EOIN
I needed to get the hell out of here.If I didn’t think it’d be an insult to everyone who’d died and been injured worse than me, I would’ve walked out as soon as I could manage it on my own and damn the consequences. Being here just reminded me of everything that’d happened. Of everything I’d lost.If I’d been in a civilian hospital, maybe it would’ve been better, but I was still army, and when we got hurt as bad as I had, this was where they sent us. Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Landstuhl, Germany. Military run, so I saw men and women in uniform every day, and each time I saw one, it was like a fresh punch to the gut.I closed my eyes and tried to push everything out of my head, tried not to think at all, but I’d never been able to manage that, no matter what most of my teachers had claimed when I was growing up. When I hadn’t been paying attention in school, it’d been because I’d been thinking of somethinRelated Chapters
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 108
EOINThree months and three days.It’d been three months and three days since I lost my best friend, my second family, and the future I’d planned for myself.Technically, I hadn’t lost the last two. I’d given them up. But I’d given them up because of what’d happened to Leo. A part of me wondered if I would’ve felt the same way if it’d been a firefight rather than an ambush, or if it’d been anyone but me who’d dragged Leo over to the place where he’d been killed. If it hadn’t been my fault. It still would’ve been awful, but I didn’t know if I still would’ve decided not to re-enlist.When I’d gotten here, I’d been put in temporary housing since the army really hadn’t known what to do with me. Da’s string-pulling hadn’t covered anything permanent, but I’d been okay with that since I hadn’t planned on staying. Even if I had re-enlisted, I wouldn’t have been staying here. I would’ve gone back to my squad.What was left of t
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 109
EOINI’d been home for ten days, and I’d finally gotten up thecourage to do the thing I’d been dreading from the moment I was told that Leo was dead. Even though I’d been less than twenty minutes away since I’d come back to the States, I hadn’t left the base, hadn’t gone back to my parents’ house, to the neighborhood. I’d known that, as soon as I was back here, I’d have to face all the memories of Leo and me growing up.And I’d have to face his family.I ran my fingers through my hair and wished I’d thought to get it cut so it was neater. I’d shaved for the first time in almost two weeks, but that’d been due to the realization that my facial hair drew more attention to the scar because hair wouldn’t grow there. I hadn’t really thought about looking presentable until I’d already made the decision to go today. I didn’t want to put it off any longer, though, not even for a haircut. I wasn’t sure how long it would take m
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 110
ALINEI’d heard the term ‘butterflies in the stomach’ before, but I’dnever experienced it until now. This was really happening. October twelfth had been marked on my calendar for months, and we were finally here.Freedom and I were going to Iran to work on teaching underprivileged kids English. Well, technically, I was doing the teaching because that was my field, but Freedom would be in the classroom with me to act as translator.Over the summer, she’d taught me some basics of Persian and Arabic. I might’ve been able to muddle through on my own, but she was fluent, and translating had always been what she’d wanted to do with her International Relations degree. It’d just made sense to say we were a matched set.Plus, our parents would’ve had a fit if I’d wanted to go on my own. They’d freaked out enough when Freedom had told them what we were going to do. It wasn’t because they didn’t think it was a good cause, just th
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 111
EOINIf I didn’t get out of the house, I was going to explode.My family had been great these past four months, giving me space and not pushing me too hard, so it wasn’t that I wanted to get away from any of them. It was because I’d never done well with being cooped up.When I’d been going through my rebellious phase, being grounded and not allowed to go anywhere had been the worst form of punishment. One of the things that Leo had used to get me to join up with him had been the promise of constant movement. I’d had no problem with how hard the physical stuff had been or with the danger I’d faced. Honestly, I’d liked both of those realities.That changed the same day as everything else.In the hospital, being around people hadn’t really been an issue because walking around that vast space, doing my physical therapy, I hadn’t been the only one with visible scars. Hell, I’d been one of the luckier ones.
