LUMEN
“PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU, AN INTELLIGENT COLLEGEgraduate, forgot to ask a client to pay his bill before he left?”Lihua was no bigger than five feet tall, but when she planted her hands on her slender hips and gave me that look of complete disappointment and disapproval, she might as well have been a giant.We were both at the front counter, waiting for the next scheduled client. Saturdays could get busy, so two other MTs were already in the back room, changing into their uniforms. Lihua had changed a few minutes ago, wanting the chance to look over the books from last night before we opened.“My final client last night asked for an…ending,” I said. She knew what that meant, of course, but her expression held no sympathy.“You know the procedure,” Lihua said. “Tell him we are not that kind of establishment. Then you end the session and take the payment as normal.”“I know, LiSIXALEC“WHAT’S WRONG, DADDY?” THE QUESTION CAME OUT OF THE BLUE ASI tucked Evanne into bed. She always came up with the best questions at bedtime.At eight years old, she was wise beyond her years, and I hoped that it wasn’t due to anything her mother and I had done, or hadn’t done, for that matter. Keli had primary custody, and I had enough visitation that I’d always had a relationship with my daughter, but I’d always felt like I was responsible for her missing out on something.I blinked at her. “What do you mean, mo chride?”Her blue eyes lit up at the familiar term of endearment, but then they faded again as she answered my question. “You seem weird.”“Maybe I’m the normal one, and it’s you who’s the wee odd one,” I suggested, letting my accent regress to my childhood simply because it made her burst into the sweetest giggles I’d ever heard. I’d been a serious child, and it took a lot for me to shake that off and give Evanne a father she would be comfortable talking to
LUMEN“GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!” MAI CALLED OUT AS SHE ENTERED THEapartment.I was sitting on the living room sofa – on the end opposite from where I’d caught Mai and Hob having sex – working on my upcoming lesson plans when her sing-song voice carried into the living room. School didn’t start until the Tuesday after Labor Day, but in two days, I would o cially walk into a school building as a teacher. Not a student teacher. Not a classroom assistant. An actual teacher.I was trying to ignore how nervous I was about it. “Uh, Friday?” I said.Mai beamed as she bounced into the room, still dressed in her black tunic and yoga pants from Real Life Bodywork.“Exactly!” she said. “You promised we would hang out and get drinks this weekend.”Had I? I thought back to last weekend. Right. I’d come home from work, already reeling from Alec asking me out, and I’d caught her and Hob on the sofa. I’d wanted to hide away in my room rather than go out to celebrate my resignation from RLB, but Mai had
ALECTHIS WASN’T HOW I’D SEEN MY WEEKEND GOING WHEN I WOKE UPyesterday morning. Then Keli called last night to ask if she could have Evanne for the weekend so the two of them could do some back-to-school shopping and girls’ day things.I assumed that meant a spa, manicure, pedicure, that sort of thing. When I heard Evanne chattering excitedly in the background, I agreed. Keli had always been good at working with my schedule when I needed her to. I’d take Evanne for the three-day weekend over Labor Day, and we’d do our own special stuff then. She’d been begging me to take her rock climbing, so maybe we’d do that.The downside to Keli taking Evanne at the last minute was that I hadn’t planned on having nothing to do for the weekend, and I needed to stay busy to keep from thinking about Lumen. I’d been on my way home when I’d gotten a text from Duncan MacLean, an old friend of mine from Edinburgh, inviting me to stop in for a tasting of his new scotch.Duncan and I weren
LUMENI’D THOUGHT THAT MY NEW JOB WOULD MONOPOLIZE ENOUGH OF MYtime that I wouldn’t be able to spend it thinking about Alec. I was wrong.It had been almost a full week since my…encounter with him, but the way my brain kept obsessing over it, it was like it’d happened last night. Then again, in a way, it did because every night, the moment I closed my eyes, I saw it again. Felt it. Experienced every bit of sensory overload as if it was happening for the first time. No matter how exhausted I made myself, I always dreamed of it and woke gasping, my body right on the brink of something explosive.I wasn’t an idiot. I knew what a climax was. I’d just never experienced one. Privacy had never been easy to come by in foster care. Shared bedrooms. Shared bathrooms, usually with a limited supply of hot water. I’d never considered it important enough to actively seek out the time and space to try to work myself up to one. I’d never thought I was missing something until I’d run away from Alec.I
ALECNORMALLY, I HAD EVANNE ONE TO TWO WEEKENDS PER MONTH,depending on how work was going, but three-day weekends like Memorial Day or Labor Day, those were mine, and as inadequate as I sometimes felt when it came to parenting an eight-year-old girl, I loved having that extra day.A couple weeks ago, Keli had asked me to take an extra day this weekend, dropping Evanne off on Thursday evening instead of Friday night. At first, I’d thought about making an excuse, but I’d felt a flood of guilt after a few seconds. Keli had always been so good about our arrangement that I felt like a complete bastard telling her I couldn’t take a single extra day off from the company my family owned.I’d checked with my assistant, Tuesday Boswell, and she’d assured me that MIRI – McCrae International Research Institute – could survive without me for four days. I’d almost snapped at her for being so smug, but she was an excellent assistant, and I could be a di cult bastard to work for sometimes. Fortunately
LUMENIT WAS TIME.As the assortment of parents and students came into the classroom, I tried not to show how completely petrified I was. It wasn’t just the normal nerves that I would’ve felt at my first open house at any other school. These were not the same sorts of people I’d grown up around. Kurt Wright was one of Seattle’s best, most exclusive – and most expensive – private schools, which meant the people were the best, most exclusive – and richest – in the city.The generally older fathers wore suits, with the occasional younger sweater-wearing startup mogul among them. The elegant mothers wore pantsuits and blazers or fashionable but conservative dresses. All had more jewels on their fingers, around their necks, or in their ears than I’d ever seen. There seemed to be more mothers than fathers, and a few people who didn’t really seem to be either. My guess was nannies or tutors, though a few silver-haired men and women might’ve been grandparents.Then there were the kids. All neat
ALECCONTRARY TO WHAT CLASSIC FAIRY TALES HAD TO SAY, STEPMOTHERSwere a godsend.My mother hadn’t been gone for a year when my father had come home from a business trip to America to say that he’d met someone. Five months later, Theresa Gracen Carideo became my stepmother and brought with her four children: Austin, Rome, Paris, and Aspen. I’d gone from being one of five to being one of nine, and I’d resented it.Theresa had been a widow, so she’d not only understood loss, but she’d helped her own kids after their father died. Things hadn’t magically gotten better between us, but she’d been as patient with me and my siblings as she’d been with her own biological kids, and we’d eventually developed a wonderful relationship.Wonderful enough that after I’d put Evanne to bed Thursday night, I’d called Theresa. She’d been at my house the next morning. With Evanne being the only grandchild on my side of the fami
LUMENBY THE TIME SCHOOL LET OUT THURSDAY AFTERNOON, I WAS BOTHexhausted and exhilarated, a combination that I was sure I’d experience over and over again while doing this job.After years of balancing college courses and working at a job I tolerated for Mai’s sake and my own financial sanity, I had a career. A pension. Benefits. Medical insurance. As much job security as anyone could in this economy.There were only a few people left on the school grounds as I left the building, but that wasn’t surprising. I’d stayed late adjusting my lesson plans now that I had a better understanding of my students, and I was looking forward to seeing my ideas implemented.As exciting as it was, it was also more than a little terrifying, knowing that all of this rested on my shoulders. I’d enjoyed student teaching but had chafed under a teacher who was so old school that she’d shot down any fresh ideas I’d suggested. Once I’d finish