holiness” does it come unrecognizable?

“I understand, please do mention his research partner is here to see his highness.” The prince of the sleeping land can only be mentioned to Ragnorr because of the pact he upheld when we made our alliance. He would take over and help Andromalius upon my passing. And researching partner is a title that he can very little with his friend because not many accept his magic theories.

“There is no need for such, you make quite a disguise, your majesty.” A heavy chuckle startles from behind me.

“We greet the dark bishop.” The guards bow at the gargoyle as he holds his hand at mine, like a child I suppose to hold out only for him to switch the position to caress his horns without a moment of hesitation.

“Are these genuine? I suppose once while the one accumulates is destined to fall but your soul has yet lost its shine, your majesty.” A slight sensation makes me uncomfortable to back off. Quite a disadvantage to having a horn, does it?

“It’s God’s punishment, one’s is so minor as well. Other than something more significant, it cost a ripple of a thousand souls at the very least.” I answer.

Stammper back how easily I said such things as if they are meant to be such sacrifices; I feel cheated of these sentimental reactions are robbed from me as my dull sense comes quite much being swayed by these mischievous ideas.

“A thousand souls, my I never thought someone like your Majesty is to be so ruthless. We shall continue in the castle as well, please let me escort you to cease any misunderstandings” The dark bishop chuckles and drags me by my hand to the castle.

It hasn’t changed much, but something amiss. The servants aren’t singing songs of the joy of leisure, but instead a sedated kind of atmosphere, the dark bishop looks smiling as it is supposed to be like this as always, only before my demeanor floods the place of informality.

“How much are you expect me to train you? You are too stubborn now than your lifeless self before.” A frustrated voice stands on in the silence, it echoes from the training ground.

“Until it is enough, I wasn’t enough back then. If I could do more, their majesty wouldn’t die.” Another answer, I turn to the dark bishop making a gesture to have stopped as he sighs in reluctance.

“Their passing isn’t in our expectation, you were just a child back then. Even the like of your father is powerless before that battle.” From the look, Furcas and Blood Claw are trying to cheer Shin up, quite a difficult child even more than his father sometimes.

Furcas looks over as I was spotted not early, not a word can escape my tight lips, like something quite painful that holds me back from speaking normally to them.

“Speaking as stubborn look who is finally back. The bishop himself, here for what? Another lesson of faith for you to preach?” Furcas starts from the awkwardness of my own. Obviously, someone who deemed himself as the hell knight so has a vision that transcends the disguise of the soul itself.

“And for this cutie, let me have a talk with this one for a while since the other one wouldn’t stop talking nonsense.”

Holding my hand tightly finally out of sight, the molten lava leaking continuously from the armor, holding himself with the figure of a skeleton Furcas begins his tantrums.

“Do you know how much I was devastated over you on that day? How Andromalius couldn’t hold back his tears that I continually combust myself in flames.” Furcas retells the day of my death when Andromalius fought with Furcas to hold his flame from burning down Saudade. The angel army never made the appearance once more upon the land but they lost a sovereign on that day.

You wouldn’t understand or it wasn’t in my necessary calculation are just excuses. With those tears before me, my heart wretches. “It was necessary, Furcas,” I answer.

“I know, you want to keep being all high and mighty, but we thought you have died. Leaving the crumb trial of your suicide, don’t you think of my feeling, finally for someone to lend my strength to something finally constructive.” Furcas.

 How they piece together my plan to end everything by myself. I was holding out the fear of even after my passing Sariel continue to terrorize the land that I hold so dear. I can’t make arguments against my depression.

“I am tired of those days, wandering through nothingness where my footstep was only cinder of the past. You should know what and when to do that, better break it normally rather than a ghost messiah.” Without those tears, Furcas end the tantrum with a deep sigh.

“I understand, and I apologize, Furcas.” I go without looking back not knowing how to give a meaningful apology without making excuses for myself. I have to strive for them too, this time with myself also account for the vision of the distant future.

“There are many more to continue those vain words, I would settle down on your blood as a half-hearted apology” Furcas breaks into a chuckle, though tears are still falling down, there is nothing but to let them flow down.

“Only the finest are sincere.” I finish as I return to the old office which is occupated by someone else. The somber atmosphere begins with a voice from the demon behind the chair.

“You’re finally here, the true sovereign of Saudade.”

The end

So gather your thoughts, make a plan 

Put one foot in front of the other and 

Move forward with purpose and drive 

Restarting can be how you thrive