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 112
ALINEOkay, so the past week had been a little different than I’dthought it’d be, but it hadn’t been bad, exactly. Just different.I’d expected to use all of the nice, neat lesson plans I’d learned how to make, decorate my classroom, have those nice, neat rows of desks, a chalkboard. Freedom and I would get set up in our apartment or hotel room, then check out the school and neighborhood, talk to some people. Or, rather, I would talk, and Freedom would translate once I got past my limited Persian and Arabic.But that wasn’t exactly how things worked out. I hadn’t realized that the expansive Neutral Ground headquarters would be not only where we’d be housing our classes, but it was also where all the volunteers stayed. Not only did it allow for better security – not everyone in Iran approved of what we were doing – but it also gave us women the ability to relax the dress code we followed both in the classroom and whenever we left the building.While female tourists could often get awa
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 113
EOINI TOWELED OFF MY HAIR AND AVOIDED LOOKING IN THE BATHROOMmirror, still not ready to see my reflection. I’d tried lying to myself before, saying that I didn’t want to see how out of shape I was, but I couldn’t really use that as an excuse anymore. It’d only been a few days since I’d started working out again, but I could already feel the difference, even if I wasn’t sure I could see it. Still, it felt good to be physical again.None of that meant I wanted to compare what I used to look like to what my reflection would show now.And it wasn’t just the scars either.About two weeks after I’d gone to see Israel and Nana Naz, I’d gone to a local tattoo place. It’d taken everything I had to do it, but I’d forced myself to follow through. I’d checked it to make sure it healed correctly, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to actually look at it since then.The tattoo of Leo’s dog tags, with the chain
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 114
ALINEIt was hard to believe that this was our last week here. Thelast Monday I’d wake up in the room Freedom and I shared. The last Monday I’d go to that little kitchen to get some coffee, so I’d be alert when my students arrived.Freedom would already be in the classroom, straightening things that probably didn’t need to be straightened. She was a complete perfectionist and one of those crazy morning people that got up hours earlier than necessary. I didn’t bother trying to keep up with her. I’d learned a long time ago that it was impossible.As I hovered in that place between sleeping and waking up, I was tempted to try for another ten or twenty minutes of sleep. I hadn’t woken up enough that it’d be di cult to drift off again. Sleep hadn’t ever been di cult for me, especially when I was this tired. The jet lag had been awful the first two days, but once I’d adjusted, I’d expected to feel the same way as I did
The Billionaire Impotent son-in-law 115
ALINEWhen I’d told Freedom that I’d take care of everything, Ihadn’t really thought that she’d end up having to stay in the hospital all week. She’d had her appendectomy not long after she’d arrived at the hospital, but there had been a couple complications with infection, but they’d been minor. Not enough for any major concern or even bad enough for us to have to postpone our return home. She would, however, have to go straight from the hospital to the airport tomorrow morning, which meant it was my responsibility to pack, turn in the room key, do all those sorts of things.It’d been a strange week for me all the way around.Since I hadn’t had Freedom to translate for me, I’d had to struggle my way through my classes, using what little Persian and Arabic I’d picked up whenever my students hadn’t been able to find the English word they’d wanted. There had been more than a few moments of laughter as communication disintegrated
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EOINI’D JUST BEEN READY TO CALL ALINE WHEN A TEXT CAME THROUGHthat she was coming back and we needed to talk. I went back and forth between anxiety and relief while I waited for her. We couldn’t keep doing this.Our lives were linked, and we didn’t have the luxury of waiting until we had our shit figured out before deciding to start a family. The baby was on the way, and no matter what she and I disagreed about, I had no doubt that we were on the same page when it came to being the best parents we could be. To do that, we needed to work this out sooner rather than later.Since I didn’t know if Aline had her key, I unlocked the door and then spent the next fifteen minutes or so pacing from one end of the living room to the other and back again.When she came in, I wanted to just blurt out an apology and explanation, but I also didn’t want to come on too strong. How the fuck did people do this? How did they know what to say or how to say it? I didn’t know the ans
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EOINTHE MOMENT THE WORDS CAME OUT OF ALINE’S MOUTH, I COULD SEEthat she wanted to take them back. Not because she regretted accepting my proposal or didn’t want to live with me, but because blurting it out like that had been like dropping a bomb.Now, we were just waiting for it to explode. I could read it on their faces. I read it on her face too. She realized the impact of what she’d done.And then Freedom turned on me, her expression furious.“What the hell did you do?!” She pointed at me, her clear blue eyes flashing. “How dare you take advantage of her when she was upset! Out on her own for the first time and vulner–”“We’re engaged,” Aline cut her off, clearly deciding to get it all out now that things were in motion for a confrontation. “And I’m pregnant.”Freedom’s jaw dropped, and her face went white. Aline’s jaw tightened. “So, back off.”“What?”The word came out as a whisper, confirming for me that Aline had never spoken to Freedom that way before.“Eoin is m
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EOINIF I DIDN’T QUIT SNEAKING LOOKS AT ALINE, SHE WAS GOING TO CATCHme and want to know what the hell I was doing. Then I’d be put in the very awkward position of either lying to her and her figuring it out or telling the truth and pissing her off. Neither scenario ended well for me.She’d agreed to tell my parents about our engagement and the baby, and I was going with her tomorrow to spend Christmas Day with her family. Both of those were things that I wanted, but I kept feeling like some other shoe was going to drop and ruin it. That she’d suddenly recognize the fact that she could do so much better than me and decide that, while she might want the baby, she didn’t want me along with it. Or she’d think about how pissed Freedom was going to be when she saw me and realize I wasn’t worth the headache.Death wasn’t the only thing that could take someone away.So, I kept watching her, paying close attention to every expression, to every shift in body language.I’d been worried at Marti
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EOINTHE SCENT OF PEACHES WOKE ME UP, AND IT TOOK A MOMENT FOR MEto remember why my bed smelled like fruit. Aline. My eyes opened, my need to reassure myself that she really was here greater than me wanting to sleep a little longer. Once I saw her, I couldn’t look away.We were both on our sides, her back to my front. Her body was curled up, making her look even smaller than she was, and a surge of protectiveness went through me. I slid my hand from her hip to her stomach, wondering when I’d be able to feel the changes to her body, when the baby would start to move, how big it was right now.Was it a boy or girl? Would Aline want to know before or have it be a surprise? When would we be able to tell?I had a lot of research to do, I realized. I wanted to do this right, and that meant not leaving everything up to Aline. Some of the questions colliding together in my brain were the kind that she and I could talk about. I could find the answers for all the others myself. S
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EOINI PUT MY PHONE DOWN ON THE COUNTER AND GOT A BEER FROM THEfridge. If I wasn’t driving anywhere tonight, I didn’t need to worry about how much I drank. If I couldn’t be with Aline, taking care of her, getting a little drunk sounded like a good idea. Not so much that I’d be hung over tomorrow, but enough to take the edge off.It was a hell of an edge. Pregnant.I was going to be a father.Maybe. Aline could decide to terminate the pregnancy, but after how her parents had struggled to have kids, I didn’t think that was going to be the route she took. If she did, I’d be there with her, but even as shell-shocked as I was right now, I was hoping she’d have the baby.My baby. Fuck.I needed to sit down, but the few chairs I had were covered with shit from my storage unit. The floor would have to do. I leaned back against my refrigerator and took a long drink.I’d never really thought about being a father. My parents never pressured any of us kids about giving them
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EOINI DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY ALINE WOULD – AGAIN – THINK I DIDN’Twant her. I knew her family was really overprotective of her, but I couldn’t imagine that translating into any type of emotional abuse. She was a certified genius and one of the most selfless people I’d ever met. And she was gorgeous. The fact that she’d been a virgin – barely even kissed if Freedom had been right about that too – confused the shit out of me because she had to have had guys all over her.Just the thought of any other man near her made my arms tighten around her. I still had my hand in her pants, could hear her ragged breathing slow and even out…and I was jealous of men I didn’t even know, men who might not even exist.Men I didn’t want to exist.I wanted to be it for her. The only man who’d ever know what she looked like when she came.Shit.The thought should have terrified me, but it didn’t. Even though I was painfully hard, I was content to stand here, holding her, rubbing her back with my free hand.
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ALINEEOIN’S PLACE WAS GORGEOUS. AND HUGE. NOT AT ALL WHAT I’D BEENexpecting, even after he’d told me that he’d leased a condo rather than an apartment. I’d already known that he’d come from a wealthy family, so it wasn’t the cost of a place like this that surprised me. It was more that this didn’t seem like the sort of place that a single, not-quite-thirty, former military man would live. This was more of a…family home.A beautiful one, but I was starting to feel like seeing all of it, being here with him while such a large question was looming over us, was untethering me from reality. I had experienced this strange disconnect only a few times in my life, most of them recently.“Hey.” His hands were on either side of my face, his skin hot against my cheeks. “It’s okay.”I looked up at him, and then his mouth was on mine, firm pressure without being aggressive, and the contact sent a wave of warmth washing over me, pushing away thoughts of anything else.This man could distract
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EOINMY BROTHER, ROME, HAD OUTDONE HIMSELF WITH THIS CONDO, ANDI’d made a point of telling him that when he’d met me there before I’d gone to pick up Aline this morning. I hadn’t, however, told him about what was going on.I wanted her to meet my family. I knew that by now, but I didn’t want it to happen with a question mark over our heads. So, until we got those test results, only Alec knew that this was a possibility. No matter what happened, though, I wanted her to see my new place because, at some point, I planned for it to be our place.Some of my tension had left when Aline had told me that she was okay and that the IUD debacle hadn’t been my fault, but it’d been such a small bit that as we moved into Playa Vista, my stomach was one giant knot of nerves. Most of it was because we still didn’t know for certain whether or not she was pregnant, but there was still a part of it that had to do with how she felt about my new home. I wanted her to love it.I took her hand as we w
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ALINEI DIDN’T KNOW IF I’D THROWN UP FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO BECAUSE Ihad morning sickness or if it’d been nerves, but either way, it hadn’t been pleasant. I’d been able to force down some crackers, and they’d helped with my upset stomach, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely quell my anxiety until I had the results of the blood test. Even if I was pregnant, the waiting was far worse than either answer would be.Eoin seemed to share my sentiments as he arrived nearly twenty minutes early, and apart from the drive, hadn’t been able to sit still. Even in the car, he’d been moving, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel or on his leg, flipping through radio stations, that sort of thing.The latter would have annoyed me normally, but nothing about this situation was normal. And if I were to be entirely honest, I didn’t mind the radio being on because neither of us had said more than a few words, and I preferred the background noise that prevented a total awkward silence betw